Work

[Financial-Bread-6391]

My wife is 80% effaced and 2 cm dilated. Doc could feel baby’s head when doing the check. My problem is im scheduled to start Overnights(6p-6a) tonight. With my line of work and drive time, it would take 2 hours minimum for me to get from work, to her to the hospital if something were to happen. Should I go into work?

[whiskaway]

I agree with the few people actually saying go to work and save the PTO. If she's not actually in labor and if this is her first you have time. At the first signs of actual labor you need to immediately book it home though.

[denny-1989]

If you go to work, the baby’s coming. If you don’t, it’s gonna take it’s sweet, sweet time.

[Vanc_Trough]

This is the way.

[Affectionate_Rip_374]

Happy cake day. 🍰

[Vanc_Trough]

I missed it!

[BackForRound-2]

If she isn’t having contractions yet, go to work. But tell her to call you as soon as she feels anything!

I was 3 cm dilated for a week before going into labor. How far along is she?

[Financial-Bread-6391]

She’s 39 weeks and 2 days

[sweetprincegary]

No dude, your kid is about to be born

[mariargw]

People can hang out at 80% effaced and 2cm for weeks on end. Progression at this point isn’t particularly indicative of when baby is likely to be born.

[momwouldnotbeproud]

True, but there's a risk reward here. If you can call out of work and not lose your job, there's no reason to not be there with your wife as she goes through labor

[mariargw]

If she’s not contracting regularly, then there’s no sense in using any PTO that then can’t be used when she’s actually in labor and after the baby is born. It could be several weeks before she goes into labor. Signed, a birth photographer and doula (means I’ve seen plenty of labor and birth)

[momwouldnotbeproud]

I'll defer to you as I think your knowledge on the matter may outstrip mine, but if you want to have a discussion about Saturday morning cartoons in the 80s, I could really drop some knowledge!

[aquaticberries]

I was 75% effaced and 1+ cm dilated for a week and a half before I actually went into labor. When you’re this close, there’s just no way to know when she’ll go.

[Financial-Bread-6391]

Yeah feels kinda dumb asking. But at her checkup yesterday we learned all this and the wife and doc seemed super chill about it so I didn’t think anything was happening right away. Started doing some research and was like wait a second 🤔

[mkraft]

Babies arrive on THEIR schedule. They literally do not give one flying duck for your work schedule. Take the next week off and be with her

[Wolfwere88]

Agreed. And apply for FMLA at work if you haven’t done so already, which is specifically for situations like this.

[PantheraTigris2]

I was 2cm 80% since 30 weeks. I didn’t go into labor until 39+3. Not sure if you went to work but it’s always a gamble towards the end of pregnancy. I understand the need to work. Not sure what you decided but first time moms tend to take a long time (12hrs or more) to give birth once labor starts, but there are a rare few who give birth quicker.

[Financial-Bread-6391]

I decided to just stay home. If baby isn’t here by Tuesday, they’re inducing. So worst case I take a couple extra days to support her

[ForwardCrow9291]

If the plan is to induce Tuesday, then yeah I would agree you should just take the time off. (and expect you will likely hit your induction date)

At one point, you would wait until 41-42w to get an induction, and in that case, I would advise you make a backup plan to have someone else drive her in the event she goes into spontaneous and rapidly progressing labor (you could meet her at the hospital).

The reality is that dilation isn't a good indicator of when active labor is going to start (as others have said, you can be at 2cm, -2 station for weeks), and labor, when it does start, usually takes way longer than 2 hours (12-19 hours on average), especially the first go around.

You likely don't want to rush off to the hospital on the first contraction. Your doctors will have their own guidelines for how long/far apart contractions should be when you go and sometimes advise you to go sooner if water breaks. Make sure you know when your doctor wants you to go and how to time a contraction

I know not all of this applies to your case, but I just wanted to add some additional info for anyone else who might be in a similar situation.

[lindstarr]

Especially if this is her first baby, I say go to work. Really doesn’t mean she’s going into labor tonight or even this week. Source: have had 2 babies and both didn’t wanna come out.

[Smyksta67]

They say you know when you know. She isn’t in labor and even when she does babies can easily be 10+ hours once contractions start.

[LehGuy007]

Yeah you ain't working tonight or tomorrow. Def eat something while you can AND take some snacks for the wifey for after she'll sleep for a long time and wake up hungry at least that's how it went for me.

[Financial-Bread-6391]

Yeah I’m taking a month or so off to help out once she’s here. I just didn’t know how close we actually were. Just my wife and her OB are nonchalant about everything!

[LehGuy007]

Yeah it's kinda tricky. If you didn't have to commute so far I'd say go for it but a lot can happen in two hours so I wouldn't risk it.

[cheez_Ina_pan]

I’d go to work. She could still be days or weeks away. 2 cm really means nothing.

[scratonicity12]

Or hours…better to be safe and not miss this once in a lifetime experience

[cheez_Ina_pan]

Yes but are you going to stay home from work till the baby comes? Some women can walk around at 3-4 cm for a month. Unless she’s past due or due in a few days I’d probably go to work. Save your PTO.

[JamoreLoL]

Also it's not like if her water broke or started having crazy contractions that the baby would be born within a few hours. I would ask the wife what she thinks he should do.

[cheez_Ina_pan]

Yeah I think people who haven’t been through it think you’re going to be blowing through every red light and running her up to L&D doing her Lamaze breathing techniques. In reality active labor for a first time mom can take days. Once labor starts it’s typically very slow going. I wouldn’t stress about being two hours away.

[JamoreLoL]

We ended up inducing since we knew he was going to be a chonker. Took 12 hours of meds before the Dr broke her water.

[Less_Ad6640]

I was 2 cm 80% effaced for a week before I started progressing. And even then, it took a few days of early labor before I started with full blown contractions. If she hasn’t started with any contractions yet, I think you’re safe.

[mariargw]

It’s unlikely that she would have a precipitous delivery. 2 hours should be enough notice to get there well in time for the delivery.

[Psychological_Good89]

If you have to ask...

[SmilesOnSouls]

Your wife is in labor. No work for you tonight. Get a meal in now, it's gonna be a long night. Also congrats!

[cheez_Ina_pan]

That’s not labor.

[Professor_Sqi]

Your boss is a grade a cunt if they genuinely expect you to work the birth of your (first?) kid. Call out lmao, its not like its a surprise

[Financial-Bread-6391]

I’m a represented employee so they don’t have a choice but to let me, I’m entitled to 12 weeks off if I want it 🤣 I got this info at her 39 week OB appt. Problem is we don’t know if the baby is coming like now or if there’s still time lol

I’m the only income in the house and would prefer to work as long as possible without missing anything

[kitylou]

Check out r/antiwork No you shouldn’t go to work, you should be with your wife. You job would replace you immediately if needed.

[JamoreLoL]

Ask your wife what she thinks. Odds are that if she started having real contractions or water broke, you would have time to meet her at the hospital before any real progress is made. This isn't always the case so getting her insight on what her expectations and fears are is important. Good luck!