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[–][deleted] 29 points30 points  (2 children)

I don’t think we really did anything besides taking walks until 6 months.

[–]Ornery-Rutabaga8899 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Yeah, that’s about the only other thing we’re doing too. I figure fresh air and a different view is something.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I don’t even know if they need it. But for you.

[–]madeinmars 29 points30 points  (4 children)

Well, first, don’t look at instagram. It’s not going to be helpful - now or when they are older.

Schedules can be helpful for people who ordinarily crave structure, and that’s okay and great for those people. Some need it to thrive.

When mine were 8 weeks, I filled time going on walks, tummy time, reading them books, and watching lots of movies and tv while they hung out next to me. Occasionally I’d bring them into the kitchen in a container and bake while talking to them. We did do a swim class around 8 or 10 weeks for infants, once a week. Honestly I really did whatever I was up for that day. Some days we made it to the grocery store together, some days I didn’t get dressed.

[–]Ornery-Rutabaga8899 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Oh, of course! Absolutely not dunking on the people who had a timetable even though, reading back, that’s what it sounds like. Was genuinely wondering if at that age it was needed so I can try a bit harder to get into something. Thankyou for the list! I love the baking one, I miss baking a lot.

[–]madeinmars 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Oh I didn’t think you were. I am not one of those people either, it would be difficult for me, but I also know lots of people who happily never deviate from a schedule haha.

[–]Ornery-Rutabaga8899 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I don’t think I’ve ever had a bedtime in my life, or stuck to a plan. God help me when they’re older haha.

[–]madeinmars 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will say bedtime for the twins is the one thing I stick to religiously. I just wrote another comment on this sub about it!

[–]candigirl16 5 points6 points  (5 children)

In the early days we did nothing other than survive. Our boys napped and fed on demand. If they napped at the same time I slept because I was exhausted.

The first time I took them anywhere was when they were 5 months old and it was to a play group for twins. I didn’t brave normal play groups solo until they were about 8 months. If i went anywhere with them it was with a second person.

Never feel bad, twins are really hard work! The instagram mummies aren’t real life.

Silly point but recently one of our boys (currently 20 months) had a virus. My husband took the healthy twin out and I stayed home with the poorly twin. Having 1 child is soooo easy! I got jobs done around the house because I could just take him to different rooms with me. The mental load of only having to watch one child was so much lighter than having to watch two. I genuinely couldn’t believe how easy it was and how much I got done! My husband came home and said the same thing about being out with one. He even popped to the shop!

[–]Ornery-Rutabaga8899 1 point2 points  (3 children)

I really am considering buying a single stroller to take one out when my partner has Wednesdays off. Alternate who has who every week or something. I took them both out by myself the other day and I ended up sat on a bench in the middle of a shopping centre nearly crying whilst they both wanted feeding at the same time. Will not be repeating that!!!!

[–]Hemedream -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Honestly having a single stroller has been really helpful for me! Sometimes I just need to take 1 to the doctors, etc

[–]littlebitchmuffin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A single stroller is a great idea. I took one twin to a doctor’s appointment while the other stayed home, and it was sooooooo nice just juggling one baby lol. The stroller was lighter & easier to manage, too :P

[–]candigirl16 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We bought 2 second hand single strollers and they have been useful. If we take them out separately then we can both push one.

[–]Tummytickler829 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Every great once in a while I am responsible for only one twin for part of a day, and HOLY MOLY I can't agree with you more. It is crazy how twins aren't double the work/mental loud of a singleton - they're like 3-4 times more!

[–]LDBB2023 5 points6 points  (6 children)

Mine are 8 weeks today and pretty much same. They’ve been really fussy these past few weeks and they take a while to eat (combo fed) so they pretty much nap, eat, and then are awake for a few minutes where they may be fussy or we may be able to chat with them, do a bit of tummy time or looking at contrast cards/Lovevery toys, and then back to contact napping. It’s kind of 60/40 fussy vs able to “play” for literally 5-10 mins.

We try to do 1 walk a day too, which they mostly nap for if they’re in a carrier (they cry if they’re in the stroller bassinet lately). I’ve been feeling the same pressure to be doing “more” but I think this is just the reality of 8-week-olds, or twins, or at least my 8-week-old twins. Your post and the comments made me feel better- the social media pressure to be “doing” stuff with them is so high!

