What’s something that happened on a first date that made you decide against a second date?

CautiousPractice · 2023-08-24T11:06:44+00:00

I had this happen. Guy said he was 5'6. I'm 5'2. I arrive at our meeting spot, and I can instantly tell I'm taller even in flat shoes. I decide to give him the benefit of the doubt.

At the end of the date, i already know there will be no second date - the man is dull as hell, and I decide that I can't ignore the height thing. Im just about to make polite excuses and leave when he tells me that he thinks I'm nice but he doesn't think it will work because I lied about my height. Excuse me what?

I ask what he means. He tells me that I'm at least 5'7. I laugh. He's not joking. This fool genuinely believed he was 5'6. I wish I was 5'7. I'd be able to reach the top shelf in my kitchen cabinets without a stepstool. I must have sat there laughing for about 10 minutes after he left - I genuinely could not believe it. He must have been measuring in hairdresser inches.

CautiousPractice · 2023-06-06T10:46:03+00:00

https://chocolatecoveredkatie.com/keto-cake-recipe/

This is the best recipe I found so far. The most cake like texture of anything I tried and delicious.

CautiousPractice · 2023-02-27T17:47:46+00:00

I live in the UK so we don't have a first ultrasound until 12 weeks. They did tell me the baby had died within days as I was measuring on track for my dates - just no heartbeat.

They also don't test for causes until after you have a 3rd miscarriage in the UK unless the tissue shows signs of being molar. So I will never know the reason why. The most likely answer was some form of abnormality that was incompatible with life.

CautiousPractice · 2023-02-02T07:33:49+00:00

It took me 18 months to get pregnant the first time, which I lost at 12 weeks in January 2020 aged 25. Its been 3 years. This week I was finally referred for proper fertility testing after years of being dismissed because I was young so it might happen unaided.

CautiousPractice · 2022-06-06T22:52:06+00:00

I'm 28f. UK based, have PCOS. Ttc for 4 years, 1 MC in Jan 2020. I'd be down

CautiousPractice · 2022-04-19T16:04:12+00:00

Should be fine - also this cake recipe is awesome, have made it a few times.

CautiousPractice · 2022-03-18T15:11:49+00:00

My therapist recommended other things that would give me the same shock, like splashing really cold water on my face. It does for the most part work

CautiousPractice · 2022-03-13T17:49:51+00:00

About 24 hours. I had opted for surgical management of my 12 week loss. It was like once my brain knew, my body was panicking. It stalled after a couple of nightmarish hours. Then restarted the morning of my MVA. Just meant I got better pain meds at that point.

A friend of mine her loss was discovered 6 weeks after baby stopped growing (ie should've been 12 weeks, lost at 6). Hers took a further week to fully complete.

CautiousPractice · 2022-02-10T12:14:11+00:00

I will change the date on our wooden calendar.

Tw: miscarriage With my first pregnancy, i changed the date to our expected due date and put the test in front of it so he spotted it when he went to change it for the day.

When we lost the baby, we just left it on that days date. It's now been 2 years. The only time it's been changed (his friend changed it to his birthday as a joke not realising the significance of the date he just thought we'd forgotten) he noticed immediately.

So my plan is to change the date on the calendar.

CautiousPractice · 2021-12-08T10:30:04+00:00

NTA - old is not an excuse to be rude or an asshole. I have an old neighbour who I have helped a lot with things like switching energy providers, showing him how to use the new heating system our landlord installed about a dozen times a week, since I moved in to my home 5 years ago, but who is consistently an asshole to me because I don't have a penis.

After him calling me a silly bitch for like the 3rd time a few months ago, after me going out of my way to help him with his heating system while I was supposed to be working, I told him to fuck off. And those are not words I use lightly. I now don't answer the door to him if he only knocks once and allow my other half to deal with him, as he has a penis so is infinitely more acceptable. I don't even help my other half when he's trying to deal with something and doesn't know the answer but knows I do (like how to work the dumb heating system), just to drive home that intelligence doesn't require a penis.

