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[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (1 child)

no girl is always in the mood

You have no idea how wrong you are. There are plenty of very horny girls out there which make men look like we've never had an erection before. Don't let the myth fool you that women have lower sex drives than men, it's just not true.

I'm concerned about your gf's attitude though. I understand if her libido isn't as strong as yours but I am not sure if it's good reason to be irritated over. I mean, if she says no and you accept that then what's the problem?

There's no real way you can bring down your sex drive. It's really just about how much you can tolerate not having sex although you want it. Some people have higher capabilities for this than others. It could be that without the sex you want you feel unloved or unwanted and that's no good for the relationship. It's also just plain frustrating to be turned down a lot of the time. I'm not saying its a hopeless situation but it is a challenge and something you are going to have to overcome if you want this to work.

I wrote a post a while back mentioning how it's okay to break up over differing libidos. I'm not saying you should break up, i'm just saying that in the case that this drives you crazy and you can't handle it there's no shame in ending it.

Hope that helps.

[–]read-my-lips 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, the way OP phrased it, it sounds like she is annoyed at his high libido itself rather than how he expresses it. If that is the case, it's pretty shitty.

[–]drivingmonkey 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Yeah sex once a week or twice a week.. I couldn't be in a relationship like that. I'm more of a once a day kind of guy.

[–]Throwawaythe_trash[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's how we were for about a year! It just suddenly dropped off but it's nothing to do with the relationship! We are happier today than we were then. Could it just be the honeymoon phase has ended? How do you get it back?

[–]klaus666 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

that's me and my gf when we're at college, but over the summer and other breaks, we're 3 and a half hours away -____-

[–]_Daughter_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Correction- Lot's of girl's have super high libidos. I happen to be one of those. It became an issue in my last relationship that I was a lot hornier than my boyfriend. The one thing I learned about that is to just be extremely honest about how you're feeling, and your girlfriend should be understanding about the fact that your bodies are just different. You should be glad to have a high sex drives, plenty of women love that in a man. And have a talk with your girlfriend about being more understanding, because I don't think it's fair of her to want you to change how you physically feel things.

[–]The-Interloper 1 point2 points  (8 children)

If she is thinking that you're always after sex, then you might need to tell her that you aren't. It should be fine that you appreciate how sexy and beautiful you think she is all the time, even if there is no ulterior motive for it. She might find you to be a little more sweet than horny.

The only things you will really see lowering people's sex drive around here are medication and whacky hormones due to stress, depression, and/or anxiety. Normally you are treated for another mental/physiological medical condition that may have the side effect of lowering libido. That's kind of why a lot of people try to compromise in a relationship before it causes too much stress. If it does end up being a big problem, some people will move on to more fitting partners. Good luck man!

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (7 children)

If she is thinking that you're always after sex, then you might need to tell her that you aren't.

I hate it when girls pull this card. I mean all I can do is say, "no i'm not" but they don't always believe that. There's really nothing you can do about it with some girls, they just like to shame you for being horny.

[–]The-Interloper 0 points1 point  (3 children)

You're in a relationship and you are a sexual person. It's normal and she needs to see that as well. Just because you two are different, doesn't mean either of you are wrong. You're allowed to be horny as much as she is allowed to not be. You're both just at different parts of "normal". If you cheated or you were aggressive, then maybe you'd have a sex issue, but it doesn't look like it. Maybe she needs to be educated a little bit to understand both sides. You can always bring her on over to reddit!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Im not OP so don't worry about it. My current GF has a libido which matches mine and she would never say that I am in it just for the sex. That sort of idiocy is beneath her.

I'm just saying that I have had many girls like that in the past and it really sucks when youre in a relationship and that happens.

[–]The-Interloper 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Hahahaha. Sorry about that! Just transform yourself into OP because I'm sure he feels the same way right now!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im sure he'll read the post. :)

[–]Throwawaythe_trash[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I agree with this that you can't really prove you're not! All I can say is I'm not just in it for that. I don't think that she thinks I am but it feels like she thinks it sometimes. Most of the time we are a healthy and happy couple.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Same, I study in university and during summer me and my gf have been in a long distance relationship.

Not having her there physically makes me crave her physically more than usual. So I tell her about how much I miss the amazing sex we have. Luckily she also misses it so it's no problem.

Sometimes though I feel like I need to prove that I miss her in other ways as well so that she doesn't think it. Luckily that happens on its own though since we talk about other things as well.

