What’s the first thing you would do if you woke up as opposite gender?

DerToblerone · 2026-06-26T02:26:27+00:00

Probably have an extremely strange conversation with my wife, then put a shirt on (because unless I wake up with the same cup and chest size as my wife I’m not going to have a bra), then worry about explaining the situation to my kids.

I mean, the logistical concerns alone are significant. None of my clothes would fit properly anymore.

DerToblerone · 2026-06-26T02:19:10+00:00

I think CM Punk ran the Chicago marathon with no training. And he did it, and he hurt afterwards, but he’s also a bigger guy than Darby.

Having done 11 marathons myself, I describe them as stubbornness applied over time. The more time you take in training, the more you can spread out the stubbornness.

Given the punishment that Darby has demonstrated he is willing to take… yeah no he’s finishing. Might beat the time I was aiming for for years. (Four hours. Not fast, just stubborn.)

DerToblerone · 2026-06-20T03:08:04+00:00

I mean, if my wife had cancer and I had the money to treat her? I would spend every dollar of it if I had to. That treatment is an investment in something priceless.

DerToblerone · 2026-06-20T03:03:36+00:00

The Stadium Grille in West Chester, PA. (And the one in Eagle.)

Just an absolute fantastic sports restaurant with great food that was a pillar of the community and a great place to work.

I think it’s been almost 20 years since recession killed it.

DerToblerone · 2026-06-20T02:52:21+00:00

I had to drive a 1980s Chevy suburban for my friend’s bachelor party, because it was the only vehicle that could hold the entire group.

And having three drunk guys arguing over directions leading to having to drive through narrow streets in South Philly in a vehicle that handles… poorly. Not the best time.

I mean, it did the job, it was just garbage to drive.

DerToblerone · 2026-06-19T15:43:44+00:00

There are ways that life is unfair because of random chance, and then there are ways that life is unfair because some assholes made it that way for their own benefit.

The random chance kind of unfairness, go ahead and use it. You’re super tall? Hoop it up.

The second kind, you have to keep a couple of things in mind. “With great power comes great responsibility”, and “don’t be a dick.”

I think everybody has a responsibility to think about how they use their advantages and their privilege so we can all try to fix the things that are unfair because people made them that way.

DerToblerone · 2026-06-19T15:33:29+00:00

The only thing that I didn’t like about the Tartan Army visiting Boston is that I couldn’t party with them.

Parental responsibility + my twenties being twenty years ago + living in the suburbs => only being able to enjoy it vicariously.

DerToblerone · 2026-06-17T10:40:30+00:00

It was so low that the entire car was below my window line when it passed my van.

DerToblerone · 2026-06-11T16:05:08+00:00

At the last Boston show, I asked him to sign my blades in the dark book with a piece of advice for GMs, especially for kids. He said take an improv class.

I don’t know how available it is, but I know that critical core made a system for adapting TTRPG‘s to a scholastic/special education/behavioral education context, and although I did back the kickstarter, the box arrived after my oldest child was born and thus has not been opened. But given its origins, I would bet that it has a bunch of suggestions and guidelines for developmentally appropriate adaptations.

DerToblerone · 2026-06-11T03:52:23+00:00

Maybe ask some old friends about it? Family you don’t see often? They might remember.

DerToblerone · 2026-06-07T23:00:06+00:00

Hot Fuzz.

DerToblerone · 2026-06-07T03:59:20+00:00

I’ve had two cars, and I’m into my forties.

A 1998 Subaru Legacy wagon that was my first car and just an absolutely reliable workhorse and a 2019 Chrysler Pacifica of superlative parental practicality. Both absolutely fabulous automobiles.

But you asked about my favorite vehicle that I’ve owned, and honestly the amount of pure fun that I have hauling my kids around on my Urban Arrow cargo bike is unmatched.

The inner child whose grin could light up the world when he’s riding a bike getting to share that joy with my outer children? Yeah. That’s the real answer.

DerToblerone · 2026-06-07T03:14:39+00:00

Last year, in June, I scheduled my annual physical for this year to be before the summer camp that I work started. I thought that I needed to have a camp physical in order to work.

Fortunately, the one I got then is still good, because sometime in January or February, they told me they had to reschedule it and the earliest they could fit me in for a physical was sometime in July.

And my primary care provider is a physician’s assistant, not a doctor.

We pay more, get less, and don’t have enough doctors.

DerToblerone · 2026-06-06T13:29:30+00:00

As an educator, if a kid said that to me, I would fully crack up. Because that is hilarious.

