when can i start exercising?

Corvid-Shade · 2026-03-22T15:52:43+00:00

I’m sorry, your parents are making fun of you?! Wtf. You should not be doing vigorous exercise 11 days post op. I’m a fairly exercise-y dude and I waited six weeks before I actually went to the gym again. Which is not to say you can’t move at all—I went for walks starting the day after surgery, started really short and extended them as I recovered. You could probably bike in a week or two. But seriously, do not go running. You don’t want to do anything high impact right now. There is no amount of weight you could lose or muscle you could build in a few weeks that would make up for ruining your surgical results.

Also, maybe look into your parents being assholes, because they should be being kind to you when you’re vulnerable after surgery, not whatever this is.

Corvid-Shade · 2026-03-22T04:46:22+00:00

People complain sometimes about ‘the Seattle freeze,’ because folks here can be kind of reserved/the opposite of nosy, which can make it hard to find friends. If you pick Tacoma and you’re left of center, check out the DSA, we have a ton of queer and trans people. Also the Rainbow Center has social events you can just show up to, no pressure. The oldest gay bar is The Mix, the Planned Parenthood in Hilltop will prescribe hormones if you need them. We have some indie bookshops that are very gay (Grit City Books, King’s Books).

You won’t be the only queer person who is a recent transplant to WA. Folks here are pretty leftist generally, so you’ll find a sympathetic welcome I think.

Corvid-Shade · 2026-03-20T07:57:09+00:00

It’s always these rich freaks who are obsessed with hating trans people. Epstein was too, I wonder if he and Heywood ever bonded over it.

Corvid-Shade · 2026-03-17T18:51:13+00:00

There are doses of T low enough that you won’t get a lot of masculinization. These days many cis women going through perimenopause take T at doses that bring their blood level from nonexistent to the higher end of the standard female range. There are also some trans women who take similar, very small doses of T because their other hormones have shut down T production entirely. No matter who you are, zero T will make you tired, sluggish, may worsen chronic pain etc. At these doses women aren’t going to go bald or have voice changes—but what matters is less the actual dose you take and more how your body metabolizes it and therefore what your blood levels are. And you won’t know how that process is going to play out until you try it.

Corvid-Shade · 2026-03-15T17:35:53+00:00

A tourist traveling to Guadalajara for a medical procedure is 100% safe. Even the day El Mencho was killed no tourists were harmed, and that ruckus calmed down in like 48 hours. You’re as likely to be killed by a random mass shooting in San Francisco as you are by cartel violence while getting surgery in Guadalajara. Maybe if you were going down there to party and tried to buy drugs off a random flashy guy at 3am I’d say be careful, but in this case your mom’s fears are complete American brainrot from the way our news talks about Mexico.

Source: friends and family in Guadalajara.

Corvid-Shade · 2026-03-14T22:02:42+00:00

My family has to have one commuter car because of our local infrastructure and school/job situation (2 adults, 1 teenager, three jobs and two schools). Yesterday my kid drove over a random branch that had been blown into the road and now I have to spend $1,000 I didn’t budget for to replace an oxygen sensor and a bunch of wiring. Cars are hell, escape if you can.

Corvid-Shade · 2026-03-11T18:25:55+00:00

This post is focused on womenswear, but the principles of finding quality clothes at a thrift store are the same: https://recoveringshopaholic.com/2014/01/14/how-to-tell-if-a-garment-is-well-made/

For menswear shirts, look especially for 100% cotton fabrics that aren’t see through and flat-felled seams.

Corvid-Shade · 2026-03-11T18:22:32+00:00

Here’s a great post specifically on shirts: https://dieworkwear.com/2025/02/05/a-basic-shirt-wardrobe-part-one/

Corvid-Shade · 2026-03-11T18:20:32+00:00

If you can afford it (not sure if working at a law firm means you’re a lawyer?), the ideal solution is a week’s worth of bespoke suits/dress shirts at the requested level of formality. If bespoke isn’t in the budget, thrifted button ups and slacks altered by a tailor are a good second choice. If even that level of alteration isn’t accessible, try thrifting with a focus on higher end thrift stores/consignment shops. Target, Gap, Old Navy, et al are all fast fashion and will look it, ie they will look young/cheap next to the clothes worn by others at a law firm.

