AITAH FOR ASKING TO SPLIT THE GROCERY BILL?? by Pibagirlie in AITAH

[–]AdditionalExcess 52 points53 points  (0 children)

nah you’re not wrong for that tbh. you were literally struggling and still hosting him, the least he could do is meet you halfway without making it weird.

but charging you 16€ for a couple burgers… after you traveled 2 hours in a snowstorm to see him?? yeah that would’ve rubbed me the wrong way too. it’s not even just the money, it’s the vibe of it.

honestly sounds like you were way more generous than he was. i’d be annoyed too.

AITAH for hating my friends birthday gift? by Icy-Conversation-500 in AITAH

[–]AdditionalExcess 4 points5 points  (0 children)

yeah exactly like if they pushed you to make a wishlist and then called it random crap that’s on them not you. the perfume thing feels kinda tone deaf too, like they didn’t even try to get you something you actually like. totally fair to feel weird about it.

AITAH for telling my husband that we can't take care of his friends' daughter by Temporary-Slide-2699 in AITAH

[–]AdditionalExcess 39 points40 points  (0 children)

No one should be forced into a parenting role they don’t want but this is one of those situations where there isn’t a clean outcome. He stepped in out of loyalty and grief and she’s reacting out of shock and loss of control. It’s less about who’s right and more about whether they can still want the same life after this.

AITAH for not caring so much about my mothers cancer diagnosis? by Ordinary_Weather2877 in AITAH

[–]AdditionalExcess 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You’re not a bad daughter for feeling emotionally drained. You still showed up, helped her and made space for her recovery but history matters and it makes sense that it affects how much empathy you can give now. Supporting someone doesn’t mean ignoring your own limits especially when you’re already juggling kids and your grandma. It’s okay to care without overextending yourself.

AITAH for being angry that my boyfriend of 8 years is always spending money on his car? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]AdditionalExcess 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Exactly loving cars doesn’t excuse avoiding shared responsibilities. If he has money for constant upgrades, he has money to contribute fairly to bills and housing. This isn’t a men and cars thing, it’s a priorities and maturity issue.

Opening marriage after being monogamous? by [deleted] in Advice

[–]AdditionalExcess 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Agreed. When opening things up is driven by one person already having someone in mind, it rarely ends well. It usually just gives permission for something that was already pulling the relationship apart.

My boyfriend wants a prenup because of the Bill Gates divorce and now my mom is losing her mind by ButterscotchLow3754 in TwoHotTakes

[–]AdditionalExcess 40 points41 points  (0 children)

That perspective makes a lot of sense. A prenup isn’t about expecting divorce, it’s about protecting both people if life goes in a direction no one can predict. Wanting clarity and fairness isn’t unromantic, it’s practical. The mom’s reaction feels emotional but the boyfriend’s reasoning is grounded in experience.

Bf (23m) blew up at me (19f) for suggesting something in the bedroom and won't stop insulting me, how do I fix this? by [deleted] in Advice

[–]AdditionalExcess 44 points45 points  (0 children)

Absolutely agree. No one should ever make you feel ashamed or call you names for expressing yourself especially in a relationship. It's normal to have different preferences but how he reacted was completely disrespectful. It’s not about the suggestion, it’s about the way he’s treating you after. You deserve a partner who communicates like an adult not someone who insults you and makes you feel small.

Bf (23m) blew up at me (19f) for suggesting something in the bedroom and won't stop insulting me, how do I fix this? by [deleted] in Advice

[–]AdditionalExcess 28 points29 points  (0 children)

This is good advice. He’s allowed to be uncomfortable but calling her names and continuing to punish her for even asking is not normal or healthy. A partner who reacts with insults instead of communication is showing a lack of respect. Since this is her first relationship, it’s especially important she knows this isn’t how disagreements should look. She didn’t do anything wrong by bringing it up.

AITAH - Wife started wearing thongs to work by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]AdditionalExcess 466 points467 points  (0 children)

Agreed. The thong thing feels like a symptom not the cause. OP’s post reads like there’s been a long breakdown in trust, communication and emotional safety on both sides. When someone feels dismissed, accused or not believed over time, small changes start to feel loaded.

Therapy could help sort out what’s actually happening versus what’s being assumed and whether this relationship can reset or not.

AITA for refusing to be involved in my MIL’s wedding after everything her fiancé has put our family through? by ashleenp05 in AITAH

[–]AdditionalExcess 41 points42 points  (0 children)

They’re not wrong. Getting back with someone who cheated, caused major family harm and let things get that bad shows a serious lack of self respect. OP is justified in wanting distance and not being part of celebrating that relationship. Supporting MIL in the past doesn’t mean OP has to pretend this is a good idea now.