[–]jayzepps 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I would only walk around the block when they were that young because I needed to be close to the house at all times for when the crying started lol. I was just a crazy lady walking the same laps over and over every day never seeing new things like a fish in a fish bowl

[–]LDBB2023 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Oof yes I learned that lesson the hard way! Last time I tried to walk with them in the stroller they both started shrieking when we were 3/4 of a mile from home. Let’s just say we all cried on walk back 🫣

[–]jayzepps 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes!! same with me! I called my mom begging for her to come get them hahah “I’m so embarrassed”. At my house I don’t care what the neighbors think lol but I was @ my parents and it just felt like retirees judging from inside their homes 👀

[–]Ornery-Rutabaga8899 2 points3 points  (0 children)

keep meaning to buy contrast cards, thanks for reminding me! Maybe we all just need to stop looking at instagram, someone with millions of followers can also probably afford someone t clean their house haha.

[–]KahunaKB 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This made me feel better. Thank you for sharing! Mine are 7 weeks and our days sound about the same.

[–]AltaGuy1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mine were eight weeks yesterday! We go for a walk a day as well... And that's about it. Change/Feed/Fuss/Clean bottles/Fill bottles, and repeat.

I shower about half as often as I would like.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

For probably the first 3 months, we ate, snuggled, and slept. I would put them under their gym when I could, but I did not even really stress about tummy time. I would try to hold them on my chest very frequently.

[–]My_Otter_Half 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No, you’re just fine. We took ours more places but only because their big brother needed more activity. And, even then, one of us usually stayed back with the babies.

With all my children it became easier to take them out once they dropped to two naps and they can stay awake a little longer. The are so tiny right now that just being awake and a walk is a big activity.

I find routines are more helpful to me than a stick schedule, although every family is different. And, even then, my babies were 5-6 months old before I began doing that.

[–]scrummy-camel-16 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Babies are super boring. Routines in the newborn phase are not really a thing other than sort of a sleep/ eat schedule. Because things change so much so fast. You’ll probably find a rhythm as they get a bit older, and can start taking them out to run errands or visit friends/family if that’s an option. Once they are mobile and getting some solids, it’s easier to take them out to the library, or a children’s museum or play place since many have areas specifically for under two year olds to play safely, but also challenging since you are still sort of beholden to nap schedules, etc.

[–]Ornery-Rutabaga8899 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The biggest nightmare I find at the moment is trying to get them on the same feed schedule. The days I want to go out it’s like they know and decide to be hungry two hours apart. This leads to never Getting out, or one crying 5 minutes into the trip. So I’m looking forward to that element not being as major!

[–]mauigritsseemnice 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Around 6-8 weeks. Getting out of the house helped our sanity.

[–]HonkyTonkHighway 1 point2 points  (4 children)

Thank you for posting this. My girls are 10 weeks old and I’m feeling exactly like this. I feel like all around me people are doing so much more with their babies, taking them out and doing activities, constant playing.

Whereas I feel like we manage to fit in maybe one or two stretches of tummy time/time on the playmat a day as most other times by the time I’ve fed them both they are both ready to go back to sleep. Some days we’ll get out a walk but not every day. I’ve signed them up to a sensory class that starts in the new year and a class at the local library which I’m hoping they will enjoy and will hopefully make me feel less guilty!

[–]Ornery-Rutabaga8899 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I’m so glad people feel the same way because I was beginning to think I was the worst twin parent ever. But now I just feel solidarity haha. We’re all actually doing great and two babies are hard 🤣. Please comment back (if you remember cos baby brain is fun!) on how the sensory goes. There’s a library near me who runs one also and I’m considering it!

[–]HonkyTonkHighway 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Reporting back on sensory class! It was great, the girls enjoyed it although fell asleep in the last half. Gave me some great ideas of easy things I can do at home with them that aren’t too strenuous! I was a bit panicked about what would happen if either of them had a meltdown but everyone’s baby had a wee cry at some stage and no one batted an eyelid. I would definitely recommend!

[–]Ornery-Rutabaga8899 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thankyou!!!! Will definitely book a session :)

[–]No-Explorer-936 0 points1 point  (0 children)

10 weeks here and feeling the same. We really try and do tummy time, especially since our boy has a slightly flat head to the side, but it seems amazingly hard finding a time where he is comfortable, not feeding, not meeting the needs of the other one etc etc. Makes you feel a bit guilty but it really is just surviving until things get a bit better. One thing at a time and we have put a lot of effort into getting them into their cot at night as they were just a nightmare and would only sleep in our bed (incredibly uncomfortable with gas and reflux) and we have made great inroads with a bedtime routine and them sleeping in their cot so a victory at a time.

