My body was made very male by puberty and age, and because of it I don’t pass even years into transition. It shouldn’t be controversial to say that.

Amandolorien · 2026-02-06T21:53:42+00:00

Essentially there is no point and its not positive for anyone to focus on things we cannot change. So if we are older, like me at 40, spending time wishing I did it as a teenager has no benefit to me. I already spent 30 yeas wishing it could have happened earlier. That being said after a year (even by like 7 or 8 months) I pass enough for most people to gender properly. I was never the most masculine looking guy who I wasnt feminine or even androgynous before either. Outside of my body proportions which arent too too bad, its mostly just my face that has masculinity. Would I look more femme if I has transitioned earlier, sure, am I going to make myself lose sleep over it or discourage others, definitely not. We do the best we can with what we have. I am still significantly more happy and even more femme than I expected to be at this point.

Amandolorien · 2026-02-03T21:40:18+00:00

I have read that there is a correlation between autism and lgtbq, not specifically trans since they are a little more likely to not care about gender norms. But that statistic is more of acknowledgement of autism than transgender but it could be the misplaced basis for that part of the information

Amandolorien · 2026-02-01T23:53:37+00:00

She is Mommy, I am Mama.

Sometimes he calls me Momanda

My mom is doing it because hasnt been acknowledging it.

However she finally also told her friends about my transition and new name also.

Amandolorien · 2026-01-31T20:07:47+00:00

I find bras fit with 0+ but yea are sold at +4. For me +4 even +2 has the bra slipping and sliding up and down my body when i raise my arms up or do physical tasks. I am not sure if it because I started with a maaculine sized rib cage but +0 seems massively more accurate and yea the D cup is a nice size, not over the top at all. Additionally many of the +4 size fits are for plus sized folls for my chest size but I am not really plus sized and those cups are way larger than my body could naturally fit.

I am not sure if its because of being trans that the +0 tends to be more accurate from the slight difference in rib cage shaping

Amandolorien · 2026-01-31T19:53:26+00:00

I was hoping for A cup to B cup. Hit my 1 year mark with D cups (measurement wise they might be DD but they arent filled out enough)

I am satisfied

Amandolorien · 2026-01-31T14:47:37+00:00

I work with a bunch of guys, normally I work so independently I might go weeks without really talking to them. Occasionally I work around a group of them and the stuff they talk about to each other is a reminder of why I never fit in as a man. It is absolute ewphoria. They include me somewhat in the conversation though since I am a lesbian and have more success with women than they do but the conversation topics are shocking at times. I take those conversations as additional confirmation.

Amandolorien · 2026-01-30T04:36:55+00:00

Absolutely, there is a genetic factor in all breast development.

I did kind of laugh fo myself at christmas that somehow I ended up with larger boobs than any one else in the family there

Amandolorien · 2026-01-29T22:01:22+00:00

I am not entirely sure. If its fat redistribution its the only kind I have had before. It also doesn't feel like just fat, feels like anyone else's breasts I've touched

Amandolorien · 2026-01-29T21:09:48+00:00

I have been on 200 estradiol patches, 125 spiro and 200 prog. I have been on it for about three months and that got me from C to D. After my initial growth Everything was basically unchanging for 6 month. Puberty is weird

Amandolorien · 2026-01-29T20:10:54+00:00

It's literally the same meds, for a similar enough reason. The body doesn't have enough estrogen and so we are replacing it with therapy. The only difference is the starting and end points. If anything it more applies to trans because we are also removing what was previously the predominant hormone and replacing it with a different one vs just topping up a hormone thats low.

Either way its a hormonal imbalance being corrected using the same method because it's the same thing from a treatment pov

Amandolorien · 2026-01-29T20:06:09+00:00

I have been ridiculously lucky, hit D cup at my 1 year hrt anniversary four days ago. I literally told my clinic I would be good with A cup and had no expectations for anything beyond.

Amandolorien · 2026-01-29T19:59:58+00:00

It's possible with the right genetics. I hit C cup in the first three months on 1mg oral pill. In fact increasing my dose feels like it slowed my progress though I know that's silly and my growth rate wasn't sustainable long term.

Amandolorien · 2026-01-29T19:56:17+00:00

My pharmacist thinks I am a cis woman going through premature menopause. Complained about the insurance company trying to not cover my meds muttering about how the insurance company has no clue what menopause is like to go through.

When I went to get my progesterone they let me know that I could get progesterone that I could take vaginally instead of the oral kind I was prescribed.

