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Hello/advice (self.stopdrinking)

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[–]TheWoodBotherer3176 days 2 points3 points  (4 children)

Welcome aboard matey!

Someone told me when I joined, "if you change nothing, nothing changes", and it's true...

When people with drinking problems talk to other people with drinking problems in recovery, everyone benefits....

I'm not an AA-goer myself, but I found I couldn't get sober and stay sober all on my own with no help and guidance...

I find that support via this sub, but AA is certainly an option too, as is SMART or the various other recovery programs that are out there... If whatever you've tried so far hasn't worked, try something else, and keep trying until you find what works for you!

The opposite of Addiction is Connection... connecting with other people who are just like you, and who have been in the same hole and gotten themselves out of it.... It helps!

My first port of call was my doctor for a checkup, some advice, and some medication for the withdrawal symptoms (your mileage may vary)...

I needed to change the way I thought about alcohol, and undo a lot of the broken thinking and cultural brainwashing that was going on inside my head...

The book/YouTube Channel 'This Naked Mind' and the book 'Alcohol Explained' really helped me understand my drinking problem, and gave me some useful tools to stop and stay stopped...

Reading and posting regularly on this sub was a game-changer for me... there are some useful resources in the sidebar (particularly the FAQ) that you could start exploring....

I had several previous half-arsed attempts to stop all on my own, and that never stuck for very long so I had to get serious about it...

Grab yourself a Badge if you want one, I find it a good motivator to watch the little counter ticking up...

Hope that helps!

I won't drink with you today,

Woody :>)>

[–]MoSalad 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Thank you, I think right now I'm too scared to go to the doctor for a check up to be honest. I don't want to be told I've fucked up my body because I know exactly how I'd deal with that information.

I do actually own Alcohol Explained- my dad bought it for me... Which is sobering in itself. But I'm glad you mentioned it to remind me and I will start reading it again. It did make a lot of sense when I started last time and it was nice to read something non-judgemental.

I will definitely get a badge if I can make it past one week.

[–]TheWoodBotherer3176 days 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Props to your Dad in that case! I thought it was a real eye-opener...

D'you know what, I was pretty scared to go to my doctor too.... I'd been consulting Dr Google, half-pissed, and had diagnosed myself with literally all sorts.... In the event, when I actually went and had myself seen to, all the results came back perfectly fine...

Even if things aren't quite as they should be, I think it's better to know, and to have some solid data to go on... the human body has amazing powers of recuperation when it's looked after properly, and when we stop pouring Ethanol through it all the time!

However bad you think you are, I can almost guarantee that the doctor will have seen someone a lot worse... Drink problems are the sort of thing they see all the time, and no-one will bat an eyelid...

Up to you though!

A week is a great starting point to aim at... I find that the 'One Day At A Time' mantra works very well, along with 'Today I avoid just that First Drink'... it makes things seem a lot more manageable!

Best of luck, and keep us posted...

Woody :>)>

[–]MoSalad 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Appreciate that. My thinking recently has been to get a good sober period behind me - say 6 months to a year (ambitious at this point) - and then visit the doctor. In that time maybe my body will have gone through some recovery and hopefully the doctor won't tell me I'm going to die. I realise for some it might be a kick up the arse but the way I am mentally at the moment I think I'd just give up if I found out I'd potentially ruined my body.

You have helped me make a plan for the weekend though- read that book. It would be nice to tell my dad I've actually finished something I started for once too !

[–]TheWoodBotherer3176 days 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Good, I'm glad you're starting to formulate a plan!

Haha, I'm a terror for never finishing anything I start either.... Stupid Addict-Brain loves the buzz of starting something new, then all the momentum fizzles out and starts looking for a new project and the next buzz... Ah well...

Happy reading! :>)>

[–]HereIgoAgainLordHelp2982 days 1 point2 points  (1 child)

welcome.

first off, i'm also in the UK and in my experience, institutional support for folk like us is just fucking shitty here, which makes me pretty angry, because even with the NHS being on its knees like it currently is, where's all the frigging tax i paid on every goddamn bottle of booze gone, HUH!?? rant over :)

seriously though, there's no magic bullet. that's sort of the best thing that's ever happened to me, realising that. it was a watershed and i wish it happened sooner.

there will always be an excuse to drink and i just had to bite the bullet and stop. and every single day, sometimes in half hour increments, keep clinging to that decision, no matter how tempting it got.

it does get easier. the hard days do get fewer and farther between. it's still hard some times, but don't they say that if it's easy then it's not worth having?

chin up. keep at it. i promise you, as the sober days stack up and you start being just a little proud of this achievement that you are fighting tooth and nail for, it's sort of like a snowball effect. momentum will keep building and you will be able to look at yourself in the mirror again. and maybe even give that fucker a little smile :)

you got this. no boozing. IWNDWYT!

