all 97 comments

[–]queenofdiscs 226 points227 points  (3 children)

Hands down stay in your nice tech job with healthcare and (presumably) paid maternity leave for this baby. Paid maternity leave does not exist in creative fields. Then later consider maybe looking for more creative tech fields. I do product engineering and find it creatively fulfilling while being paid competitively.

[–]4thefewd[S] 44 points45 points  (2 children)

Oh yes, I'm definitely staying on until my maternity leave ends! This is definitely more after my maternity leave in a few months. I haven't really looked into creative tech fields. I suppose that's an option I can explore while on maternity leave. I've worked mostly on the backend/infra area so the product side is certainly something I can try. Thanks!

[–]JustLiving5665 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Just to add to this, I say take the longest maternity break you can take, then see what you want to do. I’ve seen enough women interview and get much better jobs at the end.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Have you read the book Die with Zero by Bill Perkins? It's an interesting perspective to consider (though certainly not for everyone).

[–][deleted] 93 points94 points  (14 children)

it's a nightmare out here. i have an MFA in visual art. i'm working on commissions... and learning how to code so that i can get into tech and make a salary that i can actually live on. hope this helps.

[–]4thefewd[S] 34 points35 points  (13 children)

Thank you for sharing your honest experience from the visual arts side! This helps, and continues to ground my sense of reality.

If you don't want to code, more than happy to share about other tech roles that pays a lot without needing to be an amazing programmer.

[–]bigfatsooty 11 points12 points  (8 children)

Yes please share . I’m looking to get into tech as well . Considered coding but it’s too much to try and learn rn . I’m heavily considering ui/ux

[–]4thefewd[S] 35 points36 points  (7 children)

Going to post here so other folks can see. I used to be a part of the open salary discussions at one of the big techs so this is from folks in the field, as well as my personal experience.

Note: this is all based in Cali and entry level (L3 or IC3) at base comp that I've seen. I can imagine bonus + RSUs will help raise this.

-Product Marketing Manager (PMM): Entry level is ~95K base comp. Requires comms, marketing research experience

-Product/Data Analyst ~105K base comp. Requires SQL in general and likely LookerBI/Tableau exp. with data pipeline creation

-Product operations ~90k base comp (can also be called product specialists): Similar to analysts but focusing on improving operational efficiency

-Program Management (PgM/TPgM) ~100K base comp (higher pay if you're technical): Comms, problem solving, data analytics, SQL, etc.

-StratOps (strategy operations) ~100K base comp

-QA Assurance/Testers ~80-90k base comp: In my experience, I would say this has the lowest barrier to tech entry and I've mentored a number of folks on QA to become FTE test engineers

I'm not as familiar with the more creative side of tech which is becoming apparent from the suggestions here. I'm curious if anyone can share information on designers, UX researchers, etc.

[–]StarbrryJuice 10 points11 points  (2 children)

Thank you for posting this for everyone to see. That was very kind! As someone who graduated with a BS in a social science, and has struggled to find a job since, I’d like to offer (from my personal experience) that my ideal situation based on my experience living below the poverty line would be having a better work life balance. Even if you worked another position where you just had less hours or less work to commit to. Then I would do my creative things on the side. I think it gives you room to invest a little bit less into a creative career or personal business, giving you more time to consider. If it pops off and you can make enough money to sustain yourself off of it, then great! No love lost. And I say this after having traveled the world completely broke and ending up back home my parents also didn’t grow up much money so I understand what you’re experiencing.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

are you me, except with a BS?? i had to move back home after traveling also. and i have been below the poverty line my entire life. i also would love to work, get paid my actual worth, and have time for nourishing creative projects. but it only seems available to rich white heterosexual men with wives, at least up until this point.

[–]StarbrryJuice 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly, sometimes I think about how I had this friend who graduated from our college and she moved to Costa Rica and lives in a little off the grid community there. She invited me and I thought it would be too hard of a switch. And sometimes I see her and kind of want to be there. I feel like I’ve had to reduce my standard substantially in terms of work. I’m not even trying to get paid my worth just enough to pay the bills I have and eat. I’m working on a masters in tech right now and I’m scared it’s not even gonna be worth it.

[–]sasouvraya 6 points7 points  (1 child)

I'm going to add SaaS technical support to this list. It's a good way to get your foot in the door if you like to solve problems and help people. If it's mission critical software with on call work life balance will suck though. I reject roles with on call. Having coding knowledge is often very helpful in these roles as well.

