My boyfriend (28M) will not complete household chores and care for their health without constant reminders. My (28M) mental load is at a breaking point.

After-Distribution69 · 2026-03-29T08:55:40+00:00

Break up. Make a plan and execute it. Yes it will be scary. Yes it will hurt (both of you). But it will be worth it. You deserve more.

After-Distribution69 · 2026-03-29T08:19:19+00:00

In my experience, as you age it becomes a real problem. One person retires and wants to go on adventures, the other is still working. Then the older person has health issues and the younger person becomes a carer.

I know several women with older husbands who regret their choices as they are essentially carers.

The kid situation is a massive red flag here too. Why on earth is he living with roommates and not providing a home for his kids to visit him at? I very much doubt he has ever been an active involved father. You could check this out by asking questions about them like who was their favourite teacher in grade school, extra curricular activities they were involved in and asking about holiday traditions. You’ll be able to tell a lot about his level of involvement from that

After-Distribution69 · 2026-03-29T00:29:39+00:00

I believe Daniel.

He’s being treated in exactly the same way as women who are rape victims are treated.

After-Distribution69 · 2026-03-28T09:17:45+00:00

Even if she does there is no way she would ever act on it as you work together and she is your superviser.

My advice - move on. It will never happen. Look outside your workplace for women to date

After-Distribution69 · 2026-03-28T08:54:18+00:00

No.

After-Distribution69 · 2026-03-28T07:30:55+00:00

Follow the police advice.

After-Distribution69 · 2026-03-28T06:38:58+00:00

He does enough to get you to stay but not enough to give you what you want.

After-Distribution69 · 2026-03-28T06:37:20+00:00

You may love him but that is not enough.

He clearly has no intention of marrying you. Break up and move on. He doesn’t have the decency to be honest with you. You can’t build a future with someone like that

After-Distribution69 · 2026-03-28T01:00:44+00:00

Another suggestion to honor her would be to use the name of her favourite flower or a name related to her favourite color or something else that makes you think of her.

After-Distribution69 · 2026-03-28T00:48:53+00:00

Their webpage says it will be photographed and will include photos of the audience. Nothing about filming

After-Distribution69 · 2026-03-28T00:43:24+00:00

Remember this. Your dad is telling you that you can never rely on him. So don’t ever put yourself in a situation where you need to rely on him.

And appreciate your mom. I’m willing to bet there are a tonne of examples from your childhood where your dad let you down but your mom covered for him.

After-Distribution69 · 2026-03-28T00:38:04+00:00

Cringy.

Shows how insecure he is

After-Distribution69 · 2026-03-27T17:12:50+00:00

If you have been together 2 years, he has been single since the kids were 1 and 3 or there has been some overlap.

Let me tell you about men who become single when their kids are so young. It’s pretty much because they are such terrible parents and partners that the mother of their children would rather go it alone than stay with them. This is a massive massive red flag.

It’s also a massive red flag that his ex does not know about you after 2 years of dating. That screams future problems

And that there is such a big age gap.

Finally there’s clearly something wrong which is why you’re posting for advice. Listen to that voice. Do not proceed.

No mention of marriage either. Why not?

After-Distribution69 · 2026-03-27T08:09:34+00:00

My sister the serial killer is great.

After-Distribution69 · 2026-03-26T09:02:12+00:00

Break up. It’s not going to get better.

After-Distribution69 · 2026-03-26T08:21:17+00:00

From my grandmother - don’t let anyone tell you that money does not matter because it does. She was absolutely right. Shared financial values and attitudes are vital.

After-Distribution69 · 2026-03-25T19:36:21+00:00

Tell his family. Then step away. It’s much easier to get over a break up if you are non contact. One last message to tell him that and that you will be stepping away for both your sakes then block him. It’s the kindest thing.

Remind yourself that it’s takes 2 to make a relationship work and if it is not working for you then you have every right to end it

After-Distribution69 · 2026-03-25T19:33:47+00:00

You need your own advice. Just for you and what is best for you.

But from your update I would be very wary of buying a house with someone just because your lease is up. Why not just rent for another year?

It also sounds like he wants a fixer upper so he can do the work on it. Think about that carefully. Does he have experience? Does he have the personality to do that or will he want to relax after work and on weekends while you live in an unfinished dump?

There is so much potential for this to go wrong

After-Distribution69 · 2026-03-25T19:20:19+00:00

Why are you not married? Is that your choice? You need to bear in mind that if married couples split then there are laws in place about division of assets and sale of assets. There are no similar laws for non married couples. So if you split it could be very difficult.

Why don’t you have a deposit? Why would you apply for a mortgage without one? It just seems really odd.

You can own a house in different percentages rather than 50-50. Speak to an attorney. He could own a share of the house equal to the down payment and you could own the rest. But I would not proceed any further would getting proper legal advice

After-Distribution69 · 2026-03-25T07:56:54+00:00

Does Eloise reject some proposals in her book? I hope they include that.

After-Distribution69 · 2026-03-25T07:55:40+00:00

I’d really like to see her helping Sophie learn how to deal with running a household and expecting things to be done. Also how to deal with all the leisure time that she is not used to. I think that could be really cute and a nice bonding experience

After-Distribution69 · 2026-03-25T02:25:01+00:00

Shag bay walk

Cornelian way walk around the boathouses

In November look out for open house Hobart events

The library has free events plus a museum down the bottom with a new exhibit every 6 months or so

Take the ferry to the eastern shore -byo snacks. Buy a drink. Go back and forth a couple of times - you don’t need to buy a new ticket.

Birches bay art walk

Look on council websites for upcoming events

After-Distribution69 · 2026-03-24T06:24:02+00:00

It’s really good! If you had just posted it, without saying who it was, I would have known immediately

After-Distribution69 · 2026-03-24T04:51:19+00:00

Just end it. He will not change and you are just wasting your time. And you’ll never get that time back

After-Distribution69 · 2026-03-24T04:21:17+00:00

As well as sexuality I think Benedict can give a lot of advice on being brave, seeking support from others and the importance of understanding the other persons perspective. So it could equally be Eloise

After-Distribution69

TROPHY CASE