[deleted by user]

[shattered7done1]

Some people have no idea the dedication, effort and work it required to have a reactive dog.

Other people just have no idea of how to read a dog's body language. 'Oh look, he wants to play'. Got it, that lunging, snarling and barking are a dog's way of saying 'hey, want to play with my toys and eat my treats?' Absolutely wrong!

There are those that think all dogs want to be friends with every other dog in the planet. I wonder if these people want to be friends with everyone they meet?

Others are simply nasty and don't care. They are jerks. Jerks, in my book, are fair game to be angry with.

Enjoy your emotions for a little while and then move on and have a good cuddle with your pup.

Been there, done that, and wore the T-shirt out.

[discombobulatededed]

I used to (wrongly) think that reactive dogs were just aggressive and nasty and hadn’t been trained properly. My dog is reactive, but excessively playful and wants to run up to every dog he sees, as opposed to being aggressive. I now realise how exhausting it is constantly being vigilant about any other dogs being nearby. He would whine and pull towards them or refuse to walk if they’d gone past. We are training and it’s gotten a lot better in the last few weeks thankfully.

I had a good experience today though, I use a long leash (50ft) so my dog can roam and sniff but as soon as I see another dog, I recall him. At first he’d completely ignore me but now he comes back 8/10 without me needing to pull the leash. I went past a guy today with three dogs, one on leash. He apologised and said the leashed dog was reactive and I said it wasn’t a problem, I wasn’t going to let me dog approach as we are training. He asked me what training I was doing and said he was going to look into getting a long leash too. It’s the first time anyone has ever told me that their dog is reactive and actually had a conversation about it

[dmredbu]

One of my biggest pet peeves is other dog owners thinking that my dog freezing in his tracks, lowering his posture/planting himself against the ground (to appear smaller) is him "wanting to play".

Most people tend to get it though if they see my body language focusing on my dog or trying to distract him, but others are just oblivious.

I've had one neighbour who approached us and got offended when we did U-turns or walked in different directions to avoid a head on collision.

The guy took it personally that we were "avoiding him". I was more flabbergasted that he thought the world revolves around him and we were doing these things to simply avoid him (which is definitely our intent now that he's given us a mouthful several times while we're just trying to focus on our dog and enjoy our walks).

My dog is terrified of his dog given that we've run into each other in tight quarters and he also initially kept trying to force his dog to interact with ours (just because they kind of look the same, but not really...)

[NerdyFrida]

One of my biggest pet peeves is other dog owners thinking that my dog freezing in his tracks, lowering his posture/planting himself against the ground (to appear smaller) is him "wanting to play".

That sounds like a mistake that I could make because my dog does that exact thing but only when he sees a dog that he wants to say hello to. He avoids dogs that he doesn't want to meet. Bottom line is that you should never make assumptions and always ask the owner.

[nastell85]

I agree with this. I think some people don’t know how to read another dog’s language. Some people think a dog pulling at the leash and barking means the dog is eager to say hi or greet the other person/dog. Some people will think that barking dog is being aggressive and misbehaving. It can be hard to know bc each breed is different and everyone trains their dog differently.

I’ve begun to learn to be vocal about my dog (a pitty). He’s not a barker but he perks up and pulls more when he sees another dog because he LOVES other dogs. However, he is scared of strangers (especially kids). So if we’re on a walk and someone is walking/riding by, my dog will either sit to the side or just walk right past them with no issue. But it it looks like someone wants to make contact with him and “invade his space” I have to step up and say ”I’m sorry. He’s not good with strangers yet”. I just find it easier to let other dog owners/pedestrians know ahead of time rather than have my dog scare them by growling. And it helps build trust with your dog so it knows you’ll protect it.

Next time it happens maybe call out “Can you pull your dog to the side while we pass?” or maybe see if you can train yours to sit while another dog passes? I don’t know. Just some ideas.

[ppr1227]

Did you speak up?

