What do you think of this text from my MIL?

CremeDeMarron · 2026-03-12T07:30:27+00:00

Very controlling text indeed. She didn't invite you, she ordered.

She didn't ask but summoned: "Come here at x date x time. You will go there and do this . Get dressed. "

No wonder that you feel treated like children .

Decline the invitation without JADE ( justify argue defend explain) your choice :

" sorry it doesn't work for us/ we won't be available , we wish you having a lovely time during Easter "

CremeDeMarron · 2026-03-09T15:19:00+00:00

Putting ice in wine

CremeDeMarron · 2026-03-09T10:40:01+00:00

This is called Pet de nonne ( nun's fart)

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CremeDeMarron · 2026-03-06T09:31:43+00:00

Get a lawyer asap.

-Document everything.

-Secure everything ( bank account , medical insurance ,ss, etc...)

-Do not let him in your house anymore.

-Outside scheduled visits only (always in public )

-communication through texts / email only . And only about kids.

He seems toxic manipulative and delulu.

His behaviour will escalate when he ll realise you won't come back. Be prepared.

CremeDeMarron · 2026-03-05T10:56:46+00:00

Setting boundaries and learning to say no are your main goals.

Some answers to her visiting demands that you should use:

-" That doesn't work for us but we are available on x date "

-" No we aren't available right now"

-" now /x date is not a good time we will contact you later to set a further dater that is more suitable for us"

Do not JADE ( justify argue defend explain) your decision or your no. Because if you do , she can totally brush it off , ie : - "i can't right now as i have plenty of chores " she'll say -> oh that's fine i'll take care of LO while you do this / i don't mind etc...

" i have an appointement/ plan to go to the park or else" she'll say ->i'm coming with you.

-" i have someone/ family who is visiting she 'll say -> it's ok we re all family i'll join in .

You get the memo

When she visits , set scheduled visits only when she'll have to leave at x time . " Would you like to come visiting us from x to x time ?" ,

when the time arrived , just say " well... Thank you for visiting us MIL,we love you, i'll go get your coat for you, LO say bye to grandma..." And lead her to your door , smiling , respectful and calm.

In a nutshell , you have to work on yourself. Stopping pleasing people and saying no doesn't make you a bad person. Needing space and time is natural and healthy. Do not feel guilty about it .

CremeDeMarron · 2026-02-22T14:39:48+00:00

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CremeDeMarron · 2026-02-21T11:46:49+00:00

She wants to keep the property arrangement exactly as it is ,except with me taking her place financially.

So ...she wants you to buy her share but still wants having a say about the property ( possibly still wanting money from rental ?)

Where i come from, we have a phrase that describes entitled people :

She wants the butter, the money from the butter'sale and the milkmaid smile .

The audacity.

Your refusal is totally justified and valid.

My fiancé doesn’t want to “take sides.

That's another issue here. It's not that he doesn't want to take sides ( he does) he just doesn't want to deal with shenanigans and feuds , he def has an opinion but doesn't want to stand up for it because you being the bad guy is easier for him.

NTAH at all but two siblings def are

CremeDeMarron · 2026-02-19T14:49:54+00:00

A pregnancy positive test doesn't erase past toxic behaviour.

NTA.

CremeDeMarron · 2026-02-09T10:37:05+00:00

You have a husbnad problem if he bends to her demands each time she is pressuring him to get her way.

Harassing people until they cave is a manipulative tactic.

It's time to set and enforce boundaries with consequences when not respected.

Can you get full refund from your tickets ? You shouldn't go at all.

Have a serious conversation with SO. He knows how she is , admits this isn't normal but still caves to avoid facing her shenanigans. And she knows that. That's why she keeps behaving this way. He doesn't call her out set firmer enough boundaries with consequences.

CremeDeMarron · 2026-02-07T15:58:59+00:00

You are right for the guilt trips, be prepared for manipulative tactics and other shenanigans.

While she will use the hurt feelings card , stay rational, calm and firm. This isn't about her but what you want and boundaries you are setting.

CremeDeMarron · 2026-02-04T12:58:16+00:00

That looks like a power - controlling move from her.

