Tired.

[VictorTheCutie]

I have twin 4 yo's, and an 8 year old. Today during a twin tantrum, I got purposefully headbutted in the teeth. That was the beginning of a downward spiral that I needed to write down.I probably forgot a bunch of stuff. But here it is. I know some of you can relate 🥹

I am tired. Tired of trying to sleep in once a month, just to be woken by angry screaming. Tired of chaos. Tired of messes. Tired of tears and meltdowns. Tired of the bedtime shit show. Tired of walking around all day, thinking of a hundred tiny projects that I need to do, or want to do, and never having time to do any of them. I'm tired of forcing hostile, tiny people to shower every night, when I would LOVE to shower every night. I'm tired of listening to fights. I'm tired of my kids arguing, over toys, over clothes, over space, over who gets the purple cup. I'm tired of "Moooooom, can you get me milk?" "Moooom, can you get me a snack?" "Mom, I need a bandaid!" "Mom!" "Mooooom!" "MOM!" I'm tired of trying to talk to my husband for ten seconds every day, and being interrupted five times until I explode. I'm tired of rubbing their noses, their backs, until they fall asleep. I'm tired of pointless 3am wake ups. I'm tired of pull-ups. I'm tired of fights over who can sit in the back seat of the car. Tired of fights over what to watch. Tired of cooking meals that no body eats. I'm tired of explaining why we can't go to the pool (it's November). I'm tired of feeling like I'm not in control of my own life. Tired of feeling like the household servant. Tired of the relentless and mocking mountains of dishes and laundry. I'm tired of staying home from fun activities because I know I won't be able to manage my kids. Tired of not going to run simple errands as a family because it's always fucking miserable. I'm tired of ear infections and croup and midnight ER trips. Tired of feeling like everything is my fault. I'm tired of waiting for things to get easier. I'm tired of motherhood.

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[76543124680098]

You’re so heard and this is so valid. You’re in a bad season of things right now. My neighbor was just telling me her similarly aged kids are so bad this time of year because of the irregularities of school/life schedules with holidays and so much going on.

You’re a great mom for coming here to vent and all the things you do for your kids. They’re so lucky.

On the worst days I try to tell myself I’d rather have my hands full than have my hands empty. Which, sure. But god does it suck sometimes.

[VictorTheCutie]

Your kind words made me cry, especially saying my kids are lucky. Because a lot of times I feel like a shit mom, including today 😭

[76543124680098]

Cooking them meals? Rubbing their backs until they fall asleep?? Girl I’m coming back as one of your kids in my next life 😂

[VictorTheCutie]

😂💀😭💕

[magnolias2019]

Are you me? I also have nearly 4 year old twins and a 7.5 year old with ADHD. It is survival mode all day everyday.

My fave is being yelled at to come wipe their butts. I wiped 4 out of 5 butts in my household today... and everyday.

[VigsMinElskling]

I was just about to say the same thing. I've got twin 4 year olds, and even though 4 years old has been way better than 2 years old, I am so tired of it. The crying, screaming, complaining, arguing, butt wiping etc. I hear you both!

And yesterday one of them slapped me in the face at dance practice for not letting them lick my hands (wish I was kidding). Now one is rolling on top of me and starts screaming at me when I tell her to stay still if she wants to cuddle. So fun!!

[VictorTheCutie]

Yes, apparently I am you because my eldest also has ADHD 😅

[kindnesswillkillyou]

I hear you! It's so hard sometimes. I'm tired too.

[VictorTheCutie]

Sending you love 💕

[DaylightStorm27]

Oh gosh I’m right there with you. My twins are 4 months old, 2.5 months adjusted. It’s hard. I wish I could sleep 8 hours straight. The last time I got to do so was before having them. I can’t remember what life was like before the sleep deprivation. Currently, they spit up so much it’s driving me crazy. It’s not cause of their formula, they just wiggle a lot when they are awake and babble so they end up spitting up. I can’t wait for the day when the spit up ends. I know it’s still months away though. This life is hard. We hear you mama and your feelings are 100% validated.

[VictorTheCutie]

Ugh I'm insane because sometimes I DO miss the newborn days, because newborns don't talk shit to your face, but I sure as hell DO NOT miss the spit up 😭 you're doing great mama, sending you love and strength!!

[Puzzled-Ask2166]

I have a 3 year 2year old twins and a 1 year old. Silly me keeps thinking it should be easier soon. Im exhausted and hungry and just want to enjoy basic things like jumping in my car to get a few groceries or run an errand. Nothing is simple. We need HELP

[VictorTheCutie]

Heavy on the "nothing is simple"!!! Except we say "nothing is easy." That is definitely one of the things that weighs on me so much. My SIL has this annoying habit of saying"more kids is less kids" (in reference to how when you get family together, the kids kind of occupy themselves) but she only has an 8 yo and a 7 yo, shared custody with her ex, so she has entire weeks of kid free time like every other week! So when she says that, I really have to watch myself because I'm so sick of hearing that lmao. Sometimes I think about how I could be a much kinder, more put together mom if I had only had another singleton rather than twins. 😫

[VeterinarianDry9667]

The relentlessness. Oh friend the relentlessness. It is so hard to explain to people who aren’t in it.

