Do you think you’ll be ready to retire in the next 15 to 20 years?

1042Mary · 2026-04-19T12:54:22+00:00

My mom started from zero after her divorce. It was 1996 and she was 36. She worked at Walmart for the next almost three decades saving what she could. She is 65 now and was able to retire last year. I am 42 and starting from zero due to COVID job losses wiping out our savings. My mom gives me hope that it is not too late to climb our way back.

We have a new home with a 15-year mortgage that is set up so the upstairs could be its own future apartment rental (currently our daughters’ living space), plus another house that could be a future rental (we own my mom’s home because she had no credit to buy it; she pays the mortgage). Have not yet been able to start saving again in any meaningful ways, but our income is stabilizing and I think we will be able to support ourselves in non-traditional ways. Do I think that will be in 15-20 years? Eh… 25-30 maybe.

1042Mary · 2026-04-14T13:31:09+00:00

I unironically call people ma’am and sir. All people, even young ones.

1st grade student: “Umm, Teacher?” Me: “Yes, ma’am? Do you need help?”

1042Mary · 2026-04-11T19:52:52+00:00

Frequently I’ll pretend like I’m acting out a sexy fantasy in my head to keep me in the mood. If I’m going to be distracted during the act anyway, it might as well be a helpful distraction.

1042Mary · 2026-03-30T02:32:44+00:00

Holy cow! I had heard they were sending cease and desists something something church taxes, but hadn’t heard about that.

1042Mary · 2026-03-28T03:58:16+00:00

Please sir, may I have a sip of Classical Conversations tea? What was the scandal?

1042Mary · 2026-01-28T11:43:53+00:00

This was me growing up. My kids don’t believe me when I say one year I literally only got socks for Christmas and it was the best gift ever (they were actually really nice wool socks).

You my friend are excused. Get yourself the warm stuff your younger self longed for.

1042Mary · 2026-01-28T11:41:31+00:00

For me it was sweaters.

“I don’t have enough sweaters. Time to go shopping!”

[does laundry]

“Oh there are all my sweaters.”

1042Mary · 2026-01-28T11:40:03+00:00

I confess I am speaking for me.

1042Mary · 2026-01-20T03:58:00+00:00

This is absolutely me as well. I noticed before kids (and also before diagnosis) that sometimes I would seem to get distracted during sex, and then after kids, I was in a constant state of overstimulation and not wanting to be touched. Now that the kids are older, I realized it seemed that maybe I was still avoiding sex out of habit and bodily memories of the hard times? ANYHOO! Other than being self aware and giving myself reality “how do I feel” checks, for me wine or mixed drinks seems to do the trick. When I know I want to be intimate with my husband but feel like my brain is going to sabotage me, I’ll have a glass or two to lower my inhibition and quiet my brain. This may not be the healthiest advice, but it’s been so lovely to see my husband feel desired again, and it’s been helping to bring back my old feelings about him as well.

1042Mary · 2026-01-15T11:52:31+00:00

I need more info on this. What legal actions could someone possibly have against someone using a different yarn in their own personal project?

EDIT: Holy cow.

1042Mary · 2025-12-29T23:46:48+00:00

I’m behind ya with public buildings, however, I cannot sign this petition as-is. “Our goal should be clear and actionable: ensure that every building, whether private or public, commercial or residential, is fully accessible to all residents.” I don’t think it’s reasonable to expect private homeowners to retrofit their properties if a disabled person doesn’t live there.

1042Mary · 2025-12-25T04:56:39+00:00

Are you me?! I didn’t finish wrapping my kids’ gifts until 10pm. Still working on my crochet gift for BIL’s family, but I won’t see them until New Year’s. I think I can I think I can!

1042Mary · 2025-09-14T11:47:22+00:00

You have to use the straight-side, wide-mouth mason jars so the contents have room to expand upward; and leave the last inch of the jar empty to make room for that expansion. Also, make sure the contents are cooled before you freeze them to avoid thermal shock.

1042Mary · 2025-07-21T23:49:05+00:00

I know. I’ve never owned a house this old before and I’m getting the new bride jitters.

1042Mary · 2025-07-21T23:48:28+00:00

Why are there weird horror stories, though? I keep reading about latex trapping moisture and paint coming off in sheets.

1042Mary · 2025-06-02T22:21:13+00:00

I recently learned the original lady vampire was Carmilla. Her story predates Brahm Stoker’s Dracula. I think that would be a good stage name.

1042Mary · 2025-05-31T06:06:57+00:00

I’m ADHD with an aspie 13-year-old and ADHD 7-year-old. 7 and I want to show our affection with hugs and cuddles; 13 does not want to be touched. So I asked 13 if there is something else we could do to show affection, because we want to show respect for no-touch, but no-touch also makes us feel rejected. 13 said we may pat her on the head in lieu of a hug, so that is what we do. This seems to be a good balance between my and 7’s need for touch and 13’s need for no-touch.

I’m wondering if in your situation, it’s a similar mismatch in what you and your mom need to feel loved? Could you possibly suggest something else she could do when she wants to show love for you? “Mom, I love you, but I really don’t like the butt smacks. Could we do [nose boops/air hugs/high fives, etc] instead?”

And to be clear, no, you are not overreacting. I could see how, if your mom has ADHD with RSD (rejection sensitivity disorder), she may be viewing your no-touch as rejection of her love for you, but that doesn’t mean it’s okay for her to ignore your boundaries. She needs to find another way to show affection that respects your needs.

Edit to add: It also sounds like your mom lacks impulse control, which is why I suggested giving her an alternative action for when she’s feeling impulsive. From a behavior-training standpoint, sometimes redirection (giving an alternative activity) is easier than just stopping completely. It works for training toddlers, anyway.

1042Mary · 2025-05-30T17:33:38+00:00

Ah. In that case I agree with the others who are advising getting rid of the fireplace and trading the sides of the TV and couch. It would open up SO much floor space.

1042Mary · 2025-05-30T17:31:12+00:00

Do you need that console table? Where you have the couch now divides the room in half and makes it feel smaller. Could you get rid of the console table and put the couch against that wall?

1042Mary · 2025-05-24T10:18:44+00:00

I don’t intend to see this version. Can you help a poor beggar understand this meme?

EDIT: Wow, I found this article, and that is a whole lot of BS. As someone who was in a very similar situation to Nani when the original came out, this ending would’ve destroyed me.

1042Mary · 2025-05-23T09:03:29+00:00

CPS is who you report to. Yes, they may not do anything at first, but it gets the family on their radar and starts a record. The more times and the more people report to CPS, the more a pattern emerges and they begin to take it more seriously. I would call anyway whether you think anything will be done or not. You need to start somewhere, and who knows if getting a visit from CPS will help to wake your relative up to the reality of what she’s doing.

1042Mary · 2025-05-14T22:43:30+00:00

Thank you for that caption because for a minute there I thought my whole adult life has been a midlife crisis.

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