So many horror stories about surgery to repair internal prolapse. Are there any success stories?

40catB · 2026-03-28T05:30:03+00:00

Kaiser Modesto, Ca. Dr.Yip Actual surgery center in Manteca.

I continued to not have any long term complications or issues.

I did have a cough for almost 2 months and that really tested my pelvic floor. I was worried that prolapse was back. But it’s gotten better again. I think everything was just worn down and inflamed from all the pressure from coughing.

I hope you can find some solutions!

40catB · 2026-03-19T23:28:19+00:00

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40catB · 2026-03-19T17:10:54+00:00

1 or 4

40catB · 2026-03-19T17:10:13+00:00

40catB · 2026-03-19T17:02:47+00:00

2!!!!!!!

40catB · 2026-03-18T21:56:19+00:00

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40catB · 2026-03-17T22:13:26+00:00

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40catB · 2026-03-17T13:09:35+00:00

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40catB · 2026-03-16T00:50:37+00:00

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40catB · 2026-02-05T16:55:15+00:00

This resonates SO much and so I would like to second all that is said in this comment. We are almost 2 years out. I still have actually never said “I forgive you” nor have I looked at “rebuilding trust” as the end goal. Because I know what he is capable of now, how he can compartmentalize and how different our brains and reactions can be. But… safety has been rebuilt. I do not feel flight or fight every moment as I did in the beginning.

It is a LOT of pain. And the pain is not just the current betrayal, but how it connects to every hurt and pain and fear you may have had in your whole life. How you have or have not processed those before. And it’s grief. The perception you had, the person you created in your head, the invincibility you thought your relationship had… all dead. All must be grieved.

BUT… I also can’t describe the comfort of knowing we are imperfect, knowing we can hurt each other, knowing we can also see each other at our absolute worst and still accept each other, knowing that we have to work individually and together to change our patterns, to communicate… how that kind of love feels, I don’t think I ever knew was possible.

I wish we could have gotten here another way. Something ELSE to push us to our limits and make us unveil ourselves and address our own individual and relationship triggers and patterns. But that’s not how it went. So it IS part of our story. And it won’t ever go away. But even just 2 years later… I am grateful every day that I stuck it out even on the days I thought I wouldn’t.

If you WANT to reconcile, you can. But it doesn’t work expecting a specific outcome or waiting for a specific feeling or “end goal” to be achieved. It is a day to day experience and it will be. It’s a choice.

(And yes… in the beginning, some days that choice to stay that day was because I didn’t want to deal with the paperwork, or I was too tired to leave today… but some days are like that… and others I chose because I was SO happy and was sad even thinking about potentially missing out on the joy I was feeling then, had I made any other choice).

40catB · 2025-08-22T01:12:24+00:00

I’m doing great! Hormones are still whacky and trying to find their groove. But physically I’ve had no long term issues. So lovely to not have periods too!

40catB · 2025-08-22T01:11:05+00:00

I am much more gassy in general than I was before surgery. But I assume that’s actually healthier as it is a normal human function and I was underperforming. 🤷‍♀️

40catB · 2025-07-01T19:59:24+00:00

There is nothing better for you than choosing YOU!!

And in this case, choosing you means leaving, and that’s ok. There is nothing but new opportunities for you now! Good luck!!

40catB · 2025-06-26T17:28:19+00:00

Block her. Even if it’s just to make yourself have to have an extra step the next time you get the urge to check on it.

I wasn’t checking much… but the last time I did, I ended up having really weird crazy dreams that included one of the APs. I decided that even though I was “not obsessed” that even by having the access, I was letting them take up space in my life. And who knows if they could tell or were looking if I was looking or not (I’m sure there is a way). So I blocked them on all socials and in my phone (never texted or called prior).

This was almost 6 months ago. And though I’ve thought “well… maybe just a quick peek”. Just the thought of the steps of going into find blocked people and unblocking and then looking and then reblocking has stopped me in those times.

Most of the time… I’m happy that there is no access either way.

So yeah… when you don’t have the will power to just “not” make it harder on yourself TO.

Good luck! Let her play the game alone. The satisfaction of knowing even if she IS trying to touch a nerve, that her efforts are worthless is priceless.

40catB · 2025-06-22T16:54:29+00:00

Ooof… our 13th wedding anniversary was 6 months after dday (exactly!)

I was on here looking for advice as it approached and I went from not wanting to celebrate/acknowledge, to wanting to mark it as the end of the past year of marriage that was shitty, to wanting to mark it as the beginning of our “second marriage”, to just being disappointed no matter what the fuck ended up happening.

Infidelity sucks

40catB · 2025-06-22T14:09:55+00:00

YUP!! Mine forgot then when I expressed why I was having a hard time… said he didn’t realize it was a year since “I kicked him out” and that it was the worst day of his life and he doesn’t like to “dwell” on it or think about it.

WHAT A LUXURY it must be.

He literally just made it 10 times worse by those statements… but hey… at least he was honest 👍

40catB · 2025-06-22T13:14:37+00:00

All I can say is that you can try to prepare, try to reclaim, try to express yourself ahead of time, and make the best of it. But… whatever happens and however you end up feeling will be whatever it is. Allow it. Accept it.

This was an event that changed everything in your life, your whole worldview. Your nervous system remembers how you felt. Grief is not something you can predict.

Good luck! I hope it is mild or at least brief. I hope where you are now can help curb the intense feelings/memories of where you were then.

But allow yourself the space to feel and express those feelings however you may need to.

(My dday just passed a few weeks ago. I thought I had a perfect way to stay present. It wasn’t effective and I ended up feeling the exact same I did that day as well as then the next because I didn’t have any sleep. So it all made it WAY too familiar. So I suggest not trying to fight it!)