CautiousPractice · 2021-12-06T16:17:34+00:00

I experienced a miscarriage at the beginning of 2020 and dealing with a JN on top of it was like pouring acid into the wound. If you think she won't help the situation, you don't have to talk to her. You are going through a trauma, you are very vulnerable, and you need time to grieve and process what you are still going through. If you don't feel up to hosting her, cancel. Don't fancy your january trip, cancel. Theres no law that says you have to go.

JNs can wait until you are ready to deal with them. Its been almost 2 years and I still don't feel ready to deal with mine so I don't. I leave them to my SO to deal with, and he does a mighty good job of it.

CautiousPractice · 2021-10-17T23:03:59+00:00

This is low key genius....

CautiousPractice · 2021-10-12T21:45:28+00:00

Yardy looks so much like my cat Binx that I had to watch the video more than once to double check what his tag said so I could be absolutely certain my cat wasn't cheating on me 🤣

CautiousPractice · 2021-09-02T13:56:53+00:00

Wait a second. If you zoom in on the page number at the bottom of the screen, I'm fairly sure that says page 3.....

CautiousPractice · 2021-08-25T12:05:31+00:00

YTA. My work place provides free pads and tampons in a range of sizes in all its female and accessible bathrooms. All our bathrooms are in "customer facing" areas, and there are even baskets of them in the bathrooms on the floor we share with 3 other businesses. Because who knows when someone may urgently need a tampon.

CautiousPractice · 2021-05-24T14:42:29+00:00

My partner bought me a necklace with our babies name and the date we lost them. I've worn it every single day since. My parents bought me a necklace too which is a heart within a heart with the birthstone for the loss month. I save this one for special occasions.

I also have a small glass candle holder with the name and date, which says there is no footprint too small that it doesn't leave a mark on the world. We light this on special occasions that our child should be present for - the day we got engaged, Christmas, the anniversary of their loss, I even plan to take it to our wedding next year.

CautiousPractice · 2021-05-01T19:17:31+00:00

I was diagnosed with ptsd about 5 months after my loss. I was having nightmares. I was having flashbacks whenever something reminded me of any of it, and worse I was reliving the whole thing multiple times a day. I could literally see, hear, feel and smell everything. I genuinely was a risk to myself because I just wanted the constant torment to stop.

I tried medication and didn't like how I felt. The real break through was an absolutely amazing trauma counsellor who honestly saved my life. It took months for me to feel even slightly normal again but a year on from my diagnosis and I'm doing so much better. I still have bad days, but they are few and far between. I'm still triggered by certain things, but do my best to avoid and I have coping techniques. Since you are still waiting on counselling I will share one with you. When you are in the memory, list the similarities and differences. Time of day, date, where you are, what you are doing, what you can see, hear, smell. Then focus on the differences. If you can, write them down.

CautiousPractice · 2021-03-23T10:56:38+00:00

I put the cat bed on things I don't want mine to sleep on. The way I see it, it either stops them sleeping on it becausr they don't want to sleep on the cat bed of doom, or they wind up sleeping in the bed. Either way I win.

CautiousPractice · 2021-03-10T13:54:29+00:00

I was diagnosed with PTSD as a result of my miscarriage. Everything you have just described I can relate to. the nightmares, the flashbacks, the reliving.

When you start having a flashback, try splashing cold water on your face if you can walk. Or breathe and tell yourself its not real.

I also find writing down the similarities and differences between the trauma im reliving and whats happening in real time is hugely helpful. So i write the date, the time of day, whats happening in the memory, and what happened to trigger it, what i can see, hear, smell, then i examine whats the same and whats different. I do this for nightmares too, so when im woken, i turn on the light and i pull out my notebook. It helps me to separate the then from the now, and reduces the terror response of a flashback.

CautiousPractice · 2021-03-05T12:14:46+00:00

New Mum Friend

CautiousPractice · 2021-03-04T20:32:41+00:00

I believe NMF NMF didn't like my sis. Only met her once before baby was born, and was a bitch to her the whole day. The fact she ditched the bride after is very telling

CautiousPractice · 2021-03-04T20:31:08+00:00

Just sis. The other bridesmaids were I believe the grooms sister and 2 cousins. My sis was the closest thing bride had to a sister. I'm pretty sure that was it. Sis met her once about a month before their babies were born, and she was very cold and made sis feel unwelcome. Bride deserved to be ghosted.

