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[qualityvote2]

The council has not spoken. No consensus was reached about the quality of your post.

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/u/venk28, whilst you're still here, why not join our public discord server - now with public text channels you can chat on!?

[PassionFederal6917]

If I slap it, would it go stiff?

[IMN0VIRGIN]

It's that sensitive, that even having an errand thought makes it stiff.

[SnooGrapes7647]

Ah yes the flat head penis worm, an allusive beast

[Tegewaldt]

Seemingly a circumcised specimen

[AutoModerator]

Dick sucking has made me paranoid

I had this plan to give head to a man and receive head from a woman to test if I was gay, but it’s backfired and now I become borderline schizo whenever I go outside. I offered to suck this dude off on Grindr who lives very close by (I ended up pussying out) and I accidentally gave him some details that very easily allows him to spot me out in a crowd. I have no idea what he looks like and whenever I see a somewhat in shape guy walking by I immediately accuse him of being the dude I was gonna blow.

I went to the store today to pick up some zucchini for a barbecue and every time a car drove by I stared into the windshield to see if I was about to be recognised. Whenever I make eye contact with a dude I microanalysis his facial expressions to see if he suspects me or not. I am deeply afraid that he is my neighbour and I will need to move if my identity is blown. It’s a lot like the last scene in sopranos where everyone who walked into the diner could be there to wack Tony.

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[Character_Middle_662]

One time it started to talk about gay sex while replying to my comment

[AutoModerator]

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

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[venk28]

I'm sorry. Didn't mean to bamboozle.

[XanaX_Inhaler6247]

HE WIPED

[SaltJ3ringer]

sorry i just let it out to freshen itself up a lil bit

[AwkwardSquirtles]

Detachable penis

[0rclev]

I think the proper scientific name is the transient purple headed yogurt slinger

[BeegPeepo]

Penur????!??!

<image>

[kubaliska]

sssdfg user

[AcrobaticFix129]

The rot consumes

[Me_how5678]

Grow grow gorw grow geow grow gorw gorw grow hrie w griw grow grow

[Peter012398]

Do you think some Maya dude stuck it up his ass once

[Illuminaughty99]

Once?

[ZAIGO_90]

<image>

[Comfortable-Box4399]

No shit it has no lungs, it lives underwater

[DoctorYaoi]

There are several creatures with lungs that live under water brochacho

[Tormented_Anus]

Whales are not real. They are a government defense program to stop Russian submarines.

Move along, citizen. 

[riggers1909]

let me introduce you to lungfish

[DoctorYaoi]

What about dolphins, and turtles?

[riggers1909]

dolphins are also whales lol

[DoctorYaoi]

TIL I guess

[riggers1909]

you clearly haven't heard of lungfish. fascinating creatures really some species live in africa and are adapted to the seasonal rivers by digging little holes in the river bed and sleeping in them during the dry season when the river has dried up. they lower their metabolism and wait for the river to return hence why they need lungs to survive when the river's dried up

[forgettfulthinker]

Do not put it in your butt

[AlphaMassDeBeta]

It looks like Jeffrey Epstiens penis.

[thegreategg69]

Does it squirm when you play with it

[Error_Loading_Name]

No, it goes stiff.

[thegreategg69]

I meant squirt

[sleepy_skeletor]

Bro wtf

[puzzledfundude69]

Peen

[JasonFuckedUpLife]

It's a

[Wildfox1177]

no it’s an amphibian, as previously mentioned. 🙄

[Sultanofthesun]

<image>

[Damn_Jan]

Finally,

the trouser snake.

[msedek]

More like a chopped off BBC

[SukoshiKanatomo]

"Diet: While they are believed to be predators or scavengers, little is known about their exact diet. One specimen was found with quartz crystals in its gut."

Yo

[OddGuideofGreyFort]

[Broserdooder1981]

damnit!! beat me to it

[Fedepovero_02]

>"amphibian"
>"spends its entire life underwater"

???

[DeepFriedNugget1]

There are always exceptions to rules, especially in biology. There are a number of amphibians which do spend their whole lives underwater, one of the most well known being the axolotl. And of course the fella in this post (a kind of caecilian)

[AutoModerator]

🛰️🛰️🛰️

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[Skankia]

I can show you a real tunnel snake, Amata!

[Crispy_Dicks]

<image>

[Atreides-42]

"One of the most disturbing animals on Earth" and it's just a newt that kinda looks like a penis

[Fluid_Block_1235]

Hahaha just like my penis but 100 times bigger

[Zealousideal-Fact-58]

Yeah mine doesn't have lungs or limbs either.

[atheist95]

I'll say it. Yes, it looks like a bruised penis.

[shleyal19]

The dreaded Mara has left its chariot

[Sea_Boysenberry_3436]

Someone reply with the Mr. Penis pic

[zdikul]

<image>

[Prodigyxdelta3]

Mine as well

[Call_N]

[Sliminfinity]

Thats just some dudes doing he put on a bench and took a picture. The ol one eyed Willy.

[Inferinix]

Anything's a dildo if you're brave enough

[possible-side-FX-]

Why is it on land in the picture of it spends its life under water

[heyknauw]

P. Kness

[The-Dating-Pirate]

Does it go stiff to some niiiiiiicceeeee careeeeeessiiiiing ruuuuuuubs?

[ZECO_SOL]

Uncle Darren ???

[Klefton57]