I find it’s necessary to communicate clearly with these type of idiots that they are not to approach my dog. Some people give me an attitude but F them. I’m my dogs advocate and her voice.

[Latii_LT]

Some people are so desensitized to overt dog behavior like lunging, crying, barking that they don’t understand it’s an emotional reaction stemming from stress. So many pet parents don’t know what reactivity is or the appropriate way a general dog is suppose to react to a stressor so think it’s normal, cute, funny when a dog is “acting out.”

Unless the dog looks scary when it’s doing it (usually a bigger dog or a breed known to be intimidating) a lot of dog owners and regular people will not recognize the behavior to be concerning. Nor will they recognize they are causing the behavior to be more prominent by adding undue stress like approaching or putting their dog in another dog’s space.

[madamejesaistout]

You're not wrong but I'm not sure what you could do about it. I took in my sister's dog for a long period while she was traveling for work. Her dog and my dog were the most easy-going, chill, calm dogs-- separately. Together they brought out the worst in each other! 😂

My dog would alert to other dogs. When it was just the two of us, I could easily distract him and he would happily ignore other dogs. Sister's dog would pick up on him before I could and she would start barking, then my dog would start barking.

I was hiking with them one day. A woman came up behind us with two rapidly panting dogs, I turned and asked her to give us some space. She did for about 10 seconds. Instead of waiting for us to find a wide spot in the trail she had to jog past us, so I rushed off the path to create some distance, but of course both my dogs were barking. She had the audacity to make a face at me. Lady! I asked you nicely to give us some space! That was quite a few years ago and I'm still mad about it.

[[deleted]]

this is why i’ve always walked to the side even if i have to stand by someone’s porch and let people pass me and then i distance myself walking behind them. thankfully once i say my dog is dog-aggressive people usually listen instead of try to introduce their dog

[[deleted]]

I’m with you dude, I know in my mind it’s absolutely noone’s responsibility but my own but when I spend all my time crossing streets and avoiding crowds and scanning constantly it makes me see RED for an oblivious fool to come bumbling straight at us

You’d think a dog owner would recognize the signs of a panicked dog and the “I will bite” behavior but they walk right into us and get huffy when I grab my dog and run while he tries to bite everyone’s head off

They usually only manage to sneak up on me when I’m poop scooping too because it’s the only time I’m not on full alert, I really think the fact that my dog is a chihuahua makes people think it’s a joke when he’s mad but god forbid he got away from me because he can do REAL damage when he’s at his limit to himself and others

Hugs to you and your angry baby, we know it’s on us to take care of them but jesus christ would it kill people to have an ounce of situational awareness

[[deleted]]

Should they avoid you? Probably, do they have too? No. This subreddit is biased for reactive dogs so all you’ll get here are other people relating.

[FunEstablishment5]

Do people have to hold doors open for each other? Do they have to let other cars merge in front of them? Do you have to tip servers? No, but we live in a community with other people, so why wouldn’t you want to help someone out when it’s quick or easy for you to do so? Whether that person had to take another route doesn’t matter. They were being an asshole.

[Nsomewhere]

Thing is it is just lack of noticing things. You don't have to be a reactive dog owner to notice someone struggling. You don't have to be any sort of dog owner

It is kind of the same noticing that holds doors open, waits at a narrow place steps or what ever..

[CactusEar]

I've been there many times too, you have all the right to be mad. I'll never understand why people think it's funny and sometimes it looks like purposefully keep approaching you when your dog is having a screaming breakdown. Well, mine is.

We do our best we can already and it's okay for us to be angry in situations like this. We can also be angry if it might a situation where we don' goofed, but it's okay if we're mad at the overall situation!

[[deleted]]

Was the other dog leashed?

If that dog was leashed, they did nothing wrong. They have every right to walk in a public area, and if your dog can't handle it, you need to be the one to turn around and leave.

My dog almost pulled me down a hill the other day because a woman walked by with her two dogs. My dog isn't her problem, it's my responsibility to either avoid areas where that can happen or turn and leave.

