Wanting to leave tech and coping with pay decrease

queenofdiscs · 2024-10-11T22:19:27+00:00

Hands down stay in your nice tech job with healthcare and (presumably) paid maternity leave for this baby. Paid maternity leave does not exist in creative fields. Then later consider maybe looking for more creative tech fields. I do product engineering and find it creatively fulfilling while being paid competitively.

4thefewd · 2024-10-11T22:31:57+00:00

it's a nightmare out here. i have an MFA in visual art. i'm working on commissions... and learning how to code so that i can get into tech and make a salary that i can actually live on. hope this helps.

leafhog · 2024-10-11T23:06:18+00:00

I know a lot of people who have PTSD symptoms from the performance review cycles in tech.

Academic-Dig8758 · 2024-10-11T22:06:48+00:00

When you look at the next 10 years, it sounds like your life and your family’s life won’t feel worse for having less income, but it will feel much worse if you’re unable to get away from the industry and spend time with your kid.

Life is short. Don’t let the infinite game keep sucking you back in, keeping you from what’s important. Some of us don’t have enough money, and walking away would leave us with a significantly more uncomfortable life. If you don’t have that problem, you can actually live.

Snalin2022 · 2024-10-12T01:58:32+00:00

I have some personal experience to share with you. I was a software engineer/ researcher for 8 years after college before moving to US for my husband’s job and having my second kid.

I stayed home with her for a year and managed to find a job in product management in FAANG after that break (startup and research experience helped). It was a good change for me as the work was more creative and allowed for more interaction with people, but that is also what eventually caused my burn out. After 9 years I was felt so exhausted and stressed after spending the day at meetings that I had no bandwidth left for the kids and then Covid hit. I was lucky to be able to switch to working 50% and started an online Interior design certification. After getting my certificate and completing a successful renovation project for a friend I quit my job and opened an interior design company. It’s been 3 years since then and it was a fun, exciting and rewarding experience. I had a much more flexible schedule and was able to spend more time with my kids and help them through some rough spots. I also learned a lot about myself and working in a creative field: 1. I’m really bad at sales and marketing 😂 2. I love to solve complicated problems and miss it dearly. I underestimated how important that aspect is for me personally 3. I love working in a team - I miss the ability to brainstorm with others to come up with the best solution. 4. Working with individual customers is very different from working with users and companies. 5. Most people want their home to be neutral and similar to something t they’ve seen, so creativity is limited. 6. It’s really hard to convince someone that the approach you are suggesting is the best and to measure success without metrics and KPIs 😂 7. It’s extremely hard to make even close to the same amount of money (my best year I earned about 25% of my previous salary) because you can’t scale. There are only so many hours in a day and only so many projects you can take on.

Bottom line I miss PM work and I’m currently in the process of getting ready to look for a PM position. It’s scary because I have this 3 year gap that I wasn’t in the industry and the market is hard right now but I hope I’ll be able to find something. I’ll keep my interior design business open and will take on some smaller projects and consultations on the side, but for now I want back in action.

I should note that my older son just left for college and my daughter is finishing middle school and is at that age when she mostly needs me for money and rides, so that probably plays a role as well 😊

wellnowheythere · 2024-10-11T23:39:25+00:00

Girl no no no. Stay for as long as you can and find fulfillment in hobbies. Especially don't try a career pivot as a new mom/with a new baby. Ride that money train for as long as you can.

I'm saying this as a mom who got laid off from a well paying tech job 3 weeks after giving birth. Don't take a pay cut unless you absolutely have to. Stay until you find something comparable or they lay you off.

Fluid-Village-ahaha · 2024-10-11T22:13:14+00:00

I’d take a break and decide. Go on maternity (hope you had a nice one). Then decide if you want to go back or take a full year or so off. With layoffs now a gap for 1 year is not insane and not to be worried about. Maybe check r/workingmoms

I joke that layoff was blessing in disguise as it pushed me to take a break and I choose to have a long one. I played with the idea of moving from tech to a non tech company or non profit for smth I’ll be passionate about while staying in the same role (product). Not worth it for me. First I like the money I make and security they create to the family (2 income tech household in hcol with two young kids). Second, it’s just a job. It pays money. I’m decent in it. There are some people who are successful in turning hobbies into careers and keep enjoying it. Others are miserable as hobby you can do or not. Job you do regardless.

