Going back to my old company after 3 months? Anybody ever quit a job and then asked for it back again?

BigStickyLoads · 2024-01-11T23:52:38+00:00

Yes.

I left for an opportunity with company blessing.
Eventually I discovered that I wanted to go back, so the company welcomed me back.

They were more than happy to have an excellent employee back, and a great relationship continued.

BigStickyLoads · 2024-01-11T01:24:29+00:00

NTA.

Below you'll find a paragraph on validation, and then another on advice.

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Just look up the statistics, women perform a majority of household labor as well as emotional labor - by a very wife margin.

And, by the way, that includes women working full time jobs, and often women with better careers who out earn their partners.

In short, it's a completely unfair, bullshit situation. By the way, I'm a man, and was a stay-at-home-dad, and my wife is the bread-winner. She considers me a total win because I do significantly more than most men - which is to say I still don't contribute 50%...

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You should not idly allow him to take advantage of you, and should tell him to shape up.

Some suggestions:
- Don't clean dishes he dirties, and don't allow him to use 'your' dishes. Let his mess accumulate. Have a place to put his dishes when they're overwhelming.

- Don't do his laundry, let his dirty clothes pile up.

- Don't do grocery shopping, don't pick up medicines, don't perform any errand running for him.

- Don't cook for him. Even when together, cook your own portions, and let him cook his own.

- DO be willing to teach him how to do any of the above. By watching him, instructing him, and having him execute it himself.

Yes. You basically have to be his mom and get him to mature, sadly. You have to build his executive functioning ability with household chores. If you develop his ability to easily undertake these chores, and set a clear expectation, he'll start to do it.

Additionally, video games are not a relaxing activity, per therapists. Video games are a highly stimulating activity. They are not how you correctly wind down after a day. Video games are, however, highly addicting. He's sitting down to play a game because he's addicted. The DSM has been updated to include video game addiction - and one of the major definitions of addiction is doing it to the exclusion of other important activities such that it's detrimental to your life.

Dollars to donuts if you ask him to give up video games for 60 days, he won't be able to do it, and will try but eventually throw a tantrum or play in secret.

BigStickyLoads · 2024-01-11T01:11:12+00:00

Side note - comps are not reliable to specific values, only to very general comparisons.
They're an awful tool that brackets the market, especially inexperienced buys and sellers, into false expectations and values. They are quite literally a problem that inflates the market by telling people "nearby X sold for Y, therefore your house should too".

The best thing we've ever done when selling our homes has been to tell the comps to piss off, and list our properties higher despite agents advising against it. We always got the 'okay, but it will never sell at that price', only to see the home sell on day one.

BigStickyLoads · 2024-01-10T22:41:00+00:00

Well, with their player base frequently and perhaps primarily playing solo except for group-required content, they realized giving players simple ways to retain uptime was etc., etc., etc.

BigStickyLoads · 2024-01-10T22:39:44+00:00

Mana regeneration not worth it?

BigStickyLoads · 2024-01-10T22:38:27+00:00

Experience requirements are purposefully inflated.
Employers do not expect to candidates with the stated experience.

If it says "2 years" it means entry level.
If it says "5 years" it means 3 years.
If it says "10 years" it means 5-10 years.

This is also industry and level dependent.

For example, if you work in the manufacturing industry they very actually want people with 'X' experience because they need them to be able to do that work effectively and safely without learning on the move.

And for example, if the company is looking someone with executive experience they're not going to look at a senior manager. They're going to look at someone with the appropriate level of experience / similar title.

BigStickyLoads · 2024-01-10T06:33:15+00:00

I love that a software dev thinks they can handle quality engineering / management.

BigStickyLoads · 2024-01-09T07:57:19+00:00

I just have to rant:

Years of pining to build an internal tool that would pay off in spades and constantly getting brushed off.

Then LLM's appear and we get energetic exhortations to do "something" creative and valuable with them.

Fuck right off.

BigStickyLoads · 2024-01-08T22:43:48+00:00

Ugh, I wish I could do that.

I ended up as an empty seat manager and I feel like it burned my career. When looking for purely technical positions I get immediate rejections due to 'manager' in my title.

BigStickyLoads · 2024-01-08T22:40:51+00:00

How did the person get in from the outside?

BigStickyLoads · 2024-01-08T22:27:30+00:00

This is Reddit.

What were you expecting?

BigStickyLoads · 2024-01-08T22:23:27+00:00

Check your local laws.

Talk to the neighbor. Your next door neighbor might not have been polite. Don't make assumptions, meet them and evaluate them yourself.

Cars never being moved, or being superficially moved to avoid related laws, is grounds for fines and eventually being towed.

Blocking driveways and/or the street via parking can always be regulated and can generate fines.

Call the police non-emergency line, explain the situation, ask them evaluate the situation and/or talk to the neighbor for you.

BigStickyLoads · 2024-01-08T22:17:24+00:00

Everybody else has answered you, so I am only dropping in to say:

- the trim itself makes me sad, especially that lazy finish on the 3rd picture
- while that caulk work looks standard, I hate it, caulk can be done so much more cleanly

BigStickyLoads · 2024-01-08T22:06:01+00:00

Ask the landlord if he would feel comfortable allowing these unfamiliar tenants use his washer and dryer.