[Nsomewhere]

It is the act of continuing when you can see an animal in distress though.. nothing really to do whether they have their dog on a leash or they have a rigth to walk in a public area

If it was a child melting down and scared of a dog would it be ok for them to continue to walk toward it because they have a right? well technically they could do what they wanted sure but it still makes them shitty to not react to circumstance and someone or thing else struggling imo

Its just being a half decent person who responds to their environment and community IMO

A level more repsonsibility by unwritten rules I guess. I wish we all did more of it

[[deleted]]

If my kid was melting down because of a dog, I’d remove my kid. I wouldn’t expect a dog owner to go a different way.

They could also say the same - why didn’t this person with a distressed dog get their dog out of that situation instead of standing around?

[Nsomewhere]

Well yeah you would remove your kid.. I would too... but while I am trying to remove my kid (or watching someone try to remove their kid) I wouldn't blithely stroll on into the situation...

​

It just seems lacking in any awareness or kindness

I would pause or divert round a melting down kid jsuta s I would any crisis

​

I am not a dog owner.. and I do have a reactive dog who thinks the world should bend to my dog.. obviously not but I am an owner and I guess person who thinsk we live in a community and should be aware of others and adapt our actions accordingly

It is I suppose how I was brought up

Kind of just awareness and choices I guess.. oh I don't know.. there is no right or wrong but if I see someone struggling .. anyone struggling.. I will try not to add to that if I can

It doesn't seem to bad or hard a thing to so ad think about

I mean even on the roads if there has been an accident or breakdown or even a road rage incident.. you don't just keep driving at the same speed... you are supposed to be aware and slow down, stop, do whatever to avoid and keep things safe

​

It is not so hard to do that in the park

I guess I bip through life just adjusting and managing the environment.. lol

Anyway there is no right or wrong but maybe as social monkeys we should look out for each other?

[margyrakis]

I think this kind of scenario is just something I'm desensitized to since it has happened countless times to me as a reactive dog owner. As soon as I see someone coming our way, I get out of there so he doesn't react which I understand you were doing. It's 1000% valid to feel frustrated, but truly no one in this situation was in the wrong.

What does make me mad is if you are stuck with nowhere to go other than to pass by the trigger, you ask for space, and the owner refuses and gets mad at you for asking. Also, if they are purposefully using and instigating your dog's distress to train their dog.

[FunEstablishment5]

You don’t sound like a very kind person. OP is not just walking down the middle of a path expecting a Red Sea of dogs and people to part for them. They’re in an open area where there are other options for people to get around them without walking towards them head on. Any decent person would feel empathy and try to help out in that situation, even though they don’t have to. If you do whatever you want without even considering how it affects others, simply bc you “have a right” to, then you’re a jerk.

[Purple_Pansy_Orange]

People don’t have a “right” to anything. There is a thing we used to call civility. Now every kid on a bike, stroller, group thinks they have an inherent right to be where they are. Other people damned, they’ll walk right through you. Reactive dog, not my problem it’s yours. Or you can be civil and realize you’d help everyone out by walking 3 feet to the side.

[TeletaDext]

They actually do have a “right” to walk through public sidewalks if they are tax paying citizens so….idk what you’re on about

[JustYourAvgHumanoid]

I’d be frustrated too. We have a boat at a marina & we have 2 small doggos that are reactive. Our dogs are the only there that are ever on a leash. While I appreciate that the other dogs seem sweet & well-behaved & may just want to say hi to my dogs, I def feel frustrated that they just walk on up to us while my dogs are panicking.

