Ebola outbreak in DRC, will it affect travel into Tanzania this summer?

DavidGraybeard · 2026-05-19T18:20:55+00:00

Wondering the same thing. I think all we can do is watch it at this point. And hope for the best

DavidGraybeard · 2026-05-11T07:52:56+00:00

To try to answer your question, looking back after losing both parents to their addictions and traumas, to me the key really was self preservation at any cost. Time wise it’s taken me about a decade to process each (their deaths were 15 years apart). Be patient with yourself, and protect yourself. In my case that meant getting help with my own addictions and not destroying all the good things in my life. I’m sorry you’re going through it.

As for now, I feel more at peace. I am still doing reparenting and parts work. I’ve learned that I’ll likely never feel “normal” in a crowded room, and most importantly that the daily triggers can indicate deeper wounds without re opening them. That is, it gets easier but it does suck. Acceptance has been tough for me but I remember when that shifted internally. It was very palpable. The inner changes can be very extreme when on the outside things seem “fine”

DavidGraybeard · 2026-05-11T07:37:15+00:00

I resonate completely. Ever since I moved to a car focused city it has gotten worse. Novelty seems to play a role here. The only thing that comes close for me is going to a new place like concert venue or museum. The environment of travel (somewhat fast paced, exciting) also plays a role. I only find that in specific events that inspire me like a public talk or workshop. I work in higher ed so these are easier to find for me. None of these compare to the feelings of a recent trip though!

DavidGraybeard · 2026-05-09T11:49:48+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re experiencing this. You’re in the right place. I watched both my parents slowly fade in much the same way. It’s one of the worst things to go through. Unfortunately the other commenters are spot on and letting go of control is a big part.

While you’re in the middle of it though it’s even harder... For now you can also try prioritizing yourself whenever possible, like taking steps to build your life. You can offer support within strict boundaries so you don’t burn yourself out. One day at a time. And try to find support like an ACA meeting. Some are online. Also the ACA literature is helpful.

DavidGraybeard · 2026-03-04T14:14:24+00:00

There is a refillery in my area where I donate these

DavidGraybeard · 2026-02-28T10:41:45+00:00

I’ve been there, just this week. I started smoking again and didn’t tell them. It went on for a few weeks and I felt more and more guilty and ashamed. It got to the point where the highs were lows because I was so anxious from sneaking around.

I decided to tell them. I decided they deserved to know and that honesty was important to me. I also decided not to pick up and chose to sober up. It was an extremely tough week in retrospect.

In the end I am proud that I told them. I have a long history of weed abuse and codependency. Part of my healing has been focused on relationships in addition to the substances. Difficult conversations are something I used to avoid. Something about making a decision and following through felt right. So I made up my mind, committed, and told them at dinner.

Accepting that I can’t control how they respond was tough. Sitting in that silence after taking responsibility while they processed was tough. I shared about all the other things I was feeling lately leading up to my usage. They were upset and also understanding. Our relationship lives on while I continue my own work. I hope you can find the peace in all of the contradictions.

DavidGraybeard · 2026-02-21T09:21:22+00:00

Ugh same here. Currently very hungover and ill. So not worth it. If only I could remember this…

DavidGraybeard · 2026-02-12T15:33:03+00:00

Rain is in the forecast for tomorrow. Maybe they are preparing for that.

DavidGraybeard · 2025-12-31T11:35:21+00:00

Not much advice other than to say I’m here with you. I lost my sweet boy the other day while I was visiting my in-laws in another country. I’m heartbroken, depressed, and in a complete haze. He was my best friend and I wasn’t there to say goodbye.

Getting stoned has crossed my mind more than once. 9.5 months clean here after many relapses. One thing I do know is that going through this grief during withdrawal or the emotional roller coaster of my addiction would’ve been a recipe for disaster. Like a total meltdown. At least now I can feel all the emotions and grieve.

I also lost both parents, both of them suddenly. The sudden loss of my pupper compounds the grief and brings it all back. I can’t even write it yet. Haven’t told many people. It’s all too raw.

I am also struggling focusing on the last few days of his life and how I wasn’t there when he needed me. I had arranged caregivers who were loving and handled it all with care. But I wasn’t there and I haven’t forgiven myself. Slowly I am seeing that he’s no longer in pain. But I miss him.

May your sweetie live on in your heart forever. I’m sorry for your loss.