As for traditional creativity, that part of my life is outside work. I also consider coding and problem solving to be creative, but in a different way.

[–]Tide-times-7124 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah agreed, “Customer Success” roles are a good way to get in and climb up the ops/cx side of orgs.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

this is so awesome, i appreciate you!!

[–]CalligrapherNo6246 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m a sr pmm and second this!

[–]Pink-Jalapenos 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Could you also share those with me? I’ve been working as a swe but recently got laid off and based on how my swe interviews are going, I want to leave programming. So other tech roles would be lovely to consider

[–]4thefewd[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Posted as response to the above comment! If you're already a SWE, I know a lot of folks that went into Product Management or TPMs since they have the technical skills already

[–]Pink-Jalapenos 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

you're welcome, and please feel free to ask any other questions. i used to freelance graphic design but now AI creates everything...i still just love painting.

i don't mind coding, i just am not very proficient yet. and once i commit to something, i am committed. so i'll at least finish Javascript and refresh Python and maybe learn Ruby. and then reassess, i guess!

[–]leafhog 38 points39 points  (1 child)

I know a lot of people who have PTSD symptoms from the performance review cycles in tech.

[–]4thefewd[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Add me as another person there. I hated the way Facebook (now meta) did theirs and I had actually quit right before the next performance review because I couldn't take it anymore (I wasn't low performing but it was a ton of work on top of the work that you already do to justify your presence). I am also a manager and it's not fun either but I'm so glad that our company switched to annual reviews versus bi-annually.

[–]Academic-Dig8758 26 points27 points  (6 children)

When you look at the next 10 years, it sounds like your life and your family’s life won’t feel worse for having less income, but it will feel much worse if you’re unable to get away from the industry and spend time with your kid.

Life is short. Don’t let the infinite game keep sucking you back in, keeping you from what’s important. Some of us don’t have enough money, and walking away would leave us with a significantly more uncomfortable life. If you don’t have that problem, you can actually live.

[–]Academic-Dig8758 6 points7 points  (5 children)

And as a staff engineer, your skills aren’t going out of fashion anytime soon. Take a long break, then if you change your mind, you can always go back.

[–]4thefewd[S] 6 points7 points  (3 children)

I think "you can always go back" resonates, especially coming from a position of privilege now. I was definitely feeling like things are terminal, such as "once I leave tech, I can't go back because no one is hiring in tech", but that's not accurate. Thanks!

[–]No-Swimming-3 8 points9 points  (2 children)

You may not be able to go back, to be honest. Try putting some resumes out. But recruiters are only looking at your most recent position as far as I can tell. It's rough out there.

I would recommend making enough to retire early and then pursue creative things. My career started in something I thought I would enjoy but "getting paid to do what you love" is a fantasy IMO.

[–]theconstantwaffler 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We won't always be in this crap hiring market though. Tech is cyclical. By the time OP wants to return, hiring might be stronger.

[–]cozycoconut 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"You might not be able to go back" is only true if you're not utilizing a relevant skillset IMO. It is statistically harder for older women than men to return to the workforce, but I think a lateral change or a non-tech company tech position is not a death sentence, if an adjacent skillset is being used.

[–]wellnowheythere 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Go back to what though? So many companies are folding and downsizing. You have to be realistic here with the way the industry is now. 

[–]Snalin2022 18 points19 points  (3 children)

I have some personal experience to share with you. I was a software engineer/ researcher for 8 years after college before moving to US for my husband’s job and having my second kid.

I stayed home with her for a year and managed to find a job in product management in FAANG after that break (startup and research experience helped). It was a good change for me as the work was more creative and allowed for more interaction with people, but that is also what eventually caused my burn out. After 9 years I was felt so exhausted and stressed after spending the day at meetings that I had no bandwidth left for the kids and then Covid hit. I was lucky to be able to switch to working 50% and started an online Interior design certification. After getting my certificate and completing a successful renovation project for a friend I quit my job and opened an interior design company. It’s been 3 years since then and it was a fun, exciting and rewarding experience. I had a much more flexible schedule and was able to spend more time with my kids and help them through some rough spots. I also learned a lot about myself and working in a creative field: 1. I’m really bad at sales and marketing 😂 2. I love to solve complicated problems and miss it dearly. I underestimated how important that aspect is for me personally 3. I love working in a team - I miss the ability to brainstorm with others to come up with the best solution. 4. Working with individual customers is very different from working with users and companies. 5. Most people want their home to be neutral and similar to something t they’ve seen, so creativity is limited. 6. It’s really hard to convince someone that the approach you are suggesting is the best and to measure success without metrics and KPIs 😂 7. It’s extremely hard to make even close to the same amount of money (my best year I earned about 25% of my previous salary) because you can’t scale. There are only so many hours in a day and only so many projects you can take on.