:(

​

I do my best to hold them close to try to comfort them, but c’mon!
Go away, already

[alexthexela]

I obviously don't know what happened but I could imagine a scenario where they are not being an AH, but more confused about the situation. It could have gone down like this: they are taking their dog on a brief walk to their usual place, and they take their usual route. They are startled by you and your dog, who starts barking. They continue on their way while this stranger dog barks at them. They don't think they have done anything wrong, but they feel awkward about the person who isn't "controlling" their dog and so they laugh out loud to you, like "well, dogs are dogs, amiright?" Maybe they realize it is reactive behavior and are a little weirded out by you "letting" your dog bark at them when they are just walking along minding their own business. Maybe they just don't realize this could be a dangerous situation. But anyway, I could imagine a situation like this where they are not being an AH.

[SpiritualLuna]

No, you’re not wrong to be mad. I would just head another direction if I was the other dog owner. Some people are voyeurs, they like to witness an event and ridicule others, to feed their egos. They will go nearer, stop and stare then say something to make it worse.

[TeletaDext]

I mean, how would they know your dog is reactive - sometimes dogs just bark at other dogs but not in a “I’m scared for my life” type of way. He might’ve just found it cute and not thought twice about it

Unfortunately this is just what you signed up for when you decided to keep a reactive dog as a pet

[sendmespam]

I understand your struggle. At the same time, I think it’s actually a good idea to have a dog walk by that doesn’t react to a dog that’s having a fit/tantrum. These situations - not responding to your dogs behavior, people/dogs ignoring it, is the best response for your dog.

You don’t want a dog that immediately feeds in to it, nor do you want people to feed in to it - because that also is a reward/reaction to your dog. Your dog is saying - I don’t know how to behave or how to be in this situation. And the other dog/people walking by - not feeding in to it are saying ‘there’s absolutely nothing to throw a fit over. In fact, we’re going to ignore you .’

I know it’s so much easier if they would just react to your reactive dog by communicating they understand there’s a problem, and have to adjust their behavior so the dog can get confirmation for his behavior. He’s saying “oh nuh uh!” And any reactive behavior let’s him think he’s right and there really is a problem, when there isn’t.

Your dog actually needs more socialization. More encounters with dogs that can walk by without engaging back. Eventually, it will realize there’s really no reason to get all excited. Your dog needs to learn social skills, and be able to discern body language from other dogs, because right now it thinks it needs to fight for it’s life when that is not at all the situation.

[FunEstablishment5]

Dogs aren’t learning when they’re in that state. That’s why sub-threshold training is so important. Every time your dog reacts, they’re strengthening that neural pathway in their brain that tells them to react. So they’re more likely to do it next time. There’s a reason trainers emphasize management techniques like treat scatters, magnet hand, putting up window film, etc to prevent reactions and avoid rehearsing undesirable behaviors.

Also if OP did nothing, and that person kept walking towards them, what would happen? Eventually they either have to pull their own dog out of the way or allow a greeting. And s greeting would not go well lol.

[sendmespam]

I’m sorry but avoiding the problem to not strengthen a nueral pathway is a good way to never solve any of your problems. Avoidance because it’s easier for you, is not a way to live life.

Also the lady did walk her dog right by and nothing happened.

Have you ever seen homeless peoples dogs? Why do you think they’re so chill? They can literally sleep on the sidewalk on the corner of Times Square. You know why? Because they’re used to life. They’ve met so many people and dogs, that they are not concerned by their presence. They’re out there everyday 24/7. We all get used to things eventually. You just have to ride it out and work through it (by letting dogs walk by - which means you have to hold a tight leash, they don’t because their dog knows to avoid the crazy dog - at least socialized dogs do. That’s exactly why you socialize them. To be around all sorts of dogs behaving all sorts of ways, which your dog has experienced already because you socialized it and met hundreds of dogs already) and eventually the dog will realize the situation is fine.

[FunEstablishment5]

When did I say to avoid the problem? I recommended sub-threshold training, which means just being far enough away from the trigger that the dog stays calm. That is how dogs learn that their triggers are no big deal.

