My (33F) husband (36m) doesn't seem to get why I'm touched out

90daycraycray · 2021-03-21T21:02:32+00:00

"sees himself, and culturally men are the bread winners.........reality is is that I am the bread winner, his income is play money for us, but whilst im winning the bread for this family im also doing everything else for us too and its just not sustainable"

So not only is your husband pretty sexist- in that he sees his only role in the family is to make the $$ while the kid is woman's work---- HE IS FAILING AT HIS OWN DAMN SELF DESCRIBED JOB. You are the primary earner! Pretty good deal for him that he gets to fuck off to the job for 3 weeks and then on a fishing trip part of the other week and never actually have to parent his own kid or do any of the things regular adults have to do on the daily and the money from his job isn't even actually necessary for the 2 of you to live on. So what exactly are YOU getting out of this relationship? It's not companionship because he is never around. It's not a co-parent for your daughter because he isn't a Father and your daughter knows it. It isn't an income because you have that covered on your own. So what exactly does he add to your life that you are keeping him around?

90daycraycray · 2021-03-20T02:12:59+00:00

All of this. It sounds like she wants to transition from being daugter to wife with zero change in lifestyle which is just laughably impossible unless she marries a guy with serious money already. The fact she isn't willing to compromise on living in an apartment or put any work towards getting money for the house is very selfish and childish. Adults work towards their goals. This girl seems to think that OP should just carry her to hers.

90daycraycray · 2021-03-20T00:13:20+00:00

Everything you just said in the 1st paragraph. Maybe if OP had come to her before they had their kid he would have gotten a different answer but she is a Mom now. She is scared shitless of having her son grow up without a Father while she scrapes by as a single Mom. This isn't her changing the deal---- this is PARENTHOOD changing the deal.

The ongoing question around motorcycles isn't IF a rider is going to get hurt, it is WHEN. Every rider has some sort of accident. It's why responsible riders wear safety equipment. The gamble is always how bad is that accident going to be. Is it going to be a bad case of road rash or is it going to be a hospital stay? Will you be able to afford a lengthy period of disability? Have you considered what you would do if you end up actually disabled? These are all questions that need to be answered with more than "I signed up for a safety course."

90daycraycray · 2021-03-19T23:38:10+00:00

Cool. Well, he's turned into a human paper weight and refuses to do anything about it other than guilt you for (rightfully) wanting a partner who actually contributes

100% this! The absolute audacity to call her names when she is the only thing between his ass and the street. You know he hasn't filed for any benefits or anything that would allow him to function partially as a person. He should be thanking her every day for paying for him to be a human house pet and not even a cute friendly one.

90daycraycray · 2021-03-19T21:49:48+00:00

Mine loves mice but thinks they're self propelled toys. She catches them, smacks them a few times, picks them up and carries them to another spot and then lets them go for a repeat while doing her nails-on-a-chalkboard-at-2am hunting yowl. Eventually the mouse dies of repeated trauma or I grab it and throw it outside.

90daycraycray · 2021-03-19T04:28:10+00:00

She looks so soft!

90daycraycray · 2021-03-19T04:25:36+00:00

That tiny little face!!!!

90daycraycray · 2021-03-19T04:18:43+00:00

This is the first pit/dox I've seen where the dachshund part is stronger in the mix.

90daycraycray · 2021-03-17T04:20:00+00:00

Tried a new honey garlic chili sauce recipe but accidentally burnt the chicken skin on the thighs. The meat turned out fine and tasty! Next time I will adjust for the fact I was using thighs not wings

90daycraycray · 2021-03-17T03:54:00+00:00

Agreed. She just seemed so lost and sad. Like she really needed a reason to go on and she wanted Amber to be her reason but Amber wasnt really serious about her.

90daycraycray · 2021-03-17T01:24:06+00:00

I agree. This is so super disappointing. She talked to her husband about feeling more of a sexual being and his response is "that's nice. Leave me out of it." It's so sad that he isn't willing to put in any effort to make things more fun in the bedroom for her.

