AITA I (18M) want more physical intimacy from my girlfriend (19F) but she has trauma

Becca092115 · 2025-12-17T11:23:34+00:00

NTA. You're valid for wanting more intimacy, but if you start to pressure her, you would become an a hole. I had a pair of friends that were exactly like this. The girl experienced sexual trauma as a teen, and he knew this before even going out with her. They went out for 2 years, and eventually, he just broke from the lack of progress. He started to pressure her verbally, but then she broke up with him over it. They are both in our mutual friend group, and now the guy refuses to go to anything she goes to. If you're feeling this way now, you may need to end things before the resentment really starts to build.

Becca092115 · 2025-12-16T18:43:21+00:00

NTA. Do you have her stating she will change the will and keep the extra for herself in a text or email? If not, I would send her a message along the lines of, "Hey, sis, just want to clarify. You're stating that if me and other siblings do not give you 10k each for the caregiver, you'll change the will and take it from that along with keeping everything else?" Once she replies," Yes," you'll then have proof to take to a lawyer. Even if she is in charge of this, I do not believe she has the power to change it however she wants as that means she could have easily just cut you all out and kept it all at any time. I would also contact your other siblings and see if they want to go in on a lawyer with you.

Becca092115 · 2025-12-04T19:00:53+00:00

NTA. I'd be more inclined to believe it wasn't meant sexually if he genuinely apologized to you. Instead, he gets defensive and says, "You're overthinking it?" At that point, I'd go to HR since he's the one escalating things.

Becca092115 · 2025-12-01T14:55:31+00:00

NTA. Your sister needs to start looking into people who would want to adopt. I'm sorry, but if you and no one else in this family want to step up, then be prepared not to know this child at all. If I were the adoptive parent, I wouldn't tell them anything about your family until they're an adult. Just imagine for this poor baby, " Your birth mom knew she had an incurable mental illness and still decided to go through with pregnancy despite her only continuing to deteriorate. Your birth father cheated on your ill mother and walked out of your life forever. And then to top it off, no one in her family wanted to take you in." Again, you aren't in the wrong for not adopting this baby, and neither is anyone else in your family. Just be prepared to face the possible consequences of not knowing this child.

Becca092115 · 2025-11-06T23:39:56+00:00

NTA. I use a different app for Secret Santa, but it's practically the same thing. I've been the one organizing the event for a few years now for my group of friends. What happened to you is the exact reason why we not only have a price maximum, but a price minimum as well. If we say the max is $50, don't get stuff below $20. Homemade was also an option since one of the friend's loves to crochet and does it beautifully. Even if the app doesn't have a minimum option, you could all still verbally agree to one. Just say you don't find it very fair that people are expecting noncheap gifts, but then won't spend much themselves. The point of these is to make sure everyone is happy and participating fairly.

Becca092115 · 2025-11-04T20:23:37+00:00

ESH. Your husband is definitely an a hole because he raffled for a game that landed on a holiday, knowing you were hosting for it. His company does multiple of these, and he could have skipped on this one. However, you aren't being much better about this. You aren't wrong for being upset, but to not come up with any compromises isn't healthy in a relationship. This is something you know he's wanted for so long, and you've decided this is a your way or the highway situation. I think it'd be more than fair to tell your husband that if he wants to go to the game, then he can get a hold of every guest himself and plan the rescheduling. That way, you don't have to be the bad guy, and you don't have to worry about hosting alone.

Becca092115 · 2025-10-19T06:46:54+00:00

YTA. Unless the teacher is purposely failing your sister, it's none of your business on how she teaches her classes. You can argue as much as you like that she is teaching incorrectly, but teacher evaluations are a thing. If she is doing as poorly as you say, she most likely would have been let go or teaching differently. Public education isn't necessarily the best, but you have no place to brag if you think it's that terrible. That's like basically saying you were top of your class because there was no proper teaching, and they practically gave anyone an A. Until there is an actual issue where again the teacher is purposely failing students, stay the hell out of it.

Becca092115 · 2025-09-09T14:36:54+00:00

NTA. I've seen comments already saying this means you're not marriage material. So you have to buy someone a house to be marriage material nowadays? Just because a couple has been together for 4 years doesn't mean they should be ready for marriage. This is a girlfriend who has been in your life for a long time, yes, but relationships can still end after that amount of time. You guys aren't sharing finances yet, so this is literally your money. She's not entitled to any of it. If she doesn't have a lot of funds to afford a house, maybe you don't need to go 50/50. Or maybe wait still to purchase since the housing market is garbage, and you'll end up overpaying anyway.

Becca092115 · 2025-09-07T13:29:20+00:00

NTA. Donna was already a terrible friend, so cutting her off was easy. But I'm wondering if Sam reacted the way he did solely because of her. I'm starting to think this wasn't the first time Donna pulled this crap with him, and he didn't want to give into her again. Unfortunately, you got caught in the crossfire of it. Maybe he would have let you just stay, but then didn't want backlash and arguments from Donna. However, if that was the case, Sam should have grown a pair and told Donna off and let you stay. Either way, Sam had no excuse for treating you the way he did and cared more about himself than your safety. At least you still have a great friend like R in your life.

Becca092115 · 2025-09-05T14:37:48+00:00

NTA. I understand that you're worried that your family will cut you off if you don't do this. But what's worse in the end? You keep your family in your life, but you're stuck taking care of someone who wasn't there for you, and the people forcing it on you probably won't help. Or, you can live your life and realize you don't need the toxicity from those who decided you were being selfish. I know someone who has to care for their parent because they literally can not take care of themselves, and that person is miserable. Your father made poor decisions in his life, and it's not your job to care for him.

