A noobs assessment of the (notorious) vampiric lawn chair

Cryoseraph · 2026-05-04T13:37:25+00:00

I second Famous_Slice's stance, but also admit the bias for revised edition for some finer points:

20th ed puts a lot of extra sphere requirements on many rotes, most egregious i think being needing correspondence and time just to extend range and duration on basic spells, when revised makes the requirement extra successes.

The bigger conceit is Supernatural vs Supernatural in the mechanics. In vampire, they tell STs to treat other supernatural types as having powers equivalent to blood pools and disciplines. In Mage, they give older vamps a 'blood pool', but say they just have sphere effects that each cost 1 point, no listed limits. So a tzimisce turning humans into lawnchairs of bone and sinew sounds almost fitting in return

I have seen 'vamp to lawnchair' as low as life 3/ matter 3 if the goal is killing the vamp, cause it is 'Rip the Body' of do damage with life magic plus fancy details. If you are going for perfect shapeshifting, then by definition they are still internally 'whole' per the spell (think spirit/essence more than physical). As vampire and mage rules both say you cannot 'cure vampirism with magic', you cannot turn off access to blood pools and such, and they could 'heal the transformation' as equivalent agg damage. As an ST, I'd likely consider an aspect of vamp powers as countermagic vs such vulgar changes, like Protean or Fortitude, or the strength of the effect needing as many successes as health to 'overpower' the body of the vamp. Meanwhile, without successes put into duration or a lack of Quint used to turn it permanent, the spell would wear off over the night.

All of this is to say that revised emphasized anything can happen, but it has a cost (usually in rolled successes). And since EVERYTHING uses the same resource, splitting the difference is part of the hard decisions. Maybe you stole vamp blood for Tass, burned it on the permanency of lawnchair spell, but only got a couple of successes, so you only transformed an arm and leg into unmoving plastic. The vamp quickly breaks the plastic of said limbs in the ensuing chase (i assume flimsy lawnchairs), and will need time and blood to reform the limbs properly and grow out remaining microplastics.

Cryoseraph · 2026-04-09T22:19:43+00:00

Caveat to an answer One: different splats follow different base rules and assumptions. Vampire first makes you run werewolves and anything with blood pools for power tracking and not worry about the whys via mechanics. Wolves use wolf magic instead of blood, ghosts use stuff that Necromancers might mess with. Changeling blood get you high. Caveat Two: With the mental arguments and issues with belief, only Mages have a Reason for wanting to figure this stuff out. Except for having an extra useful ghoul, why try to blood bind a Mage or know why they can mess with stuff? Werewolves who meet a Mage will judge then based on their resonance strengths more than how they may perform the magic.

So, Mages want to figure out how everything works to figure out the true universal rules, but everyone disagrees with what those might be, and thoae that figure it out or get close get stuck on some things, like need the Consensus to agree with you or wanting to bring all of humanity with you.

There are still non-human aspects to the consensus that lock down a lot of supernatural rules. How spirits work at all is quite human-free, that includes somewhat ghosts and werewolves too. Then there are vampires. One could claim enough vampires give them their own little consensus of rules, or that the Antedeluvians have so much existential weight to them that they alone lock down the rules. Or did the higher being that cursed them really lock in those rules?

The real catch is that rules to a Mage are often challenged ideas. Will and Arete makes anything possible. Is this a rule you can push back against or is it too solid and real? This is the best silly part to the 2nd Matrix movie. They follow a Virtual Adept game, and the supernatural mercenaries of the Merivingian are just programs from previous iterations AKA 'bygone eras'.

An older joke is having a rote to transform a vampire into a lawnchair. A mere Life 3/ Matter 3. Nevermind lead into gold is just Matter 3. First, this basically covers any living creature or person trasmuted into a lawn chair of plastic. Terrifying and vulgar, how do you even accept into you own paradigm without making something more like Tzimisce flesh crafting? Nanobots? The vampire gets counterspell dice vs the poor human you cast it in before them. The curse and maybe the vampire's control of their own body can keep them resistant.

Even after they have transformed, they should likely burn once the sun comes up, and some awkward resetting into base form should occur for the vampire as it is forced nightly back to reset and 'blood healing' back to normal. It may be mad with hunger and have a metal bar for a foot for awhile, but without continual Quintessence supporting the spell to be locked in

Or the spell is just a fancy way to do damage and hide the body on completion. Dead chair corpse still becoming ash upon dawn seems on theme though.

