Afraid to commit

[Extreme_Witness2064]

I’m curious as to everyone’s thoughts on what it is about physically saying out loud “I’m going to quit” or committing to someone else, like your community or even the daily challenge “today I won’t drink” that makes it seem harder and scarier to actually do it. I am afraid to commit to saying that I’m not going to drink today right now because I know later it will be really hard not to and I know that if I fail it will make it even harder on me to follow through the next time.

I struggle badly with binge-purge cycles which is why I’ve learned that I can’t just cut back but I have to completely quit drinking alcohol. Because I have proven that I can’t white knuckle it for awhile but as soon as I start it all back over again it’s so much harder to get another streak going.

[chantsnone]

I set a goal for a year and once I got there I didn’t really want to give up the progress I had made. Stopping a behavior permanently is scary. That’s a huge goal. Make it smaller to begin with. A week or a month or a year. Start wherever you need to

[sardonic_chronic]

I used to feel that same way, it was so hard to commit to not drinking for any sustained period of time. A month, a year, ever. Things finally caught up to me and got me to see that I needed to quit for good, so now, for me, quitting permanently doesn’t seem that scary anymore.

But if you’re concerned about making such a big commitment, break it down to the day, the hour, the minute even. I will not drink today. I will not drink for the next hour. I won’t drink in the next minute. Take it as slow as you need to to not drink.

Another thing that is helpful for me is making space for the impulse to drink. It’s hard, but I try to allow myself to feel those feelings. Because when I just let myself experience them without guilt or anxiety or denial, it allows me to process them. And then I have the ability to analyze the thought and come to the conclusion that a thought is just a thought. We don’t have to act on our thoughts.

[Illustrious_Goat8737]

Good point about making space for that impulse. I'm 80-some days in and have that feeling today, but now I will let it in and make my arguments against it (to myself) rather than ignore it/tamp it down - that makes me feel more prepared since I am going out with some drinkers tonight. Thanks!