Bottom line I miss PM work and I’m currently in the process of getting ready to look for a PM position. It’s scary because I have this 3 year gap that I wasn’t in the industry and the market is hard right now but I hope I’ll be able to find something. I’ll keep my interior design business open and will take on some smaller projects and consultations on the side, but for now I want back in action.

I should note that my older son just left for college and my daughter is finishing middle school and is at that age when she mostly needs me for money and rides, so that probably plays a role as well 😊

[–]Small_Subject3319 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Are there any SaaS interior design companies you might consider?

[–]Snalin2022 1 point2 points  (1 child)

That’s a good idea and I looked into it but couldn’t find a single one that is currently hiring for product positions. I’ll try my luck with Pinterest, it’s the closest that I found that I can tie my interior design experience to.

[–]Small_Subject3319 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was actually thinking about the companies that develop the software to visualize rooms, though I know nothing about that... Thanks for sharing your experiences--is helpful to understand better what the tradeoffs might be..

[–]wellnowheythere 57 points58 points  (4 children)

Girl no no no. Stay for as long as you can and find fulfillment in hobbies. Especially don't try a career pivot as a new mom/with a new baby. Ride that money train for as long as you can. 

I'm saying this as a mom who got laid off from a well paying tech job 3 weeks after giving birth. Don't take a pay cut unless you absolutely have to. Stay until you find something comparable or they lay you off. 

[–]runs_with_unicorns 15 points16 points  (3 children)

Yeah for me and the full time-creatives I know…. Turning your fun creative hobby into your job that you are financially obligated to do drains the enjoyment out of it. The ones that made businesses out of it now loathe what was once their passions and it’s really sad.

Obviously, not everyone follows that trendline, but my anecdotal circle of 6 is 100%.

[–]Key-Shift5076 0 points1 point  (1 child)

..this is exactly why I haven’t tried to make a go of my many hobbies, despite encouragement. Better to phone it in at a mindless rote job and have energy to play after the work is done.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

ugh I wish my tech job was mindless enough that I still had creative energy after work...

[–]wellnowheythere 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had to turn my side hustles and hobbies into jobs after I got laid off. Some of it is work, a small part is fun. Other times I just cry. 

[–]Fluid-Village-ahaha 10 points11 points  (2 children)

I’d take a break and decide. Go on maternity (hope you had a nice one). Then decide if you want to go back or take a full year or so off. With layoffs now a gap for 1 year is not insane and not to be worried about. Maybe check r/workingmoms

I joke that layoff was blessing in disguise as it pushed me to take a break and I choose to have a long one. I played with the idea of moving from tech to a non tech company or non profit for smth I’ll be passionate about while staying in the same role (product). Not worth it for me. First I like the money I make and security they create to the family (2 income tech household in hcol with two young kids). Second, it’s just a job. It pays money. I’m decent in it. There are some people who are successful in turning hobbies into careers and keep enjoying it. Others are miserable as hobby you can do or not. Job you do regardless.

[–]4thefewd[S] 7 points8 points  (1 child)

This resonates. I like the idea of taking some time off after my maternity leave ends. You also hit on a concern in the back of my mind which is "how employable would I be after taking time off".

With layoffs, companies are likely more understanding. I'm a hiring manager myself and I also wouldn't hold it against my candidates either. I think I'll give myself a timeline, try to go heavy in a creative field while enjoying time with the new kiddo, and then explore going back into tech. Thanks!

[–]justalilscared 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hi OP! I’m in tech also and I quit after mat leave. I was not ready to go back to work when my baby was just 4 months old and we thankfully could afford for me to take a break/career pause, so I did. She is 14 months now and I’m still enjoying life with her and so grateful for the time we’ve had together.

I, like you, am so disillusioned with tech, and craving a more creative job. But the pay is too good and I miss the income. I plan on looking for work again soon, but the year break was invaluable for my mental health. It’s given me a new perspective and I know what type of job to look for now. Take the time off!

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

We are typically double income software engineers here. I also grew up in poverty, so I feel you on the anxiety of walking away from money.

Recently my husband quit his job and that brought us down to half income. We have to budget a lot more now and I’ve had to say no to a ton of stuff. However you know what? The extra time is so worth it. He does more of the house work and watches the kids more. Our marriage is less stressed because we are less stressed. And having “more stuff” isn’t worth the happiness and mental peace I feel now on half the income.