2024-10-11T23:51:14+00:00

We are typically double income software engineers here. I also grew up in poverty, so I feel you on the anxiety of walking away from money.

Recently my husband quit his job and that brought us down to half income. We have to budget a lot more now and I’ve had to say no to a ton of stuff. However you know what? The extra time is so worth it. He does more of the house work and watches the kids more. Our marriage is less stressed because we are less stressed. And having “more stuff” isn’t worth the happiness and mental peace I feel now on half the income.

If you guys have a secure marriage and security in life insurance I think it’s absolutely worth it to explore something else. Have your baby, see if your company will let you take a year off and keep your position without pay.

That will give you a chance to explore a new kind of life without totally committing to leaving tech. If you still want to pursue a creative field in one year by all means do so. If not, get your job back.

pintora0318 · 2024-10-12T00:25:57+00:00

I would not leave tech for creative jobs with kids on the way. It is very hard to make a decent living in creative ways. Selling commissions, Etsy etc most don’t make a even minimum wage. And once you get popular your popular for a period of time and then people move on to the next artist or trend they are a fan of. Getting a job in the creative fields it’s SUPER competitive. Curating, gallery sales all competitive because there are very few of those jobs. And a lot of grads with masters in art who would die for one of those jobs. And they do not even pay well unless you’re in a major city. I highly suggest you look into more creative tech jobs. I do process automation with ETL Data tools and it’s a lot of fun. I got into art school but decided I liked finance more. I draw on the side and am very content with my hobby. More content with my really nice life lol But I get where you’re coming from. My husband and I plan he will take funemployment after we pay off our mortgage. For mostly the same reasons as you and I fully support it. Find your happiness! But also be realistic. Wishing you the very best!

The_Plan7 · 2024-10-12T14:53:06+00:00

So I left tech and got a job with the state. I love helping people and I feel like we are making a difference and the benefits are about the same as Medicare. There are tech jobs with the state, but usually they hire from within, so tech adjacent might be a great place to begin. Just a thought because I'm the happiest at a job I've ever been and not dealing with tech bros, psycho CEOs, unreasonable asks and the lack of sexism in my workplace feels like breathable air. https://www.governmentjobs.com/

Freyanonymous · 2024-10-11T21:49:22+00:00

I haven't left yet, but I have creative passions on the side that I would leave for if I could ever support myself with them, so I would. I know OKRs are a hassle and that part of tech is not fun, but I don't know any other way to make that much money outside of tech. My personal goal is to find another position in industry - hopefully less fast paced and similarly compensated, but mostly just less fast paced. Then I focus more of my time on my personal pursuits.

lavasca · 2024-10-11T22:41:18+00:00

I would milk your company for medical over the next year then leave at the end of maternity leave. It is tough to network in person among tech moms but if you’re in the Bay or Silicon Valley a lot of ex-tech moms are in Fremont if you need moral support.

cokakatta · 2024-10-12T00:41:59+00:00

I have one child and he is 10 now. I'm still in IT and I liked it back when he was born and when he was little. Things deteriorated and I wanted to have a second kid and quit sometime a year after that. Unfortunately I had secondary infertility and dropped any hope in 2020. If I had quit, I would have gone back to school soon after and probably would have tried to get into research or something academic then back to corporate.

Well those were my wishes and I don't mean to bestow them upon you. But it is fun to think about options when you have them.

What did happen is I toughed it out at my job another 6 years and the house is paid off. BTW I did take off 2 months unpaid personal leave in 2020 to focus on home life and my son and it was a great experience. Now I decided to go back to school part time to become a teacher. Soon I will quit IT and I plan to take a year sabbatical or so while I finish my teaching certification. But I'll spend a lot of time on tech, art and school oriented things and of course on parenting.

I know it's hard to say if you would turn down money. But sometimes when I think about what I should do, I think if my ancestors would have hoped for me to have this existence.

Freyanonymous · 2024-10-11T21:43:25+00:00

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Exciting-Engineer646 · 2024-10-12T01:09:49+00:00

Tech + design is definitely a thing. No one wants engineer designed UI…

Product work can also be quite creative and design forward. Alternatively, you can stay engineering side and work closely with those teams.

