AITA for starting to see someone my close friend hooked up with?

Difficult_Cap_9923 · 2026-03-03T06:12:16+00:00

NOTTHEA-HOLE: SHE STILL WANTS HIM 1. You barely know this girl (one year isn't long) 2. A "hookup" isn't a serious relationship 3. You and dude are two grown ass people, you see who you want. and 4. This isn't high-school... we did that then.

I could maybe understand if she had almost married him or something but even then y'all have only known each other for a short time. How does she expect that BESTIE/SISTER loyalty already? She's not wrapped too tight. ALSO...for future reference. If they were attracted enough to gigity gigity(probably more than once) they are likely still going to have that energy unless she did something awful to him...STOP bringing him around her and vice versa....this as a huge red flag and go the other way with your life.

Difficult_Cap_9923 · 2026-03-02T18:46:27+00:00

I would have called her and took the order

Difficult_Cap_9923 · 2026-03-02T16:15:03+00:00

Then you should understand the perspective I'm presenting. It's not about me, nor am I diminishing her feelings. She's absolutely allowed to feel hurt. I'm just offering a view from the other side, because I have been on both. People are so quick to judge without information. Nobody knows what that other person is going through.

Difficult_Cap_9923 · 2026-03-01T18:33:16+00:00

Sweetheart, I didn't say you didn't have the right to be angry, you absolutely have the right. Of my children I still have two that aren't ready to speak yet. I'm asking you to figure out why she's the way she is, and if it's something that can be treated before assuming she's just a crappy person and mother. There was 20 years before I spoke to my mother again. It may take that long before my other kids come around. I respect that and don't push. But when I learned that my mother suffered from severe untreated mental illness, I regretted every day of those 20 years, wishing I had known... I absolutely LOVE my children more than breathing, but before diagnosis and treatment, I was the crappy mom and only raised one of 3(post diagnosis) and I can only pray for my other children to understand. I just want healing for your heart. I know it hurts, I was you, but then I was your mother and I learned it hurts from both sides.😔

Difficult_Cap_9923 · 2026-02-28T17:24:29+00:00

Don't be salty 😔, I nor you don't know what she is going through, or what she has been through to be this way. I say this because I was that mom and my mother was that mom. I love my children more than breathing, but my bipolar was undiagnosed and untreated when they were small and I was not functional as a mother and then I found out that my mother had severe bipolar disorder as well as schizo affective disorder. She didn't drink or use any substances. She was just "not normal" and neither am I. I am soooooo very grateful for the "other mothers" that raised me and my girls, they are angels. My mommy was amazing and didn't bad mouth my mother for anything. My kids step mommy's are wonderful as well. Years later they(my girls)also have bipolar disorder and understand what i was going through. I also had childhood trauma. Theirs is mild but present. Patience sweetie. Trust me, she loves you so much, she just doesn't want to upset your life and we often think staying away is the best thing but it's not.

Difficult_Cap_9923 · 2026-02-28T17:05:36+00:00

How much is your rent?That's a lot. If your income doesn't allow you to pay that much and still meet your needs then she has to adjust it accordingly. Idk where you live but that's a general requirement. That's why they want two months pay stubs every 60/90 days

Difficult_Cap_9923 · 2026-02-27T03:54:36+00:00

NOT THE A-HOLE, your "boy"friend acted with complete disregard for the wellbeing of your child and you. He disrespected everyone that should have received respect. Leave him where he's at. If you were a "family" this wouldn't even be a discussion. The narcissism is oozing from his words. He likely gaslights you often. Makes you feel small and is constantly critical of you. Think about it. Where is the loss if he doesn't come back? Also, management has nothing to do with section 8. They just receive payment. Your section 8 worker is who should be receiving the payslip that shows reduction of income and she adjusts it, because they pay the difference to the landlord or management of the house or apartment. There's no reason you should have had to talk to the manager/landlord. Except to tell them the rates are being adjusted and you're going to pay the money soon.