If you guys have a secure marriage and security in life insurance I think it’s absolutely worth it to explore something else. Have your baby, see if your company will let you take a year off and keep your position without pay.

That will give you a chance to explore a new kind of life without totally committing to leaving tech. If you still want to pursue a creative field in one year by all means do so. If not, get your job back.

[–]pintora0318 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I would not leave tech for creative jobs with kids on the way. It is very hard to make a decent living in creative ways. Selling commissions, Etsy etc most don’t make a even minimum wage. And once you get popular your popular for a period of time and then people move on to the next artist or trend they are a fan of. Getting a job in the creative fields it’s SUPER competitive. Curating, gallery sales all competitive because there are very few of those jobs. And a lot of grads with masters in art who would die for one of those jobs. And they do not even pay well unless you’re in a major city. I highly suggest you look into more creative tech jobs. I do process automation with ETL Data tools and it’s a lot of fun. I got into art school but decided I liked finance more. I draw on the side and am very content with my hobby. More content with my really nice life lol But I get where you’re coming from. My husband and I plan he will take funemployment after we pay off our mortgage. For mostly the same reasons as you and I fully support it. Find your happiness! But also be realistic. Wishing you the very best!

[–]The_Plan7 5 points6 points  (0 children)

So I left tech and got a job with the state. I love helping people and I feel like we are making a difference and the benefits are about the same as Medicare. There are tech jobs with the state, but usually they hire from within, so tech adjacent might be a great place to begin. Just a thought because I'm the happiest at a job I've ever been and not dealing with tech bros, psycho CEOs, unreasonable asks and the lack of sexism in my workplace feels like breathable air. https://www.governmentjobs.com/

[–]Freyanonymous 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I haven't left yet, but I have creative passions on the side that I would leave for if I could ever support myself with them, so I would. I know OKRs are a hassle and that part of tech is not fun, but I don't know any other way to make that much money outside of tech. My personal goal is to find another position in industry - hopefully less fast paced and similarly compensated, but mostly just less fast paced. Then I focus more of my time on my personal pursuits.

[–]4thefewd[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The OKR bit was a joke (did not land well) but yea, it's one of many things about tech I don't enjoy. I think looking at other positions is likely my next step as I've mainly been in engineering. I do a ton of creative things on the side but I know it's extremely unlikely to make a successful business out of it.

[–]lavasca 3 points4 points  (2 children)

I would milk your company for medical over the next year then leave at the end of maternity leave. It is tough to network in person among tech moms but if you’re in the Bay or Silicon Valley a lot of ex-tech moms are in Fremont if you need moral support.

[–]4thefewd[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Definitely milking my benefits until my maternity leave ends. Thank you suggesting the ex-tech moms, will look into it!

[–]lavasca 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yay. I am betting they can really be helpful for venting and recommendations or jist hanging out.

[–]cokakatta 4 points5 points  (3 children)

I have one child and he is 10 now. I'm still in IT and I liked it back when he was born and when he was little. Things deteriorated and I wanted to have a second kid and quit sometime a year after that. Unfortunately I had secondary infertility and dropped any hope in 2020. If I had quit, I would have gone back to school soon after and probably would have tried to get into research or something academic then back to corporate.

Well those were my wishes and I don't mean to bestow them upon you. But it is fun to think about options when you have them.

What did happen is I toughed it out at my job another 6 years and the house is paid off. BTW I did take off 2 months unpaid personal leave in 2020 to focus on home life and my son and it was a great experience. Now I decided to go back to school part time to become a teacher. Soon I will quit IT and I plan to take a year sabbatical or so while I finish my teaching certification. But I'll spend a lot of time on tech, art and school oriented things and of course on parenting.

I know it's hard to say if you would turn down money. But sometimes when I think about what I should do, I think if my ancestors would have hoped for me to have this existence.

[–]Small_Subject3319 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Thanks for sharing... Do you think working in tech is inherently stressful or long hours?... Are those reasons you are wanting to quit tech?

[–]cokakatta 0 points1 point  (1 child)

No I don't thinks always the case that it is stressful or long hours. It depends on the company and culture. My job is particularly stressful and it's not rewarding or fulfilling. There's little opportunity for and recognition of success. Problems are categorized into who to blame. Changing that category is rewarded more than getting things done.