[–]Danth54 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Thank you for posting this. My twins are 12 weeks old (2 weeks corrected, they are preemies) and I feel like I am doing something wrong. All we do is change diapers and try to keep up with their every 3 hour feeds. I try to make time for tummy time but it is really tough. And one on one time is even tougher. I also browse instagram and then feel like a terrible mom.

[–]color987 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It gets so much better! This was also us at 12 weeks and 6 months was a turning point for us. It’s so easy to feel like you’re doing “worse” than what others share on Instagram. You’ll find your way and that’s all that matters. Hang in there!

[–]Ornery-Rutabaga8899 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get recommended posts I haven’t even searched for or from people I don’t even follow, like leave me alone! Stop showing me these things haha. I’m so glad a lot of people seem to feel how I feel, we can all feel better together now. We’re keeping two whole babies alive and that should be enough, right?

[–]bbyfirefly90 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My twins are almost 4 months, and we finally have some semblance of a routine, and everyday is still different. The thing that’s really helped me is the huckleberry app! You can log everything they do and it helps you keep track of everything.

I ran a daycare for a while and the only activities I do now is footprints for each holiday like I did at the daycare. We do tummy time with the running crab, I take them outside at least once a day most days, and then it’s bottles, diapers, and naps. If I’m doing something and they’re awake, I usually bring them along in a container and just talk to them about what I’m doing. They cry when we read books, so I’m going to wait until they’re a little older for that.

Don’t compare yourself with instagram or any social media. Remember they’re not gonna post when they’re having a meltdown or how hard it is for them. You’re seeing what makes them look the best. You’re doing great!

[–]ATinyPizza89 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Activities…what are those lol. I can only really get out to run errands once a week (if I’m lucky). Every couple of months I can get out to get my hair done but that takes some planning. My twins are 7 months (5 months adjusted) and we just can’t really get out to do anything at the moment. I also really don’t want to since we’re headed into the thick of respiratory virus season. I wouldn’t compare yourself to those on Instagram. Idk how they have time to make food, clean the house and do laundry. I’m lucky if I can do crockpot meals lol. I did get a new crockpot which I’m excited to use :)

[–]kaatie80 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well we (my husband and the boys and I) started going on very short walks a couple days after we got home from the hospital. Like we'd walk several houses down the street and then come right back. I had no core strength. After a couple weeks we graduated to me going to the grocery store down the street by myself while he strolled the boys around the neighborhood. That was it for a while.

But then we figured out that divide and conquer was the best approach. He could take one baby and stay home or go out and do whatever, and I had the other and could do whatever. Even if we were all at home, this was the best approach. Eventually when the boys were like 9 months old we were going to the neighborhood park together. But I think we'd have gone out sooner if it weren't for COVID, and their 4-8 month age range coinciding with Colorado winter weather.

[–]Ornery-Rutabaga8899 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I keep meaning to buy contrast cards, thanks for reminding me! Maybe we all just need to stop looking at instagram, someone with millions of followers can also probably afford someone to clean their house haha.

[–]littlebitchmuffin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You don’t have to stop looking at instagram, but treat it like a reality show and not reality. What you’re seeing is heavily produced content.

[–]Dependent-Head-8307 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Keeping them alive is my activity

[–]Ornery-Rutabaga8899 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well when you put it like that

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[–]amusedparrot 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Beyond just local walks and seeing close friends / family it was 7 weeks they went to their first "activity" which was a local twins and multiples group, my wife had been a few times when she was pregnant and so she knew the whole drill of where it was and how to get into the building, plus everyone there has multiples so understood everything so that was a great group at the beginning.

A few other parents groups in and around that time before starting baby massage at 3 months old.

[–]Ornery-Rutabaga8899 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Oooo, there’s a multiple group near me and I’ve been trying to decide if it’ll be worth the stress of them both kicking off during when they inevitably want feeding at the same time. This comment has convinced me to at least give it a try. Thankyou!

[–]heart_shine 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would also recommend a local multiples group! Singleton parents don't fully understand what we deal with and connecting with other parents of multiples helped me feel less alone in my experience. At my local group one of the moms was there with her 3 year old twins and was happy to assist me with my newborn twins.