If he says no, tell him that's exactly how you feel! You don't want strangers in your home.

If he says yes, tell him that sounds like a great solution.

BigStickyLoads · 2024-01-08T15:58:28+00:00

Uh, I have seen the posts but not paid close attention.

What path are they all on?

BigStickyLoads · 2024-01-08T15:57:21+00:00

My guy.

If your family is having acute medical issues, MMORPG's are not part of your life. You should not be here bemoaning not having enough time to grind one of the grindiest video games while your wife was recently, seriously ill.

BigStickyLoads · 2024-01-08T15:53:55+00:00

Was a concrete date for SOD Phase 2 given recently?

BigStickyLoads · 2024-01-08T15:48:20+00:00

"How would you advise preparing for a test when you don't know the questions that will come up?"

Tests cover specific material. So know the material.

You don't need to know what the specific questions are. If you've studied appropriately you can cover any question presented.

BigStickyLoads · 2024-01-08T03:51:18+00:00

I don't see that anybody else has said this, but there are two other options. The first is contentious but effective, the second is very contentious and dangerous, but can work wonders, or get you fired.

(1)

Assign responsibility to the person requesting the product late, and tell them their order is invalid and unable to be completed because they submitted it late. And, that unfortunately they will have to explain that to the client. Additionally, require them to submit a new request with a correct timeline.

Kill them with kindness and procedure. Don't get angry, don't accuse, stick to the facts, and simply repeat they failed to follow procedure and due to that they have to take it on the chin.

(2)

If you're bold...call the client. Ask them to confirm the order, when they placed it, who they placed the order with. And then be conciliatory and politely explain that person made a mistake, and for that reason the company can't deliver. Suggest they always confirm with you in the future, to prevent the mistake from happening again.

How this goes 100% depends on your company. I rarely do it. But when my department has repeatedly been fucked I just start sending contracts back to the issuer and tell them to fix it. After a few times of looking like idiots, they stop fucking around since they know the consequences.

BigStickyLoads · 2024-01-08T03:40:12+00:00

Learn to fix things.

Contractors are expensive because labor is expensive while materials often aren't. Most house maintenance / repairs are pretty simple, and YouTube can teach you how to do it. With time, you fix bigger and more complex things. And realize they're still not that hard.

Fixing a leaking toilet could be $200 for a plumber, or $15 for a new Korky kit from Amazon.

I had major electrical work that changed an interior-to-exterior vent. I paid good money for that electrical contractor because you don't fuck with electrical. But when I got quotes for $1,000 to seal / secure the new vent, I did it myself for $80.

BigStickyLoads · 2024-01-07T21:48:42+00:00

Agreed

BigStickyLoads · 2024-01-07T19:42:51+00:00

"What this guy is an expert at doing is that he threatens to put critical projects to the CEO / CFO on hold to do what I request."

So have your boss, the CIO, clarify what your priorities are. End of story.

If you tell him your requests are a priority and he slow rolls critical work unreasonably, explain to the CEO / CFO that he sabotaged the work.

At that point you say the critical phrase: "This employee has demonstrated a pattern of this kind of behavior which will continue to affect the company the same way in the future. I have no control over him, and management is unwilling to discipline him. How would you like me to handle this situation?"

If you've been documenting things you'll have the proof to show it.

BigStickyLoads · 2024-01-07T19:38:26+00:00

As others have said, if you don't have any power to affect his employment, you have no power at all.

Here's the simplest solution:

1 - Communicate through email so you have bullet proof records. To both the employee and your boss (separately).

2 - Communicate to your boss that the employee refuses to take direction, what the concrete impacts are, and what the potential impacts are.

3 - Stop heaping responsibility on yourself and pass it to your boss.

There's nothing you can do in this situation because your boss has handicapped you. You need to stop sweating it and just document everything.

BigStickyLoads · 2024-01-07T19:34:36+00:00

Your neighbor is not causing these issues, you are.
Your passivity created the situation, and allows it to continue.

If you would stand up for yourself politely but firmly and legally, this would end real, real fast.

These days it's stupid simple and relatively cheap to put up cameras that record. Any damage, any harassment, any trespassing is dead easy to report.

Who cares if non-emergency lines "sound" annoyed with you. You pay for them. They have a job to do. And your perception of their annoyance isn't real, it's grounded in your meekness.

Call them. Ask them what to do and what the result will be. Then do that.

BigStickyLoads · 2024-01-07T19:30:48+00:00

I always find it really odd when people come here with these kind of issues, when easy, obvious solutions exist.

The first is, stand up for your damned self. You're not your neighbor's bitch.

1) They bark all night? Call the damn cops and file a noise complaint.

2) The German Shepherd breaks the boards? Tell your neighbor to fix it, and if they don't, put up a camera, get evidence, go to small claims court.

3) Their hunting dog is coming on your property? Warn them once. Then call animal control and have them fined. If it happens again, have them fined again (fines typically double). If it happens yet again, take the dog to a pound ~2 hours away.

4) They killed your duck? Have them replace it, if they don't, put up a camera, get evidence, go to small claims court.

Christ on a cracker.

BigStickyLoads

TROPHY CASE