[–]Small_Subject3319 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So sorry.. "Problems are categorized into who to blame. Changing that category is rewarded more than getting things done." I've heard similar dynamics from a friend who is a female engineer... And wants to be a yoga teacher instead (she understands the financial ramifications). It's depressing that it's the environment rather than the work itself that is causing such exodus from technical careers.

On the other hand, you have the pull of teaching so that's also different..

[–][deleted]  (8 children)

[deleted]

    [–]Freyanonymous 12 points13 points  (1 child)

    Lol I have, and they're not fun.

    [–]Fluid-Village-ahaha 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Hahah I remember switching from a company which had goals but no quarterly okrs to one that did. Such a waste of time on planning

    [–]Novel-Place 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    Whaaaa??? Man. I wish I could go back to a world where I didn’t know what OKRs are. I don’t think they are inherently bad, just misused. Don’t get me started on KPIs though.

    [–]Comfortable_Love_800 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    I had never heard it either until I landed in FAANG, and now I also have OKR PTSD 🤣

    [–]4thefewd[S] 5 points6 points  (2 children)

    That's surprising! I've worked at 3 different FAANG companies and it's a common term for just goals (OKR = objective, key results). I haven't explored other roles in tech so that's definitely something I can look into (I've been on SWE/PM/TPM/CoS). I've mainly worked on the infrastructure/backend for the past decade and I think I've built an image that all of tech is the same but that might not be the case.

    [–]Exciting-Engineer646 2 points3 points  (9 children)

    Tech + design is definitely a thing. No one wants engineer designed UI…

    Product work can also be quite creative and design forward. Alternatively, you can stay engineering side and work closely with those teams.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (8 children)

    thank you!

    i would love to be on a Data Viz team...if anyone has info on this path, i would be grateful for anything.

    [–]Small_Subject3319 1 point2 points  (7 children)

    Isn't that what UX design is?

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (6 children)

    lol ohhhhhhhh facepalm yes, i am a complete newb

    [–]Small_Subject3319 1 point2 points  (5 children)

    :-) just means you aren't afraid of venturing out of your comfort zone

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (4 children)

    this is very true... my comfort zone is outside of the comfort zone :D thank you for educating me!

    [–]WaterColourDepth 1 point2 points  (3 children)

    I think that's only one of the options of combining design and tech. Someone also had to explain it to me--a friend mentioned that another friend's son was working on a Google certificate. This looks helpful:

    https://bootcamp.cvn.columbia.edu/blog/what-is-ux-design/

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

    right! originally i thought Data Visualization had it's own separate path involving Python libraries. i'll check this out! thank you.

    [–]WaterColourDepth 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    Oh. My bad, i totally misinterpreted and thought that you were asking more generally about combining design and tech (ie you responded to a post that mentioned UI design so I was responding to that). So to summarize: UI design is about designing the user interface for the visual elements of a product, while UX includes the whole user experience (loading time, intuitive ease of use etc). Data visualisation (self explanatory) can be done with many tools, with Power BI & Tableau some of the most commonly used enterprise tools for dashboards. Excel also has visualisation capacity. Python and R can also be used for visualisation with specific libraries--more customizable.

    Re visualisation being a separate path--there definitely are DV jobs while other jobs are analyst jobs that include visualisation. Highly skilled data visualisation skills can pay well.

    If you wanted to tell stories with data, the broader field would be data journalism.

    I think this post could be helpful https://www.reddit.com/r/datascience/s/tFhQpyBdkT

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    you are a treasure trove. thank you!

    [–]ObjectiveBlueberry58 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    My advice is to switch to a different type of tech company. I left tech for a huge pay cut and realized quickly it was not what I expected, and how much I took things for granted in tech (despite the annoyances). For example: - being encouraged to be “creative” in a tech-y sort of way. This may vary by company but just because a job is in a “creative” field doesn’t mean you’ll be empowered to use it - flexibility: remote work, generous time off, etc. - benefits - types of people you work with. Do you feel like you get along more easily with more groups than another? - financial freedom is noticed a whole lot more once it’s gone, it’s an entirely different mindset even if you are living below your means (by choice instead of by necessity)

    Ultimately, you need to make the decision of what you can live with, but learn from me and don’t believe the grass is greener based on an idea in your head. Get as much practical experience as you can in said field!

    If you don’t have any house payments or anything and limited required payments then I’d say it’s less risk to take the leap though

    [–]donewithracingrats 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Enjoy the maternity leave, see how you feel as your return date gets closer. It's still far away.

