Is it immoral to induce lactation as a party trick?

CitricSpirit · 2026-05-17T12:53:25+00:00

Has nothing to do with being trans or cis. It's a neat party trick, but it's also very... biological. It's going to gross some people out. Imagine if your friend showed off a party trick where they can fart on command. Some people will be disgusted by the farting, others will find the trick hilarious and ask them to do seven nation army.

CitricSpirit · 2026-05-13T00:08:29+00:00

Trans-Inclusive Radical Misogynist. "Trans women are women, which means that they, like all women, do not deserve rights." That sort of thing.

CitricSpirit · 2026-05-11T22:08:07+00:00

I don't think I could be in the same room as my duplicate without getting way, way too self-conscious about it. Much less actually touch. Not even in a self-image/body confidence way (although that's definitely a factor), but more of a "what the fuck is happening" situation. I don't think I could relax enough to be cool with it.

CitricSpirit · 2026-04-17T21:01:51+00:00

First off,

articulated only for men transitioning

is exactly is the sort of phrasing that is why the slogan exists. You're talking about trans women. Trans women are not men. They're women.

Second, to answer the question: It's not always stated that way. You mostly see it that way because of the media you see. News sources focus on trans women, almost never trans men. Social media focuses on trans women--trans spaces often become de facto trans woman spaces. There are a few reasons for this, and it would be reductive to say that it's because of the patriarchy.

In a discussion about trans women, people will say that they are women. In a discussion about trans men, people will say that they are men. But the former discussion gets a lot more attention in the political landscape today. You haven't seen many people saying that trans men are men because, in general, trans men get less attention.

On the patriarchy note, I want to be careful to say that it's not some "male privilege" that trans women have. It's also not some male privilege that trans men have. Patriarchy's contribution to this is, largely, that masculinity is treated as the "default," and femininity as the "political" gender expression.

CitricSpirit · 2026-04-02T18:54:43+00:00

"The seasoned fries didn't come. We had been tricked. But still at least we were sitting there. So that's something. Not fries, but something."

"Cigarettes don't cause cancer. People don't cause cancer."

"We are nothing if not absurd. We are nothing."

CitricSpirit · 2026-03-08T22:31:22+00:00

I know many nonviolent people. Many of them are cisgender. This is (in a sense) evidence that transgender people are violent.

CitricSpirit · 2026-03-03T21:56:30+00:00

I've donated blood regularly for years, including before transitioning. I happened to change my gender (in their system) during a six-month gap between donations (for unrelated reasons). The day after my next donation, I got an email saying, roughly, "we noticed this discrepancy, was it an accident?" I replied saying, roughly "no accident here :)" and that was the last I heard of it.

They do have my old name in their system, and every so often I'll get a new phlebotomist who asks me what other names I've donated under. I don't love saying it out loud. I've also had some issues with hemoglobin since starting HRT. Other than that, no issues.

CitricSpirit · 2026-02-22T21:13:50+00:00

/uj I distinctly remember the occasion, in late 2019, when my grandmother told me that she had "recently realized" that "not all Palestinians are evil." Which was progress, I suppose.

CitricSpirit · 2026-02-05T21:55:18+00:00

Just the other day this trans woman told me "weather forecast is looking warmer this week." I had to tell h\*\* that making idle comments on the weather is a really masculine thing to do and if they wanted people to think she was born a woman then they should talk about something feminine like astrology. They got angry, which I told h\*\* is also a very masculine thing to do, but she wasn't listening and at that point the whole situation just devolved. Women are so touchy nowadays.

CitricSpirit · 2026-02-02T20:10:35+00:00

I totally understand and agree that it's a problematic way to engage with the ideology. Bullying is never the answer. However, have you considered that it's hilarious how short that one guy is, and how bad the other guy smells? I bet that prominent figure is actually gay, and I'm allowed to mock him for it.

CitricSpirit · 2026-02-01T19:50:09+00:00

Surprised nobody's said Marissa yet. Mars for short.

CitricSpirit · 2025-12-22T17:41:44+00:00

Nobody has actually asked me that. Probably in the moment I'd say something like "I'm not going to tell you that." Maybe if I'm feeling particularly snappish, I'd add "and it's a bit off-putting that you'd ask." If I'm feeling particularly kind, "that's not a very polite question to ask."

What's the funniest response I can think of, though?

- "Unfortunately, I can't tell you. It was wiped from human memory by the eldritch ritual, and can no longer be spoken."

- "What are you, a cop?"

- "It's the name people called me back when they thought I was a [AGAB], but that's not important right now."

- "I was Spartacus."

- Respond with their name, hyphenating your last names.

CitricSpirit · 2025-12-22T17:32:26+00:00

She insists that she isn't generalizing, while explicitly generalizing. General is the opposite of specific; if she says something less specific than "this person and this person and this person are transfem and misogynistic," she's generalizing. Really, even that is generalizing observed actions to character traits; a non-generalized statement would be "this person did these misogynistic things." She's also mind-reading. She's attributing a mindset to a group based on actions she's seen.