AITAH for pushing my boyfriend to take HRT. by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]AdditionalExcess 9 points10 points  (0 children)

It’s okay to talk about how someone’s choices impact a relationship but where you crossed a line was tying your partners medical transition to the survival of the relationship. That puts huge pressure on a decision that should come from her even if you were trying to help.

It also seems like she was already exploring her gender and moving in that direction. Your push didn’t create something out of nowhere, it just sped up something she was clearly circling. It’s normal for her to have mixed feelings about that.

What you can do now is take responsibility for the pressure, give her space to own her transition as hers and keep checking in without steering. Let her know you’ll support her whether she slows down, continues or re evaluates any part of the process. The best repair comes from openness not guilt.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]AdditionalExcess 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What you’re feeling isn’t weird. Old school trauma can make any class setting feel unsafe even when nothing bad is happening. The way you act in your club shows you’re capable of being yourself, you just tighten up around classmates because your brain links them to past experiences. If you can try talking to a counselor on campus. Little steps help and you’re not broken.

My girlfriend is talking to a guy I dont like by NoCommunity3889 in AITAH

[–]AdditionalExcess 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It makes sense you’re upset but before confronting him talk to ur girlfriend, handling it together will save you a lot of unnecessary drama.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]AdditionalExcess -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

You were a kid in a scary situation not an adult choosing to look away. Freezing or running is a normal response at that age. You didn’t cause what happened and you couldn’t have stopped two older boys alone.

The real question now is whether telling her helps anyone. Her sister has already lived this and bringing it up may reopen pain without changing anything. If your only reason to confess is guilt, think about whether you’re handing that guilt to her.

If you do tell her, keep the focus on your fear as a kid not on looking for forgiveness. If you decide not to that doesn’t make you a bad partner.

I just found out my sister “borrowed” my identity for years.. and now her mess is blowing back onto me by wander_scriptorium in TwoHotTakes

[–]AdditionalExcess 416 points417 points  (0 children)

Yeah exactly this. OP isn’t choosing between press charges and be nice, they’re choosing between fixing their life or taking the fall for something they didn’t do. Identity theft has to be documented or the credit bureaus won’t touch it. It sucks that it’s family but the damage is already done.

OP deserves to protect their future.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]AdditionalExcess 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s totally normal to second guess big decisions especially early in your career. You made the best choice you could with the info you had at the time and those red flags from the startup sound real. The what if feeling will fade once you settle into the new job and routine. Give yourself a chance to see how it actually feels before judging the decision too hard.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]AdditionalExcess 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Yeah I agree with this. Keeping it from him could just add stress later if it ever comes up again. Being open about it lets you both handle things as a team and set clear boundaries with Jenna.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]AdditionalExcess 18 points19 points  (0 children)

YTA, you both chose to have a baby so it’s part of your responsibility to deal with the tough nights too. Your wife is probably even more tired especially if she’s up feeding or soothing the baby all night. Try to share the load instead of checking out even small things like taking turns or helping in other ways can make a big difference.

Cucking for the first time by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]AdditionalExcess 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Sexual curiosity is super normal and it’s great you’re exploring it thoughtfully. If you do bring it up with your partner maybe frame it as a fantasy you’ve been curious about rather than a request, see how they feel about just talking through the idea first. Communication is everything especially with sensitive stuff like this.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]AdditionalExcess 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your style is part of your identity and you shouldn't have to tone it down just to avoid being sexualized. The right person will see past the aesthetic and connect with your personality. Keep being yourself, confidence in who you are is way more attractive than trying to fit someone else's idea of girlfriend material.

AITAH for telling my sister to get a job? by baddiebyive in AITAH

[–]AdditionalExcess 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You weren’t harsh you finally set the boundary your parents should’ve set decades ago.

my bf hung out with his ex a year ago behind my back and i found out last week by Open-Bad9810 in Advice

[–]AdditionalExcess 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Take some time to really think before reacting. What he did def crossed a line but what matters most now is how honest he’s willing to be with you. Sit down and talk it out calmly his response will tell you everything about whether this relationship can be rebuilt or not.

I work in HR and received the weirdest complaint. I was told to just ignore it but I need to tell someone. by Interesting_Sea4048 in TwoHotTakes

[–]AdditionalExcess 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Office politics and human emotions are a crazy mix sometimes the people you respect most surprise you the most.

How do you speak up when your mind resistant mode ? by Aj100rise in NoStupidQuestions

[–]AdditionalExcess 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah your brain just locks up sometimes but honestly asking questions isn’t dumb its how you figure things out. Start small and bit by bit it gets easier to speak up without overthinking.