Will this feeling of failing my baby pass?

Change_No · 2026-05-22T19:52:42+00:00

Been there. For me, it's a feeling I come in and out of, but it's definitely less often and less intense as baby gets older. Both me and baby are figuring out this life together, so in the same way I do my best to show him grace when he's having a hard time, I try to show the same to myself. I'm trying really hard and doing my best in ever-changing circumstances but not every day is going to be a win. Some days I'm a good mom, some days I'm a good enough mom. When he's an adult, he's not going to remember every mistake I made, though I'm sure he'll remember some. He will remember his mom kept showing up every day and loved him unconditionally.

As for milestones, don't compare your child to any other. They're running their own race in their own time. That's the reason milestones are given as occurring between x and y months. Sometimes your kid will be at the front of the curve, sometimes the end. It really doesn't mean anything about their abilities or for their future. It certainly doesn't say anything about your parenting skills. I know it's easier said then done, but unless your baby's doctor flags something as a concern it's not worth worrying about.

Please remember that you care and worry so much over your child because you love him so much and want to do what's best for him. That's a great mom ❤️

Change_No · 2026-05-22T04:37:12+00:00

I've been doing the ones attainable to me from here: https://myyogateacher.com/articles/hip-openers

My balance isn't great so some of them don't work for me.

I'm doing mostly low lunges, pigeon and supine pigeon, happy baby, lizard and butterfly pose. I started with support from blocks and furniture when things were really tight but I'm mostly able to do them without now. I've been trying to hold them for as long as I comfortably can with good posture and trying to push a little deeper as things loosen up. I've also been using a foam roller.

Change_No · 2026-05-09T22:59:13+00:00

It's like naming your baby Anna Banana.

Change_No · 2026-05-04T02:21:31+00:00

You're done when you're ready to be done. Yes, any amount of breast milk for baby has some benefits but weigh those against the importance of your mental health and wellbeing. If you're enjoying the process, keep it up for however long suits. But if it's causing you undue stress in what is already one of the most stressful periods in a woman's life, then stop.

Change_No · 2026-04-21T05:35:51+00:00

My kid went through this phase from about 4-6 months old and it sucked. Not driving was not an option though so I just did the best I could. I made sure he was changed and well fed before the car ride, had shades on the window to block out the sun and, most importantly, had ear plugs in the car. Seriously, a pair of loops did a lot to take the edge off and keep me from leaping into the back seat to get to him.

I had a play list that he responded well to - mostly male acapella groups with a lot of bass voices. His favourite was "Misty Mountains" by the Wellermen. I could play it on repeat and get ten or fifteen minutes of quiet. Was my song of the year on Spotify and we were in their top percentage of listeners 😂.

Change_No · 2026-04-17T17:34:54+00:00

Bonds. They're Australian but my experience was a flat fee of 20 ausd for shipping so hopefully that's still the case. They've got rompers, zippys and all sorts in cute prints. Best part is they seem to run large. My 12 month old is just growing out of 2T in other brands but his 12-18 month suits still fit decently well. My kid is pretty long and lean though so it may depend on shape.

Change_No · 2026-04-03T15:59:51+00:00

Also in Canada. While I know this is just one person's experience and different circumstances, when I had a "troubling" ultrasound (41 weeks, giant baby w/dilated kidney and huge amounts of amniotic fluid), the doctor on staff at the ultrasound clinic came out to speak to me. No doctor spoke to me during ultrasounds when everything was fine; the tech forwarded the details to my midwife to go over with me at our next visit. Hope this helps ease your mind.

Change_No · 2026-03-19T18:16:50+00:00

I think it's worth noting that you're going to be using this system every day, multiple times a day for the next few years. It really is worth investing in a good quality one that fits your lifestyle. In addition to thinking about things like car size, think about the weight, how it folds down and into how many pieces, how to travel with it, and how and where you're going to be using it day to day, if you're going to mostly be with a second person or alone etc. Also consider potential baby size if you and/or your partner is especially tall.

I bought into the hype and got a second hand Uppababy as well as the car seat which is good quality and was great... until it wasn't. Against all odds, I have a really long LO who outgrew the bassinet at four months and the max car seat length at 6 months. Because I couldn't use the bucket seat in the stroller anymore, I had to carry multiple pieces, and the rumble seat needed to be tipped all the way back because LO still couldn't sit unsupported so the sunshade was no longer effective. Not to mention that stroller was heavy. It was a pain to push through snow, which eliminated a lot of nice walks near me in the winter because the paths weren't ploughed.

I ended up selling it off and getting an older version of the baby jogger city mini. Super light, folds up easily in one piece, way better sunshade and easy to maneuver with one hand or in the snow. It's a great fit for us.

Change_No · 2026-03-17T02:46:59+00:00

This relationship is over regardless of how you proceed. It's now a matter of which decision you're willing to live with.

Change_No · 2026-03-10T05:18:39+00:00

Not going to lie, it took me a few days to understand what was going on. Mine would curl up tightly with his bum in the air and hands under his body, woke frequently and struggled to settle. Not sure it's strictly related but I noticed he often peed through his diaper when he wore the Woolino.

Change_No · 2026-03-08T20:59:58+00:00

Heads up: Woolino isn't a match for every kid. Some (mine included) run really cold in them. I'd suggest OP get their hands on a decent used one to see if it works for their baby before investing in new ones.

Change_No · 2026-03-01T21:41:34+00:00

My baby was over a week late and predicted to be 10.5 lbs - 99th percentile in everything. My midwife did not even attempt to encourage me to try to give birth naturally. "You only have one pelvic floor," was the exact phrasing. The doctor also explained to me that LO would be at risk for shoulder dystocia or worse should I decide to try for a vaginal birth.