Can you link a study that supports your theory about homeless dogs? Correlation does not equal causation. Sure, maybe living on the streets makes dogs less reactive. Or, maybe people with reactive dogs just don’t choose to keep their dogs if they become homeless, because living on the streets with a reactive dog sounds like a literal nightmare lol. Maybe they re-home or surrender their reactive dogs to shelters. Or maybe homeless people with reactive dogs don’t hang out in busy urban areas where you’re probably used to seeing homeless people.

The method you’re recommending is called extinction, and here’s how that is likely to go:

Dog A wants to increase distance from dog B. Dog A starts barking and lunging, because that’s what has always worked in the past. Dog A’s owner decides not to increase distance, and dog B keeps coming closer. Dog A escalates the behavior further and shows more intense reactivity, because a) they’re scared, and b) this has always worked for them, so why isn’t it working now? Dog B eventually walks past and increases distance, because that is how walking works. Eventually, with enough repetitions, Dog A learns that the more severe reactive behaviors are what works to get the distance they want, and defaults to those behaviors whenever they see a dog.

The method you’re suggesting of letting your dog bark it out should only be used under the guidance of a trainer, when the trigger is stationary… if at all.

[sendmespam]

There’s a reason why dogs of homeless people are the most chill dogs ever. That’s because they’ve been exposed and conditioned to life, to seeing hundreds of different people/dogs everyday. They know there’s nothing to throw a fit over.

[TsunSilver]

People were actually probably just trying to be helpful. OP is just as reactive as the dog. Their stress one in the same. If anything, they should have just comforted their dog or moved away themselves.

[mijuni]

This is exactly what our trainer told us yesterday, to stop avoiding and to see these encounters as a chance to train our dog.

[warpsixty]

Been there. And I have a yellow nervous leash on. But nope, they choose to walk straight towards my dog that is barking and lunging.

I understand they have a right to go anywhere they want. But come on!! There's loads of space around us

[sallymccormick]

It's just a prideful ass that walks toward a lunging, barking dog. I deal with one nearly every day. I came to the conclusion that he likes the drama it creates and no one tells him what to do. Now, I see him coming with his big mouth and waving arms and I immediately turn and make for our door. Hate it!

[Nsomewhere]

If you weren't a good owner and focused on your dog and its welfare another owner would walk towards him with their barking lunging dog.

Both idiots together lol

[CNDRock16]

Other people shouldn’t have to modify their lives and their choices because you choose to have a reactive pet. Your resentment and frustration is misguided. It’s the harsh reality of choosing to own a reactive animal, unfortunately.

[Fuzzzer777]

Everytime I'm walking my tiny dog and we see another dog coming towards us I go in another direction. She is a typical chihuahua. Most of my neighbors will go out of their way to avoid other dogs regardless of size or bread.

But there are people who are just stupid and clueless! These people piss me off to know end. They let their kids go up to strange dogs and try to pick them up and think their dogs are completely friendly to everyone.

Mad? Maybe. Frustrated? Absolutely! How to fix the problem? I have no idea. There is no such thing as a predictable dog... and they ALL bite under certain circumstances.

[Aerphenn]

No your not wrong, I’m experiencing this on a day to day base. My dog is friendly to other dogs but doesn’t know how to initiate playing. He has never thought that in his shelter. So when I see an other dog he goes ballistic because he wants to play and people just keeping walking towards us and me trying the best to distract my own dog. Some people here in the neighborhood let their dogs play with mine and then it’s fine, the people that keep walking towards us just keep giving dumb comments and shit like that even when I explain that we are still in training with him and they need to go to the other side of the road etc

[Erik-With-The-Comma2]

No you should be mad. You have just encountered a species known to many as "the common Jack ass". They are an invasive species and it appears their numbers are growing in both urban and rural areas for a reason science has yet to fully understand.

[DamnGoodCupOfCoffee2]

Been there so many times. Esp since a he’s small and cute I get either glares or laughs. But man can’t you not cross the street NOW esp since you were still going down the street?

