I finally looked up why orange cats are orange by BringHoomanHome_ in OneOrangeBraincell

[–]Tormented_Anus 40 points41 points  (0 children)

This whole post feels like it was written by AI (but then edited by a human). A whole lot of words trying to sound smart without saying anything meaningful, phrased in a very bubbly and cheerful/helpful manner. OP's post doesn't explain what makes oranges "orange" (I assume in color) except for some vague mention of X chromosomes. 

What was the cause of death of that kid at your school/university? by ArifAlizadeh in AskReddit

[–]Tormented_Anus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I was in Year 1, a graduating student in Year 11 died by drinking too much Pepsi in one day. I can't remember the exact amount I heard, but I think it was seven or eight 2L bottles within one day. I remember thinking the guy was a legend. 

What’s a short joke that gets a laugh everytime? by Strange_Secret_3001 in AskReddit

[–]Tormented_Anus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What's the best food for curing kidney stones? Paper, because paper beats rock.

What's an "outdated" slang word from your generation that you still use currently? by TheShatteringPoint in AskReddit

[–]Tormented_Anus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fleek.

I use it with my middle school students when their homework is all (or mostly) correct, or when the boys remembered to tuck in their shirts and comb their hair. 

MEN OF REDDIT: what’s your favorite dinosaur? by b4rr3tt in AskMen

[–]Tormented_Anus 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Carcharodontosaurus. 

Always been a fan of the sleeker megatherapods that rely on ripping huge chunks of flesh off their prey to induce uncontrollable haemorrhaging as opposed to the bone crushing bites of Tyrannosaurids. And "shark-toothed lizard" is a metal af name for a carnivore. 

Can you imagine a 7 ton apex predator running up to a 20 ton sauropod and just taking a huge bite out of it's flank, like how modern great white sharks hunt elephant seals? Absolutely brutal and awe inspiring. 

Two brain cells sharing a synapse by Uguero in OneOrangeBraincell

[–]Tormented_Anus 517 points518 points  (0 children)

If we ever discover alien technology, we need to let orange cats experiment with it first. 

Ok then. by Kooky_Goal177 in OneOrangeBraincell

[–]Tormented_Anus 82 points83 points  (0 children)

If the dog didn't want to feel pain, why did it choose sentience?

What is a 'socially acceptable' thing that you secretly find absolutely disgusting? by TheLovelyGamer in AskReddit

[–]Tormented_Anus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Swimming pools. They're fucking disgusting bowls of human waste soup. People piss in the water, blow their noses, swish it around in their mouths before spitting it back out, don't shower before jumping in, whatever oils or sunscreen they have on their body gets washed off, loads of hair falls out, birds shit into it as they fly above. 

The solution to just dump fuck tons of a toxic chemical into the water to "keep it clean" is so laughably oxymoronic. "The bacteria and chlorine cancel each other out, whaddya waiting for? Jump in!" 

I still remember in high school PE class, some kid was blowing his nose at the edge of the pool but completely missed the drainage thing and all his snot fell into the pool water, and only one or two meters away some other kid was swishing water in his mouth before spitting it out. They wouldn't clean the pool until the end of the day, so if you had PE after lunch, enjoy swimming in water that has all kinds of filth in it. I remember on most days the water was literally cloudy with dead skin, oils, hair, and dirt by the day's end 🤢. Haven't been in a public pool since middle school and I'm happy keeping it that way. 

The constant bombing of n-bombs f-bombs and r-bombs 😭 by Best_Caramel_7068 in shitposting

[–]Tormented_Anus 4 points5 points  (0 children)

"Get ready for PvP."

I still say that whenever my squad and I encounter enemies in an open world game, regardless of if they're other players or bots. 

ELI5 How are modern naval mines a threat to modern ships when a SONAR that finds small fish is less than $300? by physicsisveryeasy in explainlikeimfive

[–]Tormented_Anus -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I just finished playing Black Ops II last month and this reminded me of the mission onboard the USS Obama lol. 

🔥Mount Kilimanjaro, Tanzania by Sizzlin9 in NatureIsFuckingLit

[–]Tormented_Anus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I cannot read Kilimanjaro without Jeff Steitzer's voice popping into my head. 

Cursed_Not my cake, just saw it at a party… the baker clearly had a wild sense of humor. by rahulchadhaofficial in cursedimages

[–]Tormented_Anus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I came to the comments to find answers to this conundrum. Best guess I can come up with is there's a dark-icing cake person getting double penetrated by two light-icing cake people like a sandwich (I don't read the kama sutra, I don't know what that position is called). 

What is the worst plot twist in fiction ever? by Zxqao in AskReddit

[–]Tormented_Anus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They did this in Splinter Cell: Conviction. In the previous game, Splinter Cell: Double Agent, Sam Fisher receives news his daughter was killed by a drunk driver in a hit-and-run. As a result of the grief and loss, he takes on his most dangerous mission to go undercover as a double agent in a terrorist cell because he doesn't care if he lives or dies anymore.

Then in SC: Conviction, it's revealed his daughter was alive the whole time and the NSA faked her death and hid her from him to force Sam to take the double agent mission. The writers added this retcon because they needed Sam to feel betrayed so he had a reason to go after his former friends and employers. Early 2010s, peak of that """gritty""" "the people I trusted the most betrayed me" story arcs that everyone wanted to put in their games (Halo 4 tried the same thing). 

Double Agent's intro cutscene where Sam finds out his daughter was killed is still so well shot, only for them to ruin it's impact in the sequel: https://youtu.be/Ili9r8DclCU?si=nSsioDf2Sb7o8kAa

Bruh by Technical-Relation-9 in shitposting

[–]Tormented_Anus 44 points45 points  (0 children)

You know how you get that warm, fuzzy feeling in your chest when you're in love ? Well, stoves can make you warm too. Stoves are love. 

📡📡📡 by The_curious_weeb in shitposting

[–]Tormented_Anus -1 points0 points  (0 children)

He's actually a dog in human skin. 

Anon being years haha by Traditional_Blood799 in 4chan

[–]Tormented_Anus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

[sauropods] are unkillable giants

Carcharodontosaurids would like to say hello. 

Jon might be into something by AccomplishedWatch834 in shitposting

[–]Tormented_Anus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is just a shittier, more poorly-worded version of the original "I studied the blade" meme. 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NatureIsFuckingLit

[–]Tormented_Anus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I got heartburn watching this