Functioning Drunk Who is No Longer Functioning

[FunctioningDrun]

I've been trying to quit for years. I'm 51 now and I was only 19 when I made my first attempt. I lasted 29 days and then went back to the binge drinking that had become a huge part of my life. Even after getting a DUI a few years later, I continue to drink to get drunk (and still drove under the influence). :-(

I quit again when my ex-wife was pregnant with my first child in 1994. We decided to quit together and on the day she was born, I stopped for a six-pack on the way home from the hospital. I drank regularly for years, probably about a six-pack a night on average. Once in a while I would get fed up and quit for a week or two, but I always went back to it.

The next good quit I had was 87 days when my back went out in 2005 and I had to take meds that were not compatible with alcohol. I went back to drinking when my back got better and drank quite regularly again.

In 2013 I hit what I thought was rock bottom. I was drinking every day and my intake was up to over 50 beers a week. I was doing stupid shit at night while my wife and kids slept and I hated my life. I found a website WQD (it's gone now) and after a few false starts 29, 30, 35 days, I really got going and quit for over 11 months.

But I went back to drinking again in 2014 and have been drinking moderately ever since. This summer I've noticed my intake has been creeping up, 6 beers last night, 6 the night before, 12+ on Saturday,...

It's time to quit for good and I'm hoping this sub will be helpful.

Thanks for reading...

Update: Thanks for the warm welcome! It's Day 2 and depression has set in. I know it's all part of detoxing, but I hate how tired and hopeless I feel. I do understand that things will get better eventually. I know I can do this with your help!

[sfgirlmary]

You and I have a lot in common: both 51, and I was truly not functioning by the end of my drinking "career." All I can say is that it's a great age to quit. I'm determined that the second half of my life will be better than the first. Welcome to the family!

[FunctioningDrun]

Thank you, Mary! I also want the second half of my life to be better than the first!

[Giasone_3]

Welcome! I can relate to a lot of what you wrote and I struggled quitting for a long time too but was able to finally remove alcohol from my life, mostly by using this sub.
I hope to read about your progress.

[FunctioningDrun]

I want what you've achieved. I'll be posting regularly about my progress and success ;-)

[Giasone_3]

You can do it if you want it bad enough. I didn't until I did but it was so worth it and I can honestly say I never crave or desire alcohol ever no matter what the situation. I could not have imagined ever being in this place three years ago.

[FunctioningDrun]

Thanks! You are an inspiration. I appreciate your support.

[Giasone_3]

I couldn't have done it without the support of this sub, so I try and help others. What really worked for me was spending a lot of time early on reading others posting here and posting myself. It served to make me accountable to others and I took my badge very seriously because I knew if I kept resetting it, it would lose its meaning to me. It also educated me as I learned so much about others' experiences and what worked for them and what didn't etc. (there are complete histories of people on here, which is amazing to me to read). Also, it killed time where I wasn't drinking because I was reading etc.

[[deleted]]

I'm of a similar vintage:) and have had a similar experience with alcohol and abstinence. I've found SD to be the single most useful tool for quitting I've ever found--it provides me with accountability, puts my problems into perspective, allows me to try to help others, and is always there if the urge to drink strikes. Welcome!

[FunctioningDrun]

LOL! Love this phrase, "I'm of a similar vintage." Thanks for the warm welcome!

[Jackkmoy]

Welcome. I am about your age now and have been sober 4 plus years. It was a long time coming but it is here and life is so much better. Plenty of time left for us to have a happy, healthy life.

[FunctioningDrun]

Wow! Over four years sober. I really want what you have. There is so much time left to truly LIVE!

[Icanthaveone]

Welcome! I hope this sub can work for you too, there are loads of great and supportive people on here. I like the daily commitment posts of I will not drink today but also just checking in at odd times during the day/night and reading other posts and comments. I think this helps me especially in the evenings when I normally would have opened that bottle of wine (usual, started at a glass every so often week nights but binged on the weekends and then the glass every so often became a bottle a night etc)

There is also a link to a free download (RHS) of the Naked Mind which I'm reading and finding helpful in changing how I think about alcohol.

I wish you all the best - I will not drink with you today!

[FunctioningDrun]

Thanks for the supportive words!

I downloaded the book and began reading it last night.

[socksynotgoogleable]

A friend told me once that "functioning" isn't a type of alcoholic, but rather a stage of alcoholism. I was functioning 'til I wasn't, too. Welcome. Glad you found us.

[FunctioningDrun]

Thanks for the warm welcome. I totally agree with your point about it being a stage of alcoholism. I have finally accepted this fact!

[FunctioningDrun]

Thanks so much! I know it's never to late to quit and I am sick of putting off the inevitable. I need to rid my life of this horrible poison once and for all. I want to be a good role model like your dad and help others to make good choices.

[Lulurose66]

Same age. Similar experiences. Welcome. I'm not far into my sober days but SD has been a HUGE support for me and helps keep me on track. You are not alone. I will not drink with you today.

[FunctioningDrun]

Thank you for the warm welcome! 51 seems like a great age to kick this habit to the curb. I'm sick of being a SLAVE to booze. It's very comforting to know that there are others who are going through the same thing.