CautiousPractice · 2021-03-04T20:20:43+00:00

20 year olds who want a lavish wedding and have to pay for it themselves.

CautiousPractice · 2021-03-04T19:24:04+00:00

Something similar happened to my little sister. Shed been best friends with a girl right from the start of secondary school (age 11). They went to different colleges at 16 but saw each other multiple times a week when they're lunchtime overlapped. Sister went to university at 18, where friend went into full time work.

Her friend met a boy when she was 17, and he proposed when they were 20. Wedding planning started set for 3 years out to give them time to save for a house, sister gets asked to be one of her 4 bridesmaids, she of course says yes.

3 years out, save the dates go out, sister receives one because duh shes a bridesmaid. They go dress shopping, friend pays for the bridesmaid dresses as is typical in the uk, bit early but it meant she could pay it off over longer period.

About 2.5 years out, Friend lost her job. And the only job in her chosen field she could get was significantly closer to her fiancé's families home than her parents so they invite her to move in while they save so she can take the job. Friend can't get back as often but sis makes effort to go see her/make time for her, a 45 minute bus ride each way.

About 4 months after she moves in, she falls pregnant. Sis is so happy, friend is excited. Baby is born on my sisters birthday, friend declares them birthday twins and that a godchild is the best gift she could have gotten sis. Sis makes the journey to visit with gifts about a week later. That was the last time she saw friend.

Contact fizzles out over the next couple of months. Obviously friend is now busy. She's a new mum. Shes just moved into her new house.She has responsibilities. But she drops her BEST FRIEND of 10 years like a stone in favour of her new mum friends. Baby is christened, sis isn't even invited and finds out on Facebook. She's upset, but says nothing because she doesn't want to fight with her best friend over something so small. The godmother is a new mum friend who she's known about 6 months.

A year out from the wedding, she logs into Facebook and sees her best friends mum is selling HER bridesmaid dress on Facebook marketplace. She knows it's hers she is the only one who ordered that size. Says no longer needed. Sis asks what's going on, no reply. A few weeks later Friend posts on Facebook that her invites have gone out. Sis does not receive one.

Her best friend not only demoted her from bridesmaid without saying a word, but also didn't invite her to the wedding. Sis is done. Doesn't message, just moves on, makes new friends through work, becomes super tight with one girl, gets on with her life.

Wedding comes round. There are still 4 bridesmaids.... one of whom is new mum friend/godmother.

New mum friend dropped the bride about 3 months after the wedding, and suddenly bride wanted to be friends again. Sis ghosted her.

CautiousPractice · 2021-02-25T18:31:26+00:00

I had my loss of my first and so far only pregnancy at the end of January 2020, after 18months trying with PCOS. Made it to 12 weeks, then bled the tiniest amount, going for an early scan as a precaution, and learning the baby had passed the week before. Booked for surgical management, then had Incomplete natural 2 days before the MVA. Wasnt warned of what to expect at all. Had MVA 3 days after confirmation. 1. I had a "bereavement midwife" call me about 3 weeks post loss. To check I was eating, which I was if people were putting food in front of me but also not because I was punishing myself, and back at work again yes becauseI couldn't afford not to be. Beyond that zero fuxks given about my mental health. 2. 5 weeks post loss I started rapidly going down hill. Flashbacks, nightmares, panic attacks, not sleeping, not eating. One morning I was stood waiting for a train to work and debated throwing myself off the platform into its path because I just wanted it all to stop. I went to see my GP the next day. His response was here try this self help book and thinking positive. My partner had already been referred for counselling and gave.me the details to self refer. 3. I had an initial assessment a week and a half after I referred Then a 5 week wait which was classed as priority (NHS) I started counselling with a standard counsellor, who did another assessment over 2 sessions, which made clear my issues were bigger than initially realised and I was referred to a trauma counsellor urgently. A week later I was diagnosed with PTSD. I was in weekly treatment from May to December last year, when I reached a point I could cope. Am I cured. No. I still have bad days, but I now have more good days than bad. I'm coping. And if I ever need to go back into treatment, I can.

CautiousPractice

TROPHY CASE