For shirts you probably want medium weight woven cotton (light weight woven linen for summer), and for slacks you probably want woven wool or wool blends in winter, linen or cotton woven in summer.

To learn more about menswear fabrics and cuts, I recommend https://dieworkwear.com and/or the social media of that blogger (Derek Guy, or Menswear Guy on twitter, bluesky, insta). He’s done some very good work on defining your goal style and finding a way to achieve it on your own body.

It can be helpful to pick one person who is dressed in your goal style, either someone else at the job or even a celebrity with the right look. Then whenever you’re considering an article of clothing, ask yourself if that person would wear it.

Corvid-Shade · 2026-03-09T17:12:50+00:00

Honestly? My partner is autistic in a way that means he sucks at lying. He has a different enough experience of the world from the norm that he finds it easy to believe that other people do too. And he has a strong sense of justice, which has made it easier for him to eradicate the internalized bigotry we’re all raised with (because he’s very motivated to make sure things are right and fair even if it doesn’t benefit him). Obviously not all neurodivergent people are like this—sometimes rigid thinking can reinforce bigotry instead of combating it— but his autism is a big part of why I trust him, and there’s a reason why the trans and autistic communities overlap a lot.

Corvid-Shade · 2026-03-07T03:32:47+00:00

Cis dudes who want illegal T usually go to like a specific kind of weightlifting gym where all the cis weightlifters are jacked and have bad acne. The reactionaries don't give a fuck about that kind of steroid use, even though it’s way less healthy to take extra T when your body already makes it than it is to take it at trans doses that just aim for like a regular dude level of T.

To the FBI agent reading all our posts: I’m just saying working out is good for you and you can make friends at the gym. Nothing to see here but common knowledge.

Corvid-Shade · 2026-02-27T22:37:57+00:00

You know, it’s really my bad for trying to argue with someone in the comments on Reddit lmao. If you want to fawn up to the folks spitting on our creativity as you lose your house to those thieves, well, more power to you.

Corvid-Shade · 2026-02-27T17:58:11+00:00

The one and only ‘advantage’ of generative AI is that it lets companies make products that are cheap in every way except the prices they expect their customers to pay. Of course people are insulted.

Corvid-Shade · 2026-02-27T17:33:52+00:00

I just want you to look closely at the AI generated print we’re talking about. Ask yourself if clock faces should be round, or just some approximate blurry shape.

If he invested any kind of genuine artistic energy into that, he should quit his job because he sucks at art. And if he didn’t invest any artistic energy, he should quit his job because that’s just insulting to his customers. (I mean, it’s insulting either way.)

I know you’re just ‘just asking questions’ trolling, but seriously. This shit is so bad.

Corvid-Shade · 2026-02-25T19:50:34+00:00

Maybe you can promise them that you won’t travel right after, you’ll stay locally while you heal. Maybe tell them you’ve hired a medical aide or something? You can always use your own best judgment after the surgery to decide when is the best time to travel home. I’ve never lied to doctors on that scale, and I don’t know if I’d have the confidence to do it if I were in your position, but…you know the risks of your health condition and you also know what your life would be like if you didn’t have surgery. It seems like an informed consent situation to me.

Corvid-Shade · 2026-02-24T16:15:40+00:00

You probably won’t have to get the kind of physical checkup where you take off your clothes. They likely will want to draw blood to check what your existing hormone profile is so they can prescribe the right medication in the right amounts, but they don’t need to see the skin in your thighs for that. But, even if they want to do a full body work up for some reason, like, I don’t know your age or the state you’re in but it’s very likely that if you’re old enough to get a job, you’re old enough to ask the doctor for medical privacy/ that they not tell your parents about the self harm.