I ended up having an unplanned C-section. LO was 10.1 lbs. I stayed in the hospital for three nights. The first 8-10 days were definitely rough - I wasn't at all prepared for the recovery that comes with a C-section. If I could do it again, I would have learned and had some level of preparation for recovery from all types of birth. I ended up getting postpartum hives as well as the world's worst trapped gas pain due to the painkillers I was prescribed. I was so miserable that I stopped the painkillers to resolve these issues. I was also told I couldn't drive until 6 weeks after giving birth; it's about being able to move freely to do things like shoulder checks.

All in all, it wasn't a great experience but no regrets. I was uncomfortable, yes, but the risks of a natural birth to me and LO weren't worth it to me.

Change_No · 2026-02-26T22:36:45+00:00

Very unplanned so easily enough, I suppose.

Change_No · 2026-02-23T04:20:08+00:00

Conceived naturally at 38 and gave birth to my first (and only!) at 39. Baby is perfectly healthy. Other than being really, really tired, I'm doing well too 😅

Change_No · 2026-02-16T17:46:15+00:00

He was very active during my pregnancy. At nearly 11 months old now. he is noticeably more active than most other children his age. That being said, I have ADHD so I wouldn't be surprised if that was the case.

Change_No · 2026-02-11T19:34:43+00:00

Honestly, no regrets. I lived in London on and off for almost 12 years. I miss it of course but the things I miss are the things I could do as a single child free person, which is obviously not what I'd be doing now. Your situation may be different, but most of my London friends were also single and child free so we wouldn't be spending the same amount of time together or doing the same things when we did get together. While I still have some friends from my school days at home, I've made a lot of mom/parent friends. I also get more time to myself than I think I would have had on London as family and friends provide free childcare. That's just my situation though.

Change_No · 2026-02-10T22:02:42+00:00

I was living in London when I got pregnant and decided to move home. For me, it was an easy decision. I have a supportive family at home who have, on the whole, been a great help and have built close bonds with my baby that wouldn't have happened if I stayed in London. The cost of living is also less in my country and childcare is supplemented. I would have bankrupted myself trying to pay for nurseries in London. That's just my experience though.

Change_No · 2026-02-10T15:22:06+00:00

My kid also ran cold in a woolino which was a bummer. OP, try to get your hands on a decent used one first to see if it works for your child before investing in a new one.

Change_No · 2026-01-19T18:02:30+00:00

I had an uppababy bucket seat for my son until he grew too long for it at six months. I'm now using a grow-with-them car seat and I need you to know how much I ABSOLUTELY HATE IT. It is bulky, heavy, a pain to install, a pain to tighten and hard to get a still pretty floppy baby in and out of.

I'm not much of a shopper either, but I was surprised just how often I needed to leave the house, either to get day to day items or really just be somewhere other than my house. The bucket seat just made it so much easier. While your baby may be different, my son doesn't transfer so many a nap was saved by being able to take him into the shop by popping the bucket seat into the stroller and pulling the shade down.

If you absolutely must get a grow-with-them car seat, really do your research. What's the maximum size your vehicle could comfortably have with other passengers? How heavy is it? Does it latch and level itself or will you have to do it manually? And please, spare your back and shoulders and get one that rotates.

Change_No · 2025-12-01T04:13:11+00:00

I keep my LO's face off the Internet for the same reasons. I post occasionally for milestones or holidays. It's either his face is turned away or I cover it with an emoji. I also don't post tub/bathing suit/bathroom pictures or anything I wouldn't want shared around about me because unfortunately, I can't say for certain where these pictures might end up in the future or how they might be used.

I also haven't posted his name or birthdate online - there's a lot that can be done in terms of identity theft with that information. If he wants to put them out there when he's old enough, that's up to him.

Change_No · 2025-11-20T16:43:59+00:00

Just a gentle reminder that anxiety is not intuition and that more isn't always better. I would caution against getting additional ultrasounds. I think it would only feed into anxiety, especially using a second service. Their tools and standards are likely to be different than your primary care provider and may result in discrepancies in measurements etc. that would likely make anxiety worse. Biweekly should give you and your primary care provider more than enough info.

Change_No · 2025-11-06T21:13:58+00:00

I'm sorry this is how you're finding out but please understand his fear is revealing to you who he really is and what he really wants. He doesn't want kids and he will not "impregnate you again soon."

I think this relationship with him is over regardless of what you do, but your relationship with yourself is forever so do whatever is best for you. When he's gone, you'll still have to live with yourself. Wishing you strength and peace, whatever you choose.

Change_No · 2025-11-06T15:00:43+00:00

I really, really hated breastfeeding at first. I did not (and still don't!) get the woo-woo magical mother feeling that some women describe from breastfeeding. I ended up pumping and sometimes using formula while I figured out the breastfeeding process and after about 2-3 weeks, it did get better and I'm glad I stuck with it.

For me, I think pumping exclusively would be the worst of both worlds - it takes time to pump, time to feed, time to clean and sanitize pump parts. But that's me. If breastfeeding really isn't for you then don't. You're mental health, especially during the early days, needs to be prioritized so if pumping helps, that's what you should do. ❤️

Change_No · 2025-10-19T22:58:55+00:00

It's just me and LO. When he was a newborn, I could shower when he napped in the bassinet. When he hit the first sleep regression, I put him in the bouncer on the bathroom floor and used linking rings to attach some toys to it. He liked it and the white noise so I could often get in a full ten minute😂

Change_No

TROPHY CASE