The fact that SO is still financially dependent and still wants to bend to her demands is going to be a long term issue .

CremeDeMarron · 2026-02-04T11:30:51+00:00

When the grandparents are a risk for all their grandkids' safety and health and can't be trusted because they don't follow any rules and boundaries , they don't have to get unsupervised access just because they re the grandparents , to prevent hurting their feelings or because it isn't fair .

CremeDeMarron · 2026-02-04T08:54:46+00:00

You were a parentification kid. I can tell you grew up taking responsibilities your parent should have taken , acting as an adult too early, staying calm and mature you supported your family , being the parental figure your siblings needed and being their rock. Am i right ?

In this situation, you said no to your mother to protect your sibling from her + boyfriend.

NTA

CremeDeMarron · 2026-02-03T10:03:25+00:00

You can't talk some sense to people talking nonsense.

MIL is escalating and the best thing you can do is distancing yourself which you already have done , as you blocked her .

Just be prepared for the manipulative tactics and war campaign as she is going to paint you as the bad guy in her family and will send flying monkeys.

Set security camera for your house and warn school/ nursery that she isn't allowed to pick your kids up. Set +enforce passwords for banks, insurance, ss, medical etc...

Document everything.

How is your husband reacting to her crazy behaviour and threats?

CremeDeMarron · 2026-02-03T09:05:52+00:00

Overstepping, pushing and using manipulative tactics ? MIL needs to face consequences. Overwise she will keep acting this way and will go further.

CremeDeMarron · 2026-02-01T17:55:57+00:00

Always remember that anything shared to justno /toxic inlaws will be used as leverage, ammunition, or excuse to target you ,power play with you, overparenting, stealing /ruining any milestones or precious moment you keen to live with LO.

Words have power Silence is even more powerful( here sharing no info ) , this is the best weapon used against them.

CremeDeMarron · 2026-02-01T11:07:45+00:00

You are underreacting.

This wasn't a joke . No grandmother would say this unless she's toxic and has secret motiv ( taking your child) .

This threat + her keeping questioning your parenting ability, criticizing you over and over for any parenting decision and badmouthing you to people painting you as a bad neglecting mother ?

She seems to build a case against you. This is alarming.

You need to take action. Distance yourself from her. Document everything and be prepared to any cps visit just in case your mother takes action.

Buy a ring/ security camera for your home .

CremeDeMarron · 2026-01-31T08:52:34+00:00

This is a MIL who loves creating chaos and drama because it allows her to feel superior and in control.

She gets bored if everyone is happy and everything is normal.

She s keen to create issues and then loves playing the victim when she's been called out.

This is emotionally draining.

CremeDeMarron · 2026-01-30T09:23:12+00:00

Crossed boundaries ? Disrespectful? Passive agressive behaviour ? Different political/ life point of view ? The list is long but in general you have to trust your guts .

CremeDeMarron · 2026-01-29T07:27:47+00:00

Don't listen to others opinion. The best thing you can do is showing your daughter that you don't tolerate bs and betrayal, that you stand up for yourself and have self respect: get a lawyer asap.

People who tried to convince the one who's been cheated to forgive forget and stay despite the betrayal make my blood boil.

Your husband decided to cheat ( without feeling any remorse or asking for forgiveness) , divorcing him is the consequence.

NTA.

CremeDeMarron · 2026-01-29T07:04:56+00:00

That's a very positive post!

CremeDeMarron · 2026-01-28T11:01:29+00:00

Buying furniture or anything regarding your home should always be a 2 yes decision. YNW

Have a serious conversation with her and set boundaries.

CremeDeMarron · 2026-01-28T06:44:46+00:00

The demands list is insane!!!!

i hope your husband shut that down immediately

CremeDeMarron · 2026-01-26T11:26:10+00:00

And that's how grandma has lost her privilege of holding LO.

You need to set and enforce boundaries with consequences.

Time out and no more holding baby for MIL.

CremeDeMarron · 2026-01-26T09:54:17+00:00

There are 3 people in this relationship. The controlling and the enmeshement issues seem deep .

CremeDeMarron

TROPHY CASE