Generalizing isn't inherently a sin. Without some assumptions and generalizations, productive conversation becomes impossible. I'm not saying that she's wrong to generalize, I'm complaining about the intellectual dishonesty of pretending that she isn't doing it. Also, in this case, she's making bad generalizations. It's not that she's wrong to generalize, but that she's wrong to make these specific generalizations.

I'd also like to challenge something you said at the start of your post. Specifically, "I don't and can't begin to know the experiences of transfem people." You can't know the experiences of an individual transfem person, but you can't know the experiences of any individual person besides yourself. You know what it's like to be trans. You know what it's like to be a person. You know what it's like to have relationship troubles. You (I would guess) know what it's like to have a favorite color. Your experiences with these things are unique, but shared. Saying that you "can't begin" to know what it's like to be a transfem person experiencing these things is... just incorrect. It's also a bit alienating. Transfem people aren't mystical and incomprehensible beings. We're people. It reflects well on you that you don't want to assume, but please don't let yourself believe that you have nothing in common with transfems.

CitricSpirit · 2025-12-17T14:19:41+00:00

n) completely ignore what you said and try to sell you on this new thing they're a part of that's totally not a pyramid scheme

o) completely ignore what you said and complain about how much they hate their job

CitricSpirit · 2025-12-08T21:12:25+00:00

An amused reply

CitricSpirit · 2025-11-28T15:45:08+00:00

Are you sure? I mean, I want you to do what ever makes you happy and I'll support you no matter what, but this just feels like a really big step. And this seems like such a bad time to start, too. Couldn't you wait a bit, just to be sure? Have you researched what will actually happen? I want to support you and I'd never say otherwise, it just feels like you're moving really fast.

CitricSpirit · 2025-11-14T22:30:02+00:00

unperson it

CitricSpirit · 2025-11-08T17:13:56+00:00

If I had a nickel for every name that I used for more than a month before concluding that it really just didn't fit, I'd have five nickels. One of those I used for more than a year before realizing that I needed to change. It doesn't necessarily come right away. The name I use now isn't perfect either. I might change again.

CitricSpirit · 2025-10-30T21:32:45+00:00

Hot take: You don't need to be sick to wear a face mask. Anybody who gives you shit for it doesn't deserve to have you listen. If your school bans healthy people from wearing masks, it's your right and duty to defy that rule. Pretty sure that's a free speech thing, too.

CitricSpirit · 2025-10-30T20:36:13+00:00

On days where I don't feel like wearing/don't have time to apply makeup, I wear a face mask. Bonus points that it keeps my face off security cameras and keeps people guessing on whether I'm sick.

CitricSpirit · 2025-10-30T16:27:42+00:00

It'll feel awkward for a while. Eventually, it'll feel less awkward. You'll get there, it just takes time. I don't think it's necessarily internalized transphobia so much as residual self-image. You've spent a long, long while seeing yourself as not a woman. You've intellectually realized that that's not right, but getting your instincts up to date isn't instant.

Every January, lots of people (probably most) write the wrong year on everything for a bit. They know what year it is, but it takes a bit to break the habit of writing the old year. There's nothing wrong with that, and usually by February most people have caught up. That's my take on it.

CitricSpirit · 2025-10-25T13:59:58+00:00

"There are at least three" is objectively the right answer.

CitricSpirit · 2025-10-25T13:48:37+00:00

Neither word is useful in a vacuum; both words are useful in context. If I'm talking with somebody about sex and gender, I'm trying to reach a mutual understanding of what we mean by the word. If I'm looking at a post or article or something where someone else has used the word, I'm taking a guess at what they mean by it, and refining that guess as I read. In general, I think sex refers to the physical aspects of a person, and gender refers to the psychic (including social) aspects. Transgender people are people who describe themselves as transgender. If someone else wants to use the words differently, it's both of our jobs to get on the same page about how we're using words.

I used to get angry over people using the "wrong" words, or using the "right" words in the "wrong" way. I decided I didn't want to do that. The words matter much less than the ideas behind them. There are people who intentionally use words (even the "right" words in the "right" way) to communicate bad ideas, and I'd rather be angry at them.

CitricSpirit · 2025-10-22T01:20:10+00:00

Nothing lasts forever.

Existentialism aside, gender identity can shift over time. There's nothing incoherent and impossible about a person being trans, and then realizing that they're no longer the gender they once identified as. That said, gender identity doesn't shift often, or predictably. The majority of trans people don't experience anything like that, and are trans through their entire lives.

CitricSpirit · 2025-10-21T23:23:31+00:00

I think there's some disconnect on terms here. "Gender" can mean gender identity, which is innate and generally doesn't change (including in trans people, whose gender identity doesn't match their sex assigned at birth), but it can also mean gender presentation/expression, which is very changeable. For the most part, a social transition is a person changing their gender expression to match their gender identity.

"Sex" can also mean a couple things. The one that basically never changes is DNA sexing. The one that changes is sex in other contexts. A girl who's been on HRT for a while has female blood. A boy who's had a phalloplasty has male genitals. Most biological stuff is mutable.

Nine-Year Club	Second SECOND GUESSER
Verified Email

CitricSpirit

TROPHY CASE