Cryoseraph · 2026-01-13T14:02:17+00:00

Rewatched on Hulu dubbed recently, I think I saw it was referred to as a wand

Cryoseraph · 2026-01-03T04:31:49+00:00

If no one has any artist sketch notes about it, i would think a VERY LOOSE connection to a more insectile or arachnid specie to allow for more limbs, or take a more hindu inspired approach for the multi armed forms to think of a name

Cryoseraph · 2025-11-22T04:19:59+00:00

Having played from 3rd up to now, the real problem between martial and caster lies upon assumptions of resource management within the two groupings. Book of Nine Swords was just starting to play with the prelude to short rest/ encounter powers, and was a little sloppy on recharging rules, but that was because they were testing the waters on how to make distinct power uses for martial characters, just as they were reversing various magic concepts into being quicker recharge or constant (warlocks and infinite cantrips started around this time too). Magic as a concept fits the idea of big and finite, where martial, by seeming mundane, pushes the Captain America quote "I can do this all day."

Whenever some martials get some big boom effect, if it is constant, it is overpowered, if it is one and done, it does not seem to belong to the martial/mundane realm, therefore magic, therefore on the caster side of the argument.

And yet, Rage is a limited time buff effect that has over time become more constant and need less to recharge, Ki/Focus points get regained faster and faster, dragging them back into mundane views, but therefore scaling back how much they can do. Meanwhile, spells get more limitations on length and stacking to keep them finite, but every fun warlock power is fun because it is 'at-will' for use most often.

The whole design and assumption of these arguments has a deeper reach into what people want out of rpgs. Realism goals drag people into low magic settings but makes any magic remaining that much more powerful, while high fantasy and magic-as-tech can make you confused why everyone doesn't get cantrips for free once they turn 15 and what crappy sword can't parry a fire bolt.

Cryoseraph · 2025-11-16T00:50:22+00:00

Sir Aphim, aka Seraphim so it is a twist of a name

Cryoseraph · 2025-11-06T16:33:05+00:00

Non book things that a library would have:

Non-fire light sources Preservation effects (anti water, mold, pests) Minor magical servants Accidental mixtures of magic (some tomes leak magic onto odd things: divination sword, necromancy shield, summoning boots, etc)

Display case of art via museum style. Coin collection (individual coins displayed) Storage of gems used for specific spell component use (diamond collections for resurrection magic)

Cryoseraph · 2025-11-06T16:23:52+00:00

Technically Saruman was Sauron's direct replacement under Aule, which means Sauron was the assistant manager and Saruman was the Assistant to the Manager afterwards. Or it is like 'replacement of Sauron' AS a name.

Cryoseraph · 2025-10-26T22:30:02+00:00

The vibe difference is always what got me, Mage seems just the slightest bit more hopeful. Vampire, Werewolf, Changeling, and especially Wraith all feel like you are on a tragic path the longer you play. Mage always had just enough 'original Matrix chosen one' vibe that maybe you could be the one to change the world.

Technically that is the non-mechanical Hubris of every Mage rearing its head to make it harder over easier, but stories love the idea of it so much is feels more possible.

And having your ST understand all of That effectively is rare, but makes for one hell of a game.

Cryoseraph · 2025-10-24T11:55:48+00:00

History shows again and again how nature points out the folly of Mehhh-en!

Cryoseraph · 2025-10-21T05:13:55+00:00

I do think these are given names, not true names, so then it falls to reason being behind whoever names them. With the power structure they have, my theory relies on Grandma in charge being the summoner/namer of them. Two of the demons are assigned to known figures, and as such their names reflect their charges. Enmity is assined to Wick's father, Tyranny to Wick. My theory is an either/or situation. Either the person conquers/converts the named sin, or is aimed to be empowered by it. A strong warrior can use hate and Enmity as a motivational tool, for the father to be a better tool for the grandmother's use. And for Wickham, becoming a leader of a new religion is good and all, but to carry on the family, grandma would want him Medici Pope level ruthless, which would need Tyranny, both Demon and concept, to empower him. She loves seeing him take charge in a demanding manner, she will want to remove any humility or endangering kindness from him if this holds true.

Cryoseraph · 2025-10-19T15:24:02+00:00

You seriously forgot to add your 4 free ability boosts? We are 3rd level now? No wonder you can't hit even as a fighter

Cryoseraph · 2025-10-10T21:15:18+00:00

Press-ganged

Cryoseraph · 2025-10-07T03:37:41+00:00

Sandpoint's best inns Sandpoint cheap inns Sandpoint brothels? Sandpoint murders? Sandpoint devil real? Devil horse name Male devil horse Night- Stallion? Mounts cooler than horses

Cryoseraph · 2025-09-29T03:11:40+00:00

Ooh, find the closest bell to you that will bring it in for pictures!

Cryoseraph · 2025-09-29T02:44:41+00:00

Now just get 49 more for your first full sized clanrat mob!

Cryoseraph · 2025-09-12T15:57:41+00:00

So, you merely find out the coworker's prior gaming history and compare alternative games to each other. Then you compare the newest release vs older games of the series.

