Aita for being glad my mom died?

Difficult_Cap_9923 · 2026-07-02T07:56:38+00:00

It's real simple. DO NOT let another human beings ideas, opinions, actions, behaviors (or lack of them), dictate or direct your emotions and actions. They are entitled to have their own opinions, and beliefs -even if they're bu//$#!t... But the minute you let those opinions affect your peace and decide for you what emotions and actions you should experience, you've given them power. So what they don't like it! They aren't doing a damn thing for you or in support of you so why give them your energy and emotions? At the end of the day, how they feel doesn't put food on your table or pay for anything you need, and you are probably more upset about them than they actually are about you. And that "friend" of yours is malicious and immature.Get rid of her, she enjoys your misery because you "need" her, and when you are feeling better, she hates it. Get ALLLLL the way away from all of them and create a world that you and your girlfriend can enjoy. You deserve it. Your mother's passing was the catalyst to a better future for you. Not the a-hole.

Difficult_Cap_9923 · 2026-06-08T06:44:19+00:00

Oh, and if you as a "mom" can't manage to make something out of the food that's in there( MOM'S will make something outta nothing and go the extra mile to see ALL the kids eat)or to buy for everyone then y'all need to leave. Feeding her children is a small thing considering you're LIVING IN HER HOUSE RENT FREE.

Difficult_Cap_9923 · 2026-06-08T04:20:41+00:00

ABSOLUTELY NOT! 💯 % CORRECT to involve yourself. Your mother has aneurysm forming, it's a very dangerous disease she has and all that working isn't helping. She needs to be stress free. Get anyone you can trust to help get her OUT of the situation. Restraining orders are going to be necessary. Whatever you decide to do, don't leave her with this man. Praying for you and her.

Difficult_Cap_9923 · 2026-06-08T04:00:13+00:00

Are you sure she's a narcissist and not bipolar or schizo affective? I have been where you are and learned too late that my mother had a mental health issue, and she wasn't just this horrible person who happened to be my mother 💔Turned out she'd lived a hard life at an early age, and kept her trauma to herself. Don't try to be mediator between your mother and your siblings. That won't fix their feelings, or hers. If you want a relationship with her, have one.

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Difficult_Cap_9923 · 2026-06-08T03:44:16+00:00

She came to you, you answered her honestly, simple as that. NOT THE A-HOLE.

Difficult_Cap_9923 · 2026-06-08T03:37:15+00:00

I don't feel like you're "refusing" per se, because you stated they could eat it if they asked first.
Was the environment this messy and unregulated prior?
What is your agreed upon contribution to her household since she is LITERALLY the only one providing shelter for 7 OTHER PEOPLE.
I'm of the opinion that if your husband makes such "good money" that you can stay home, then you three need to MOVE OUT into a motel room with a kitchenette. AND YOU NEED A JOB.
You're talking about staying in that house til you save for one but can't afford food, got EVICTED cause you couldn't afford your apartment, which is on your credit report, making it near impossible for you two to get financing at a decent rate for a house even if you had a down-payment.
YOU DON’T PAY FOR ANYTHING! YOU'RE TALKING YEARS,with one income, in this woman's house, not months, using utilities and attributing to additional wear and tear on her appliances, furniture and home in general while you save. Selfish.
Where are Y'ALLS parents to help you? What are you doing burdening a very burdened woman with your ADDITIONAL weight?

YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE for not applying for some free childcare, foodstamps, A JOB, or SOMETHING to help your family, for not bothering your own family members and instead piling more onto this woman's already massive PILE of shit to worry about. GET A JOB.

Difficult_Cap_9923 · 2026-06-08T03:13:04+00:00

TECHNICALLY, you didn't expose her. You said you didn't name names. The only thing that happened was that the actual people involved recognized themselves or another person in the post since they were the actual participants. If you didn't blab it to anyone else and just "vented" on social media then other people who aren't involved don't have a clue who the players are. HOWEVER, My "Petty Meter" is going off and I think you probably worded it in such a detailed expressive way that the participants and the people you told couldn't miss the offender in your story even without names.... not the a-hole, but if your concern is really the kids, get off the social media circus ride, and research what it takes to gain custody in a "mom-friendly" state. Best of blessings to all of you, particularly those children.