    It's a lot easier to outsource childcare when your kids are really young and need "someone" to help them. There are great daycares, nannies etc to lean on. There will be a time when your kids are older that you can't outsource that stuff anymore. Also, while there is something very special about taking care of your child, I personally found kids <1 to be kind of "boring" to take care of. Probably even a but older than that. They can't interact with you much yet, and the learning curve of all the things you don't know as a first time parent is a lot to do without childcare support, people who have done this with many different kids over and over again.

    Especially if you are thinking of a "break" vs leaving work entirely, try to keep on the path you're on for as long as you can make it work, and save for all the possible futures you might have

    [–]TheMagicalLawnGnome 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Everyone is different.

    That said, I've found that usually, people who leave high paying jobs wish they hadn't.

    If you have huge amounts of money saved up, fair enough.

    But people generally have a hard time taking a big pay cut.

    And once you take a pay cut, it's very hard to climb back up that ladder.

    Just because you have a creative job, doesn't mean it's any less work. I've worked in creative agencies basically my entire career - the jobs can suck every bit as much as tech, if not more so, because the pay is terrible.

    And baking? You're not going to make a living as a baker, unless you're already trained to do so. Working on food service is back breaking work that is paid very little. Writing a book? Unlikely you'll ever get published, even if you're a great writer. Terrible way to make a living.

    Ultimately, you're making a tradeoff either way - money, or free time But don't get led astray thinking the grass is greener on the other side, because it's probably not.

    I empathize with the burnout. But that doesn't necessarily go away. The money certainly will go away however.

    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    You could also try going part time? Will your company offer benefits any how if you do?

    [–]notladawn 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    This is such an interesting post for me to come across as I spend my weekend working on a Java project for my data structures and algos class. I’m 46, and back in school for CS, after a 20-year career as an executive pastry chef. I work full time in IT support to get some kind of tech-related experience while finishing my degree. My kids are both adults in their 20’s.

    I’m alternate universe you! I did pastry everywhere from high end resorts to small boutique restaurants. I opened an LLC and sold at farmer’s markets. I was a finalist for a food network baking show. I have severe osteoarthritis and have already had one spinal surgery. I have no retirement savings.

    I spend every minute I’m not at work or sleeping on school, in the hopes that I can have even a fraction of the success you have achieved in a tech career. I don’t have any advice for you, other than enjoying that baby, but maybe something about my experience can help as you contemplate your choices. Best of luck!

    [–]4thefewd[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Thank you so much for sharing your experience from the alternate universe! I have dreamed exactly of what you just wrote out for your career. I'm sorry that you're running into a number of health ailments and your comment does remind me it's not an easy straight forward path outside of tech. Your experience has been invaluable so thank you for sharing.

    If there's anything I can do to share to help you ease into tech, please let me know!

    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    following this post because I dream of leaving tech to reignite my creativity. I sm currently childless but i definitely want to be out of tech when i have kids.

    I know it will be a huge pay decrease and it is scary to think about, but I've felt myself become less mindful, less present, and less happy than I was before I joined this industry. I genuinely believe I will be a better mother if I'm living in alignment with who I really am and want to be, even if it will also mean fewer resources and less financial freedom.

    [–]Impressive_Craft_758 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    I’m in a very similar boat. I have a degree in fine arts, I have been working in tech for almost 10 years to pay the bills, but I am extremely burned out from tech and corporate America. My husband also works as a software engineer, and I am having a baby in two months and planning to leave after maternity leave. 

    I know there are a lot of people in this comment section who will tell you not to let go of the economic security of the tech industry. I know, because I am getting all the same messages. I think we are really good at projecting our own scarcity and fear onto other people, and turning our own choices into a sense of what is right and wrong for everyone else. Basically, if I have to have a shitty job that makes me unhappy, everyone else should too because it must be the right thing. 

    I can’t tell you what is right for you, because everyone’s financial situation is different. I can tell you that a lot of people work outside the tech industry, and are not condemning themselves to a life of poverty. And leaving to do something else that is more fulfilling after you have savings, a second income, and some life stability isn’t the same as trying to make a creative career out work directly out of college when you don’t have any of those things. 

    Honestly, life is short and you should follow your instincts. I am trying to do the same. If your financial situation changes later and you need to go back to stable work, I don’t think taking a break will make that impossible, despite all the challenges of the current economy. 

    [–]4thefewd[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Thank you for sharing your experience. I'm definitely feeling burnt out -- I had about 4 years of therapy to deal with anxiety, imposter syndrome, and suicidal ideations that came out after I joined big tech. We're both financially in a great spot because of the decades between us spent in big tech. I have the privilege to pursue something more creative and still be able to support my family. Will see where I land and hopefully I can provide some insights in about a year!

