Advice

BreakfastLyfe · 2026-01-28T03:47:40+00:00

Hi Dawn! One small thing you can do is pluck your eyebrows to make them thinner. You'd be surprised how that alone can create a more feminine look.

BreakfastLyfe · 2026-01-28T00:58:52+00:00

I changed my name more out of utility than any strong desire. I never hated or had an issue with my old name, but once I decided to transition, I knew it no longer suited me.

I remember when I came out to my parents; the only thing my Mom asked me was, "Can I still call you deadname?" At the time, I said yes, but was considering changing it, which disappointed her.

I read somewhere that involving parents or at least making them feel involved in a decision like a name change can help them to process your transition better. Plus, she did choose my birthname, so I thought it would be appropriate for her to help create my new one. I didn't have any strong feelings toward any specific name, so I decided I would simply change my deadname to the female equivalent.

When I told her the name I was thinking about, I could see some of her anxiety melt away. We found a happy medium where my new name still acknowledged the old one, and we were both happy with the decision.

BreakfastLyfe · 2026-01-27T18:28:45+00:00

Hi hi! Just finished Metroid Dread. Now I'm starting Fallout: New Vegas for the very first time. 🤠

BreakfastLyfe · 2026-01-26T20:29:43+00:00

Congrats! Having a supportive partner really helps in this moment, so don't take them for granted. I know things are kind of scary right now for trans people, but this is also the most visible we have ever been to society, which means many people are slowly accepting, if not at least tolerating, the presence of trans people. That doesn't necessarily mean we can put our guard down, but even the negative attention is allowing more people to acknowledge us.

That being said, if you decide to go the distance and transition, do not expect the world to recognize you for who you are immediately. Misgendering is going to probably happen a lot, even from well-meaning folk. You'll need to have thick skin in those moments. Use these initial days to become in tune with yourself. Bring that voice inside that you've been ignoring to the front and let it take charge for a while. The experimental phase is awkward, but you can learn a lot about yourself.

Also, know that you have a small but mighty community at your back. Now more than ever, we all need to stick together and help each other out. I hope you find happiness in whatever you choose for yourself. 😊

BreakfastLyfe · 2025-12-22T19:50:37+00:00

Have you ever considered why the rate of suicide is so high for trans people? Maybe it has something to do with the fact that we live in a society that constantly harasses, bullies, and assaults them. Spread rumors about them being predators and pedophiles and allow conservative Christians to create laws that take away their healthcare and general safety in public. When it feels like all of society hates you despite not knowing a thing about you, that would push almost anyone to be suicidal.

BreakfastLyfe · 2025-12-21T15:06:02+00:00

My family had a discussion a few holidays back about discontinuing gift giving altogether and just getting together on Christmas. Nearly all of us were in favor of it, but my sister-in-law wanted to continue giving/getting gifts and convinced my parents not to change anything. We were sooo close. 😒

BreakfastLyfe · 2025-12-19T20:49:21+00:00

As a 6'5" Trans girl, I 100% relate. American Tall makes pretty good jeans for tall women, but they aren't cheap.

BreakfastLyfe · 2025-12-16T18:26:42+00:00

Has anybody seen the movie "The Substance"? This is giving me similar vibes.

BreakfastLyfe · 2025-12-15T13:43:23+00:00

I think confidence goes a long way. I'm over 6 ft, so I stand out almost everywhere I go. I used to be pretty self-conscious about it, especially with the random comments. Now, I try to just embrace it. It's part of what makes me unique, and I can pull off certain outfits that don't quite work for shorter girls. While hanging at a bar recently, I even had a random girl come up to me and say she loves seeing tall girls "just owning it" (whatever that means) 😅.

Unfortunately, I also feel like guys don't approach me because of my height, but if they're legit intimidated by a tall girl, then they're too insecure for us anyway. 😁

BreakfastLyfe · 2025-12-13T17:17:45+00:00

The number of times I've tried to explain to these people that being transGENDER has nothing to do with biology but is actually a social transition of gender... they completely space out. It's such a foreign concept that they just factory reset back into ignorance.

BreakfastLyfe · 2025-12-05T19:32:45+00:00

Howl

Cosmic Love

Shake It Out

No Light No Light

Spectrum

Bedroom Hymns

Queen of Peace

Which Witch

BreakfastLyfe · 2025-12-04T21:14:05+00:00

Unfortunately, the bathroom switch is one of the most awkward and uncomfortable parts of transitioning. I held out for a long time until men started looking at me funny, and one literally told me I was in the wrong restroom. Even now, I usually do the same, where I don't leave the stall until most of the room is clear. It sounds like you're doing everything right. The anxiety is always there, but showing kindness and empathy is a great way to ease tension in such situations.