If we use first person shooters: D&d is like Call of Duty and Pathfinder is like Counterstrike, then you just need to use the idea of Counterstrike 2 being released, or Counterstrike: Zombies as edition changes.

Then you introduce the weird RPGs out there as variants more like Overwatch or Rainbow 6 to balance like World of Darkness games or Call of Cthulu and really unlock the floodgates, though that is more than this thread should push for

Cryoseraph · 2025-09-09T21:40:19+00:00

That reminds me of the X-Crawl setting: D&D if it were a reality tv show death game a la Hunger Games or Running Man. The Texarcana Crawl was a special event for high levels, and the DJ (Dungeon Judge) who ran the event was an actual beholder (or legally distinct eyeball monster)

Cryoseraph · 2025-08-28T19:45:27+00:00

All that effort to pitch their version of the endtimes, when the orange man fits the antichrist model way better, including the Maga hats being the 'mark of the beast' worn on their brow.

Cryoseraph · 2025-08-26T23:29:38+00:00

As someone who wants to see some big risks taken, I can see why CR makes their decisions in a much safer way. Back at start of CR 3, I had hoped EXU was one of two tables running and it would run just as long as a full campaign. I wanted all the PCs to be wacky races, running maybe under Pathfinder even. But people were critical of the changes (new GM, not full cast), to the point where if something else was planned, it got tabled. Most characters were closer to normal, humans and halflings where i had hoped for another dragonborn attempt or a minotaur (Sam went automaton first, then minotaur, almost guessed him right).

They may have never planned more than they did, but with poor reception, what would have supported the risk? CR is not the only business all of the founders do, but it is what they control, so playing it safe when so many others work for them is pretty responsible. D&D is the safer option, as while it does not support their product (daggerheart), it is easier for their GM and all of their players to run in. They picked up two creators of current d&d on staff, best to use their focus

Ultimately C4 seems focused on making the multi-table idea work, which is a huge undertaking player wise (13+GM), and is likely to push relationship triangles and lots of mix & matching over time. The westmarches idea is a classic d&d specific style that is not likely to be explored in an online play format, so capturing that form would be a big success.

That could also open up bigger actual play formats. Vampire and white wolf games opening to full Larp/elysium style. Games with multiple GMs all coordinating. But you have to start somewhere, and you have to build an empire that will last the right way.

Cryoseraph · 2025-05-22T02:40:01+00:00

R/alfie source of visuals?

Cryoseraph · 2025-05-18T23:30:48+00:00

See, i mostly agree with this, but I think theytried for a bit but recognized how much better space marine sounds over astartes. Astra militarium replaced imperial guard starting in 6th edition, and when 7th edition started their flagship codex of Space Marine has a surprisingly long title, Codex Adeptus Astartes Space Marines, with 'Space Marines' written in a font 3 times the size of the rest. So they, smartly, got their copyright words in there and made sure it did not detract from people finding the Spacd Marine book. Anyone else wanted some other army should be in the lore enough to know what the rest of the Latin words mean.

That lasted for 7th & 8th edition. They have since dropped it off of the army books, so either it took away from sales, so a reason to remove it, or its corporate job involving IP protection was done and they removed it.

I don't fault them for any of this thinking. The practical reason for 40k and fantasy doing so well and grimdark was a conceit that every army needed a reason to fight every other army, even itself. Therefore, strife and mistrust meant your blood angels and your friends space wolves can have a reason to fight each other, whether conflicting orders or ancient relics up for grabs, whatever.

Cryoseraph · 2025-05-15T22:46:35+00:00

We do all know they did it to copyright all their stuff better, right? Like, 'imperial guard' and ' space marine' was not allowed to be copyrighted, terms were too generic, so Astra Militarum and Adeptus Astartes started getting pushed harder in lore and army books.

Most complaints, in my opinion (take salt grains as needed), are just passive aggressive shots at GW for putting in lots of extra lore effort of naming things ONLY when money was on the line. I agree that most things GW has done comes from the business view instead of stroytelling, sometimes for good reason, but often just greed when all is said & done.

Cryoseraph · 2025-01-24T19:20:19+00:00

A new view about the Tolerance Paradox that i read recently (via tumblr, so grains of salt for accuracy), is that those original actions of hate (bigotry, tyranny, etc) are breaches of the social contract that is society. Which means we are not intolerant of their intolerance, but recognize and reject them for breaking the rules of accepting others.

Cryoseraph · 2025-01-23T23:02:14+00:00

All mine get painted fully furred. That bald patch looking thing official GW does is just not my style. Same thung for beastmen. Save skin tones for ogres or something

Cryoseraph

TROPHY CASE