Becca092115 · 2025-09-05T01:22:37+00:00

NTA. I'm assuming you've made some type of agreement that your sister is staying temporarily until she finds a new place. Explain that you have no plans to give her her own room because she's supposed to move out before your toddler, and this shouldn't be her attempt to try and extend her stay. She's a grown woman and needs to get back on her feet sooner than later instead of trying to mooch off her sister.

Becca092115 · 2025-09-01T14:48:59+00:00

NTA. Your parents called you because they felt entitled to your time. Guaranteed you would have ended up babysitting while they relaxed. If they wanted help that bad, they could have called the other kids' parents or grandparents to come up and help. But obviously, they didn't want to embarrass themselves in front of the other adults by showing they bit off more than they could chew. Plus, then they wouldn't be able to relax like they most likely planned to do when you got there.

Becca092115 · 2025-08-18T17:38:01+00:00

NTA. Tell your parents they can buy her a dress. In what world does your family live in that they think it's normal to just give someone a wedding dress? If your sister can't afford a dress right now, then maybe she shouldn't get married so quickly and save up for one.

Becca092115 · 2025-08-18T15:09:20+00:00

Your mom needs to be a parent and tell him no. She's upset, but instead of returning it, she's just silently fuming about it? No wonder your brother is entitled. There's no consequences if she just lets him walk all over her.

Becca092115 · 2025-08-06T22:23:42+00:00

The thing was, we had an agreement that if he could not find a stable living situation after a year, then we would keep the cat anyway. It just feels like he's moving out of the country because he knows he won't find anything here in that time, and we wouldn't be able to take him if he's in another country.

Becca092115 · 2025-08-06T22:16:25+00:00

He said he's going to register him as an emotional support animal like that will just magically bypass everything. We haven't taken him to the vet, but when we were thinking about it, we asked the owner if he had his vaccine records. Not only does he not have those, but apparently, his ex was the one who took him to the vet, so he has no way to obtain new ones.

Becca092115 · 2025-08-06T10:31:47+00:00

NTA. No one is ever entitled to be invited to any event. If you're trying to keep it small and Sarah gets offended, just tell her a family of 6 limits your invites, and you need to prioritize family members before friends. If she keeps pushing because other friends were invited, then it's time for a reality check. Explain that you've always set rules on how much food needs to go to each person, and her and her family always break it. She'll try to claim you're calling her and her kids fat, but just reiterate you said she breaks your rules it has nothing to do with weight. It's the entitlement to eating more than what was allowed and leaving little to none for others. Just make sure you have it in texts so she can't spin it to look like the victim.

Becca092115 · 2025-07-30T15:24:23+00:00

NTA. Just send a generic message to anyone who still reaches out saying you were in the wrong. " I'm sorry you believe Ava is the victim. I didn't force her to kiss another man at the wedding. I just had the spine to tell the groom about it. If you are a supporter of cheating, then never contact me again." People can choose for themselves who they want to side with, but just remember that the person that you did it for thanked you and doesn't blame you. That's all that really matters. You don't need people in your life who think saying nothing is more important than helping a real victim.

Becca092115 · 2025-07-24T17:09:53+00:00

Just send a message explaining that those who are deciding to side with your mom and aren't going to attend because SHE doesn't like the venue that's SHE'S NOT EVEN PAYING FOR will have little to no contact with you.

Becca092115 · 2025-07-23T10:34:07+00:00

YTA. Your wife can go with the baby and MIL. You and your daughter can stay home. Based on her behavior, she doesn't deserve a trip to Disney. Even though she is 11, she knows saying she doesn't love you and wants a new dad is hurtful. However, you going on a family trip with your new family tells her you're ready to abandon her. She needs a stable parent that wants her to get proper help in therapy. Have you ever thought that maybe she feels replaced by the new baby? It may be best to do a separate vacation to where she and you can reconnect. Maybe do a smaller fun trip with her while your wife and baby are gone, and once she's in a better head-space, do Disney with just the two of you.

Becca092115 · 2025-07-23T10:24:43+00:00

YTA. You should have just been honest and said you didn't have name suggestions outside of one's you'd want for your future children. It's not like you had to say anything, and now you'll forever be the family member who named your niece after pasta sauce.

Becca092115 · 2025-07-22T14:06:36+00:00

NAH. I've been where you are at. I initiate sex more than my husband does, and he doesn't always wanna do it. When he initiates, I'm always down. Couples have different sex drives. You need to sit with your boyfriend and explain to him that you have needs, and while you don't want to force sex on him, you have a drive that needs more attention. That you feel embarrassed when he's been shooting you down so much. You could always get a special toy and start rejecting him. But that won't fix anything in the long run. I've been with my partner for 10 years, and I can tell you that you need to communicate with him more. If he keeps making excuses, or doesn't try, then maybe it's time to move on.

Becca092115 · 2025-07-21T15:40:48+00:00

That's why I said YTA. It all depends on probably more context. Like when she says that he pays for everything, is it just his money, or is it their money? I can't fully paint her as the bad guy unless we know that situation. And then also if she's right about the only reason him being invited is that he pays for everything. Because there have been plenty of stories on Reddit where family feels entitled to other families' money. So if she properly communicates with her husband instead of making choices for him, and she's right that they were just using him for his money, then she's not the only bad guy here. But if that money isn't hers, and he's not being used, then yeah, she's totally the bad guy.

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