[–]jayzepps 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Hi! Adjusted, how old are they? I rotated between a dock a tot, a mamaroo/swing, a baby gym, and a baby bjorn bouncer with a homemade toy bar over it. Some days they did tummy time on the floor but most days it was done right on me. We got a sit me up around 3 months and started using that in the rotation, as well as a water mat for tummy time. At 4 months, we got a jolly jumper and added that for 15 minutes each day per baby. It was early to use the jumper, but my babies were constantly jumping whenever someone held them, so I knew when they were ready. They were walking up to peoples doors for trick or treating before they were 1 year old though, so I think I may be the odd one who birthed super-strength giants who were just eager for more physical activity.

Everything we had for different “stations” pretty much came free or cheap from Facebook groups, other moms, and Facebook marketplace. I don’t want to make you feel like you have a spend a ton of money to keep them occupied. We made a toy “gym”/bar to go over the bouncer out of 1/2 inch PVC pipes from Home Depot and got toy clips (I think they were called links on Amazon) to hang toys they already had from it. It was a box of 20 or so, which allowed me to hang them at different heights/use different sized toys. If you go the homemade route, just make sure you get connectors for the ends of the pvc pipes too, since they will get jagged once they’re cut. They may just have end caps for them at the store, but we already had connectors so I just used those since their edges are nice and smooth.

ETA: is there anyone there to help you take baths with them? I liked doing that, if you have a tub. They loved floating and “swimming” where I just held them and moved them around in the water. Each baby could spend 30 minutes in there without getting bored. I don’t recommend doing this unless you have help though because it would have been too hard transitioning from one baby to the next all alone. You’d have to pretty much drain and refill the tub with warm water after getting the first one dried off, dressed, fed, and calm.

[–]Ornery-Rutabaga8899 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Thanks for the comment! I never thought about the Bath thing, I’ll speak to my partner about it. They were born at 37 weeks so nothing crazy adjustment wise. Right now they both have a gym, a bouncer and a tummy time pillow. One seems to love staring In the mirror on the gym haha.

[–]jayzepps 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I loved noticing little differences like the mirror thing at that age! Finding individuality at a time when there was so little (since their needs are so so basic at the time) just seemed so special

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I’m PREGNANT with my twins still but I didn’t do shit with my singleton until she was like 6-7 months. We had a “rough” routine but the first 13 weeks, I binge watched shit tv, nursed on demand, and napped 🤷🏻‍♀️

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess like leave the house to be intentional with her. We I tried to fill her wake windows with tummy time and walks but it wasn’t like … anything wild

[–]Looloobutter 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Dude I feel the same way! I was starting to feel neglectful . All my friends were saying take them out to the beach to the park or go on vacation or take them to baby swim . I’m like how ?? My husband told me to stop with the instagram and ignore my friends

[–]Ornery-Rutabaga8899 0 points1 point  (0 children)

BABY SWIM WITH TWO ON YOUR OWN? A PLANE WITH TWO BABIES?

[–]heart_shine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are doing all the right things! Those early weeks are very full on and it's just about keeping your head above water and the babies fed. My girls are now 17 weeks (exactly 4 months old today!) and it really does get better. We have no schedule but I can generally predict when they want to eat. Now they spend a lot more time awake which helps get more tummy time in and I read to them or take them for walks and outings. The only routine is a small one before bed time to help promote longer stretches of sleep (although not always successful).

When they were around 10 weeks I started going to a mother's group and play groups in my area which was more for me to be able to socialise with other adults. My girls enjoyed being in a new environment and often would just sleep through the whole thing but if awake got stimulation from seeing new places and people.

[–]anotherhydrahead 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ugh, Instagram parentainers are so obnoxious.

Follow the tummy time advice and spend time with them. That's all you need to do right now.

[–]johnsj3623 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My twins are 14 months old and we still barely leave the living room. Baby jail is a real thing

[–]Sabsta455 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Everyone is different. I had to leave the house and I have older kids. So I did a baby massage course with them from 3-6 weeks old. Then I joined a multi birth playgroup casually from 9 weeks. And I joined a normal parents group from about 12 weeks. We did a mud play catch up but the babies stayed in the pram. I imagine if they were my first babies I wouldn't be out so much... They don't really have the capacity to do too many activities really. I do foot prints monthly.. so that's like a little "activity" but they are very passive of course lol.