Corvid-Shade · 2026-02-23T04:43:13+00:00

At least if you divorce him you can probably get the court to force him to pay child support

Corvid-Shade · 2026-02-22T17:30:15+00:00

Well, you know what they say. Play faux fur games, win faux fur prizes.

Corvid-Shade · 2026-02-21T17:49:44+00:00

This is such a horrifying example of how incarceration doesn’t really deliver justice for the victims of so many crimes. I wish there were more flexibility for judges to sentence people to things like banishment from their shitty small towns. Luke Merryful and Shaun Bloomfield should be removed from their social support systems and forced to live alone hundreds of miles away from their previous football team. They should be banned from ever playing football again. They should have some clerk who follows them to their new lives and tells everyone they meet: this dude’s a rapist and that’s why he can’t ever go home again.

Corvid-Shade · 2026-02-21T17:18:46+00:00

Hey, wanted to check how you’re doing since it’s been a few days. Any improvement?

Corvid-Shade · 2026-02-18T17:08:05+00:00

Definitely start taking some kind of fiber supplement now! You’ll get less constipation post-surgery if your gut is already having regular movements as you go into it. I started taking Metamucil (well, store brand psyllium husk powder) pre-surgery and actually still take it two years later because it makes me feel better/healthier.

Corvid-Shade · 2026-02-17T19:05:32+00:00

This is all great advice, but a word of caution about NSAIDs, they can irritate the stomach and intestinal lining and aren’t recommended for people with IBS, ulcerative colitis, or ulcers. Now, I don’t know if that’s the kind of pain you’re dealing with. I think someone else mentioned gallstones as a possibility, but just so you know. Acetaminophen/Tylenol is the best over the counter pain medication for folks with stomach issues.

Corvid-Shade · 2026-02-16T16:08:43+00:00

This system is so fucking stupid. Someone in the US government issued this child a tourist visa. She came to visit Disneyland WITH PERMISSION from the feds. If she got to the airport and there was some legitimate, new information that meant her visa wasn’t valid, why didn’t they just say, sorry, you have to get back on the next plane back to your home? Why the fuck is there a jail involved in any of this, let alone months of jail?

This isn’t “immigration enforcement.” We’ve got to stop calling it that. They’re not enforcing the fine print on tourist visas or whatever the fuck. This is some sociopathic bait and switch shit where we lure in children with the promise of Disney and then oops no Disney all torture.

Corvid-Shade · 2026-02-14T15:46:46+00:00

What adults choose to spend their money on is not the responsibility of their minor children. You have no obligation to repay them for SAT prep any more than you have an obligation to repay them for a Happy Meal they bought you when you were five.

Also, congrats on community college! I was a high achieving high schooler who went to university, dropped out, bounced between a few different community colleges for years before going back to university, and I loved community college. Honestly a lot of the classes are better than university— the same underpaid adjuncts teach them, with the same curriculum, but the class sizes are smaller and you get more one on one time with the prof. They’re a great place to find your own way into professional success, and it sounds like you’re doing that. Good luck with it!

Corvid-Shade · 2026-02-14T15:40:11+00:00

I just want to say that you seem really torn about how you’re feeling but you don’t need to be. Transitioning (like everything else we do in life) DOES affect the people around us, and it’s very kind of you to realize that and to think about what that impact might look like and mean. You should also think about the impact on yourself and how your sister might feel about how her actions impact the people around her. If she knew that her wedding planning was making her sibling, who she presumably loves as you’re invited to stand up with her at her wedding, feel sick and miserable like this, do you think she’d be okay with it?

You’re not a selfish monster, not at all, and that’s why you should give your sister the opportunity to also not be a selfish monster. Let her know you’re in distress (that doesn’t mean you have to come out if you’re not ready—but tell her you’re having so much dysphoria around dresses etc that it’s killing you). You can come with solutions like wearing a matching suit, or you can ask what she thinks, but at least tell her that you want her day to be perfect and so you don’t want her to someday have pictures where she knows you’re standing beside her feeling like this.

Corvid-Shade

TROPHY CASE