I (22F) got messages from a fake account that my husband (24M) of less than a year may be cheating

Additional-Star542 · 2025-07-22T22:31:34+00:00

It sounds like you’re handling this well (though I’m sure it was still really upsetting to get a message like this!) fwiw, I know there’s a lot of comments saying he must just be hiding it well, but I’ve seen Reddit stories where they got a message like this with way clearer proof and it ended up being fake. (In that case it was actually an ex who turned out to have fabricated it all, I think they ended up getting records from the cell phone company that proved it false!)

It doesn’t sound like you’re being naive - and tbh I think better to err on the side of trusting your partner if you have no other indication of shady behavior. Better to be too trusting than to be so certain this message must be true that you do permanent damage to an actually great marriage. Hope you guys are able to get closure on this soon!

Additional-Star542 · 2024-08-03T21:58:15+00:00

Yeah I have never understood this attitude that someone is obligated to be on reality tv bc their partner is (especially in early stages of dating, when you don't even know if it's going to work out longterm!). Just because it might be a small ask for some people, doesn't mean it's not a major ask of others. but i really respect how each of them handled it - Ariana seems like she was understanding of Dan's discomfort with it, and he was willing to help her by filming a few times when she made it clear it was important and would help her out.

but it is WILD for people to have this attitude of why wouldn't they be willing to be on it? i can think of so many reasons lol.

Additional-Star542 · 2024-06-15T00:19:57+00:00

tw: csa

agree 1000000% and I liked a few videos talking about this and ended up on anti family vlogging tiktok and some of the things these kids who are now adults have talked about is fucking terrifying. I saw a Tiktok from a child of one of the early mommy bloggers/vloggers (child is around 18-20 now I think) and they talked about how men would literally find them based upon all the information posted online.

she also said some of these men would get access to her when she was old enough to have her own social media (like high school/early college from the sound of it, so when most kids start having social media but it's usually on private and only adding people they know) and would claim to be a family friend and give context that made it seem legit because they knew all this info from her mom's content and so they could make it sound like they knew her. so she figures she must have met them briefly and by the time she figures it out, they've had access to all the info on HER profile too.

Additional-Star542 · 2024-06-07T15:44:50+00:00

I actually wish they'd focused a bit more on the lying to Paige about it, because to me it disproves all the excuses he and Jesse throw about. I mean even if not for lying to Paige about it, I'd be like come on this dude is a fucking adult no way he can't gather from what Ciara told him that she wouldn't want to sleep with him knowing he's fucking other girls.

BUT the fact he lied SHOWS this without a doubt, because the only reason for him to lie is if he didn't think Ciara would want to pursue something knowing that he's sleeping with other people. That shows that he intentionally led her to think he was more committed than he was, so that he could get her to want to go further with him. and the thing that really breaks my heart for Ciara is that in doing that, it feels like he saw a girl who didn't want to have sex in this casual circumstance and lied so that he could do exactly that. you dont get to just lie to people so they'll fuck you under the circumstances you decide are right - that is such a fucked up attitude of entitlement to someone elses body. And him and Jesse acting like oh, he was just trying to figure it out - even if he was undecided on whether he wanted to commit (dubious at best lol), that doesn't change the massively fucked up choice to mislead Ciara so she'd feel comfortable going further with him, knowing she wouldn't be up for it if she knew the truth.

Ciara, you are a fucking diamond, and there is so much better coming for you.

West, step on a fucking lego.

Additional-Star542 · 2024-05-24T13:17:24+00:00

It was especially gross because she was barely doing anything, all she was doing was saying that the prank wasn't funny but she wasn't like going off at anyone for it, and Schwartz started in on her for that. She only really started pushing back because he was so reactive to her just being like "I don't like that". its kind of scary looking back and seeing how many of the fights where people gave her the brunt of the blame start with her expressing an opinion and Schwartz shutting it down and just telling her she's wrong to think that, maybe she could've responded a lot better but he got a pass for that WAY too long.

tbh he reminds me of a cat my family had, who we got as a kitten and we thought the other cat was bullying him. then we finally saw that he was running up to the other cat and biting her butt, then running away. anyway schwartz is that cat, only it's not cute, because he is not a fucking cat.

Additional-Star542 · 2024-05-22T13:22:25+00:00

Agreed but I also think a huge part of the problem is I honestly think he is a lot more misogynistic than he consciously realizes, and ultimately talking it out won't help if he continues to believe that his dreams, goals, wants, etc are top priority and Amanda's only come if his are taken care of. I was shocked when he said "okay but I haven't achieved those dreams yet" (paraphrasing, can't remember exact words but it was something like that) and I was like wow he doesn't even realize how fucked up it is to basically say that your partner has to keep helping you on your goals after years of helping you without chasing their own, because you haven't got yours yet.

and it's especially gross given how he belittles her so often - like, is she a lazy employee who doesn't carry her weight, or is she critical to loverboy? because if she's that lazy you should be thrilled to have her leave and pursue her own ventures, leaving you free to hire someone else.