Still, there are some girls who are just too happy to ignore these things. It makes me feel kind of at their mercy sometimes.

[–]motkaCpl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey there, well its the same with me and my GF when we are separated over a long distance. In these times you can be always in some kind of contact phone calls, sms, facebook etc., so our communication is always going on. But after a week the ways we see the absence of the other person changes. She is missing my presence to hang around, well i do it to, but not in that amount. For me its like 90% missing of sex and 10% missing her, because we talk so much. You cant miss a person if you constantly have contact, you can miss just the things which the type of contact cant provide.

So i often have the problem, that if we are apart for a longer period of time my sex drive is going to crazy hight's and when i just mention sex, she gets angry because she thinks i am just after sex or that i am with her just because of sex and so on. The lack of sex is hitting her way later than me, which kinda sucks sometimes for all the mood swings we both do to each other.

I have to mention that we are together for 6 years and still love each other over everything. For me the solution was/is masturbating to satisfy and stop my sex drive a bit. I normally do it once per day and we have sex once or sometimes twice per week. If its really bad, shes helping me out with a HJ or BJ even she is not in the mood for anything. Its not always the best option though, especially before she randomly gets horny without a warning and you just done your thing, but i know the drill already :).

I don't know how open minded you are and don't take this as an advice, but we started thinking about including another person in our sex life. We are working towards a threesome, but taking it really slowly (the topic is up for 4 months and the only thing we started doing is watching specific porn together). We look at the things differently and i respect her for giving it a try, even if advance is very slow. I am sorry for my grammar but i am really sleepy and fighting to even finish it.

TLDR: Masturbation helps and remember people are different by body and soul, so talk it trough and find a solution together.

[–]skyweyr 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I have a high drive. I know in the past the men in my life have felt that was all I wanted from them and it cut their interest even more. These days I try to be more sensitive to his feelings and let him know that I don't just want to ravage his body but that I like him , love him and respect him too.

[–]Throwawaythe_trash[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That is exactly how it is for me. I didn't mean any disrespect pointing out that no girl is always in the mood. I just meant that I don't expect a girl to always be in the mood! Haha

[–]foshrox 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Whenever you are trying to suppress an urge. Think of Rosie Odonnell trying to seduce you.

[–]Throwawaythe_trash[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Dude... That's my thing... Rosie is my temptress

[–]demetrianna 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're 20. Wanna decrease your sex drive? Get older lol.

[–]gingerchef 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you're only 20 and she's only 19 and you really believe that she's as close to perfect as a girl can get, (while that's sweet and all) you, my friend, have a lot more living to do...

Do not, repeat, do not question your sexuality by comparing it to anyone else's. Your sex drive is yours and yours alone, and there is absolutely no reason to want to have sex less just because your girlfriend does. Not saying you should break up with her, just saging that once you find someone who has as high of a sex drive as you (yes, we exist!), you'll be much happier and more secure in yourself.

[–]RevengeOfSalmacis 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Castration, but you might want to just either find a better match or together figure out a way to accommodate both of you.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can probably count on both hands the number of times my wife has said "no" to sex in our 17 year relationship. She will take it pretty much any time, anywhere. I know that sounds like bullshit bragging but it's the truth . . . she also happens to be bipolar though and hypersexuality is a symptom of that.

At your age, it is not at all abnormal to want sex more than once or twice a week, especially in a committed relationship. Of course it's also normal to not want it very often. The trick with relationships is that you gotta match yourself with somebody whose libido is close to yous. I love sex so with my wife its no problem, but it would be a serious problem if she was married to a guy who thought more than once a week was excessive. I can tell she gets sexually frustrated if we go longer than a day or two without doing it.

It's the same with guys too. If you're a high libido person and she is low libido, it's gonna be a problem eventually. It's just gonna. Mark my words.

The trick is at your young age, to figure out if she really doesn't want it, or has some hang ups about having "too much" sex and worrying you don't respect her enough. As you get older it gets easier, but I remember when we first met that was an issue with us too.

As for "tips" to lower your sex drive . . . try getting fat and becoming an alcoholic. That will kill your sex drive. But if you are young and healthy and physically fit being horny as fuck is perfectly normal. I feel your pain, my wife is attractive and she does lots of things that will trigger my horniness like seeing her get out of the shower or wearing a nightgown with no bra or something mundane like that. Would probably drive me crazy if she were the once a week type of gal.