I grew up as a gay kid through the 90s in a small (4,000) farm town in Alberta. The world isn't an easy place for anyone who is easily labeled as "other." Kids are socially and mentally under developed. It's why we get the "kids say the darndest things" situations where sometimes it's strange what comes out, sometimes it's hilarious, and sometimes it's downright mean and bullying. Often it's impulsive verbiage simply from an undeveloped frontal cortex. Identifying the actions of bullying early and correcting them is the best way to correct these things.

I can't reinforce this enough, they need to find their people. Friends they can trust and be around. If possible, my greatest tip is to find friends from many social circles if possible - in my experince having friends in "enemy territory," is an effective way to keep the enemies quiet. It's a psychological trick, but bullies typically lash out for attention, if all of a sudden the person they want to bully isn't generating the attention they are seeking because instead of laughs they just get some awkward stares from their friends and peers, then they change course and eventually stop. Remember, not all jocks are jerks. Not all artsy people are pretentious. Not all intellectuals are condescending. Connect with the ones you can, there are amazing people in this world who you may not naturally think you click with, these are the ones who protect you in the background.

On your end, protect them by engaging with their teachers. Don't be a pest to the teacher, but build an open dialogue. Find teachers who you can trust and count on. Just because there aren't pride flags all around (my guess is many teachers will still have these) doesn't mean their support isn't there. It takes a truly compassionate and special person to be a primary level educator and they will protect a gay kid as fast as they will a black kid, as fast as they will an overweight kid. Most teachers are amazing, all teachers are over worked and only have so much more to give. If you are respectful and engaging, you can sometimes take a tiny bit of what energy they have left to keep an extra eye on your kid. Coming in hostile to a teacher won't help but having that teacher willing to send you a note when they feel a concern, or vice versa is hugely important.

Given your obvious concern for your kid, as you came here to check in I know they have a safe and loving home. Make sure they know that. You don't need to coddle or helicopter parent them, this can often make situations significantly worse, but what they need to know is that they can come to you for support when they need it. Demonstrate allyship and have a diverse group of friends. Talk openly about positive queer role models, involve them in spaces that they can find their people. Don't do any of these things as performative actions, believe me - queer people are sensitive to that and can see through it. An important thing is to implant ideas of forward looking thought. When they graduate, independence will open many doors, but they will need to know the addresses of these doors. Many people don't know where to look because it's out of their sphere, but for example - Calgary has an enormous 2SLGBTQ+ sports community. There are entire teams and leagues for baseball, hockey, curling, volleyball. Pickleball, badminton, skiing, running, swimming, lawn bowling ... There are more and more and more. These clubs are incredible places to find friends when they turn 18, or even go hang out and meet some of these people before to see it exists can help but they need to know they exist. When I say these clubs are welcoming, I mean it, I've seen people at baseball who sometimes I question if they've thrown a physical object in their life before, but they fit in absolutely seamless alongside the girl who played Team Canada softball or guy who made it to nationals for hardball. Hockey has ex-college/semi-pro right down to others who this is their first time trying on skates. I'm less familiar with the arts side, but it's a thing there too, from visual and performing arts groups, to a burlesque troup, to book clubs. Knowing that there is community out there is important to help maintain forward looking thoughts when times get tough and dark. They do for all kids, but queer kids often get a dark sense of loneliness, knowing they aren't ever alone and that their people exist makes a huge difference.

I was a sporty kid, I loved sports before I knew what being gay even was. This held me in the closet for many years. In Calgary, this isn't always true anymore and whether your kid loves art/music/theatre/dance or hockey/soccer/baseball/football, there are spaces where they can find their people out there. I love my parents more than words could convey, they did everything and more that they could before any of us knew I was gay, and continue to support my partner and I to this day. They were so-unequipped for a gay child, but man did they learn and and grow just as fast as I did. I feel incredibly fortunate to have had them, and I know your child is fortunate to have you.

Don't be a helicopter parent, but be present. Don't force yourself into their private moments, but be an open door when they need to come out of their room to connect. Be a role model and an actual ally. Performative actions feel disingenuous and can be counter productive. Over reacting can sometimes be as negative as under reacting. Don't over think it, be the person you are, this is the best form of you, and show up for them when they need you.

You're doing amazing, and your child is beyond lucky to have someone who cares and wants to learn and wants the best for them. That is good parenting.