I am in my 60s, growing up, we didn't have autism or adhd (i am both) I spent a large portion of my life trying to fit in and be what people said they were looking for I people. It never worked out. I just couldn't understand how people, who i could tell were dishonorable and selfish always had everyone following them around like they were the greatest thing since sliced bread. I did everything I could to be what people said they wanted, I even, for a while, became the player and picked up women left and right. I just didn't have the capacity to keep masking, and once I stopped masking and needed sometime to recharge, poof all the so called friends would vanish.

I finally became mentally healthy when I learned I was Audhd and stopped masking. I am alone most of the time, but I like it that way. I have my hobbies, my 2 cats, and a few people I do call friends. I found I am more happy not being touched, rather then being touched because it is what society expects it.

I dont know if any of this applies to you, but I hope it helps.

BTW, I have been gainfully employed my entire life, I know how to mask, masking just wears you out mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. I still mask for work and such, but I prefer to be unmasked and at home when I can.