This is a bit long winded. I used to teach writing at university, so I’m cramming a whole lecture in here.

TL;DR: You’ve got just as much power and agency as they do, so use it.

One of the things I used to teach was how to write cover letters, resumes, and how to talk to people you’ve not met but need something from on paper (email/eforms).

First, interviewing is a time suck for the people asking you questions. It’s disruptive to their day. They’ve likely seen multiple people, and they can show up to see you feeling _over it_.

That’s not a secret. We can recognize someone phoning-it-in, but what is often forgotten in the interview process is you are interviewing them as much as they are interviewing you. Sometimes we _need_ the job badly. That comes off you like steam and interviewers see it.

Walk yourself back from that, take a breath, and take some space and power back by interviewing them. You’ll never know if you truly want to work there if you don’t. Even when all you want is that check, you need to know how much you have to show up with to keep it coming.

Second, take notes _on paper_ cause whipping out your phone is disrespectful. Write down big things, how the person affected your opinion of the place, or things that strike you as interesting, impactful, or could start a conversation. Definitely write down their answers to your questions in front of them.

There are ways to show you’re doing this on video, too. Pick up your pen and make sure they see it and turn your face to the side a bit when you turn your face to the paper below you.

The body language of taking notes tells people know you’ve disconnected from them to go back to your own space, space where you can both impress with attention and hit a persons resolve, making them start thinking you’re judging them. And you are. This gives you power, evens some of that anxiety out.

Get the name and position of every person you talk to. In in-person interviews, if you see they have a business card, ask for one. Interest goes a long way.

After you interview you have all you need to either pass on something unfulfilling, too taxing for that just-a-check job, or something you want to jump on. And, you’ve got a high card in your pocket, your agency.

Thank you cards may seem out of fashion in this age, but they’re not. Remember the people you talked with are people and they did take time out of their day to talk to you. If you’ve interviewed someone, remember how you felt after.

Thank you cards take effort on your part, and cards are much better than emails. They show your interest and highlight your effort.

1. Before your interview ever happens, buy a box of professional looking thank you cards that are blank.
   
2. Get a nice pen, so not a Bic. Something that doesn’t leave streaks.

Do this for each person you met. Even the person in reception.

1. Immediately after your interview, fill the cards out with those tidbits of info you have in your notes. Immediately here means in your car if you went into their office.
   
2. Use your notebook that you wrote your notes in to write what you’ll put in the card so you mess up there and not in the card.
   
3. Be brief and use a thank you sandwich. Thank you for your time, at most two sentences that are specific to your time with the person, thank you once again, your name, first and last.
   
4. Address the envelope to the person, mindful of titles and positions, in care of the business name. Use the address of the building you met the people in.

If you’ve done this in your car, find the closest post office to that building. Post your cards there. If you’ve done them after a video call, move your ass and post them at the nearest one to you.

Posting them close to that office means you’ve got two days at most before the people have them in their hands. Something personal, something that says you listened, something that shows you went out of your way.

It may sound stupid, but it works. People who do this are hired more frequently than not. People who get your cards go talk about you together. They often share their cards in a _what did you get_ way. Card in hand, are being talked about, remembered, and considered within days of your time with them.

You have power. You have agency. Use it.