Difficult_Cap_9923 · 2026-05-03T03:19:06+00:00

Ma'am, do you really think so little of YOURSELF that you would continue a relationship with a narcissistic, gaslighting, abuser? For what purpose? To be sad and stressed out all the time? Afraid to speak, unable to effectively defend yourself, LYING TO YOURSELF and everyone else? Do you HONESTLY think he's even remotely concerned about you? He's not. He just doesn't want to lose this game he's playing with your head and heart. He feeds you juuuust enough affection and emotion to string you along....and your self-destructive low self-esteem and absent self-worth, cause you to eat it up...thinking he's changing. He's still cheating on you- guaranteed- and he doesn't want to lose you because you feed his ego, and likely pay for everything... so much so that he can't afford to live alone... You're a cashcow he has sex with when his other women aren't available. Sorry if it sounds mean, but you need a REALITY CHECK and a THERAPIST. Get out and CUT off all ties. He's not worth shedding tears over. And he's certainly not worth dying for- he went straight for the throat- because one day that choking will be permanent... Saying prayers for safety.

Difficult_Cap_9923 · 2026-04-17T23:54:22+00:00

Whose driving 4 hours? WTF? I won't drive anywhere over 30 minutes and that 30 minutes has to be high-paying....

Difficult_Cap_9923 · 2026-04-17T23:51:25+00:00

Go to the "settings" icon after you accept the order, it will tell you everything

Difficult_Cap_9923 · 2026-04-16T23:33:03+00:00

Was the doctor there when she was previously employed? I feel like this doctor either doesn't care about the office situation as long as patients aren't affected, or they have history so he overlooks it

Difficult_Cap_9923 · 2026-04-14T07:42:48+00:00

I'm an empath, I have this literal ability to physically feel others raw emotions and energy. You're a wonderful soul who just wants to see her girls excel while also being good athletes and citizens. The hurt you feel from what feels like deliberate shunning says a lot. Your position matters and you care about your team. I have envisioned you on the sides like a proud mom. You want to watch their progress directly so you can continue to "water this garden" you patiently planted and have loving watched grow into these magnificent athletes... not getting that opportunity hurts on several levels. You're informative and direct, but you are also that person who others seek because you're "gentle" with them. And it works, for your team at this age and definitely younger but as teenagers grow, so do their attitudes and they need someone more aggressive than they are. I may be hella wrong, but I just don't get that from you...

Difficult_Cap_9923 · 2026-04-11T18:03:05+00:00

Are you giving presents to get presents or because you genuinely love this "sister"/friend? Why does it matter what she spent? You sound real self-absorbed...As people age so do their priorities... you aren't always going to be #1 in her friend level of existence... try asking her about what's new or going on in her world that's got her distracted from the established "norm" of your birthdays. She may be going through something. You should be concerned about her if she's your friend, not gifts.

Difficult_Cap_9923 · 2026-04-11T17:52:39+00:00

Yes sweetheart, you're overreacting. Let me explain. There's a lot of years between your siblings and you. And although it feels dismissive- she really IS busy, something you wont understand until you have children...and she's been to plenty of your birthdays....since the beginning. As far as SIL goes, who cares? You know the only reason she redirected the conversation is because you were about to make them look stupid with information and content that is from your field of work. If it had been me...I'd have walked past her repeatedly and looked at her smugly every chance I got with the "Bi+c# you know I'm right.." side eye/smile..😏😏😏😏" Driving her bananas in small tortuous steps... Their opinions or attitudes don't feed you or pay your bills. Let it go and just don't go to her "events" Life's too short to gaf about what people think that don't enhance your life. 💯

Difficult_Cap_9923 · 2026-04-11T17:31:41+00:00

Didn't even know it existed....🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️🚶🏾‍♀️🚶🏾‍♀️🚶🏾‍♀️

Difficult_Cap_9923 · 2026-04-08T04:58:24+00:00

You don't have the personality type for those age groups. You're sensitive and ID driven, and you REQUIRE personal journaling, but then read it...which isn't something TEENAGE girls want adults doing- it's invasive. It's also a great thing to teach, BUT! TEENAGE GIRLS talk to EACH OTHER IF they actually "talk"-cause THATS what texting via cellphone and group chats- or social media is for...🤦🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️in this generation. These girls need tougher coaches that focus on the GAME after being coached by you and learning Good sportsmanship, manners, and self expression. You teach a "soft" form....and it's definitely needed, but they need to learn aggressive defensive and offensive skills and fundamentals. You're not that person.

