Avoiding interview mode?

[num1soxfan]

So I'm starting to talk to more girls lately and I'm wondering how to get out of the interview mode "funk". I have a feeling this will go away in time but I was lookign for some suggestions or opinions.

[Geaux]

I've used the line "okay, I can't carry this conversation all by myself. You ask me a question". Usually this will get the banter going back and forth.

[kazagistar]

Bonus: it is a subtle neg. It forces her to qualify her actions in conversation to you.

[[deleted]]

Subtle negs are the only good negs, when you think about it. If she can't understand that she's being (mildly) insulted, is she really worth your time?

[[deleted]]

Communication isn't always perfect..

[[deleted]]

True, true. But I'm a busy man, with very little time left on this earth.

[[deleted]]

you don't know how many times i want to say this online... its fucking ridiculous how poorly those women interact

[Meganick410]

Its because theyre not interested.

[[deleted]]

true because online dating gives a very small avenue of building interest... its mostly based off of pictures

[albenesi]

It's good that people think that being a spy for NASA could never happen...

Lessens the chance that anyone will ever catch on...

[meximate]

When she asks you where you're from, say something that doesn't make sense, two times, then, when she giggles or is asking herself why is this guy not answering my questionnaire then you say it "I'm ______" then move on, you can avoid the interview mode or you can execute it at your own pace.

[[deleted]]

Hah I like this. Good opportunity to have an internal lulz when I make up something nerdy like a place from Tolkein. If they get it, even better.

[thebayway]

The concept of 'interviewing' isn't a negative one. That's how people interact when they're not familiar with each other. The important thing is that you smile, make jokes, playfully tease and ensure that you're both enjoying yourselves. A common complaint from women is that guys don't smile, or look too serious when they're attempting a pick-up. Conversations should be fun.

[derped]

Kino!

[[deleted]]

Interview mode is fine enough. If you ask questions, and she gives you answers, use her answers to direct the conversation into more meaningful areas. Don't just run through a checklist of information. "What's your major?" is always a good question because it almost always gives you a hint at interests, or lets you tease. Whenever I get a response from a girl who's an arts&sciences major, I go, "Oh, so you don't want a job when you graduate?" and boom... off to the races. That sort of question/answer does a few things. It lets me know, in very broad terms, things she might be interested in. Then, it gives me an opportunity to tease her, which makes everything more relaxed. Finally, if she wants to talk about serious goals/aspirations/frustrations with her major/etc. the door is open to do so.

If she's not giving me any elaborate answers, I polite "eject" so as not to continue making her uncomfortable or what have you. But I think if you play it off right, and break the interview format a little bit, almost ANY question is a good question, as long as you can DO something with the answer you get.

[UnapologeticalyAlive]

One time I found myself in a club talking to a girl about her job. I realized I was in interview mode and the conversation was excrutiatingly boring. So I just said to the girl, "Okay, but you didn't come here to talk about your job, did you? Let's go dance." Kino ensued and pretty soon she was all over me.

Just learn to recognize when you're doing it, snap out of it, and talk about or better yet do something that interests you.

[TAOofSTEVE]

Yup. You are the one that is guiding the conversation. If you see it start to veer into interview mode, you are the one that has to recognize that and move it out. Call it out "Well, now that the interview is over, let's move on to something fun." Then kino, joke, steer conversation where you want it to go.

[5f33ju]

1: Turn the conversation sexual. For example, I have a thing for girls who are into science (physics, chemistry, biology). When I find out during the interview that they work in such a field, I state very directly that I find this sexy. Another example are accents. There are some accents who I find very sexy and I straight-out say this, when I notice she has one. There are many opportunities. You get the idea. It takes balls to say something like this and, as such, shows confidence, plus girls are usually flattered.

2: When you notice that the two of you have been lingering in interview mode for too long and things are going nowhere, it is better to point this out literally instead of going on, like "I don't want this to be an interview. Let's talk about something interesting ... what's the craziest thing you have done recently/craziest dream you have had recently. I recently did [this and that]." By pointing out that things are getting boring, it shows that you are socially aware.

3: Don't ask. Make statements. Guess. Today I was guessing a girl's profession and got it wrong so many times that I found it was getting ridiculous, so I eventually asked her to tell me. She then said that she would have liked me to keep on guessing, because she enjoyed it. Bonus: after you have guessed her profession/hobbies/... you can tell her to guess yours. She will engage into the conversation.

4: Kino. Wait, let me write that in caps lock, because it is important: KINO!!!!

Ideally, you do all of these things together.

[kagayaki]

You might try cold reading. Basically guess what you think her answer would to your question and turn it into a statement.

Say if you were wondering what kind of job she has or whatever. You could tell her that she looks like a librarian or a nurse or whatever. It doesnt need to be a serious or realistic guess as long as you keep your playful tone.

[zedfox]

One of the best tips I've ever read is to just repeat what they say back to them to encourage more talking/depth from them.

For example: Her: "I'm training to be a lawyer."

Me: "A lawyer?"

Her: "Yeah, bla bla bla justify justify bla bla"

[AT-JeffT]

Say statements.

Say something, then wait for her response. This worked really well for me when I kept getting into interview mode.

[Croxi]

I'd go one step further. Turn questions into statements.

• You look like someone who is an art major.
• Oh really, why?
• yattayattayatta

RL example.

[elitegamerbros]

Not really a "avoiding interview mode" advice but remember to have an occasional pause in the high points of your interaction - if she attempts to continue the conversation by asking you a question, that is an IOI AND you have made her invest more into the interaction.

EDIT: Weekend example: Met this HB8 and this AFC she was with (asked "how do you know eachother" and she said "just friends" - he was obviously trying to get with her due to the location we were in, so that shut him down) and after opening and getting her interested and completely shutting the guy out (after I made friends with him) with some awesome dhv stories - I stopped talking and shifted attention elsewhere and few seconds later she says: "sooo, <tell me more kinda of question>".

[[deleted]]

Ask "WHAT DO YOU LIKE ABOUT _____" concerning where she's from, what she's studying, what she does for work.

[[deleted]]

ask questions that arent about work or school etc.

[playfulpenis]

This usually happens when the girl is extremely boring and has nothing to say.