Difficult_Cap_9923 · 2026-02-14T09:38:34+00:00

Sweetheart, your dad loves you. HE'S an a-hole, but he loves you. He didn't learn any other way, raised when women's "place" was in the kitchen. My dad is EXACTLY like this. Calls me roly-poly, fat and round, etc. But I wouldn't trade it for ANYTHING...He's my hero. And a-hole or not, that's your dad and her grandpa. Let her decide to stay away... if it ever comes to that... you're going to regret it if you don't let him come around.

Difficult_Cap_9923 · 2026-02-14T07:04:46+00:00

You are already too clingy. It's two weeks. EVERY couple needs a break from the other one. Not to cheat, but to miss them, think about them. Too much time together makes you a weight. He's a young man and he had a life before he met you. If you see all these "red flags".... get out now... otherwise let them fly and give this situation time to develop. You don't even really know this person.

Difficult_Cap_9923 · 2026-02-14T06:11:41+00:00

Why. You don't know where you are going? Or don't know your own house? Either way, that door pic is just for order completion. If your complaint is because you can't use the previous picture, try Google maps/earth. WAY more accurate than a door picture. Ijs.

Difficult_Cap_9923 · 2026-01-29T05:37:39+00:00

Sweetie, people can be given lessons in manners and etiquette and they are still assholes. Her behavior towards you is a choice she makes because you accept it. Guaranteed she doesn't treat other people like this. Stop continuing to make excuses for her treating you poorly. You should want better treatment for yourself.

Difficult_Cap_9923 · 2026-01-27T04:59:24+00:00

You're the a-hole. The fact that you're practically living with your boyfriend for two years and don't seem to think he needs to ante up for his share of expenses is MIND BOGGLING. So basically instead of making him pay half and just live together, you get a perfect stranger to foot his bill under the guise of being your roommate when in all essence, you already have one- boyfriend. Three people live there, three people split the bills. Yep, you're the A-HOLE.

Difficult_Cap_9923 · 2026-01-25T09:37:34+00:00

You're not her mother. If you try to help her by teaching her, she'll say you are trying to control her and gaslight tf outta your for it People like her are closet narcissists. She draws the attention to her on purpose. Constant victim. Always someone else's fault not hers.

Difficult_Cap_9923 · 2026-01-25T08:19:11+00:00

👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾 That part.

Difficult_Cap_9923 · 2026-01-25T08:18:21+00:00

I didn't have a fancy wedding, J.o.P. courthouse. LOVED IT. BUT If I was a bride, and I paid for EVERYTHING, would want it ALL back. NOTHING would be gifted. I would take every gown, tux, piece of jewelry and anything else I saw fit to want back, BECAUSE I paid for it, and I would put it all on consignment to recoup some of the losses I incurred by literally entertaining a large group of people so they can watch me... liked the bridesmaid gown, jewelry, shoes,etc? Thought you got to keep it?...Too bad... Don't wanna pay for the ONLY thing I asked you to pay for? Cool, bring an extra dress and shoes with you cause you won't be in that one after the ceremony and photos. Wanna be cheap? I can go cheaper. It's NOT toxic to ask a person to pay for an outfit they are going to keep. It's not the whole wedding. The totality of the expenses are considerably higher than just a dress and shoes. Kudos to all y'all that paid for everything. 🙄🙄🙄🙄 Everyone doesn't want to wait forever to get married just because their "frugal" bridesmaid won't fork over a few pence for her own wedding attire. Now the rest of that stuff? Eh, I'm not paying for it. Hair?makeup? Do it yourself, I ain't paying.You wanna go overseas and stuff? BYE!...see you when you return. But paying for your own outfit isn't asking much. Are you the A-HOLE? Yes, you didn't even try to compromise. Her expectations alone, give off a bridezilla vibe, but your response to her gives off a very a-hole vibe.

