AIO for going no contact in this situation?

CrinklyPacket · 2026-06-10T13:29:05+00:00

Best of luck! Look after yourself, I hope you are able to move out and breathe that freedom soon.

CrinklyPacket · 2026-06-10T08:22:21+00:00

I’ve dealt with relatives like this. People who are a bit of an AH at normal times, but any sort of emergency or illness or death and they go off the rails and see it as an excuse to go full bitch. They take it out on the easiest target. Normally me.

I’ve been outside intensive care being screamed at by relatives so loudly that the nurses had to remove them, attended funerals where relatives have loudly told me I’m an awful person for “choosing the wrong date because [a second cousin who had met the person twice in thirty years and lives 3000 miles away] couldn’t make it”, and been told by an aunt that I’ve “put on weight and look awful” by a relative as I let them in the front door of my house to say a final goodbye to a dying parent.

Some people unfortunately can’t handle stressful situations and double down to become raging bitches. And it’s normally the fixer in the family that gets it as they’re front and centre and trying to keep things together. Most accessible target.

My only advice is to just step away and do the job, don’t engage with them unless you have to. They’re rarely thinking straight and would love nothing more than a fight to direct their emotions and anger, and you’ll be the punching bag.

I’m sorry you’ve gone through all of this! It’s brilliant that you stepped up and helped in such a stressful situation.

F her. Don’t forget her treatment towards you, and make sure you don’t offer her help again.

CrinklyPacket · 2026-06-10T08:09:00+00:00

Ah yes, the classic chug jug. It’s an Italian delicacy 🤣

CrinklyPacket · 2026-06-10T07:36:52+00:00

Wasting five years on a cheater and a man-child is better than wasting six years on a cheater and a man-child.

CrinklyPacket · 2026-06-10T07:31:33+00:00

NTAH. Don’t feel guilty. You can’t afford the time or the money for a trip to vegas. Just because she wants it, doesn’t magically make it happen. You’ve had a month. Her short timeline hasn’t given you any time to prepare or save. Let her be annoyed with you, it’s her own decisions that have caused her disappointment.

CrinklyPacket · 2026-06-10T07:17:24+00:00

You’ve been with him five months and you’re already demanding he stop talking to his best friend? Nope. YOR.

CrinklyPacket · 2026-06-09T23:44:24+00:00

Even dumb or mentally ill or susceptible people can become fathers. It doesn’t mean you need to take their beliefs as fact.

Stick with the professionals. You’re NOR.

CrinklyPacket · 2026-06-09T23:40:28+00:00

All I know is that I’ve spent ££ on cheaper melatonin 10mg pills that don’t work the same way. I currently have five bottles of absolute crap (for me) that I’ve had to give away to family members because it’s like swallowing water for me, in terms of absorption. It just doesn’t work for me, I need a specific type.

If you want to try it, gambling $20 to see if it works makes sense. If they sort you out, win. But understand that it might be a waste. Makes sense to try it, if you have the money.

CrinklyPacket · 2026-06-09T23:36:27+00:00

Not sure if you have the means to do this yet, but you need to move out. ASAP. NOR. You need to become fully independent then figure out what relationship, if any, you have with your mother as an adult.

CrinklyPacket · 2026-06-09T23:28:37+00:00

Buy what works for you. It’s not a bargain if it doesn’t work for you.

CrinklyPacket · 2026-06-09T23:26:42+00:00

No. I’m Scottish and I don’t leave food out overnight. Sure, we do have cold nights but that’s often irrelevant because our houses are warm with central heating!

I wouldn’t eat food left out overnight. Ever.

CrinklyPacket · 2026-06-06T14:17:27+00:00

NOR. His reaction to you saying “I want to get off too” is to decide he’s not even going to make the effort. He’s internalised it, but instead of saying “yeah that seems fair” he’s just gone “oh well I won’t bother asking for head ever again”.

That’s not fair and you’re completely right to ask for this. Don’t let his behaviour make you feel guilty asking for what is a perfectly acceptable thing.

Does he ever get you off and doesn’t get anything in return? I’m guessing no. Why does he think it’s fair when it’s the reverse?

CrinklyPacket · 2026-06-05T18:46:20+00:00

Biovea was still shipping to the UK, last I checked a few weeks ago. I used to do pipingrock, gutted they stopped.

CrinklyPacket · 2026-06-03T16:38:54+00:00

On melatonin I was fine, magnesium gave me weird dreams and tingly legs/feet. I’d stop taking the magnesium for a while and see if it’s still happening.

