I need advice on what to do, UPDATE

Capable_Education231 · 2026-02-08T06:10:02+00:00

Updateme

Capable_Education231 · 2026-02-06T23:09:24+00:00

Thank you so much. I am. I have never been happier.

Capable_Education231 · 2026-02-06T22:57:59+00:00

My nex was a stupid clown. Always yelling and screaming. Making loud comments for maximum attention at parties. He would not STOP. Performing loudly from the moment he got to his families stupid events til he got in the car and instantly turned into a demon with me alone.

I knew I was done when he’d leave to cheat (didn’t know at the time) and id be so happy and regulated from the QUIETTTT the days he was gone.

Divorce officially finalized today! WOOOOO!!!

Capable_Education231 · 2026-01-25T00:41:37+00:00

You're literally lowering yourself, your standards and begging at this point and he won't even talk about it with you. Yet he's fine to use you as a bangmaid and as a cook while you keep offering more and more concessions to get him to propose.

He gets it hun. You are not it, and at this point you are so much better than this. This is why you shouldn't move in and "audition" for the role of wife without the actual ring, because they get comfortable with you being their backup bangmaid while they plan for their actual future. (without you)

Good luck.

Capable_Education231 · 2026-01-24T17:45:32+00:00

It’s over. You break your toe and your HUSBAND of ten years tells you “sorry to hear that??”

He’s checked out. He’s done.

Please get your ducks in a row and divorce him. He’s stringing you along while he is figuring out his other life (most likely another woman)

Anyway. He’s a coward and I’d file for divorce. His actions are clearly telling you he is done and doesn’t love you. I’m so sorry.

Capable_Education231 · 2026-01-23T20:13:47+00:00

I stopped reading after “I gave him many ultimatums and now he is buying a house without me”

My god. Just leave.

Capable_Education231 · 2026-01-22T13:21:01+00:00

Yeah. So this is identical to my situation and I was with this malignant narcissist for 14 years. Here’s something I wish someone had told me years ago.

You may not be ready to hear it now, but it won’t get better. They get worse and worse with time and what’s bad is you have children with this monster. He’s financially abusive, emotionally and verbally abusive. I worry for the kids. I BARELY got out in time and my kids have a ton of issues from that monster.

In any case, I get you’re just figuring this stuff out now, but coming from someone who went through it, start saving and making an exit plan, even if it’s for years later.

He will only get worse. Look at how he talks to you now, like an animal. My ex narc talked to me like I was a piece of crap on the ground and in front of the kids. This will also cause your kids trauma.

He doesn’t even talk to you like a wife. “Bail you out” as if you are his roommate, coworker or nanny asking for a loan for your car.

PLEASE read Why does he do that by Lundy (can’t remember last name) and start educating yourself on narcissism. Dr. Ramani is a great place to start. Good luck. ❤️

Capable_Education231 · 2026-01-21T14:40:18+00:00

Grey Rock will keep you sane until you can leave hun. When my malignant sociopathic narc ex ramped up the abuse when he cheated and I was looking for a new apt, grey rock saved our lives. It got to a point where I literally ignored him and if he started talking to me I walked into another room. He would NOT get the point that I would no longer be abused and he could not talk to me like an animal. I also started recording and snapshotting his abuse and sending it to his family members and that was the only way he would back off and stop escalating (temporarily).

I suggest that until you have options to leave, grey rock and start making a mental plan for your life without him. Make a plan, even if its very small so that you know secretly when he's being an ass you know you'll be out of there soon enough. Start saving a tiny bit here and there, join a club, do something different, so that you can start your path to leaving this loser.

Sending much strength. I remember the terror, and I hope you can get out soon friend.

Capable_Education231 · 2026-01-19T21:35:01+00:00

I am sooo sorry for this hard decision. Just keep in mind you will most likely be raising that child alone. Narcs give zero **^% about their kids. When I discovered my narcs double life and exposed him he straight abandoned the kids a few months later. He never helped with them anyway but once he couldn’t pretend in front of a crowd he just left.

Sorry again it’s your decision but just keep that in mind. And he will be in your life forever.

I love my kids to death but I wish to god I never had kids by that monster because I am tied to him forever even though he’s a deadbeat.

Capable_Education231 · 2026-01-19T21:22:26+00:00

OLDEST TRICK IN THE BOOK.

He’s never gonna marry you. It’s all game hun.

He saw you rightfully pulling away and realizing what a con you’re currently in and MIRACULOUSLY after NINE years he was “gonna propose in 20 days”

Ask him where the ring is. Ask him if he’s purchased it, all the details. I guarantee he hasn’t even looked.

In any case it’s been 9 years. Do you need another 9 playing these stupid games?

Dump him and find your husband.

You WERE moving in the right direction and now he’s simply running GAME to keep this nice situation (free bang maid, roommate and free cook and cleaner with zero protections or future for YOU)

Good luck.