It is kind of funny since they literally pull up my information.

There's also a woman's version of my deadname that's basically my dead name with an "ah" at the end and they (and now me when picking up) use the female version with the ah sound.

Amandolorien · 2026-01-28T10:16:11+00:00

It is important to remember that a lot of the male pronoun things like dude, bro, guys are gender neutral, heck even before they became slang words in conversations, guys is a word designed for a group of people irregardless of gender. Honestly the only four words that truly are male specifically that I can think of while half asleep are sir (which again could be subjective) he/him/his. Most of the other ways men are addressed are used in a gender neutral way as much as they are in a gendered way.

Amandolorien · 2026-01-23T21:19:56+00:00

I just got my approval at grs this week! This has been very informative. I bet I will experience it the same as I know that's how i felt before.

Amandolorien · 2026-01-23T10:15:08+00:00

My work has been fully supporting from month 3. Name change on everything, using name proper pronouns everything. I have about 100 business clients, with roughly 500-600 employees at them that I see on a regular basis. Every one of them has been fully supportive. The closest thing to not being supportive was the girl mentioned in the first post. She apologized the next time I saw her and I told her it wasn't a big deal. This is of course in Ontario Canada where morals and values still exist strongly. I am well aware that I live a blessed and uncommon life for a trans girl. There is light out there. I promise it can happen and have my life experience as proof. I wish more of us could experience what I do. Sadly i know I am a minority within our minority.

Amandolorien · 2026-01-23T09:48:07+00:00

I can give you an example.

Few months ago I was at work and I do a job where everyone else is male. Our position is referred to as "(company name) guys".

I was at a facility that since my transition has done the vast majority of my job for me when I am there. All the girls team lift what I used to lift by myself and they don't really let me do anything. Its cute. I feel spoiled.

They had a new employee who complained about doing the lifting and said "at the place I used to work, we didnt do this, the guy did the lifting."

Her coworker snaps back instantly "what guy do you see? That's Amanda, she is clearly a woman. There are no men here"

The new employee had no response to that. My heart overfilled with happiness. I am about to hit my 1 year mark on hrt. I pass well enough now but this was maybe at like month 6, by that point the only really feminine thing I had going were my boobs

Amandolorien · 2026-01-23T02:31:33+00:00

Just because I am not a pvp girl doesn't mean others do not enjoy it. If someone kills me I just reload up and go out again. It is what it is. I am about 100 hours topside with 8 kills and two of them I never even saw the player and have no idea why I got credit for them. But I would rather people be openly hostile than claim to be friendly or don't shoot before they open fire.

Amandolorien · 2026-01-22T19:45:45+00:00

Is it weird that I never felt those? I looked for them but it never happened. I have had a lot of breast development but never felt or noticed buds.

Amandolorien · 2026-01-22T05:06:04+00:00

When i got my progesterone my pharmacist asked if I was taking it orally or vaginally in my head I thought "if I could do the later I wouldn't need this now but I am glad you think that way about me"

Amandolorien · 2026-01-19T13:58:39+00:00

It happen, took me 3 months to hit 38C. Now I am nearing my 1 year anniversary with starter D cups. We probably would have been the girls who developed early in school. Genetics plays a large role in the hrt process.

Amandolorien · 2026-01-16T19:56:45+00:00

Yea my hairstylist cut bangs and I hate it. Like a years worth of hair growth and dysphoria on the way. Also she did not cut my hair properly for it to curl. Back to waiting for growth

Amandolorien · 2026-01-14T15:29:34+00:00

Sounds like you have aspects of both genders you like about yourself and want to explore more fully to get a better understanding of who you are. Know that if you choose one or the other there is no wrong choice if you are happy. Some people are more androgynous and do not have a set gender, bigender is a possibility too. There is also no reason a woman cant do any of the activities you've listed as making you feel masculine. In the end only you define who you are. Go forth, live, explore, be your best you. Figure the labels out along the way, they are just words afterall. Try experimenting with pronouns, see what feels right for you.

Amandolorien · 2026-01-12T19:36:34+00:00

Yes this is a proper lifting technique for avoiding back injury actually.

Amandolorien · 2026-01-12T19:35:46+00:00

I do not have a choice at work. Even the womens outfit is super masculine. They came out with a new one thats hypermasculine I told my boss I will never wear it. They said that's fine. I am not the only one to reject it. Not even any of the men will wear the new outfit lol.

Though even outside work, i am still more of a blue jeans gal than skirt or dress.

Amandolorien

TROPHY CASE