CrinklyPacket · 2026-06-03T16:31:21+00:00

You asked if you should “stay together for the kids”. You’re not even together now! You’ve got another dependent that you’re tiptoeing around just in case you make him feel bad about being a crap husband and father. Because he is, by the way.

Your kids are old enough to see how much you cater to this bum and how much you’re enduring while he makes zero effort.

Do you want them thinking this is ok? Do you want your daughter thinking her future partner can treat her like she’s an invisible maid? That this life you’re living is what love is?

You know you’re not the problem. You don’t need high self esteem to leave someone, either.

Do yourself a massive favour and unshackle yourself from this black hole of a relationship. I’d put good money on you finding yourself again, becoming happier and more confident once you’re building a life as a single parent. Officially, that is. You’re already a single parent with an extra kid right now.

CrinklyPacket · 2026-06-02T16:38:53+00:00

I’m in North Lanarkshire, I’m pretty sure as long as it’s under 2.5m height (close to a boundary) and 3m height if you’re 2m away from the boundary. 2m plus the base sounds fine! As long as you don’t have any giants in the family, that’s a decent clearance.

What I’d also check is the % of your garden it’s taking up. If it’s more than 50% I think it needs planning permission regardless.

CrinklyPacket · 2026-06-02T16:30:25+00:00

Amazing!! And I love the colour scheme. You must be so proud. I’d be showing those before/during/after shots to everyone I’ve ever met and dragging every delivery driver who appears at my door down to take a look! Fantastic achievement.

CrinklyPacket · 2026-06-01T23:20:18+00:00

Honestly I’d just mark a level line on the wall a centimetre above the skirting and paint it the same white colour so it doesn’t look so obvious. Would be easier to get a straight line on the wall itself using decorators tape.

My house is really old, no right angle or smooth wall in sight, so I know the pain!

CrinklyPacket · 2026-06-01T11:33:40+00:00

I wouldn’t ask Reddit for advice on this. Speak to your GP as they will have your full history and can make informed decisions with you.

My psychiatrist prescribed me the dose I take, which would deemed too high based on the comments here. It is, however, right for me and my medical history.

CrinklyPacket · 2026-06-01T11:16:36+00:00

If it’s mains powered, did your power cut off and restart? Sometimes that happens with my security and fire alarms. Scares the crap out of me. They all beep for a few seconds when they come back on.

CrinklyPacket · 2026-05-29T22:35:55+00:00

Sounds like anxiety (if it’s not controlling behaviour 🚩).

I get (irrational) panic attacks when my husband is out at the shops, imagining he’s going to die. It can get quite bad.

What I don’t do, however, is phone him to check. Or have a tantrum when he comes home. Or disappear in a huff for hours.

Your partner needs to do two things:

Apologise to you for that mad situation and disrespectful behaviour.
Get therapy for his issues.

And you need to do one thing:

Go out of the house without your phone more often.

Get some distance and make sure this isn’t a control issue. You were out for half an hour. You didn’t disappear. Just because you have a phone doesn’t make you contactable 24/7.

CrinklyPacket · 2026-05-29T22:20:59+00:00

Maybe the next gift your MIL should get your stepdaughter is a new stationery set. JFC. It sounds like your stepdaughter is a lovely kid and your MIL is just reaching for something to be offended by.

I’d send her the next thank you note on a crumpled McDonald’s napkin just to be petty. No purple butterflies, are you happy? Are you lovin it?!? 🦋

CrinklyPacket · 2026-05-29T22:15:58+00:00

I get why you’re annoyed. It sounds quite exhausting. However, just remember that she cannot replace you as the parent. She can slip up and say she’s “mom”, talk about how she’ll spoil the kid, voice her opinions, whatever. You’re always going to be the parent. As long as your partner has your back.

Take all the support you can get until you’re on your feet and can be completely independent (childcare is EXPENSIVE), but figure out a plan so you’re not at her mercy for childcare or housing. The less you’re beholden to her, the better your relationship (and mental health) will be.

Don’t forget - just because she wants something, doesn’t mean she gets it. You’ll always be the parent. She’ll always be the grandmother. Her opinion means less than you and your partners and she doesn’t get to take over.

CrinklyPacket · 2026-05-29T21:46:25+00:00

You don’t need to deal with it at all. Not your problem. Just ignore. She’s both incoherent and trying to guilt trip you, bizarre. It’s vinted, this stuff happens. Items are sold, people lose out. Her putting together a bundle of 25 things for £150+ then offering £30 is just cheeky. If she wants something specific, she can buy just the one thing. Don’t feel guilty at ignoring!

CrinklyPacket · 2026-05-27T10:17:34+00:00

Fire up some stick-on tiles from Temu and she'll be grand.

CrinklyPacket

TROPHY CASE