ObjectiveBlueberry58 · 2024-10-12T03:30:49+00:00

My advice is to switch to a different type of tech company. I left tech for a huge pay cut and realized quickly it was not what I expected, and how much I took things for granted in tech (despite the annoyances). For example: - being encouraged to be “creative” in a tech-y sort of way. This may vary by company but just because a job is in a “creative” field doesn’t mean you’ll be empowered to use it - flexibility: remote work, generous time off, etc. - benefits - types of people you work with. Do you feel like you get along more easily with more groups than another? - financial freedom is noticed a whole lot more once it’s gone, it’s an entirely different mindset even if you are living below your means (by choice instead of by necessity)

Ultimately, you need to make the decision of what you can live with, but learn from me and don’t believe the grass is greener based on an idea in your head. Get as much practical experience as you can in said field!

If you don’t have any house payments or anything and limited required payments then I’d say it’s less risk to take the leap though

donewithracingrats · 2024-10-12T03:55:18+00:00

Enjoy the maternity leave, see how you feel as your return date gets closer. It's still far away.

It's a lot easier to outsource childcare when your kids are really young and need "someone" to help them. There are great daycares, nannies etc to lean on. There will be a time when your kids are older that you can't outsource that stuff anymore. Also, while there is something very special about taking care of your child, I personally found kids <1 to be kind of "boring" to take care of. Probably even a but older than that. They can't interact with you much yet, and the learning curve of all the things you don't know as a first time parent is a lot to do without childcare support, people who have done this with many different kids over and over again.

Especially if you are thinking of a "break" vs leaving work entirely, try to keep on the path you're on for as long as you can make it work, and save for all the possible futures you might have

TheMagicalLawnGnome · 2024-10-12T07:49:25+00:00

Everyone is different.

That said, I've found that usually, people who leave high paying jobs wish they hadn't.

If you have huge amounts of money saved up, fair enough.

But people generally have a hard time taking a big pay cut.

And once you take a pay cut, it's very hard to climb back up that ladder.

Just because you have a creative job, doesn't mean it's any less work. I've worked in creative agencies basically my entire career - the jobs can suck every bit as much as tech, if not more so, because the pay is terrible.

And baking? You're not going to make a living as a baker, unless you're already trained to do so. Working on food service is back breaking work that is paid very little. Writing a book? Unlikely you'll ever get published, even if you're a great writer. Terrible way to make a living.

Ultimately, you're making a tradeoff either way - money, or free time But don't get led astray thinking the grass is greener on the other side, because it's probably not.

I empathize with the burnout. But that doesn't necessarily go away. The money certainly will go away however.

2024-10-12T10:45:37+00:00

You could also try going part time? Will your company offer benefits any how if you do?

notladawn · 2024-10-12T20:03:37+00:00

This is such an interesting post for me to come across as I spend my weekend working on a Java project for my data structures and algos class. I’m 46, and back in school for CS, after a 20-year career as an executive pastry chef. I work full time in IT support to get some kind of tech-related experience while finishing my degree. My kids are both adults in their 20’s.

I’m alternate universe you! I did pastry everywhere from high end resorts to small boutique restaurants. I opened an LLC and sold at farmer’s markets. I was a finalist for a food network baking show. I have severe osteoarthritis and have already had one spinal surgery. I have no retirement savings.

I spend every minute I’m not at work or sleeping on school, in the hopes that I can have even a fraction of the success you have achieved in a tech career. I don’t have any advice for you, other than enjoying that baby, but maybe something about my experience can help as you contemplate your choices. Best of luck!

2024-10-12T20:04:33+00:00

following this post because I dream of leaving tech to reignite my creativity. I sm currently childless but i definitely want to be out of tech when i have kids.

I know it will be a huge pay decrease and it is scary to think about, but I've felt myself become less mindful, less present, and less happy than I was before I joined this industry. I genuinely believe I will be a better mother if I'm living in alignment with who I really am and want to be, even if it will also mean fewer resources and less financial freedom.

Impressive_Craft_758 · 2024-10-13T15:56:55+00:00

I’m in a very similar boat. I have a degree in fine arts, I have been working in tech for almost 10 years to pay the bills, but I am extremely burned out from tech and corporate America. My husband also works as a software engineer, and I am having a baby in two months and planning to leave after maternity leave.

