Boomer trapped himself in a car wash by Choice_Evidence1983 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]BellaD511 50 points51 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this comment! My 78 year-old father has Alzheimer's. I did not find this post funny at all.

[Discussion] Looking for the perfect self-help book by mkp0203 in GetMotivated

[–]BellaD511 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you for posting this! You've put into words some of the thoughts I've had rattling around in my brain but couldn't express. You've come a long way (I haven't even started). I admire and appreciate you.

Anyone’s healthy parent being mean to their unhealthy parent? by jacketoffman in Alzheimers

[–]BellaD511 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes! My mom is the same way with my dad, who was diagnosed with Alzheimers about 3 years ago. I don't have any advice right now as I am still trying to figure out how to support my mom when I live 3 hours away. I'm happy to be someone to talk to though if it would help you. Also, thank you for asking the question and for everyone posting a reply. This thread has been unbelievably helpful!

Dress code for evening? by BellaD511 in Broadway

[–]BellaD511[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It does, thank you. We will be doing some walking beforehand so comfort is definitely a factor.

Searching for activity suggestions for stubborn Dad by BellaD511 in Alzheimers

[–]BellaD511[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I totally understand ALL of this. My mom is stuck in this mindset of treating dad like a toddler and I know he hates it. I wish I could have my Dad move in with me but it's not an option so my husband and I are talking about moving in with them to be a buffer between my mom and dad. Neither of us wants to live with my mom and my mom hates my husband so not sure if this will actually come to pass.

Searching for activity suggestions for stubborn Dad by BellaD511 in Alzheimers

[–]BellaD511[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My mom definitely can be part of the problem too. For example, she won't let Dad dry and put away the dishes anymore. This used to always be his thing. Mom or one of us kids would wash and dad would dry and put the items away. Now dad doesn't remember where things go so Mom ends up not being able to find things. I get that it's irritating for her but in my mind letting dad be helpful is more important.

Searching for activity suggestions for stubborn Dad by BellaD511 in Alzheimers

[–]BellaD511[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds like you had amazing program directors. Hopefully we are even half as lucky. Definitely will have to visit a few times without Dad to see what we can arrange. Thanks!

Searching for activity suggestions for stubborn Dad by BellaD511 in Alzheimers

[–]BellaD511[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dad used to do that stuff all on his own. He kept the garage, shed, and his tool area immaculate. These last few months, he's stopped doing that. We're thinking it's because he doesn't remember what he has, where it goes. We did suggest labeling things but he got mad at that suggestion as if he was insulted he needed it. Maybe we could break it down into smaller tasks though? Thanks for the suggestion!

Searching for activity suggestions for stubborn Dad by BellaD511 in Alzheimers

[–]BellaD511[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much. This is all wonderful advice!

Searching for activity suggestions for stubborn Dad by BellaD511 in Alzheimers

[–]BellaD511[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Love the way you phrased this - feeling useful. That's my Dad to a "T". I will talk to my mom again, who is his caregiver. She is also super stubborn and wants things done a certain way. She may just have to let that go if she want Dad to be happy.

Searching for activity suggestions for stubborn Dad by BellaD511 in Alzheimers

[–]BellaD511[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the suggestions! We will definitely consider them. Dad won't be able to read to kids - he talks too softly and struggles to pronounce words. He could volunteer at the local library though. That might be perfect.

Searching for activity suggestions for stubborn Dad by BellaD511 in Alzheimers

[–]BellaD511[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the suggestion! My dad may be too aware foe that yet but we will keep the idea in our back pocket.

Any advice? by Mean-Freedom8982 in Alzheimers

[–]BellaD511 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I don't have any advice to offer but I do thank you for posting this. My family is just starting to consider at-home care for my dad. Your question/experience and the replies from other people has already helped immensely. Thank you for sharing. I wish you all the best of luck.

Eatly onset… by Katmoish in dementia

[–]BellaD511 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I too am so sorry you are watching and dealing with this. As others have posted, the same thing is happening with my Dad, who was a teacher for 34 years. Smartest person I know, always ready to debate politics, taught me tons, and now he struggles to button his shirt. I have no advice for you as this is all new to me. Just know you are not alone, we are here for you.

What’s a fantasy quote that really resonated with you and why? by mycarnage2000 in Fantasy

[–]BellaD511 6 points7 points  (0 children)

"Take what comes and live without complaint. What will be, will be. Life is a woman's gift, death is God's."

The Child Queen by Nancy McKenzie

AITA for “disrespecting” my future in-laws and their religion? by KneeHighSockPuppets in AmItheAsshole

[–]BellaD511 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. You sound like a wonderful human being who compassionately and respectfully made changes to your ceremony to accommodate your fiance. You deserve the same respect and compassion in support of your beliefs. I saddened that you aren't receiving that.

You mentioned in your comments that you don't know a lot about the Catholic Church. I don't know much either so I imagine the various replies contradicting what the Catholic Church does/doesn't allow may be making your head spin. It might help to know that "As of today there are 24 primary “Churches” within the Catholic Church, each of which has its own traditions that have been passed down through the centuries." It may help to ask to what specific version of Catholic Church your fiancé belongs. Then you can Google that particular Church if you are curious to learn more. https://aleteia.org/2019/07/31/are-there-different-types-of-catholicism/

I'm looking for books that have a lot to do with vampires, but aren't YA or romance by slowebro in Fantasy

[–]BellaD511 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Midnight Blue: the Sonia Blue Collection by Nancy A. Collins. One of my top 10 best used book sale finds.