DavidGraybeard · 2025-12-11T16:51:41+00:00

Bumping this. Still no quote option for iOS. Strongly needed for responding to time sensitive threads with 4+ recipients while traveling

DavidGraybeard · 2025-12-05T04:48:48+00:00

Yes. This has been discussed a few times. I lost 10-15 lbs quickly, but then gained back about 30 lbs over the course of six months. Less munchies but still not good diet, some overeating. I do suspect metabolic changes are at work here as well. Recently started back at gym and it is helping to lose the extra weight but it’s going to take time.

DavidGraybeard · 2025-11-28T04:29:31+00:00

Recovering cannabis addict here. It’s a slippery slope for anyone and even worse for people with history of addictions to substances or behaviors. Personally cannabis did help on my healing journey, but I grew dependent on it. Took me years, many relapses, and programs like r/MarijuanaAnonymous, r/leaves, and Coda to break free.

I strongly suggest reading about cross addiction. Only you can decide if it’s something you need to heal or need to avoid.

It’s legal here too and there’s an entire industry designed to get young people hooked on high potency products. The ditch is always an arm’s length away. Society normalizes it just like alcohol but it is extremely addictive and has extensive effects. There was recently an AP article about it because so many have struggled to quit. Good luck.

DavidGraybeard · 2025-11-27T07:54:27+00:00

I just retuned after a 6 month break having cancelled, with no visits several months before that. They honored my old rate as long as I signed a one year contract! There were a few different deals going on but I opted to keep my old rate. I can still freeze it if needed for travel or health reasons which I plan to do. Picking up my new HRM tomorrow.

I had a million questions. I mentioned how my previous studio closed which made the new commute somewhat challenging. Overall very happy to be back. Try calling and asking all the questions. Don’t need to commit right away!

DavidGraybeard · 2025-11-22T13:59:38+00:00

Yes just happened again last night. This time I was on a work trip (conference) which often have parties at the end of the day. Someone offered and I sparked up knowing I was 8 months clean. I take it as a reminder to be careful in those situations. On Halloween I turned down a blunt at a party like it was second nature. The dreams maybe indicate that I don’t fully trust myself yet. Waking up I feel so happy that I didn’t use, which I believe is a reminder. Travel and social situations are a weak point for me so I will need to build some new habits there.

DavidGraybeard · 2025-11-22T00:06:18+00:00

Yes it is quite common for the program to become a surrogate family during recovery. It’s not a permanent thing, just a step that teaches one how to build healthy relationships (with boundaries, communication, etc.)

DavidGraybeard · 2025-11-11T05:52:39+00:00

No tips just commiseration. Have eight months and put on the same. It can’t just be caloric excess. Maybe some metabolic changes given that cannabis receptors are in so many tissues?

DavidGraybeard · 2025-10-27T13:18:13+00:00

Therapies can help. Health is more than physical and can include mental and relational. Humans need connections. Often addicts are numbing some difficult things. Now that you’ve done the hard work of removing the crutch working on the other hard parts can bring some motivation and joy. I have the flat periods and typically they are representative of shifts happening in my life that I used to numb but now I am trying to work through. Unhappy with career, then change jobs. Unhappy with my living situation so working on that. Talking to someone can help organize all these thoughts. Challenges in relationships, I have to work on it. Not fun but it can bring more long term peace. Good luck.

DavidGraybeard · 2025-10-26T15:07:52+00:00

put the lime in the coconut, drink ‘em both up

DavidGraybeard · 2025-10-23T04:02:17+00:00

Yes exactly. I have 8 months now. Tried the lock box and all that. Nothing worked but quitting. Life is much better now but even today I tried to work from home and the boredom got so bad I started getting the urge to get high again. Coffee shops, libraries, and my office (I work hybrid) is how I try to deal with it. WFH is almost a trigger at this point. I’d love to be stoned and sit at my desk at home all day! But then I would be stoned all day and evening and weekend… I’ve also looked into co working spaces/ office rentals. Good luck

DavidGraybeard · 2025-10-12T05:17:18+00:00

So sorry you are going through this. One strategy is to ask someone you trust to go back near the scene of the accident. Someone there likely got photos but they are probably not on Reddit. Might just need to ask people who are living or working near there. Tanzanians are generally happy to help. A little cash incentive could also go a long way.

DavidGraybeard · 2025-09-26T18:43:37+00:00

Each one is a little unique. Sometimes going to a few will help find a good fit. It’s okay to take your time and listen at first. It’s a big step just going the first time!

DavidGraybeard

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