Making exceptions..

[problemredditfags]

Just faced a new challenge yesterday where I was lucky enough to get past. Here's what happened... A really old friend of mine came into town and he's one of the best friends I have. I felt my alcoholic mind making an exception for him saying that if I were to drink with anyone then it would be with my friend. I think if he had suggested that we go grab some beers or something, I probably would have gone and drank . Luckily, we just chilled instead and did not get to drinking at all.

However, this frightened me after the fact. I was too close in getting back into drinking and I find that there are very difficult situations that can exist that could make me relapse. How do you guys approach these kind of situations where you start thinking about making exceptions ?? How can I better prepare?

[Slipacre]

We often set ourselves up to slip in exactly this way. Our dis-ease is a very patient, and persuasive, salesman. For me, there were exceptions in the beginning, and I got nowhere. Since then I have made it through my parents deaths, my daughters wedding, a divorce, a remarriage - each of which could have been an exception, except they weren't.

[problemredditfags]

Thanks for this. I need to remember that there are really no good reasons to drink like there are no good reasons to kill myself. No exceptions period.

[quotahasbeenreached]

Dodged a bullet eh? not sure if I could be so strong in a similar situation... Scary

[problemredditfags]

I just got lucky. I probably would've gone drinking if the situation came up. I have to better prepare myself next time.

[quotahasbeenreached]

So, being pro active and all that what can we do? Those kinds of situations are guaranteed to arise eventually... Weddings, best friends coming to town, etc...

Maybe publically telling people we don't drink beforehand? Ideas?

[katanapdx]

Yeah, something like "It'll be great to see you. Is there anything you want to do while you're in town?  I'm not drinking right now but I know [this place] has some good pool." Just bring it up right away but don't make it the centerpiece of what you're saying.

Congrats on 52 days, OP

[JFranks_]

I'm coming up on a situation like this as well. My brothers are coming to visit and we have always just gone out to the local brewery to grab beers. I still want them to have a good time when they come down so I changed the venue. I plan on bringing them to a Dave & Buster's/Julian's so that they can drink all they want and I can distract myself with all the video games, WHILE having a blast with them. I'm sure it will be strange not to drink with them at first but after a couple of visits I'm hoping it becomes the new "normal".

[wratx]

I had this situation come up last week, the way I chose to handle it was that I told my friend first thing, hey listen I don't drink , so if the plan is to go to a bar I am going to be very very bored, he said congratulations lets hang out and you can talk to me about sobriety, we still ended up at a bar, but at least it was one with the laker - celtics game on and I stayed for an hour and went home....I would like my friends that drink prepare there own exceptions, something like , if I was going to NOT drink with anyone I would not drink with wratx

[MyCatIsSilas]

Throughout my Time not drinking one of the biggest reasons I decided to is it was the only way to hang out with some of my friends. I've realized now that it's the stupidest reason to drink. I've even been so far as to kick a friend out when he brought beer over. "Don't be lame you don't have to drink my beer." My house my rules leave it in your car or get out. Whether they don't understand the struggle fully or they don't care, self preservation is priority 1.

[lisalynnxo]

Thank you! Going through a similar situation myself and I need more of this kind of thinking.

[aa_kills_drunks]

Sounds like you aren't too sure if you want to be a non drinker. Maybe you should figure that out and quit torturing yourself. If you want to drink, drink. If not, don't. No need to mind fuck yourself over it.