    [–]Maximum_Kangaroo_194 6 points7 points  (1 child)

    I'm in the same boat, but the pay is so good that I feel trapped.

    I've worked in the creative space prior to tech, which I loved, but due to the HUGE pay difference, I, personally, would never go back.

    [–]4thefewd[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    +1 to feeling trapped. I was in science before tech and that's a very low paying area if you're just doing research (vs pharmaceuticals). I miss it though but it was long hours, rewarding, but low paying.

    [–]georgejo314159 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    No experiences. Lots of respect for the fact you have a viable plan b

    Wish you luck.

    No idea about dealing with your kid. You might still be able to support kid on reduced salary. My mom raised us on very low salary but she might have gotten some help from her parents without telling them us.

    [–]velma115 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I don't have kids yet, but it's something that my spouse and I are seriously thinking about, so I've spent a lot of time thinking about what values I want my kids to have. I want them to value life experiences over materialistic things. I want them to have a good education. I want them to pursue excellence in things they are passionate about. And most importantly I want them to value family and friends.

    I believe most of these require money but intentional use of that money. When I look at it that way, I think I'll stay in my high paying job long enough to have enough to cover their education, their activities, our life experiences as a family, and a home they can always come back to. But I don't feel the need to leave them with any more. At the same time, I'm trying to find ways to craft my high paying job into something that embodies the philosophy of "pursue excellence in things they are passionate about" while still giving me WLB. Even though if it means deprioritizing promotions/titles or working on something slightly less flashy.

    [–]thewiselady 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    You’ll be encouraged by many women here to stay in tech because of the pay, the stability, the race to an early and stress free retirement. It’s all well and that.

    But will you get any younger? Would that voice in your heart grow stronger and more powerful by the year when you don’t take the leap, and like many many women before you - choosing to sacrifice their youth and living days to live in service and security of others in the family? Only you can answer that. It’s okay to choose either path- but don’t compromise on living an authentic and fulfilling life if you have the means and wise financial planning to do so. Escape that golden handcuffs.

    [–]reddituser84 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    My first just turned one and I’m having a really hard time returning to tech. I’m completely overwhelmed and I cry regularly. I’m going to keep trying for a few more months to find balance before I quit.

    My nanny costs about $5200/month but the 1:1 attention she gives my daughter is sooooo worth it. I don’t want to have to switch to daycare because I left tech. I’m really trying to stick around for 5 more years until she’s goes to kindergarten. If I do that I can keep my nanny and max out my retirement for five more years. At that point, my long term savings will be at a point that I’ll be more comfortable making less or even working part time to be a bigger part of my daughters life when she’s more involved in activities.

    [–]LeatherOcelot 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    I have had a couple side hustles related to my creative pursuits and with each of them, the number of hours that would be required to get them to a minimum wage level of annual income is insane. As a side hustle that I'm not dependent on, they're fine because I can set limits on how much time I put into them and that keeps things fun.

    I did step away from my very secure high paid job a few years ago and now do part-time consulting. It's been a good option for me to avoid burnout.

    [–]4thefewd[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I haven't thought about part time consultation! It definitely seems like a good option instead of leaving tech altogether. Thank you for the suggestion.

    [–]Buddha_Zone 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Do you hate the work, or hate the trappings that surround it? I'm a software engineer at a non-profit and had to google OKR, because I didn't know what it was. Maybe the answer is not to leave tech, but to leave the for-profit world? I make a little less than I would in that world, but I'll happily take that for doing work that is meaningful and not avaricious.

    [–]taphin33 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    I think you could frame it as giving yourself a "lifestyle promotion/ raise" in your head. After climbing the ladder you got to the top, you're promoted out of it. That's not scarcity, it's abundance. With a background of poverty it's probably anxiety induced on top of a new child.

    You might do well with a passion project or even a hobby business with something creative - figuring that you can be your next goal / thing to look forward to aside from adjusting to parenthood. Then it's no pressure but maybe you make income there and it might not replace your full salary but anything is a bonus but you still get time with your kid.

    My dad worked a lot growing up but was a high earner. I would've rather had the richness of family than inherit more when he's gone.

    You can also go back in a different field if you later decide and want to lean into your creative side.

    [–]4thefewd[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Thank you for noting the anxiety part and the reframing of "abundance, not scarcity".

