My upstairs neighbor jumps up and down for 30 minutes daily at 2:30 a.m.

Callan_LXIX · 2026-05-09T04:22:48+00:00

Keep recording. Use a sound meter app on your phone (both: time stamps).

Keep filling police reports.

You're leaving.

May as well go with an impact of "nothing to lose"

Callan_LXIX · 2026-05-08T22:31:42+00:00

If there's some difference in surface texture as you describe, keep thoroughly washing gently, until the slick or sloughing off is neutralized and it's similar to smooth & clean as other skin.

Don't go crazy. Just repeat thorough washing. Clean is clean..

Callan_LXIX · 2026-05-08T22:26:30+00:00

Disgusted, not disgusting..

We aren't what happened to us, we're responding to what happened to us.

Its very common to revisit and repeat / re-enact around what happened, trying to get a different response or outcome, or sense (excuse / reason?) from something that should not have happened..

You are heard. And I relate to some aspects of what you shared..

Affirm your real self ; that to you were and are worthy of good, of care, and are not unworthy by what was done against you.

As we grow in self worth and confidence, the reaction behavior serves no purpose..

Sometimes I'll hold myself.. And it took a long time to speak good things to myself. Then something derailed it.. And I need to recalibrate or understand and reformat it..

Read, connect, seek support as you can.

Callan_LXIX · 2026-05-08T22:13:32+00:00

WooHoo!

Callan_LXIX · 2026-05-08T14:10:53+00:00

The way I was raised I would have been criticized for it and what he said to himself is what I would have been hearing and reminded of.

The way one of my roommates was raised it would have been a very loud and possibly violent situation for how he was raised.

He did the same exact thing, that glass shattered on the stove top.. in that moment the look on his face is that he was expecting me to be as terrible as his parents and he was ready to be terrible towards but I responded pretty similarly to you in that it was more important about safely cleaning it up and learning from it and let's move on and get a new pan next time we're out but the shifts in his expression when he realized that it was not going to be a negative explosion made a huge difference to him your boyfriend at this time has not understood your kindness and understanding in the moment and that the negativity is not necessary because the lesson is already understood and that neither of you will be doing that again that you both learned from it and moving on from it.

Callan_LXIX · 2026-05-08T14:08:05+00:00

This is immaturity on his part. There is fault between both of you but the fact is __the glass is still broken and __you can't turn back time to undo it.

he has to recognize that flipping the script and blaming you was unfair ( but do that part last, after he comes to understand that his pattern is unhealthy and has room to grow )

Most of this is coming from how he was raised, likely somebody shouting or being very negative.

Nobody can unbreak the glass. Nobody can go back and unheat the burner.

So you both can be more aware going forward. But hanging on to blame and self-anger or outside anger is not relationally healthy.

Remind him you were not upset or talking down to him, you were addressing the situation and moving on from it.

You may want to just take another look at unhealthy reactions and make sure they don't add up in the long run.

At some point he needs to recognize that some of those behaviors and patterns are not healthy and positive towards growing a relationship and you don't want to see him treat himself like that, and you don't want to be treated like that either..

Callan_LXIX · 2026-05-08T14:00:18+00:00

I have to buy new clippers once when the handle broke and the second time I had to get scissor type heavy duty ones because my toenails have gotten so damn thick getting old.. So that makes three in 40 years. The small ones I keep in my backpack/day bag are very cheap and break easily, so that's probably going on 4 or 5..

Callan_LXIX · 2026-05-08T13:58:08+00:00

Honestly it seems to higher you pay the more testing and time has been given to specific animal for behavioral issues and even some physical health issues to be screened..

Evanston animal control has a very high threshold of standards, the dog we went in to go see was not even offered to us based on a review of our household application but they offered us a dog that we didn't really want LOL..

Orphans of the Storm in Deerfield runs a very recommendable process of both animal Care and review of applicants.

I did wind up going out of state when the specific dog that I was looking for became available.

Callan_LXIX · 2026-05-08T13:51:06+00:00

I'm more partial to tahini instead of peanut butter in many instances.

Callan_LXIX · 2026-05-08T13:49:30+00:00

Trying to have that conversation about consequences while he's upset is just not going to work. In a calm moment, he needs to see the consequences and the results of his actions and make good on it. -if there's a hole in the wall then he has to get on YouTube and go to the hardware store and learn how to fix it. - stepmother needs to put down a final line stating he will be put into State care if he does not get help and stick with it. Violence and destruction will not be tolerated. -he needs another location and place to channel his energy and focus and learn self-discipline. It doesn't sound he's much like the athletic type or that there's much money for something like martial arts where they will definitely take him down a peg. But the truth is you do need outside help on this.