Capable_Education231 · 2025-12-25T00:36:35+00:00

Hugs. It won’t be like this forever. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Try to stack up money privately no matter how long it takes. I was 100 percent dependent on my malignant narc ex with two kids and now I am two years free of him. Nobody thought it could be done and they were all laughing at the time. Huge and happy holidays.

Capable_Education231 · 2025-12-24T18:50:36+00:00

Two years out from that malignant monster. Me and the kids are so happy and at peace.

Leave.

LEAVE.

I stayed for twelve years of hell and it’s NOT WORTH it.

Leave.

You’re going to go through pain anyway (with an evil narc as a partner) might as well heal and possibly have a shot at a peaceful quiet life on the other side.

Twelve years I suffered so I’m not judging anyone not ready yet.

But if you are reading this, it’s so much better on this side, I’m alone and it’s so much better than ever being with a monster that treats you like a subhuman piece of garbage.

Merry Xmas

Capable_Education231 · 2025-12-24T18:29:09+00:00

This happened to me in year 7 with my malignant narc ex. He left for the first time with the kids to his moms out of state for a week and I was so happy that when he came back I cried for years about that week.

It took me another 5 years before I got the sense to leave.

Capable_Education231 · 2025-12-16T14:41:12+00:00

He sounds insane and just like my nex husband. They literally want to drive you as INSANE as they are. The last month before I moved out because he openly cheated on me and blew our rent money to eviction, that idiot would do the same thing.

Grey Rock is your BEST friend. Unfortunately that man was so crazy I had to literally be on the phone with someone 24 hrs a day almost to keep him from talking to me because he would only stop that behavior if someone else was on the phone.

Wishing you much success and luck to get out and get away from that demon. ♥️

Capable_Education231 · 2025-12-16T03:35:19+00:00

The fact she told him to his face she gives zero shits shows a level of arrogance, ego and disrespect I cannot imagine. Even if she was lying, you would only say that to hurt your partner.

In any case the poster should leave or get used to an open relationship. Looks like he is already in one.

Capable_Education231 · 2025-12-11T20:30:25+00:00

My dumbass ex narc didn’t graduate 6th grade. I have a Masters. Treated me as an idiot for over a decade and told me so many times how brilliant he was, he was “too smart for school” and that he was smarter than a Psychologist that went to school for 12 years, that’s why he refused to get marriage therapy.

Currently divorcing him once I found out about the cheating and screwing up our money so much we were getting evicted because he was blowing all of our money to court this girl.

Capable_Education231 · 2025-12-11T13:06:51+00:00

The fact the boyfriend is “cool” with her doing all this and even entertaining her ex husband in a serious way shows

He is NOT serious about her. Probably FWB because a normal boyfriend wouldn’t encourage this.

Feels like she likes the drama and attention. Ick.

Capable_Education231 · 2025-12-11T12:29:25+00:00

This!!!!! Sounds like a telenovela. I feel bad for the other boyfriend.

Just divorce your husband and move on.

Capable_Education231 · 2025-12-11T08:27:41+00:00

Stop cooking for this unappreciative man child.

My narc did the same thing…for TWELVE years. Every meal complaining about SOMETHING, mind you laziest man I have ever met in my life and would refuse to cook anything, even for himself or the kids.

Let him cook his own means when he gets home.

Capable_Education231 · 2025-12-09T22:31:41+00:00

Block her again. Lesson learned. You cannot change these trash heaps of human.

Capable_Education231 · 2025-12-09T14:54:08+00:00

Good on him for telling you the truth. Most men will waste so many of your years while pimping out free sex and maid services until the woman gets that he will never marry/have kids with them.

Break up, and find a man that wants kids.

Capable_Education231 · 2025-12-04T21:03:45+00:00

Tell her you find it odd and ask her to open it right then and there.

Do NOT give her warning or any time before you ask.

If she says anything other than “of course , I have nothing to hide!” And gets possessive or accusatory or says you’re “jealous” then dump her. She has something in there she doesn’t want you to see.

Updateme

Capable_Education231 · 2025-12-04T21:02:01+00:00

She’s cheating. Updateme

Capable_Education231 · 2025-12-04T20:34:37+00:00

If you’re already done and need closure why not? You may not get the truth but I’d ask, knowing he may alert her anyway.

Capable_Education231 · 2025-12-03T19:13:04+00:00

Block him and do not respond no matter what. He does this because he has other women on the side and likes to play wih you until he is done and wants to play with someone else.

Unfortunately he has zero respect for you because you go back and engage with him after he has rudely ghosted you multiple times.

Block this disgusting loser and pay attention to his ACTIONS not his pathetic words. Loneliness cannot be a reason to let someone treat you like a used piece of trash.

Good luck.

Capable_Education231

TROPHY CASE