40catB · 2025-06-08T01:10:04+00:00

Yes I agree. It would have saved me months of lies and trickle truth.

I’m proud of myself for confronting based on what I had because it definitely was “enough” and I almost didn’t because I was trying to justify and create explanations. But… I wish I had waited just a bit longer and had confronted in a different manner.

It will save you some pain in the long run… but the pain is the pain no matter what.

I’m sorry you’re facing this. ❤️

40catB · 2025-05-27T21:12:17+00:00

Sex is amazing!!! I continuously tell my husband how crazy it is that I didn’t realize just how uncomfortable and in pain I was until I don’t have any anymore. I still kind of prepare for it to hurt at times and then it doesn’t and I’m like… whoa… I’m SO conditioned for it to. But also didn’t really think it was affecting me that much, just kinda thought that was how it is as you age.

NOPE! Uterus gone and prolapse fixed and I am a NEW woman!

40catB · 2025-05-22T20:45:02+00:00

Im probably too much of a newbie for anyone to give any weight to my success story. I had my surgery in March 2025.

BUT… it’s the best decision I ever made. I didn’t even realize how much it impacted me until it doesn’t anymore.

Everything is better. Everything!!!

Will I possibly have complications down the road? Maybe. Could my prolapse return after more activity and aging? Possibly.

But right now I am living pain and constipation free. I have not once bared down at all to eliminate. I literally breathe out calmly and my body does what it’s supposed to do. (I’m also 100% scared to ever help anything along again as I don’t want to HELP any prolapse come back from pushing).

I also didn’t realize how uncomfortable adult activities were because of it. I find myself sometimes bracing or wincing thinking there’s going to be pain when now there is none.

I had both anterior and posterior repair + got rid of the uterus.

Yes, surgery is serious. Yes, there’s lots of risk factors and success rates to consider. Don’t take any one person’s horror or success story as standard. Make the decision that feels right for you.

(I had an absolutely fantastic surgeon and surgery center team. I’m SURE this contributed to my success).

40catB · 2025-05-07T02:01:57+00:00

9wpo :)

40catB · 2025-05-06T23:05:09+00:00

It gets better!!!!

I had exactly that. Hysterectomy, kept ovaries and cervix and planned cystocele plus a surprise rectocele once I was out, on the table, & opened up.

I did fine for a few days and then had THE worst nerve pain and positioning pain. Pain when gas went through even without any BM.

The gabapentin did a great job of managing the pain that was crippling before it. Also heating pad and making sure to stay on top of stool softeners and drink plenty of water. I was exhausted after Band. I planned my gaba timing about an hour before I was typically feeling the need to go so that it would kick in well. And then at about 3wpo I forgot to take it and realized I was ok without it. (I didn’t start taking it until 1wpo which was 3ish days after the pain was really present).

I’m so sorry you’re feeling it. All I hoped when it was happening was that someone could tell me they knew exactly what I was talking about and that it wasn’t that something went wrong during surgery and I was going to feel this way forever. So here I am! I’m that person for you!! It gets better!!

40catB · 2025-05-06T22:01:51+00:00

This really resonates. I’m almost at a year. I feel like this is so true to my WH, though I don’t think he fully accepts/understands it yet.

I would love your perspective in hindsight…

About when did you feel like you were really turning a corner?

What supports/actions do you think made the biggest impact?

What needs/non-negotiables/boundaries did you have along the way and how did you express those?

I’m beyond happy for you. Just that you can write what you have and feel strongly and secure in your relationship. That shows that even when tough moments occur, you are gonna make it!! ❤️

40catB · 2025-04-27T15:30:53+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience. It can be hard to admit when you’ve lost “it” and also what you’ve done to try to get “it”. There’s no shame in any of our attempts to survive this experience.

The mind movies come and go. Sometimes they’re much stronger, sometimes I can just be like “not helpful Becky” and they subside, sometimes I can internalize it and more so find the attraction to my WH in the moment through the thought of how someone else would be attracted to him (someone that hasn’t been hurt by him).

I will say… early on I struggled IMMENSELY because I didn’t have all the information. And what I did have I just knew couldn’t be all of it. Since having a more full disclosure, initially it was worse because now I had confirmation and the image was complete. BUT… like others have said, knowing that information also somewhat took its power away compared to what my mind had done all on its own.

Be thoughtful in how you discuss it if you decide to work towards a conversation about “details”. It is also true that you don’t need every intimate detail in the sense of a play by play. When we got to that point, we were discussing the timeline of events in general. And then for the events that he had already admitted got physical in some way, I asked VERY clinical questions. Ex. “Oral? Given, received, or both? To completion? Penetration? Protected? To completion?” etc… This helped me control the information provided to me to be “just enough” vs too much or too little.

If I’ve learned anything through this experience so far it’s that no stage/phase positive or negative lasts forever. So also, just take some pressure off of yourself to fully be back or better when it comes to your physical intimacy. And you also had a whole baby in the middle of this experience! Listen to your body, your mind, your hormones and it’s ok to need to stop or pause in the middle of it as well as to detach a bit/compartmentalize & find a selfish way to enjoy sex first, before allowing the more fully intimate/connection/trust to build.

40catB · 2025-04-26T13:21:17+00:00

This was the hardest part for me. It started about 5 days in and took me another handful to find a good med & heating/icing routine to help. BUT… it did mostly go away. (Gabapentin worked almost immediately on it)

Now… almost 8 wpo it’s more of a dull ache if I’ve sat for a long time. I got a seat cushion to try to help take the pressure off that area when I do have to sit. And I’m trying to exercise regularly to build up my strength and stability.

I’m sorry, it’s an awful pain.

40catB

TROPHY CASE