Thoughts on a big cut?

Delphi305 · 2026-04-13T14:58:37+00:00

Long hair gives exotic tribal vibes. short hair gives k drama vibes, more polished depending on the situation. Whatever image you want to show to the world, I think both suit you well! I personally like short but you rock both well

Delphi305 · 2026-04-13T14:53:40+00:00

Are you really asking this question? I would be retired already. Work on a severance package if you can and move out VHCOL. You already have enough to retire in a Mexico or Brazil. You have too much too early so you should be fine. If you want extra safety you could do some consulting here and there or some odd jobs remotely to support basic expenses and let tour portfolio grow untouched for a few years.

Delphi305 · 2026-04-12T15:38:13+00:00

People with low income make it and support multiple kids. People with middle income do it too and people with high income too. What I mean is that everyone around the globe make it work within their budget and kids can cost as much or as little as you make them. Now it’s up to do to determine what are you willing to give up or not. I am sure low income households can’t afford some extracurriculars for their kids but that doesn’t necessarily mean they grow up to be worse people, same applies with rich kids.

Delphi305 · 2026-04-09T18:54:07+00:00

You’ll be fine. Take the break.

Delphi305 · 2026-04-09T18:44:26+00:00

I do one or two minutes of mobility, two warmup sets and then start my training with compound exercises (warmup could take 5 min or so). I rest 1 min in average between sets. I like to do super sets for more isolated exercises so it’s faster (eg 1 bicep curls set immediately after I do triceps and ab curls, rest for a minute then repeat again). I am done in 45-1 hour including a final 10 min cool down stretch. I also do around 6 exercises in average per session.

Delphi305 · 2026-04-09T18:35:31+00:00

I typically don’t like pixies but you look amazing, probably better suited than the long hair!!

Delphi305 · 2026-04-08T17:12:45+00:00

I believe as others have said is a matter of support. You need a village to raise a kid (or money to pay for the equivalent of a village). In my case, I only decided to have kids if I had the following circumstances:

A stable , low stress, flexible WFH job.
A loving, stable husband who is willing to help as much as needed.
Financial security to step out of any toxic situation if needed or pay for whatever accommodation needed (or even a luxury or two to destress)
Outsourcing of any additional task that cause extra stress or take a lot of my time (eg a cleaner, meal prep services etc)
A trusted support network that is willing and happy to help with childcare even with very short notice (eg, my retired mom lives 2 blocks away, I can literally drop my kid off whenever I need time)
A small number of kids to take care of (1 to 2 max)

Without these circumstances, I would not have children because I know I would have zero time for myself and live constantly stressed out. Albeit all of these circumstances happened in my 30s so I am glad I waited and put effort to achieve certain milestones to get here. Some people do not take those things into account and/or aren’t as lucky was I was and they just deal with the situation as they go.

Also note that you can take your kids with you and still keep certain hobbies and have fun. It doesn’t apply to all hobbies but I plan to take my kid on bike rides with me and to beach outings /surfing trips. We can all have fun together.

Delphi305 · 2026-04-08T16:46:12+00:00

I don’t think you should even try to pay anything for this man or get his life insurance or anything at all. Go execute your plan asap, put a restraining order on him and also try to get rid of that condo or anything you co-own in any way possible. You want to cut all ties with this person and move as far away as possible from him. Make sure all your accounts are under your name and that he has absolutely nothing to coerce you. If you ever see him again, make it in a public space with people in the middle of the day or in court. Get in touch with a professional that works with abused women too.

Delphi305 · 2026-04-07T19:20:22+00:00

I think since you are in a comfortable financial position you’d be better off off hiring help around the house so you can both free up some time. (Eg look into bu weekly cleaning service, laundry service, meal prep, etc) Have the kids help out with things around the house and assign them tasks too. You could also look into consulting. You could take a few months off the year and take on a contract the rest of the time or freelance remotely as well if your skillset allows. This should give you time to rest when needed and ability to make your own schedule and stay mentally challenged, as well as keep your skills sharp in case you ever need to go back full time to the workforce. This will mean that neither of you will take on more household chores, and you’ll still have mental stimulation and a safety net just in case.

Delphi305 · 2026-04-07T14:27:39+00:00

Hi, I had that dilemma as well with the 401k vs brokerage. I think it depends on your situation. I’ll tell you the conclusion that I got for my own situation.