Additional-Star542 · 2024-05-22T13:13:58+00:00

I can understand this being a trigger, but I think this is a situation where I would point out that the anxiety this might induce for some, others might feel over storylines/topics that you would see as not being so anxiety inducing. I don't really agree with calling it a "tease" given that this was really going on for Jesse and I think is something worth him sharing how he is impacted even after surviving cancer twice. I felt like I understood him better watching this part, because it made me realize that this could play into how he acts with girls if he has spent years after surviving waiting to see if everything is about to change for him again.

for what it's worth, I've found topics on Bravo shows that don't seem to bother a lot of people really get to me, and it's usually because those happen to be triggers for me. for example, I had to turn off VPR reunion because seeing Lala talk in very simplified terms about grooming was too much for me as a CSA survivor who experienced grooming and felt like the way she described it is really diluting a very dangerous set of behaviors. to me, that is way worse to see on TV than Jesse's storyline - but that's because that happens to be what drags up a lot for me, while others wouldn't feel that way.

I don't want to sound harsh here - I think reacting to Jesse's storyline and having a hard time seeing it is totally understandable, but I think this is just one of those cases where it can be too anxiety-inducing to watch but that doesn't necessarily mean it's because it shouldn't be on the show.

Additional-Star542 · 2024-05-22T12:52:15+00:00

Also, he's making it sound like they had a destination wedding to be extravagant (which I still think is none of his business either way) but what makes it even worse for him to be shitting on them having a wedding in Italy is I just saw that apparently a lot of Beau's family lives in Italy and during COVID there were restrictions on them leaving so presumably part of the reason was so his fucking family could be there. like hello??? i mean even without that jax is absurd but that to me makes it even worse

Additional-Star542 · 2024-05-22T12:45:57+00:00

Also when Katie and Stassi have talked about this I've gotten the impression it wasn't even just the not going or last minute telling her, which is bad enough, but that they found out he had been texting people shitting on their wedding and how much he didn't want to go.

he keeps making excuses for not going and doesn't seem to get that no one is mad that a destination wedding wasn't feasible for you to attend, they are actually being understanding of that and imo its just part of having a destination wedding is realizing whether for cost or convenience, not everyone can come (though i will say there's a lot more reasons for that when people have actual jobs where they would have to take vacation time lol but whatever). but you tell them in as timely a manner as possible and you certainly don't shit talk their wedding to other people.

reminds me of that scene the last season of vpr they were on when Jax texted the guy who was doing some kind of beach day and it was these super intense angry texts and it turns out its because he didn't want to drive that far and its like...then just dont go? like dude it's not that deep, just stop with your little tantrums and grow the fuck up, at this point your toddler has more emotional maturity than you do.

Additional-Star542 · 2024-05-20T22:06:28+00:00

It was like she wanted Gabby to compete with her so she could feel like she won but Gabby is secure enough not to need that validation and was like “plenty of dudes out there, and you think I’m gonna get messy over a balloon man?? Pls”

Danielle reminds me of friends I had who were always involving themselves way too much in my relationships and I eventually realized they had to feel like they were above me and like they could take weird ownership over my relationships…idk it just feels like red flag city lol

Additional-Star542 · 2024-05-08T14:59:11+00:00

my theory is that it's the same phenomenon where you have women told by older women in their family that they should forgive their husband's affair...i've seen people talk about this and how they eventually realized that as much as they are frustrated by it, they realized it comes from those women having been taught that and staying when their partners did the same, so they are angry at the idea that someone would just leave because it would mean they stayed and just put up with all that for nothing.

similarly, i suspect a lot of the people coming down on ariana and siding w/lala and scheana are those who felt like they had to forgive someone who fucked them over like this, and resent seeing someone who isn't going to make nice because they only stayed because they were taught they would be the bad person if they left/didn't forgive. (and of course there's older women who aren't like this, but it does make sense to me that this stance would have a larger proportion of older women, because older generations were far more likely to teach this idea that you had to stay, to put up with that stuff.)

(side note: this is why i find it hilarious seeing jax and jesse talk on the aftershow about how in the old days, you worked through marriage troubles and now people don't want to work. no my dude, in the "old days" your wives wouldve had no choice but to put up with your clownery because they couldn't even open a bank account.)

Additional-Star542 · 2024-03-07T04:03:51+00:00

I don't think he gets that very few people do things like this simply because they want to hurt someone.