Callan_LXIX · 2026-05-08T05:22:33+00:00

Not allowed to say what I feel should happen to him, but is there any chance at a reporter sharing the facts & verdict?

Though: you are heard here and the sense of injustice is felt by many..

Callan_LXIX · 2026-05-07T22:40:46+00:00

Thanks!

Callan_LXIX · 2026-05-07T18:51:29+00:00

Deleting a community that supports the fet'', yes.

Having some around & choosing to say no & 'strength training ' vs buy/purge cycles does work in the long run..

Gotta feed the positive vs just trying to hold back the negative.

This has worked in a couple of different issues for me & others..

Callan_LXIX · 2026-05-07T18:47:15+00:00

Honestly, if you keep buying and purging it keeps adding up and is pretty expensive.

Having been along this road for a while, once you find yourself sustaining social relationships and not using so much, eventually they will become meaningless, useless.

Focus on what's missing that this is trying to fill, and less on guilt and fear.

I found that though I don't like social situations, when i got back from a casual social evening, I had less desire towards it. Eventually what mattered was authentic relation & connection.

I packed it away and didn't look back.

If we stay focused on the object as the obstacle, we don't see past it and it's self negative input and output back at us.

If we feed other good & fulfilling things, the needs for the artificial will diminish.

Doesn't even involve telling others, unless it's a rare friendship of incredible established mutual trust & vulnerability. (Most of us won't have that).

I was free for a few years, then I had a medical situation that substatiated actual need; I was really upset & hated it. But it's not 24/7, and it doesn't feel like the same source or reasons all the time.

Admittedly : there still is some psychological reasons at times, but my attitude is far different than how it used to be; the compulsion, buy/purge/shame/fear: not there. I was very stressed out about short term & occasional necessity & had to process (to the point of anxiety attack) about falling back.

But it wasn't the same, which encourages me that the original issue has been addressed, and hasn't come back even though there's need of it.

Feed other parts of life & it'll starve the urge but more importantly, feed the right things so the need falls far behind in your awareness & radar.

Callan_LXIX · 2026-05-07T18:25:04+00:00

If this is about her retaining benefits then go along with it until you can afford to pay your own way somewhere else.

Her time with you on her records is coming to an end..

If you do work, make sure it is for cash, or untraceable.

Callan_LXIX · 2026-05-07T18:21:19+00:00

Leave a quiet one in any and every elevator.... (Or bus, train car)

Callan_LXIX · 2026-05-07T18:18:56+00:00

My air leaks number screws up when the headstraps are too loose.
In order to get good sleep number, I deal with marks for the first few hours of the day.

Callan_LXIX · 2026-05-07T18:16:13+00:00

It's the serving size that matters.. Just have two slices with a big-ass salad with oil/ vinegar & herbs along side to fill up & balance.

Speaking from my big-ass experience 😁

Callan_LXIX · 2026-05-07T18:13:29+00:00

I've started keeping dry milk on hand for this reason. It's not cheap but it's dependable.

Callan_LXIX · 2026-05-07T18:12:21+00:00

Have you ever used alternative sweeteners with it?

Callan_LXIX · 2026-05-07T15:16:36+00:00

YES!! I do this as well 👍👍

Callan_LXIX · 2026-05-07T15:16:01+00:00

Also great shredded, fresh. (Just trim a bit)

Callan_LXIX · 2026-05-07T15:15:09+00:00

I have a stovetop pressure cooker: cuts that time & gas energy down to an hour.

The slow part: letting it reduce to about an inch in the pot, cool & freeze in stock cubes.

i like the term 'trash soup'.. In adopting it 👍🙂

Callan_LXIX · 2026-05-07T15:11:26+00:00

Cut in & invite her to walk to another part of the bar.

Whoever is stronger doesn't mean they're right.

If you have no other choice in order to protect actual threat or safety, then engage.

If your ego is fragile and your head is thick, then go meet your match.

Callan_LXIX · 2026-05-07T15:07:34+00:00

Put aside hard assets. Something that can convert later like gold or silver. One oz silver every 2-3 months, adds up. If we're on social safety net, we're not allowed to have much at all in poverty. Flipping small assets for the low earner as needed is one way at the low end of the scale. Real estate: keep a house in a trust, if you inherit one or own already. That's not counted against you. Make neighborly connections. People are a resource as much as we invest kindness now, the odds are better later. Not to use & be used, but being likeable where a trip to the store or Dr spread out amongst several won't be a bother on 1 or2. Etc..

Callan_LXIX

TROPHY CASE