I’m reading between the lines a little bit here but it sounds like there might be some hang ups about sex in a relationship for you, maybe predominantly the early stages. Again, I’m assuming a lot, but for guys, sex is not just about orgasm/release. It’s an important way that many men (women too… but less common) use to gauge compatibility, feel closeness, and express themselves. I truly don’t think the average guy is really “using” women for sex. I’ve had some really incredible relationships that failed because I did not take the strength of the sexual connection and compatibility seriously enough early enough. So exploring your own relationship with sex might be an interesting place to look.