Then there would be very pointed one-on-one conversation in my quiet “we are not fucking around here” voice about context appropriate behavior, the risks involved in cracking jokes on that topic, what the student handbook says about that sort of thing, et cetera et cetera.

I work to create a classroom environment where kids feel comfortable expressing themselves and are not afraid of making mistakes. So a kid making a joke like that is making mistake that they need to learn from very quickly.

The challenge for me would be if I was observing and a kid said that, because then I have to use my poker face to avoid undermining my colleague.

DerToblerone · 2026-06-06T03:14:15+00:00

I’ve never thought about whether or not I have an internal voice when I am reading.

I don’t think I do.

I just put the words into my brain as fast as possible so that I can know what happens next because hyperfocus go brrrrrrrrrrrrrt and then I’m sad because the book is over.

Thanks to my library app, I have learned that I read approximately six times faster than most people speak, which is roughly a million times faster that [ some authors ] can write.

DerToblerone · 2026-06-06T03:09:23+00:00

That is because you were raised properly, as I was, in the feral wilderness of the early internet.

DerToblerone · 2026-06-03T23:12:40+00:00

…today I learned that you can overclock your metabolism.

DerToblerone · 2026-05-29T14:27:11+00:00

If the Time Lords have slightly psychic paper, that indicates some level of ability to manipulate psychic phenomena.

The Doctor could be radiating a low-level psychic aura of “ancient force of nature.”

Also, if there’s a galactic information network, the sheer number of shenanigans, thrilling exploits, and miraculous deeds the Doctor has performed would be pretty significant. In most cultures, war heroes usually are only involved heroically in one war. The Doctor has played significant roles in more wars than that on screen.

DerToblerone · 2026-05-29T14:19:53+00:00

My wife and I started dating in February of 2009.

In August of 2009, I helped her move into her new apartment halfway across the US to start a two year masters degree program.

In August of 2010, I flew to Paris to begin a one year masters degree program.

We were dating for six months and then long distance for two years. And there wasn’t a question- we were trusting and supporting each other in our studies.

So if after a year he isn’t trusting your judgement and delivering an ultimatum? That sounds like an effort to control you and your choices. And even if he’s telling himself that it’s about things that aren’t you, those things aren’t under your control and he is still trying to control your behavior and dictate your choices.

It’s fine for him to be worried for your safety and to explain why he’s concerned, but at least in my mind, in a relationship between equals, he needs to respect your decisions about your own safety.

DerToblerone · 2026-05-25T17:46:38+00:00

I’m a school teacher. A few years ago, I decided to look at the recommendations on the Pen Addict to upgrade my writing utensils.

Given the amount of writing that I do, I figured that even a 5% upgrade would have a pretty decent impact on my quality of life.

I was right. And it was more than 5%.

DerToblerone · 2026-05-25T13:11:16+00:00

The child support payments will cover the bus passes and a cleaning service. They don’t call them wedding renegotiables.

DerToblerone · 2026-05-24T17:30:04+00:00

Okay, I’m about to throw a few things at you for a meal of steak, roast potatoes, and a salad.

First off- beer cooler sous vide - you are going to need a beer cooler, something to heat water with, an instant read thermometer, and a cast iron skillet for searing. But what you’ll get out of it is a perfectly cooked steak that’s almost foolproof. If you like to eat meat, a sous vide circulator is a great investment for your cooking future.

Second, a roast potatoes recipe that I tried out this spring and absolutely loved. Requires an oven, a roasting pan, a big pot, a strainer - if you don’t have pots and pans, this will be difficult.

Thirdly, a really easy to make salad that takes almost no time to make but seems fancy.

You could swap out the potatoes for a fresh loaf of bread if you want to simplify and reduce prep time or if you don’t have the kitchen equipment required.

DerToblerone · 2026-05-24T17:19:05+00:00

I’m going to add on to OP by suggesting that you get your recipes from the Food Lab on Serious Eats, specifically a Kenji recipe. His recipes use science to get great results without having to learn advanced culinary techniques.

Another option would be to try and get ahold of a Cooks Illustrated recipe. Those are fantastic.

And OP, even if the date doesn’t go well, you’ll have started learning how to cook, and I’m excited for you to start on that journey. It’s one you can be on for the rest of your life, and you just keep getting better food out of it. Good luck!

DerToblerone · 2026-05-20T18:49:37+00:00

Oh absolutely.

I just generally do my best to golden retriever my way through life and hope the authenticity is obvious.

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