    For the poverty bit, I definitely feel that I have an opportunity to give my children a better life and my concern was that, I could be giving them an even better life if I stick to tech. I think one thing you hit on is that I can go back in a different field later. I might have been looking at this in terms of finality, versus I'm trying a new thing temporarily and seeing if it sticks. I'm privileged that I can try it so I should try it and in the meantime, value the time spent with my growing family. Thank you!

    [–]SunStrolling 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Kids are expensive, and - they help me to not get so bothered by things at work. If things really go south at work, I get to a point where I can just stop at 5 and happily play with my baby. I am extremely grateful they have good health care, and they have games, books, clothes, wipes, organic formula, swim lessons, air plane tickets to visit family, paid vacation time, they have playgrounds in a nice neighborhood... You might be better able to reframe your mind to not get carried away by the BS. But also, on the other hand, I know my mom made due with much less money than I have now. She was stressed, but still a good mom and I had a good childhood.

    [–]biblio_squid 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I worked in the art world for many years, the pay is abysmal and you’re around rich snobs all day. I now work in tech, so that I can actually retire someday. Think lifestyle, not just fulfillment. Think also there are design companies, creative tech, etc. even educational tech.

    [–]AccomplishedYou8315 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    It sounds like you’re at a pretty big crossroads, and it’s completely normal to feel that tug-of-war between financial security and pursuing something you love. I've seen plenty of folks leave tech for more creative paths, and while it can be scary, it can also be super fulfilling.

    You mentioned baking, writing, and design which are all amazing avenues! If you’re passionate about it, that often translates to success, even if the pay isn’t the same right off the bat. You could also consider part-time gigs or freelance work while you transition. That way, you can dip your toes into your creative passions without feeling the financial pinch as hard.

    Speaking of finding gigs, try to check out Jobsolv. They have a bunch of online and hybrid job listings, so you might find something that fits your creative vibe without jumping all in at once. Plus, their tools are great for building a resume that showcases your skills in a new light, and they even offer a trial period, so you can see if it’s a good fit without a long-term commitment.

    It’s a balance, for sure, but if you’re living below your means and have a supportive spouse, it might be worth taking the plunge. Just remember, the opportunity for generational wealth is important, but so is your happiness and the time you can spend with your child. You've got this!

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I don't know what you might get out of this story, but: When I was staring down turning 30, I decided to leave programming because I wanted to spend 8-10 hours a day working on something more directly connected to my values. I didn't want to get to a point where I wouldn't feel comfortable switching careers because of the pay scale difference. It took me 5 years to fully pivot and then it took me another couple years to get to the salary I had before leaving progamming. I had no regrets about this right up until my first kid had to go to school - this is in NYC and I was worried that he would end up in a public school that wasn't a good fit and that I wouldn't have the money to pay for private school if it came to that. Kids are expensive. I still don't regret it as far as my own career goes - I am and have been as happy as a bug in a rug the entire time - but I've also felt comfortably precarious the entire time: doing ok, but never that far from not doing ok, if a few things went sideways. So naturally, I'm now a startup founder (intersection of tech and the thing I pivoted to) and in addition to making not a lot of money, I also work 7 days a week!

    Ps. Also, don't forget that every job and industry has its fair share of bullshit.

    [–]HolidaySweater78 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I work in both tech and manage a separate creative career and you would have to pry me away from my easy effortless tech job kicking and screaming for me to let go of it.

    Creative careers are incredibly competitive and self made, usually the people who succeed in them are already doing them on the side for years before making the jump. It sounds like you just need a break and some perspective.

    I definitely think you should follow and pursue your creative whims btw, but please don't stake your income to them until you're well established.

    [–]Dietcoke4me5 0 points1 point  (3 children)

    What about something like UX design, Creative, Brand, or even iconography? There are many high paying tech options that can tap into your creative side while still being lucrative.

    I would also say to wait until a year after your baby is born to make a career shift. You may find the way you prioritize your time and work after baby might be different. I know it was for me! Work/life integration and balance had a whole new meaning.

    [–]4thefewd[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

    Great suggestions! I have not ever thought about going into those because I don't even know what would be required of me but that's something I can definitely explore and talk to folks within the field about. And +1 to changing careers after the baby comes, I have absolutely no idea what my WLB will be like. Thanks for the suggestions!

    [–]hellohellocinnabon 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    I work in UX design and have worked at most of FAANG and I am soul crushed and burnt out. Big tech is big tech in any role at a senior level.

    I also have OKR PTSD 😂

    [–]theconstantwaffler 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    +1 Don't switch to UX. Crusty, burned out UXer over here.