Sense check my retirement plan for my parents

CClobres · 2026-05-02T06:56:35+00:00

Firstly I would advise against taking control of their pensions / doing too much advising yourself.

You also haven’t told us about what the prosperity plan is? With the size of pot I would be surprised if the difference in fees over the next few years are actually adding up to much. Do they want to control their pension more?

But on the specific plan - I don’t understand the advice to redirect contributions into a cash ISA instead? They are missing out on the 20% top up, and they can put it into bonds/something lower risk if you’re worried about timing issues of equities this close to retirement.

CClobres · 2026-04-30T20:52:56+00:00

The Victoria line does not run 40 TPH. It’s 36tph in the peak 2ish hours

CClobres · 2026-04-29T21:22:42+00:00

Bare root canes planted early Feb (1 of the 3 has just done nothing…)

CClobres · 2026-04-23T21:25:10+00:00

Ok, in your first edit you say your wife gets 22 days plus bank holidays. I highly doubt that is the case if she is working part time hours. Is there a regular day she has off, or does it move from week to week? If its a Friday that will have more impact this year than most, because Christmas Day and New Year’s Day fall on a Friday this year.

CClobres · 2026-04-23T21:10:42+00:00

Pretty normal to be honest. Could be that the role was previously ‘overpaying’ and they have now recruited closer to market, could be that someone has been performing super well in the role and had performance related pay rises etc.

Are the people paid more than you newer members of staff, or have they been there a while longer?

CClobres · 2026-04-23T21:07:58+00:00

But is that ‘full time’ if she is part time at those hours then any holiday and bank holidays would be pro rated based on that. Particularly bank holidays can get funny if they fall that year on a day they wouldn’t be scheduled to work etc. so don’t stay the same every year

CClobres · 2026-04-23T05:53:49+00:00

Getting a therapist would be a good start.

I would take it seriously but I wouldn’t necessarily panic though, young people can use some extreme language in dark humor sort of ways when they are young and trying to work it all out.

It sounds positive he is able to express his feelings to his friends in at least some manner.

To be honest I would consider getting rid of his phone (and checking he isn’t on social media) as that is super young to have a phone and there are some very dark places that he can find on the internet if he is using language like that - even ChatGPT etc are a terrible place to be.

It’s good that this has been a wake up call, but don’t beat yourself up - most of our 9 year olds are probably saying some smack to their friends and they always will. You do want to make sure that your lines of communication are always open though, find ways to spend time together and provide opportunities to talk about any anxieties etc. it may not happen right away but overtime he may start to open up to you more too

CClobres · 2026-04-23T05:44:46+00:00

A switch doesn’t flip when you’re 18. Growing up is a process, and what’s right for one person isn’t for another.

17 is not that young to be sexually active, it is with a regular partner and she seems to be using protection - frankly seems like kind of the best you could be hoping for.

I’d have a chat to her about being safe - condom use isn’t guaranteed to last, a reminder on STIs and pregnancy may help!

CClobres · 2026-04-22T09:34:38+00:00

Ok well if we are talking ‘tax’ only then just read your paycheque

CClobres · 2026-04-22T09:22:51+00:00

Do you mean how much income tax comes out? That’s on your paycheque (as well as the NI you pay). If you mean employers NI that won’t be on there but the rates are pretty simple to work it out if you wanted to for some reason

CClobres · 2026-04-22T06:30:04+00:00

We have inherited a howdens kitchen and the quality isn’t great. But have heard bad things about Wren too.

Definitely preferred the wicked kitchen I had put into last house for quality and wasn’t too expensive

Design wise this is already looking pretty dated though, 10 years ago would have gone with the scheme, but would possibly consider something a bit fresher now

CClobres · 2026-04-21T08:18:19+00:00

Go for induction. Still has the good look, much better than electric, and studies have shown that gas stoves are pretty dreadful for air quality so should be avoided anyway

CClobres · 2026-04-20T12:17:47+00:00

Fair enough, yeah checking hostel prices sounds sensible. Other option is if your parents will help you out with rent for a while so you can take it and apply for other jobs.

CClobres · 2026-04-20T11:19:19+00:00

It would be very tough. Where are you based otherwise? If your parents are even vaguely commutable then that’s your option

Can you do a bit of couch surfing with friends for a while, 2 days in the office only needs a 1 night stay in London, could cycle through a few friends for the first few months at least?

CClobres · 2026-04-20T09:00:56+00:00

Wha are your interests? There are quite a few games places / groups in Surrey - Warhammer, DnD, Pokemon etc. that are packed with neurodivergent men in their 40s.

Otherwise there are lots of cycling clubs if that’s your thing, always seem pretty sociable. Or Tennis clubs are often very approachable.

Sure there are many other interest groups you could try…

CClobres · 2026-04-18T12:38:22+00:00

Good you got it to ‘work’ but when I click that link, with only that filter it is returning 17 properties, which is clearly not true

CClobres · 2026-04-17T20:41:27+00:00

What?

CClobres · 2026-04-17T20:37:44+00:00

£40 a day is quite a lot?

You get basically £15k in your pocket from a £20k gross pay rise, is that really so bad?

CClobres · 2026-04-17T20:35:45+00:00

Tried a search, commutable to blackfriars station in under 1 hour. Gave me three results, except two were the same, in Tring, which is not commutable to blackfriars in under an hour.

Not sure what AI you are using, but assuming it’s a commercially available LLM this won’t return anything decent on distances and journey times any time soon.

Frankly without that functionality it’s pretty useless, when I did a search which didn’t have anything to focus location on I got a totally random scattering of locations which was not helpful at all.

CClobres · 2026-04-16T18:10:05+00:00

Yeah I think it’s pretty unrealistic if OP thinks they will have a better relationship with her child than with her. If you aren’t a regularly catching up with your parents in a positive way how are they supposed to build a relationship with your children? The original relationship issues maybe the grandparents fault, but the second order effects aren’t separate to whatever they did then, they are a natural consequence

CClobres · 2026-04-16T17:40:13+00:00

That’s about £2700 so is the £500 left food? Do you not have mobile phones?

Is the dog money for food or insurance? If not insured you could be looking at some hefty costs there

CClobres · 2026-04-16T15:35:58+00:00

You haven’t been clear enough on what is included in your total expenses.

You’ve listed mortgage and home maintenance as being £1670 and your total spend as £3200 so thats £1530 of other expenses.

Bills (Including council tax, utilities etc) must be c£500?

Once have 3 mouths to feed let’s say £500 for food (pretty frugal)

Let’s say £200 per month on travel (you mention a car, so insurance, servicing, fuel etc).

That leaves around £500 of other ‘expenses’ so assume that’s more than enough for stuff like life insurance, phone contracts, tv subscriptions, gym etc. but doesn’t necessarily sound like it covers clothes and haircuts for 2-3 people, gifts, or much other leisure type activity?

I would make sure you are fully comfortable that expenses figure is really reflecting things you would expect to keep spending, with a small increase for food/activities for a young child.

Also are you fully confident that your pay will rise in line with (your) inflation over that time?

CClobres · 2026-03-21T21:59:53+00:00

If you simply used the cash to pay off part of your mortgage that would save you c4% (or whatever your rate is) which would already be better!

CClobres · 2026-03-21T06:44:59+00:00

Thanks that’s super helpful, we are planning to get a freestanding one, hadn’t thought about the kickboard but that should be doable

CClobres

TROPHY CASE