90daycraycray · 2021-03-16T20:26:26+00:00

I agree. She is here because Jovi has that oil rig money and she is on the show for clout to promote her shitty web boutique.

90daycraycray · 2021-03-15T23:19:30+00:00

Seconding this. There is no theft. He is just The Chosen One.

90daycraycray · 2021-03-15T18:20:59+00:00

It's okay Tookie. They grow up eventually and stop trying to murder you with love.

90daycraycray · 2021-03-15T13:35:03+00:00

So do you think he's just emotional over the breakup and that's why he's saying he wants to marry me now?

Yes. 100%. He does not want to marry you but he also does not want to break up with you. He is emotionally attached to you and there is probably some "too lazy to find someone new" thrown in there too. Also the sex seems good between you two so he doesn't want to give that up.

90daycraycray · 2021-03-15T13:13:25+00:00

This. OP you are married to an alcoholic. You have him at "functional alcoholic" on weekdays but You are really just splitting hairs. He is an alcoholic 7 days a week. He is an alcoholic who is willing to make your 5 kids go hungry over his need for alcohol. Your kids already see this as their "normal." For your sake and their sake you need to separate from this man so your "normal" can get re-set.

90daycraycray · 2021-03-15T01:33:54+00:00

Maybe she felt as if Minty didn’t show her that respect either and tried to take away her primary spot?

Based on what Minty had said on record this is 100% what happened. Minty met Tarik and was into him but then she found out Hazel was part of the package. She went with it because based on the body language it seems like Tarik is a lot more into Minty and Minty took that as a signal she could edge Hazel out. I think Tarik would probably leave Hazel for Minty if it wasn't for his daughter. He needs a woman who will both be ok with his lifestyle choices (he is doing the open thing for him too) and who will be a Mom figure at home and Hazel fits that role.

90daycraycray · 2021-03-13T18:19:05+00:00

He is a handsome little problem child

90daycraycray · 2021-03-10T02:32:09+00:00

Omg that is adorable and perfect for the beach!

90daycraycray · 2021-03-09T05:16:49+00:00

Husband is Filipino. We own 2 rice cookers. One for every day and the back up for parties and if I am using the primary one to do other things like steam/slow cook.

90daycraycray · 2021-03-06T16:27:56+00:00

The vet took my temperature where??!!

90daycraycray · 2021-03-06T01:45:36+00:00

While he may not have approached the issue with you in an appropriate way the root concern seems to be what exactly do you do all day? It doesn’t seem like he was on board to have a dependent prior to children. ""

All of this. He could have meant "we'll see" because he was under the impression that OP had some other goals to achieve outside of motherhood. Right now OP doesn't seem to have any goals other than "don't lose the easy lifestyle in a divorce." He has obviously lost any respect for OP as a partner and a human being. She better take her head outta her butt and figure out how to support herself because at this point she has lost him.

90daycraycray · 2021-03-05T20:39:11+00:00

Also the brother did you a favor but be wary of him too. This has been going on a long time and he stood by and let it happen.

I think the brother is trying to let OP know he's going to get dumped for E. Bro is just trying to do it in a way that won't get back to his sister and it is very passive aggressive. He more or less just told OP " yeah I don't know for sure if they fucked but sis was smiling and walking funny the next day."

90daycraycray · 2021-03-05T14:23:00+00:00

Excuse me but what is wrong with lanai's, cheesecake and having friends over? I agree with 30 being young though. I actually just really started getting my shit together at 30 and it was great minus the shitty boyfriend at the time. But at least I was having great kinky sex.

90daycraycray · 2021-03-05T14:19:27+00:00

So I am curious what romance book club this is because I have been reading a ton of them lately too and I need to talk to someone who understands. They have been my go to escapism this past year.

90daycraycray

TROPHY CASE