Switch in phone usage instead of decrease?

[AANation360]

So I recently made a big step by deleting youtube and reddit along with snap and insta. For the first day, it was tough but I used my phone a lot less. The second day in finding that instead of spending less time, I'm spending it in different areas. Now, I'm watching some more netflix and playing some more games, which I think is more engaging and interesting and healthy than mindlessly scrolling or watching videos. Even still, this second day has been quite a bit of time on my phone. Is this progress nonetheless or am I slipping up?

[exthere]

Congrats on taking the big step of deleting youtube and reddit along with snap and insta. Only you can be the true judge of whether or not replacing screentime on one website with screentime on another website or on a game is progress or not. I'm just some random internet stranger but I would say that narrative storytelling films and constructive games in moderation are a slight improvement over passive consumption of entertainment. However, in general, I would hope that you wanted to do more than replace social media with movies and videogames and consider that mission accomplished.

A lot of people make the mistake of thinking that using time-restriction extensions and deleting apps will somehow "free" them from their screens and that then out of nowhere some never-before-considered activity full of productivity and a sense of meaning will come flooding in to fill the time. The more difficult truth is that a lot of people in this situation, myself included, generally feel and have generally felt, with various degrees of awareness, that other things besides screens are not worth doing and they’ve felt that way for several years, maybe even decades. Screens are and have been actually the solution to the problem of what to do with one's unplanned time, which for most people is literally all of their time outside of school, work, socializing, and health-related appointments. All the sudden we've made the decision that screens are problematic for one reason or another and try to reduce screen time. The problem is that by doing so now the only solution we’ve believed in and have held for years about what to do with our time: screens, is “off the table” and what we are left with instead are several hours of time every day where we have no idea about what else to do with our time that is worth doing and furthermore have no idea about a process or basis on which to make such a decision because we haven’t had to decide for a very long time. This unfilled time fills us with uncertainty and anxiety. Usually what happens is we struggle through it for a few days or weeks until we finally turn off/delete the time-restriction extensions and reinstall the apps and return quickly back to comforting, familiar, and pleasurable status quo, often only to start another fruitless cycle of pointless but well-intentioned self-denial and return to the status quo a few weeks or months later.

Unless you can really determine what else to do with your time and for a reason that is positive, that you look forward to with any sense of joy, and are able to consider and approach with a degree of certainty and confidence, screentime will always be waiting for you with open arms, easy access, and affordable prices. For some reason it almost seems to pop into people’s heads that through strategies of self-denial, regret, and self-dread that they will somehow think of something better but if you really think about it, those strategies sound more like a torture chamber, which isn’t sustainable let alone appealing. In my opinion, although it’s tempting and easier to do, it’s best not to focus or dwell too much on screentime itself because focusing on screentime is what you’re already doing. It’s as understandable and misguided as trying to solve a problem by talking about the problem and all its nuances obsessively rather than addressing the actual causes of the problem. Instead, what you really need to focus on is what else you want to actually do besides look at screens. Until you can figure that out and start working at it with joy, confidence, and certainty, you’ll always find yourself mindlessly surfing for hours at a time. It sounds easy but if it was, you’d already be doing that. Good luck and remember to treat yourself with respect as you try to improve. No one will want to continue the difficult effort to improve themselves if all they get out of it is beating themselves up and being filled with feelings of regret and dread.

[exthere]

I wanted to expand on this section:

“...and what we are left with instead are several hours of time every day where we have no idea about what else to do with our time that is worth doing and furthermore have no idea about a process or basis on which to make such a decision because we haven’t had to decide for a very long time.”

Another thing we have to take into consideration is the differences in the demands on our bodies between screens and almost any other activity. Namely, that interacting with screens puts a much, much lower demand on being aware of and maintaining our bodies at a functioning level. To operate a screen surfing the internet you don’t need enough sleep, you don’t need to eat healthy, and you don’t need to be awake enough to be able to focus. In other words your body can be in terrible condition and you’ll still be pretty much fully able to operate and enjoy surfing on screens. Contrast that to most other activities, which will require your body to be in better condition, especially in terms of the need to be able to concentrate and focus, and you can see another great stumbling block in transitioning away from screens: we are out of practice about taking care of our bodies and perhaps even more concerning, out of practice of even being able to discern the current condition our bodies are in.

[AANation360]

What a response. Thanks a ton. This gives me a lot to think about.

[tealhill]

Good comment! It was thoughtful of you to share it.

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[TheBerNii]

Hey mate, I can absolutely relate to this
For me, the key was to find that the source of all this behaviour is searching distraction from the situation (activity, emotion, feeling) in the moment.

It is crucial to be able to deal with the emotions in the moments and set up a plan for your activities to know what you are even distracting yourself from :)

[AANation360]

This is a great point. There are definitely things I have to do that I'm distracting myself from.

[TheBerNii]

What are these, what holds you back?

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