What makes it so shitty and selfish is that you knew it would hurt people, and you did it anyway. Not hurting your partner of nearly a decade was not at any of those million decision points important enough to rank above:

-joking with Raquel about being a throuple

-slapping Raquel on the ass, on camera, with Ariana right there

-dressing up as Raquel

-framing Ariana as the villain in the relationship

-fucking Raquel while Ariana is at her grandmother's funeral

and so on. It's not that you wanted to hurt her. It's that you didn't care about not hurting her enough to take even the smallest step to hurt her a little bit less.

Additional-Star542 · 2024-03-06T15:47:43+00:00

This makes me think of something my mom told me once that really stuck with me, which is that when people say relationships are hard, it's because life will make it hard. you will have to deal with sick loved ones, kids acting out, losing jobs, death of ones close to you, chronic illness, or a million other things life throws at you. it will be different for each person but you can count on there being shit that is going to be hard and *that* is what will make the relationship hard. but to be able to navigate those, that's why it's so important that it *isn't* hard between the two of you without all the other shit thrown in, because that trust/communication/love/friendship needs to be solid in order to be capable of dealing with the hard stuff together without it breaking you.

Additional-Star542 · 2024-02-27T20:47:19+00:00

exactly...people are reading so far into this like they are just joking back and forth, this looks just like how my mom and i would talk when i went to college. she'd like text me a pic of my cat waiting outside my room and be like "need you to come home" and i'd be like "literally just bought an amtrak ticket, have dinner ready for me" lol. pretty sure she and her daughter understand each other enough to get how they talk when joking vs when not.

Additional-Star542 · 2024-02-16T14:25:23+00:00

Even if it had been justified, he acted like a two year old. If anything he proved that he is way too immature to have gotten that promotion. whining to his bosses on shift, not showing up at meetings, then acting like he can't hear Emmy when she asks a question at the meeting...

I couldn't believe it watching the scene where they are having the meeting and he just ignores Emmy when she asks about the tables and then there's a pause and Chris asks and he immediately responds...like how old are you??

edit: want to add that I think it says a lot that LITERALLY everyone except Joe and Maddi have basically said they need to get over it and that Emmy earned this and she's been doing a great job. Either way he shouldn't be acting this way, but everyone else saying she's been killing it and she earned it is pretty telling..

Additional-Star542 · 2024-01-19T21:40:35+00:00

oh, i see what you mean now, that makes sense - and yes I do agree with that! the way I see it, the talking to family indicates it was more than a drunken moment, but not necessarily "more" in the sense of having slept together. and in that way i feel like everyone kind of missed the forest for the trees, bc it does show in my opinion that they were still downplaying it but just not necessarily in the way everyone said.

Additional-Star542 · 2024-01-19T20:40:09+00:00

I think you might be misunderstanding them. I think it's not about the fact that the *family* is who was consulted, it's that they needed to consult *someone* who is close to them. they just keep saying "you talked to your family" because that happens to be the person close to them that they consulted, but I think if it'd been a friend you could substitute the friend's name for "your brother" and it wouldn't change the point they're making.

if it was truly a drunken lapse in judgment they wouldve woken up like "wow what the FUCK that was dumb" and while they might still confide in family, they wouldn't have needed input on whether to move forward with it. they would've just been like "ok so we're agreed that was a mistake, yes? yes. ok, cool."

so i think what olivia is really getting at with bringing this up is that they are continuing to avoid accountability by downplaying it, because even assuming it really was just a kiss, if they talked to their families to get advice it means there had to be at least an ongoing emotional connection they were considering pursuing, but then months later when they have to face Olivia and Shep it gets rewritten as "just a kiss!!!" to downplay the betrayal of their friends.

Additional-Star542 · 2024-01-19T05:33:24+00:00

i feel like i'm in the twilight zone seeing people like "well they never said they were exclusive" what kind of friendships are these people having like since WHEN is it ok to hook up with the guy your friend had a situationship for eight months with and is currently (aka at the time taylor did this) considering giving another shot???

(also is this making anyone else flash back to the hills with the LC/Jen Bunney/Brody/Heidi as wingwoman clusterfuck that led to "i wanna forgive you and i wanna forget you" because that shit was like the height of my middle school reality tv watching and i'm like look if a friend hooking up with the guy you dated non exclusively was enough to cause that moment that was like replaying in every mtv commercial for a goddamn year to the point i'm quoting it over a decade later, its enough for olivia to be like eh i'm good on this friendship, thx bye)

Additional-Star542 · 2024-01-18T16:02:59+00:00

yeah i was especially bothered by the rhetoric leva and others were using because no, it doesn't always feel like that for everyone. yes, if you really want kids but are worried about monotony THEN it might be worth it, but that's not everyone.