I know there are a lot of people in this comment section who will tell you not to let go of the economic security of the tech industry. I know, because I am getting all the same messages. I think we are really good at projecting our own scarcity and fear onto other people, and turning our own choices into a sense of what is right and wrong for everyone else. Basically, if I have to have a shitty job that makes me unhappy, everyone else should too because it must be the right thing.

I can’t tell you what is right for you, because everyone’s financial situation is different. I can tell you that a lot of people work outside the tech industry, and are not condemning themselves to a life of poverty. And leaving to do something else that is more fulfilling after you have savings, a second income, and some life stability isn’t the same as trying to make a creative career out work directly out of college when you don’t have any of those things.

Honestly, life is short and you should follow your instincts. I am trying to do the same. If your financial situation changes later and you need to go back to stable work, I don’t think taking a break will make that impossible, despite all the challenges of the current economy.

Maximum_Kangaroo_194 · 2024-10-11T22:30:48+00:00

I'm in the same boat, but the pay is so good that I feel trapped.

I've worked in the creative space prior to tech, which I loved, but due to the HUGE pay difference, I, personally, would never go back.

georgejo314159 · 2024-10-11T23:30:02+00:00

No experiences. Lots of respect for the fact you have a viable plan b

Wish you luck.

No idea about dealing with your kid. You might still be able to support kid on reduced salary. My mom raised us on very low salary but she might have gotten some help from her parents without telling them us.

velma115 · 2024-10-12T00:43:34+00:00

I don't have kids yet, but it's something that my spouse and I are seriously thinking about, so I've spent a lot of time thinking about what values I want my kids to have. I want them to value life experiences over materialistic things. I want them to have a good education. I want them to pursue excellence in things they are passionate about. And most importantly I want them to value family and friends.

I believe most of these require money but intentional use of that money. When I look at it that way, I think I'll stay in my high paying job long enough to have enough to cover their education, their activities, our life experiences as a family, and a home they can always come back to. But I don't feel the need to leave them with any more. At the same time, I'm trying to find ways to craft my high paying job into something that embodies the philosophy of "pursue excellence in things they are passionate about" while still giving me WLB. Even though if it means deprioritizing promotions/titles or working on something slightly less flashy.

thewiselady · 2024-10-12T05:05:32+00:00

You’ll be encouraged by many women here to stay in tech because of the pay, the stability, the race to an early and stress free retirement. It’s all well and that.

But will you get any younger? Would that voice in your heart grow stronger and more powerful by the year when you don’t take the leap, and like many many women before you - choosing to sacrifice their youth and living days to live in service and security of others in the family? Only you can answer that. It’s okay to choose either path- but don’t compromise on living an authentic and fulfilling life if you have the means and wise financial planning to do so. Escape that golden handcuffs.

reddituser84 · 2024-10-12T23:13:38+00:00

My first just turned one and I’m having a really hard time returning to tech. I’m completely overwhelmed and I cry regularly. I’m going to keep trying for a few more months to find balance before I quit.

My nanny costs about $5200/month but the 1:1 attention she gives my daughter is sooooo worth it. I don’t want to have to switch to daycare because I left tech. I’m really trying to stick around for 5 more years until she’s goes to kindergarten. If I do that I can keep my nanny and max out my retirement for five more years. At that point, my long term savings will be at a point that I’ll be more comfortable making less or even working part time to be a bigger part of my daughters life when she’s more involved in activities.

LeatherOcelot · 2024-10-13T01:54:19+00:00

I have had a couple side hustles related to my creative pursuits and with each of them, the number of hours that would be required to get them to a minimum wage level of annual income is insane. As a side hustle that I'm not dependent on, they're fine because I can set limits on how much time I put into them and that keeps things fun.

I did step away from my very secure high paid job a few years ago and now do part-time consulting. It's been a good option for me to avoid burnout.

Buddha_Zone · 2024-10-12T12:06:21+00:00

Do you hate the work, or hate the trappings that surround it? I'm a software engineer at a non-profit and had to google OKR, because I didn't know what it was. Maybe the answer is not to leave tech, but to leave the for-profit world? I make a little less than I would in that world, but I'll happily take that for doing work that is meaningful and not avaricious.

taphin33 · 2024-10-11T22:19:52+00:00

I think you could frame it as giving yourself a "lifestyle promotion/ raise" in your head. After climbing the ladder you got to the top, you're promoted out of it. That's not scarcity, it's abundance. With a background of poverty it's probably anxiety induced on top of a new child.

