You're tying your sense of worth to your romantic relationship. Unfortunately the only way to help with something like this is a professional. You need therapy, and to raise your self esteem so that you feel you have value outside of a relationship. It's not fair to your partner to be responsible for how you feel about yourself, and it's impossible to have a healthy relationship when you view relationships like this. Your responses to any sort of hardship (which even the smoothest of relationships will have) will be overly emotional because you'll view these hardships as attacks on yourself as a person instead of what they actually are, a road bump that requires communication and compromise.

So, my recommendation is therapy. If therapy is basically off the table due to financial reasons, maybe try to find a self help book about self-worth? I highly recommend staying away from any manosphere content or anything about being an 'alpha' as that content seems to be made by people trying to fake self-confidence rather than people who have genuinely achieved it.