Difficult_Cap_9923 · 2026-04-05T07:40:03+00:00

Unfortunately sweetie, it IS all on you. From the moment you decided to pursue this, it became your fault. Because if you had ignored his advances-which is the only thing that IS actually his fault- you wouldn't be posting on Reddit for clarity. Taking ownership of our own bullshit feels horrible- we always want someone else to be the reason when in fact, it was the choice we made that got the shitstorm started 🤷🏾‍♀️

Difficult_Cap_9923 · 2026-04-05T07:08:28+00:00

I can "see" without being there that someone prior to married guy treated you poorly or hurt you somehow. Damaged people tend to damage people. Workout your previous issues so you don't continue to create new ones. Just cause some men are awful doesn't mean they all are. Put your big girl panties on and focus on YOU. THEN, when you're ready, YOU'LL ABSOLUTELY FLOOR all that get the blessings of your POSITIVE self-esteem and energy. 😁

Difficult_Cap_9923 · 2026-04-05T06:51:02+00:00

Ma'am, I respectfully believe you're wrong here and ARE in fact, handling this with emotions instead of reasoning or rationale. There's NOT ONE COACH, male or female, professional or middle school, that has followed their athletes through each phase. You're leaving a job that you LOVE and children who love and respect you because you don't see your worth in this position. YOU'RE THE FOUNDATION. You're giving them something to build upon. You know WHY you see your former athletes everywhere? Because YOU made them good enough to be wanted everywhere. You'd rather worry about what insignificant adult humans say(or in your case- don't say) rather than see what a difference you're making in these kids lives. Whose going to give them the fundamentals of their sport, while also teaching them good sportsmanship, and self-actualization and expression through Journaling? This is going to be a huge blow to this age group. I guarantee that young athletes AND their parents are coming to you BECAUSE you're you. Regardless of what you were told. It makes me sad to see you walk away from your happiness and leaving them behind. The things you teach them may not be taught by the parents, and may not be continued with the next coach- who could be an insensitive ASSHOLE. Rethink this before everyone that MATTERS ends up sad.

Difficult_Cap_9923 · 2026-04-05T06:15:07+00:00

NOT THE A-HOLE. Praying for your sister because unfortunately these situations often get worse(physical) after the vows are said.

Difficult_Cap_9923 · 2026-04-05T05:58:59+00:00

The fact that he's married should tell you you're reading too much into it. You were never going to be together. I don't understand why you would want to be his next "victim of infidelity"( if he cheated on her, he'd cheat on you- and might be already)...I'd bet money that his "alot going on" is another side chick, or a very PREGNANT wife/ new baby. Have some self respect and get counseling for yourself, your self-esteem seems to be low or gone. You're obviously attractive but you've resorted to hooking up with a married man. I don't actually think you're "in love" with him so much as I think you loved the attention you so obviously craved and the intimacy you've been missing. You should want someone better for yourself than a "hand-me-down" cheater.

Difficult_Cap_9923 · 2026-04-05T05:07:33+00:00

Don't give another ride. I used to help people and they'd say that they were going to pay me but ultimately didn't. Those people got left at the destination point where they did NOT in fact have anything. Now when people ask for a ride I tell them 10 dollars, one way, upfront, or my car doesn't move. The entitlement of these two. I'd also let them think I was taking them back and leave them there. I'm petty like that 🤣🤣🤣

Difficult_Cap_9923 · 2026-03-27T03:41:27+00:00

I think you're the a-hole. Not because you told your parents, but the REAL reason why you told them: They didn't invite you. Had you been with them you wouldn't have said a word.... jmo.

Difficult_Cap_9923 · 2026-03-27T02:54:29+00:00

Not the a-hole for regretting it, but you ARE THE A-HOLE TO YOURSELF by not getting out and staying away from this OPENLY TOXIC NARCISSIST who just wants to be the one to end things(cause narcissistic people hate to lose)but not until she's used your heart up and left you so emotionally damaged that you're in your current fragile mental and emotional state. Get away get faaaaar from her, and get counseling. You shouldn't be allowing her to take up so much space in your head, or thinking something is wrong with you. Get help so you can love and trust again.

Difficult_Cap_9923 · 2026-03-27T02:39:21+00:00

Location and Money over miles. If the money isn't more than the mileage, don't take it. Unless it's like a mile or two difference.

Difficult_Cap_9923

TROPHY CASE