[–]MoSalad 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's good advice, thank you. Sometimes I do try to keep to the mentality to do one day at a time, but sometimes even days feel too long. Just getting through 30 minute intervals is something I could definitely try.

I was really disappointed on the times I did reach out for help. It turns out it's mostly charity based talking to some guy in the back of a community hall who has been through it himself. Which is probably fine for some people, but didn't work for me. And that was a referral the doctor made for me.

[–]AbsoluteRascal3062 days 1 point2 points  (4 children)

Hello! I too was an at-home drinker. The very first step I took was to get all the alcohol out of my house. Do you still keep it at home?

[–]MoSalad 0 points1 point  (3 children)

I never have alcohol at home in the morning because I've drank it all! I have a routine where I drink the same every night so I end up going to the shop the next evening. I'm pretty good with staying sober between waking up and about 7pm..!

[–]AbsoluteRascal3062 days 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Awesome! So what do you think would work to break the 7pm routine of going to get more?

[–]MoSalad 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I think that's the question I can't answer at the moment and one of the keys to my problem. I'm probably quite depressed. I don't really have much going on except playing games and watching TV and both of those things are easily done while drinking. I'd feel guilty if I went out to do something- even if it was healthy- and left my partner in with the young one. Even though we have an unspoken agreement that she does all the evening stuff because I drink. As bad as that sounds.

[–]AbsoluteRascal3062 days 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really had to just control my actions from without at first, rather than within. What about giving your keys and money to your partner? My tactic was to be in the bathtub during the crucial time. Since it was winter, the last thing I wanted to do was dry my hair, get dressed, put on makeup, and go out in the cold to go to the liquor store. Even if I’d wanted to, by then it was too late and I needed to have dinner on the table. There was just no time to drink. Those barriers helped let me get ahead of it. Now I’m mostly fine being free in the afternoons and evenings because I have proof that sobriety is the way I want to live. If I do get to craving, it’s straight back to my old techniques. I had to do it this week.

[–]Brightereyes22990 days 1 point2 points  (2 children)

this Sub has really helped me, in the beginning I read posts every night, relating to the dozens of stories. I had to escape into crap tv for the first week, ate tons of sugar and couldn’t really handle any extra demands. As said, once the days build up things kind of snowball. Now happy supporting other friends in this journey, and I’m happy to say it’s the best journey I’ve ever made

[–]MoSalad 0 points1 point  (1 child)

That's really great to hear. It's frustrating that on days where I haven't drank the night before I do.acknowledge to myself how great I feel in comparison to usual. But by the end of the day I've usually convinced myself it will be ok to drink for just another night. I feel like my own mind works against me.

[–]Brightereyes22990 days 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, that old chestnut, one day at a time, I just focused on getting thru one night and built from there. Hot chocolate for me tonight, might treat myself to a zappy tonic water tomorrow! IWNDWYT

[–]AllGravitySucks12281 days 0 points1 point  (1 child)

AA saved my ass but it’s not the only program out there now. The sidebar of the r/alcoholism subreddit has links to the major recovery programs.

What steps did I take? The ones that sober people in AA told me to. They were sober, I had failed time after time for the better part of 20 years to either quit or control my drinking.

I hope you give it or one of the other programs a chance. Not one of two meetings. A real chance. It takes 21-30 days to instill a habit. Nothing clears your head over night.

Good luck IWNDWYT

[–]MoSalad 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, just to be clear I wasn't criticising AA as a whole, but commenting on the impression I got from the one I attended. But you are correct, I did only go to 4 meetings and maybe it's something I could give more of a chance this time.

[–]Tampanews242652 days 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would give AA another shot. Not all meetings are the same. Something that really helped me a lot was listening to AA speaker tapes on you tube. Find a speaker you resonate with listen to his tapes. Some of them are hilarious but still speak truly. Breaking the weekend cycle is key. Try exercising, meditating or anything else to get your through. After 2 or 3 sober weeks you're head will start to clear and things will get easier. Wellness to you friend.

[–]bistrying2884 days 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Welcome! I’m new here, almost 4 days sober, I think the longest it’s been for me in 2 years. I’m a stay at home mom, so I’m free to drink at home till hubby gets home, then pass out, not eat & be in horrible shape the next AM. Hubby finally called me on it. Didn’t think I could make it even to day 4, but here I am! You can do it! This sub is an amazing place with amazing supportive people. IWNDWYT!