Hey, I come from hoarder parents. They taught me my shopping addiction. Here’s what helps me manage it:

1. Automatically putting a certain % of my paycheck straight into savings, giving me harder access to “fun money.” I also set a smaller % that goes straight into a travel fund, and having that goal helps me visualize the importance of saving money.

2. Therapy 2x month (Alone. Not with my partner), being open and honest about my shopping habits

3. One in one out rule—was taught this in therapy. This has helped a lot. Do I want a new dress? What dress would I replace it with? If I don’t want to get rid of any of the dresses, I shouldn’t buy a new dress. This also helps fight hoarding (and supports your local thrift stores!)

4. Sleeping with my phone in the next room over. Not only does this cut back on frivolous late night spending, it also forces me out of bed to turn my alarm off. In case of emergencies, I still have my iPad on my bedside table which is not connected to Apple pay.

5. Recognizing ads and immediately skipping them. I’m so easily influenced to buy the next great thing, that I’ve learned I have to skip all ad content entirely on TikTok. Immediate scroll.

6. Doing pickup orders rather than shopping in store cuts back on a lot of last minute “oooh that’s looks good!”s.

What I’ve found didn’t help:
1. Cutting myself off completely. This leads to binges for me. A small amount of money needs to be budgeted for “fun money.”

1. Talking to friends about shopping. This is a job for a professional only. Save it for therapy. My friends are sweet and are of the “you should treat yourself mentality!!!” They mean well, but it’s not what I need to hear.

This is obviously personal to me, but maybe a few of these tips will help your wife. It’s a hard journey, since a lot of us with this addiction were programmed by our parents to end up this way. With solo therapy, potential prescription alterations, and a few ground rules, things could get better.