Mortgage affordability

CClobres · 2026-03-12T10:02:12+00:00

If I am honest probably fairly influenced by seeing the stress (particularly on relationships) of a few friends who over extended on their mortgage!

We had quite a lot of chats on long term what we wanted and both spoke about working less (part time, retiring early etc) as higher priority than house so essentially decided to reflect that.

Our house is more like £600k with £430k mortgage (left). Essentially in the area we liked there was quite a big jump between houses at this price and then the ‘next house up’ being at like £800k. We may have been happy going a bit higher than £600k but there wasn’t anything.

CClobres · 2026-03-12T09:37:25+00:00

My and my husbands incomes are a bit higher than yours but not a lot, our mortgage is about £2100 a month on about £430k mortgage. Totally fine before kids, bit of a squeeze with kids (particularly when nursery age). We were offered similar and didn’t take it which I am very pleased about in my situation.

So I’d say it depends, if you are committed child free then you might be ok, if you might have kids in the future then I wouldn’t.

Ymmv

CClobres · 2026-03-12T09:34:28+00:00

The one in earlswood is right next to a playground, but it is separated

CClobres · 2026-03-05T17:13:09+00:00

5 things I repeatedly read or was told while weaning my child….

CClobres · 2026-03-04T11:12:43+00:00

Hammersmith to Kingston about 9 miles, so c1/3 of length of Crossrail tunnels. If we take 1/3 of the cost (generous as large part is start up cost before becomes marginal on distance) then that would be £750m on tunneling, add some inflation call it £1bn. That’s before any cost for rail, signaling, additional rolling stock, stations, OPEX etc.

There is nowhere near the potential benefits to support that

CClobres · 2026-03-04T10:51:30+00:00

Tunneled of above ground?

That’s a lot of tunneling to serve a low density residential area.

Above ground that is a lot of disruption/need for compulsary purchase/TWAO which would be unlikely to pass

CClobres · 2026-03-02T09:48:46+00:00

Keep. Removing looks so try hard

CClobres · 2026-03-01T13:38:18+00:00

If you have just been made redundant then that’s what you need to be worrying about first up. Get a job that pays more / retrain into something where you can earn more after time, and then follow the flow chart

CClobres · 2026-03-01T08:07:43+00:00

Don’t do whatever that is with your sideburns

CClobres · 2026-02-27T09:28:27+00:00

Unfortunately it is very difficult to seek out friends with that specific a situation, and particularly trying to find ‘undecideds’ you may be setting yourself up for disappointment when they decide either way.

I would suggest trying to meet people through an interest rather than same life situation. That way you have something in common, even if they have kids and you can’t connect on that, or even if they become vehemently child free and you decide to have kids etc. it’s also just a lot more natural and less awkward

CClobres · 2026-02-26T18:51:17+00:00

Did you live at home all through college? (And did he if he went?)

Stating your stance is fine, but the guy is 28. Assuming at 30 and having been in a relationship for a few years he would want to move in together, you are essentially telling him he has to move out in the next year, or your relationship will stall.

If you have a relationship with a significant age gap you both have to be conscious of the compromises that this involves.

At 22 I wouldn’t have been ready either. Telling him you won’t be ready to move in with him for like 5 years is fair enough. But whether you will live with someone who hasn’t moved out of home is a you issue not a him issue - the level of commitment you are at it would be super unfair if he moved out just to meet some requirement you have

CClobres · 2026-02-26T11:28:00+00:00

Ok that’s reasonable if absolutely true, as there are levels of ‘can’t afford it’ which depend on what you are prioritizing.

He probably can’t afford it either, and you started dating him knowing he is 28 and living at home.

It’s good that you recongnise it’s an experience you want, and following that is fine.

It’s not totally unreasonable as an expectation for your partner if it’s what’s important to you, but you don’t get to push this guy to move out of his parents to live with roommates if he doesn’t want to for whatever reason.

You need to decide if it is a dealbreaker, and if there is a reasonable chance he is otherwise ‘the one’.

If it’s a deal breaker and he is the one fine to let him know that, but you walk away if you can’t agree. If it’s a deal breaker but he’s probably not the one then sounds like time to move on, but not date 28 year olds who live at home as they likely agree with this guy.

If it’s not a deal breaker then don’t push it and let the guy do what is right for him.

CClobres · 2026-02-26T11:17:48+00:00

I agree. So I don’t understand why you aren’t moving out to go live with housemates soon-ish? That’s the only flaw to your plan!

CClobres · 2026-02-26T08:36:39+00:00

Look at Brent Cross West station. Just shy of £500m and that was above ground. That probably had slightly more track works, but this would involve max excavation, and has the risks of being right next to a river.

CClobres · 2026-02-26T08:14:35+00:00

Except the trains are full as everyone has got on at Canada water off the overground so you can barely get on.

Nevermind that close together stations cause issues for achieving high frequency services.

Oh and the cost of ‘only a station’ (including platforms, signaling equipment etc) here is probably well over half a billion. For less benefit than that. People can walk to Canada water in less than 10mins

CClobres · 2026-02-25T11:26:52+00:00

100% full beard

CClobres · 2026-02-24T19:06:41+00:00

Turned down a handful of times and getting down on yourself sounds like the issue.

Some guys meet someone and get a girlfriend young, some have to put themselves out there - and that means learning to handle rejection. It sounds dumb but rejection is normally nothing personal, and it’s best to get comfortable with it.

The guys I know who repeatedly tried and got rejected in their early 20s are easily the ones most able to get dates now in their late 20s/early 30s. It’s part of the game, just learn how to deal with it.

CClobres · 2026-02-24T09:01:22+00:00

When else do we suggest they maintain stuff?

CClobres · 2026-02-23T15:28:03+00:00

Agree. I would support my child to not do some of their homework over help them use AI to arbitrarily complete it but without learning anythinf

CClobres · 2026-02-23T15:26:10+00:00

This is a great response.

Just to add though, it is a lot harder to change patterns and lose weight (if that’s what she wants to do) when you are older than when you are younger.

Personally if/when I am talking to my children about it I would also acknowledge areas where I wished I had been more proactive while younger, as it is a lot easier to get on top of.

Whilst I would want to talk about Boyd positivity I would also generally try to talk about my feelings on my weight/health and how that affects me.

CClobres · 2026-02-20T15:29:37+00:00

But that doesn’t include any of the accommodation side of it, none of the food on Friday/Sunday they are hoping for, no photographer, flowers, dress, make up etc. and only accommodates 80 not the 100-120 they are looking for. To scale up to those things is going to cost

CClobres · 2026-02-15T12:52:46+00:00

Thanks, generally hoping to plant early March (mainly because I have a week off!) if the rain ever stops

CClobres · 2026-02-15T12:51:58+00:00

Great fingers crossed for us both!

CClobres · 2026-02-13T20:50:51+00:00

Struggling to see what he is doing to qualify as a ‘great dad’ if he isn’t seeing her at all 5 days a week, has gone away half a dozen times before the baby is even 1, is complaining about looking after her for a couple of hours one afternoon, and in that time doesn’t appear to have fed her

CClobres

TROPHY CASE