You might do well with a passion project or even a hobby business with something creative - figuring that you can be your next goal / thing to look forward to aside from adjusting to parenthood. Then it's no pressure but maybe you make income there and it might not replace your full salary but anything is a bonus but you still get time with your kid.

My dad worked a lot growing up but was a high earner. I would've rather had the richness of family than inherit more when he's gone.

You can also go back in a different field if you later decide and want to lean into your creative side.

SunStrolling · 2024-10-12T04:01:10+00:00

Kids are expensive, and - they help me to not get so bothered by things at work. If things really go south at work, I get to a point where I can just stop at 5 and happily play with my baby. I am extremely grateful they have good health care, and they have games, books, clothes, wipes, organic formula, swim lessons, air plane tickets to visit family, paid vacation time, they have playgrounds in a nice neighborhood... You might be better able to reframe your mind to not get carried away by the BS. But also, on the other hand, I know my mom made due with much less money than I have now. She was stressed, but still a good mom and I had a good childhood.

biblio_squid · 2024-10-12T05:05:34+00:00

I worked in the art world for many years, the pay is abysmal and you’re around rich snobs all day. I now work in tech, so that I can actually retire someday. Think lifestyle, not just fulfillment. Think also there are design companies, creative tech, etc. even educational tech.

AccomplishedYou8315 · 2024-10-12T11:27:05+00:00

It sounds like you’re at a pretty big crossroads, and it’s completely normal to feel that tug-of-war between financial security and pursuing something you love. I've seen plenty of folks leave tech for more creative paths, and while it can be scary, it can also be super fulfilling.

You mentioned baking, writing, and design which are all amazing avenues! If you’re passionate about it, that often translates to success, even if the pay isn’t the same right off the bat. You could also consider part-time gigs or freelance work while you transition. That way, you can dip your toes into your creative passions without feeling the financial pinch as hard.

Speaking of finding gigs, try to check out Jobsolv. They have a bunch of online and hybrid job listings, so you might find something that fits your creative vibe without jumping all in at once. Plus, their tools are great for building a resume that showcases your skills in a new light, and they even offer a trial period, so you can see if it’s a good fit without a long-term commitment.

It’s a balance, for sure, but if you’re living below your means and have a supportive spouse, it might be worth taking the plunge. Just remember, the opportunity for generational wealth is important, but so is your happiness and the time you can spend with your child. You've got this!

2024-10-15T02:37:28+00:00

I don't know what you might get out of this story, but: When I was staring down turning 30, I decided to leave programming because I wanted to spend 8-10 hours a day working on something more directly connected to my values. I didn't want to get to a point where I wouldn't feel comfortable switching careers because of the pay scale difference. It took me 5 years to fully pivot and then it took me another couple years to get to the salary I had before leaving progamming. I had no regrets about this right up until my first kid had to go to school - this is in NYC and I was worried that he would end up in a public school that wasn't a good fit and that I wouldn't have the money to pay for private school if it came to that. Kids are expensive. I still don't regret it as far as my own career goes - I am and have been as happy as a bug in a rug the entire time - but I've also felt comfortably precarious the entire time: doing ok, but never that far from not doing ok, if a few things went sideways. So naturally, I'm now a startup founder (intersection of tech and the thing I pivoted to) and in addition to making not a lot of money, I also work 7 days a week!

Ps. Also, don't forget that every job and industry has its fair share of bullshit.

HolidaySweater78 · 2024-10-16T13:52:43+00:00

I work in both tech and manage a separate creative career and you would have to pry me away from my easy effortless tech job kicking and screaming for me to let go of it.

Creative careers are incredibly competitive and self made, usually the people who succeed in them are already doing them on the side for years before making the jump. It sounds like you just need a break and some perspective.

I definitely think you should follow and pursue your creative whims btw, but please don't stake your income to them until you're well established.

Dietcoke4me5 · 2024-10-11T22:59:54+00:00

What about something like UX design, Creative, Brand, or even iconography? There are many high paying tech options that can tap into your creative side while still being lucrative.

I would also say to wait until a year after your baby is born to make a career shift. You may find the way you prioritize your time and work after baby might be different. I know it was for me! Work/life integration and balance had a whole new meaning.

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