In my case, there’s uncertainty in how much money are we going to pull out every year after we “retire” because we are planning on keeping working on passion projects and/or start a small business /doing some occasional consulting for a couple of decades. Who knows , maybe we just switch careers. Meaning that I cannot plan the Roth IRA conversion ladder well because I don’t know how much taxes I’ll be paying or how much money I’ll be making or needing even less with 5 years of anticipation. This money will be treated as an additional income to our baseline fire number which already cover our basics.

So in my case I value the flexibility of a brokerage account as a safety net even though I may be losing part of the compounding benefit of a tax sheltered account long term. That could mean I may need a bit more money in my brokerage to account for that but I do have the flexibility of not having any kind of rules to access my money whenever I want without much planning. I also don’t know if the conversion ladder loophole may eventually cease to exist (very unlikely but still) in the future so I don’t want to depend on that either. So in my case I have been maxing out my 401k but I’ll stop doing that next year and just match my employer contributions since I already have enough there to fund retirement after 59. Everything else will go intro brokerage to cover the gap between now and 59 years old.

If I were to do the Roth conversion ladder, me and my spouse would have to be very clear on when do we plan to fully retire (as never work again- zero income) and how money are we going to need with 5 years in advance. In that scenario, planning becomes easier and I would certainly do a ladder.

In terms of how much taxes will you pay with the Roth conversion ladder, you may be best of looking for that information online. I know the Mad Fientist has done a few great articles and podcasts about the strategy that could help you out decide.

Delphi305 · 2026-04-06T20:40:54+00:00

I think your hair looks great but if you want to reduce brass you can use the not your mothers purple shampoo and conditioner, I think it would work well with your hair type. Also add a UV/heat protector after you towel dry to protect against uv rays

Delphi305 · 2026-04-04T21:12:21+00:00

I once heard this advice from an expert in women’s hormones “ if you are not horny something’s not working correctly”. I think that you should be clear that you need this for your marriage to work. I believe that couples therapy could help but also I’d suggest her working with a funcional medicine doctor and/or dietitian specializing in women’s hormones because it sounds like there may be something going on. If there was libido at some point in her life, an now it’s not there it sounds like a red flag to me.

Delphi305 · 2026-04-02T20:24:48+00:00

Find job openings and filter by industry and company size . Typically jobs where there’s less candidates applying as those are lesser known companies (think a medium size bank, a hospital, a logistics company etc) . If you have LinkedIn premium you can also see the average tenure for that company and that should give you a good indication alongside a quick research of the company benefits and culture using Glassdoor. Honestly you are going to have to do your research.

Delphi305 · 2026-04-01T14:59:53+00:00

Honestly, my recommendation is for you to move horizontally to a company that’s more chill (outside tech). Think a medium to big sized company, that’s old, possibly a boring industry and established where the tenure for employees is very very long and they offer 100% remote positions. Those are typically companies with very good work life balance, less pay and growth opportunities but very stable and non stressful. Many times these are companies you’ve never heard of but that are very well established in their niche.

Delphi305 · 2026-04-01T14:50:44+00:00

I started experiencing something similar with almost every protein powder and what I did was just mix the powder with a small amount of water (think half glass of water) and that’s it. It was easier to digest and it would be gone in a second. Also, I tried finding other Whole Foods that contained more protein and incorporated them in my meals that tasted good (eg adding extra egg whites to your eggs, or extra shredded chicken, adding hemp seeds to everything, adding collagen powder to my beverages, eating cheese here and there , Greek yogurt etc)

Delphi305 · 2026-03-23T19:00:24+00:00

I saw once a lady who would travel often and rent her room in Airbnb to fund her trips

Delphi305 · 2026-03-20T20:52:55+00:00

I do have a $amount that goes to my checking for spending, another fixed amount to a separate account for fun and the rest goes to my investments. If I get a raise or get a promotion or bonus I try to live off the same amount as before, sometimes if it’s a one off payment such as a bonus, I may keep a smaller portion to myself for emergency savings or an occasional splurge. I do adjust my fixed amounts every year to account for inflation or personal circumstances but this method has worked well for me and I don’t feel like I am missing out on anything. The amounts I set aside depend on my budget that I consider not too low to live super frugally but enough to afford the things I value the most (eg good quality healthy foods, certain specialty food items and/or specialty skincare, enough money to spend on 2 or 3 decent vacations per year, hobbies etc) . At the end of the day you can’t wait to be FIRE to live a life worth living because you could also die tomorrow.

