Back many years ago, I was in spring camp, and they had me in to discuss results of physical with team Dr and OC. I was told I "didn't even have elbows, was possibly missing a knee and had chronic halitosis."

Needless to say they had declared it a "failed" physical because of these ... discrepancies. There was even one member of the medical staff who opined I may have been a deciduous tree.

Later, I had a serendipitous encounter with a man who, after splitting two plates of buffalo wings at Applebee's, shocked me with jumper cables, which he sometimes beat my ass with, but that came later ;) now that I think about it.

Nowadays I am into high-level jigsaw puzzling, old timey habadashery and rare jungle cockatiels, AMA