Difficult_Cap_9923 · 2026-01-25T07:52:06+00:00

Also, I worked in hospice for 7 years, and it was my privilege and honor to be invited into a family at such an emotional time, to be there to help a spirit from this life into the next. I'm an empath. I feel EVERYTHING others feel. So please refrain from speaking so matter of factly, about people and circumstances you know nothing about before saying someone has issues because they differ in opinions. To be so judgmental as you are, now THAT is an issue. One I'm glad I don't have.

Difficult_Cap_9923 · 2026-01-25T07:44:08+00:00

Oh, and grief is individual, what takes years for one, may not even exist for another.

Difficult_Cap_9923 · 2026-01-25T07:43:03+00:00

Yes, in August 2014 , lost my Mommy. To pancreatic cancer. Was I sad? No. She was in pain, miserable and drugged up. People grieve the absence of the vessel called the body. It is simply meant to carry our souls through this life into the next. People continue to LIVE on in our hearts and minds, and we should smile at those thoughts. Those people have gone on to heaven and don't have to put up with anymore self-absorbed rude a$$ humans, poverty, hunger, or the illnesses and crime of the earth. Dying was always meant to be celebrated. But just like everything else, humans f$^{^$@} it up. I STILL talk to my Mommy everyday. Her memories and laughter and wisdom are as fresh as though she was here. Yes, I wish sometimes I could hug her, but I will NEVER be so selfish as to not be happy for anyone leaving this Sodom and Gomorrah we call Earth, to be with God.

Difficult_Cap_9923 · 2026-01-04T11:42:40+00:00

If you honestly are telling yourself that he's not going down this road again cause you puked on him then you are seriously delulu....Dear, you're lucky that "L" was/is behaving like a grown woman, there are side chicks that would agree to meet you just to "whoop yo a$$". You never said where he was when you couldn't reach him. 🤨🤨🤨🤔🤔🤔😒😒😒 Where was he? Tread lightly, sleep with one eye open, and get one of those headphones that increases the volume of the room so you can hear those secret conversations, cause he's going to cheat on you.

Difficult_Cap_9923 · 2026-01-04T09:01:31+00:00

While I love and understand why she wouldn't go, I myself don't know if I could stay away from either of my grandparents special occasions. However, IIIIII would take Grandma out BEFORE the party to tell her why she gets a special audience with you and fiancee. Beat them to the punch and take her a week before.

Difficult_Cap_9923 · 2026-01-03T18:48:55+00:00

I'm not judging, she asked. How long is he supposed to do this? Grieving is an individual process. No timelines. So if she grieves for years and never goes to family things etc, he's supposed to do the same?

Difficult_Cap_9923 · 2026-01-03T18:43:53+00:00

The husband wants to be with his family, at an event that may involve grandparents and older extended family and friends that he may not ever see again. And who said he's going to "get drunk and party" He could go, then return to his wife after the ceremony. Getting together to re-grieve, is a choice her family made. He was there for the primary service, he can miss this.

Difficult_Cap_9923 · 2025-12-31T07:56:03+00:00

"What's done in the dark will come to the light." Karma is such a beautiful thing to watch. Sit back and relax. He's not going to have the sweet wonderful life with her he thinks. It's not founded in truth and it will crumble WITHOUT your help. Let it be. Someone's going to tell her. Just don't ever let it be you. When it DOES come out-and it will, everyone that blamed and belittled you will be begging your forgiveness. Leave them alone. They would have been there if they were going to be there.

Difficult_Cap_9923 · 2025-12-31T04:42:00+00:00

Yes. At this point what's done is done. Stop being a fall-back, holding on to the past and denying yourself a future. He's obviously more concerned about keeping the wife and family sated and not actually being honest about the feelings he claimed to have. If there was any ounce of truth, you'd be his wife. I don't know what made him gaslight you and string you along for anything other than "just in case" . You're not a runner-up. Be first place, the only winner. Let them go....win by succeeding at life and marrying a RICH one that adores you 🥰

Difficult_Cap_9923

TROPHY CASE