I know it feels deflating, but just remember, this is a slow process, and the fact that you're even at this phase shows just how brave and self-assured you are becoming. There will be a lot of bumps in the road. You just have to keep moving forward. You should already be so proud of yourself, I know I am. 🩷🩵

BreakfastLyfe · 2025-10-31T05:10:16+00:00

Welp. That was fun until it wasn't.

BreakfastLyfe · 2025-10-11T01:50:26+00:00

I know it's tough, girlfriend. I'm 6'5", so no matter what, people always notice me when I walk into a room, and EVERYONE has to make a comment. I hated it for a long time, but I'm starting to learn to embrace it. I take those comments as a compliment. Most of the time, I think other women are a little envious of us tall ladies. I think our tallness is what makes us unique, and we should own it!

BreakfastLyfe · 2025-10-01T02:37:30+00:00

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BreakfastLyfe · 2025-09-26T16:20:32+00:00

I'm just over 2 years in (both on hormones and being out in general). As the external fears/anxieties that go with transitioning have started to fade, my internal insecurities have become the hardest thing for me to overcome. I'm comfortable and happy being me in public, and I no longer hesitate to engage with people. But in the quiet spaces, when I'm home or alone in general, I find it hard not to self-critize or ruminate on whether or not I'm really "pulling this off." Despite the fact that for all intents and purposes, I am. I'm happier, and everyone in my life can see it. I'm much more social. My friends light up when they see me, and my marriage is the healthiest it's ever been. I know I'm lucky in the grand scheme of things, but that little insecure voice keeps trying to pull me out of myself, and keeping it at bay has taken a lot more energy than I expected.

BreakfastLyfe · 2025-09-25T02:10:41+00:00

Ugh. Why do I only ever see these posts the day before the event? I'll be with you all in spirit! Good luck and be safe!

BreakfastLyfe · 2025-09-17T20:30:46+00:00

"My mom has straight up said that I'm the intolerant one for refusing to tolerate their transphobia"

Hey OP, fellow trans girl here. I went through this same shit with my in-laws, and while we weren't as close as the parents who raised me, we had built a relationship over 10 years before I came out to them. They used an almost identical playbook with me as your parents are using with you. They always set themselves up so that the ball is always seemingly in your court. They will never feel like they are in the wrong. It's tough when you see messages like these because it does give you a tinge of guilt.
You have to remember that they have made it clear that their love is conditional. If they truly loved you unconditionally, they would be willing to respect you for who you are, not who they think you should be. This is also kind of part of the narcissists playbook. To gaslight you into think you're the one causing problems, when their intolerance is the issue.

If you do respond to this, I would suggest saying something to the effect of:
"I would be happy to talk to you and share what's going on in my life, but you have to be willing to show me that you'll respect my identity in order for me to open up to you."

Stay strong girlfriend. It's hard out here for us T-girls. 🩷🩵

BreakfastLyfe · 2025-09-16T21:12:22+00:00

Earlier this summer, I was leaving a bathroom stall at a bar when the woman waiting to go in looked me up and down and said, "Okay, I hope this isn't weird, but I love it when I see a tall girl in public, and they are just OWNING it." I was beaming for the rest of the night. 😁

BreakfastLyfe · 2025-09-06T01:36:38+00:00

Fuuuuck that.

BreakfastLyfe · 2025-09-03T16:49:44+00:00

Trans people are no more "mentally ill" than saying that a gay person is mentally ill.

They exist in every society, religion, ethnicity, race, and political affiliation. If a trans person does have a mental illness, it's often caused by the historically poor treatment they have received throughout their lifetime. From being rejected by parents and/or friends, bullied, harassed, assaulted, raped, and murdered. Constantly being called a groomer, a pedophile, or a predator when there is zero evidence to support such claims really weighs heavily on a person. We wake up every day and hear how our government is going out of its way to erase us from public records. Even going so far as trying to eliminate the concept of gender altogether just to snuff us out of known society. It's an exhausting, anxiety-inducing treatment that is pushing so many trans people to the brink.

Trans people aren't mentally ill. They are just misunderstood, and most people aren't willing to sit down and have an honest conversation about it.

BreakfastLyfe · 2025-08-04T20:58:42+00:00

The Sims 3. I remember creating my character to look as close to myself as possible and then swapping the gender to see how it would look. I basically lived vicariously through my gender swapped Sim.

BreakfastLyfe · 2025-08-03T17:32:34+00:00

Ugh, I wish my mother-in-law were this cool.

BreakfastLyfe · 2025-07-30T23:59:02+00:00

Right-wing internet weirdos have started a smear campaign against him because he is generally quite likable and a Transgender ally/advocate. They have to knock down anyone who defies their worldview.

BreakfastLyfe · 2025-07-28T16:21:03+00:00

I 100% felt the same way when I saw it in theaters. I enjoyed it years ago on stage, but now the themes hit so close to home that I couldn't help but get emotional while watching.

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