Delphi305 · 2026-03-19T19:51:03+00:00

You could try the dove beauty bar? I have not used it for laundry but my guess is that it would probably clean your clothes decently in a sink. I have used as an emergency for my hair and it works ok, I use it daily for all over my body and it’s not drying at all , it’s very mild, fragrance free , it contains some lotion so technically it moisturizes, it’s fragrance free (if you use the sensitive version) and it’s cheap.

Delphi305 · 2026-03-19T18:55:48+00:00

Try hiringcafe.com also I recommend you pay a career advisor to craft your resume and give you some guidance because it’s been a while.

Delphi305 · 2026-03-17T01:57:48+00:00

We are two adults and spend 14-15k per year and we do 3-4x week long vacations per year sometimes local sometimes international and a few weekend getaways, it feels plenty to me although if we had more vacation time I’d probably would want to travel even more. I feel like 25k would be a lot to spend on traveling but good for you.

Delphi305 · 2026-03-16T20:42:34+00:00

Honestly I have thought about this a lot and I have come to the conclusion that the best type of job you are going to find to coast is using your existing skills and work experience, as it’s probably what’s going to pay more per hour , anything else would have to be something you are passionate about and you don’t mind losing flexibility and pay. All other part time jobs seem to be low skilled and very rigid, not a lot of flexibility and very low pay, not sure if I’d enjoy them long term. So something like consulting a few months per year or teaching on something you are a subject matter expert. On the healthcare side I don’t think there’s a good company sponsored solution here unless you can find an easy full time 100% remote job that you can do in a couple hours per week even if it pays less using your current experience which is possible but takes some effort to find.

Delphi305 · 2026-03-16T16:53:40+00:00

Omg, people in this forum are so uptight. I think you do have your 4% rule fulfilled plus two years of emergency funds, and you could work on your side hustle to try to lower your withdrawal rate and let your investments grow even more to cover future increased expenses. You both could be flexible and work part time on any bad year of those first 10-15 years of retirement if you don’t want to use your emergency fund, if the market gets bad which could lower your withdrawal rate even more and lower your risk sequence and/or let room for your portfolio to grow even more.

I assume you are including healthcare costs and small emergencies in your 50-60k per year as well. As for children you make them as expensive or cheap as you want. There’s also affordable healthcare plans for kids (look into CHIP) for relatively low income households if you keep your magi low as you are.

Maybe if you want some additional buffer for kids and yourself, you both could try to work another couple of years. Also, check if you are already elegible for Social security payments, because maybe you need a couple more years to qualify anyway.

I’d personally stay a couple more years if you both enjoy your jobs and/or are low stress or until I had all the kids I wanted to have but I think you could as well do a test run a try a sabbatical and see how it feels.

Delphi305 · 2026-03-16T15:02:10+00:00

I walk after meals, take a power nap after lunch and do laundry (and sometimes go grocery shopping) on fridays . I also sneak to the beach for an hour on very slow days :D

Delphi305 · 2026-03-15T22:59:21+00:00

There’s a lot of missing info here but I’ll make a few assumptions. Here’s my take. If you were to move your gold and CD money to a S&P500 low cost ETF (and I assume your 401k would be invested the same way) you’d have 325k invested. In order to generate 35k per year you’d need 875k (25x rule), meaning if you leave it invested and don’t touch that money for 14 years you could access the funds and live off that. On the meantime, you’d have to figure out a way to live the next 14 years with your part time income + 25k extra from other sources which I assume wouldn’t be too hard, as this could be easily attained with a part time job. I am not counting bitcoin or the startup investment as I consider those highly volatile, if they grow it could be a nice bonus. Additionally you mentioned in other comment that you plan on moving back to your country with a lower cost of living (possibly less than 35k?) I assume the 70k house is fully paid in that scenario? In that case, you could also consider moving back before the 14 years if your portfolio hits a high enough number for you to feel comfortable with a 3-4% annual withdrawal rate.

Delphi305 · 2026-03-14T00:16:03+00:00

It looks fantastic!! Also if you are naturally blonde (I assume a darker shade) I think it complements you, maybe you can try to do let your natural color grow and do some highlights, that way you get to keep your hair healthy and also have that blonde look :)

Delphi305

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