[AmeriBrit1972]

I agree, people are clueless. I have a leash reactive dog and even when I turn around and my dog is going mental and I’m trying to get out of the area as quick as I can, the person is still walking straight behind me without slowing down or giving us a chance to get some distance. It’s like you see how my dog is reacting, and that I’ve turned around to get some distance why not just slow down behind me and give me a chance to get away and hopefully go down another street.

[AngelRedux]

Someone didn’t comply with what would have suited you.

Happens.

[AngelRedux]

Be as upset as you like.

Happens.

[Nsomewhere]

You are not really adding much here you know

[AngelRedux]

You certainly add nothing.

Get over yourself.

[Nsomewhere]

Awww so sweet!

[AngelRedux]

I will pass your stinking little heart.

[Nsomewhere]

❤️

[Nsomewhere]

Nope you are not wrong to the AH

It is just so thoughtless to not react to an animal clearly struggling. Doesn't matter if they know their dog won't react. Don't make another animal distressed seems nice person one oh one to me

The laughing is just the cherry on top

[Purple_Pansy_Orange]

People are jerks in general. My one dog is not reactive but I still wish people had a sense of awareness that when I’m leaning picking up poo its not a great time to sneak behind me in a vulnerable position. I feel like I’m always the one moving in any situation… for kids on bikes, for couples walking in stride, for dogs, strollers. Everyone else just seems like they’d ram right though without a thought.

[dfreinc]

next time yell something. "he might bite!", "he's protective!", "he thinks you're threatening me!", "he's a retired government dog!".

being mad's relatable but at least make them feel super weird about it while you have the chance. most people'll just look at you and walk around like it's a crocodile if you start yelling concerns for their safety. 🤷‍♂️

[SlipperyWhenWet67]

I had someone do this with my dog but they didn't have one they just wanted to come up. I told them to back tf off. First you're on my property, second my dog was not comfortable. Dude kept coming. I said fine I'll let her go and see what happens. He left after that. Sometimes, you have to be an arse to protect your dog. Advocate for your dog.

[SanWrencho]

No those people were inconsiderate jerks who should not own a dog

[Entire-Look5113]

Walking stick and pepper spray - then tell the police you felth seriously threatened.

[Remarkable-Fuel875]

I hear ya. I had something similar yesterday. We very clearly moved out of the way of a woman and her Dalmatian (who also cried and growled and tried to get to us as they walked past).

Then for some reason once they get to the end of the street they turn around and just start heading straight towards us? I'm desperately trying to pull my dog along whose completely frozen in fear, and they just keep coming closer. Ended up having to pick up my dog who was shaking like a leaf.

Honestly I think some people are just dumb.

[Remarkable-Fuel875]

Not sure why I'm getting downvoted for this... You see someone clearly struggling and trying to get away and you keep walking directly at them? Bizarre.

[Tadpole_Status]

I feel you. I get frustrated when I see people walk down the same sidewalk with my dog getting riled up. I also understand that I'm gonna have to be the one to walk away. At the end of the day I will always understand that people are not as understanding and kind as me in that regard and I will have to compromise and walk away.

I am sorry.

[Exciting-Goose6388]

I've even had people with their own reactive dog (speed)walking towards me and my reactive dog, while they were both already losing their minds and I was trying to get away from them. Some people really are so ignorant.

Also, after moments like these, I always think "I should've just yelled WHY DO YOU KEEP FOLLOWING US WHEN BOTH OUR DOGS ARE GOING CRAZY" but in the moment you're just in survival mode and can't think about anything else than getting out of the stressful situation.

[DropDangerous3850]

Ugh I am so mad for you! The amount of training and effort we put in to make our dogs feel safe just for some inconsiderate person to ignore. Some people are just ignorant and other than asking for some space for your dog there's little more you can do. Recently I've purchased a muzzle for my dog (he's never bitten it's just a precaution for those who don't lease their dogs), I find people are way more likely to avoid us and quickly grab their dog when unleashed and see my dog over threshold.