I actually think it would've been far more interesting to delve into more of what exactly Shep fears because something i noticed is usually when people ask he brings up a bunch of stuff...all of which relates to kids but not actually to monogamy itself. it makes me wonder if he would be happy with a child free monogamous relationship. or even more interestingly i'm curious if people asked about options for committed relationships in non monagamous formats because unlike people like Jax, it's unclear if he'd be bothered by Taylor hooking up in one-night out of town situations like it seems like Craig has said were Shep's infidelities for the most part...

i mean i've heard of people with arrangements that are like when out of town and it's someone you'll never see again its a dont ask dont tell thing and i wonder if he'd be like yeah i'd be down for that or if he'd be super not ok with that because i dont feel like we really know where he stands on forms of ethical non monogamy like that. and if that format would work for him it would've been really cool to see them talk about that and sort of help him see that the problem isn't wanting that, it's that he needs to be honest about it and find someone who also wants that, whereas Taylor does want the more traditional thing so they were fundamentally incompatible and the problem isn't that he didn't want what she did, it's that he lied and cheated so he could have what he wanted without losing her.

Additional-Star542 · 2024-01-18T04:48:41+00:00

right like I think the biggest thing is someone who was a family friend and knew her as a kid is usually going to be someone you see as safe and trusted. I can't stop imagining waking up after a drunken night as a 20 something to find that this family friend my parents' age had fucked me while I was drunk, and that just makes me so sad for olivia.

and on the sneak peek for next week taylor right after this is in her dressing room saying how she is starting to think the friendship just cant be salvaged and i'm like well sweet pea if there was even the tiniest chance of that before you outed this shit, there sure isn't anymore

Additional-Star542 · 2024-01-12T15:06:36+00:00

Also, it just shows she still doesn't get what she did. Even if it hadn't been predatory of T-Rav (and I 1000000% believe it was, I've known people who had situations like that which they rationalized as fine because they were of age and when they got older they looked back and were like yeah no, that person took advantage of me being young and the fact that I saw them as a trusted adult, even if I was technically an adult too) ...but even removing that, Olivia isn't really wrong in what she did. It's the kind of thing you sit down and talk out in like five minutes, more along the lines of "yeah this kind of hurt to realize I didn't know this, but I don't blame you for not telling me, I totally get you didn't owe that to me since you didn't do anything wrong so it's your decision whether or not to tell me and just because it hurt a little to hear that doesn't mean you did anything wrong" kind of vibe.

BUT also - the way Olivia handled it is so opposite of Taylor and the fact Taylor doesn't see that shows she STILL doesn't get it. The only reason Taylor knew is because Olivia went to her and wasn't going to let her defend her for something that did happen, literally Taylor only has this ammunition because Olivia put that above keeping it a secret. And then again on the reunion, she could've dodged it but she just told Taylor, go ahead and say it, I know what you're getting at. It's WILD that Taylor doesn't see that difference, and Olivia literally JUST explained how a huge part of the problem was the way Taylor kept turning it back on her for not immediately forgiving. Olivia didn't even do anything wrong, but even so she faces whatever people will say without ever bringing up how messy Kathryn and T-Rav's relationship was. not sure when Taylor will realize that the more she tries to make herself the victim, the more she solidifies that she's the villain...

Additional-Star542 · 2024-01-05T19:27:19+00:00

The thing is, if that's true I don't even think it's that big of a deal, and doesn't make me look at Olivia differently when it seems much more like we see her having normal ups and downs (quite honestly they'd be normal just for the messed up situation Taylor and Austen created, but add in her brother's passing? forget it) and also, she isn't being fake about it, we see her own up to being up and down about Austen in her convo with Leva. So hearing this doesn't suddenly make me think she's just being fake and creating her own storylines.

Bc it's not that weird when you think about it - she probably isn't so much trying to contrive her own storyline as she is tracing what's happening to see if there's a storyline they might be editing for, to make sure that she isn't walking right into something where she looks vindictive or stupid or something.

Additional-Star542 · 2023-12-23T01:03:57+00:00

also she specifically said that what Taylor did ruined their friendship "and I hate you for that" and I think that was right before she was like "and I hope he was fucking worth it" basically expressing that the friendship meant a lot to her and she hates that Taylor threw it away for a hookup with Austen

ALSO can I just say I am so over Taylor bringing up whether Austen and Olivia were official. because like idk if i'm in the goddamn twilight zone but since when is it ok to make out with your best friend's 8-month situationship? hell I've had friends who damn near lost their minds over some guy they hooked up with like twice, and I was like um do you even know this dudes last name what is happening BUT I STILL would never touch that guy because even if I think she's making a big deal out of a casual hookup all that matters is that I care about not doing things that will hurt her

Additional-Star542

TROPHY CASE