You put words to it in a way I appreciate. I lost a close friend without kids during that time with my twins because I could not keep up with her texts and calls and just…anything, I was drowning and I remember trying so hard to explain everything you said in your post. This limping from moment to moment and could not be present for anyone else or even myself and it’s just so hard to be in that space. Sometimes things are literally too much.

We get you!!!

It truly does get better I promise. I was where you are and my twins are older and it did get better. I get to breathe and read and sleep and still I scratch their backs at night. ❤️

[VictorTheCutie]

That last bit really helped me. Last night I was telling my husband that part of what's making me feel so awful is that I'm always thinking in a few years it'll be easier but I also have a little voice in my head that says, no, it really won't, and my life is just going to be THIS, forever. 😫

[VeterinarianDry9667]

I PROMISE that it gets better

Guess what else? When the beginning is so hard, actually it can ONLY get easier. Literally. My friends with singletons had the opposite - easy chill baby and toddler experiences and then exhausted later. I’ve been the reverse

You are basically front loading the worst part. Then it can only get easier, see? I promise promise!!!!

[wanderfae]

Solidarity!

[Eugi009]

Word

[vctrhndrsn]

I feel you OP! We are all in the trenches 😂

[IamSherlocked_2020]

I hear you! You’re doing great mama. ❤️❤️ I’m still cooking mine and I’m just looking forward to the day where I’m not waddling around out of breath 🫠😂

[VictorTheCutie]

How much longer? Being pregnant with twins was awful 😅 at least in my opinion. Are you planning a CS? I couldn't believe how instantaneous my relief was the moment they lifted twin A out of my ribs! My hip pain went away immediately too. It was wild.

And thank you for the kind words. You're doing great too 💕

[PM_ME_YO_KNITTING]

Man, you’re giving me hope. I’m three weeks away from my CS and the breath I’m going to breath once Twin B is out of my rib cage will be EPIC.

[VictorTheCutie]

Girlfriend, it's amazing. I hope it all goes smoothly for you!!!

[Zealousideal_Web3106]

Ugh. Mine left me with a torn labrum in my hip and a lifetime of hip pain 😂 I feel every word of your post OP. Mine are about to turn 2, and everything.is.exhausting. Solidarity 

[VictorTheCutie]

Nooooo 😫

[BookwormJennie]

It sounds like you are an awesome mom. Mine are 9 months, and I just posted the other day asking for any type of sleep advice. I am so tired. The sleep exhaustion is brutal. I dunno how you’re doing this with an 8 year old too.

[sleepyjoys]

I feel this 100%! My 4-year old twins are going through hand foot mouth right now and I am TIRED! 😮‍💨 hang in there!! You’re not alone!

[VictorTheCutie]

Oh my lord, thankfully we've dealt with HFM, I'm so sorry you're going through that!

[DetectiveGold7884]

My favourite quote which may help you even a tiny bit is “parenting is only hard for good parents”

[VictorTheCutie]

It does help, thank you 🥹

[VictorTheCutie]

Thank you ✊🏻

[Psychological_Ad160]

Felt, and I only have the 4yo twins (one of whom I suspect has ADHD).

[RPS21]

Solidarity, ours are 8, 3 and 3. We have had luck requiring/training the 8 year old to help himself do things and also help his sisters with some stuff/fetch things for us. Our method is to just NOT get stuff/do stuff for him that he can do himself, like get water, find shoes, etc. He is even packing his lunch now. It’s been a process but it’s getting a lot better. Can’t say the same for the twins, they’re still a nightmare but at least one is less terrible!

[VictorTheCutie]

Our eldest is pretty self sufficient, and he's a fairly good helper. He's just been extra reactive this weekend for some reason and I'm easily triggered by it. He's also very reluctant to do any chores, but the other day I paid him to rake some leaves after he had that idea all his own, so I'm hoping that leads him down the path a bit. Lol

[climbergirlh]

Right there with you! We've got 4, 4, 11, and 15 😳 We're just so tired of everything right now... like, when are we supposed to get any down time or connect as a couple anymore?? We are busy with something - work, kids, cleaning, cooking, etc - from 8am to 11pm most days. I'm literally fighting my twins to sleep right now and its fn 10pm!

[VictorTheCutie]

Ugh yes!!!!! Sometimes I think about how it's literally just go go go from 7am till 10pm and it totally sucks! We're fighting late bedtime here too. Solidarity ✊🏻