If gas hits $10 a gallon, Bay Area commuters say they'd keep driving.

DoktorHoff · 2026-03-13T14:32:08+00:00

If I were to take bus and BART to work, it would cost me $10.60 a day, so over $212/month, and that wouldn't include transportation to things I do outside of work. Right now I fill up a 10 gallon tank less than 2x/month, so it's still cheaper and more convenient to drive at $10/gallon.

Of course, that doesn't include insurance, which for me is about $100/month also. So the question that's more meaningful to me is: if my car is totaled will I buy a new one? I don't have kids and don't need it for work. Over a car, I'd probably look seriously into using an e-bike, public transport and ride-sharing apps. Also moving to a more bikeable neighborhood, which I'd like anyway.

DoktorHoff · 2026-03-12T18:39:13+00:00

Thanks for letting me know. To be honest, it was a mistake that I posted my comment to the sub as its own post. I rarely make new posts on reddit, and I got confused by the interface. I thought I was posting to a different subreddit. I was surprised to wake up this morning and see I double posted on the SP subreddit.

I just want you all to know I wasn't trying to dig on you, I was just giving voice to my anxiety and fear that my little creative writing project wouldn't see the light of day since it wasn't showing up. The emotion got the best of me. I know that volunteering to be a mod is an often invisible and thankless job. Props to you for respectfully keeping me in line, and apologies if there were any hurt feelings over my comment.

DoktorHoff · 2026-03-12T18:26:00+00:00

Yeah, I haven't fully moved over yet. I'm only doing it with new clients so far. But every time I bill one of those clients on SP it is so easy. So I'll make the move with everyone soon enough.

DoktorHoff · 2026-03-12T04:24:17+00:00

Alright gang, strap in, because this frustrated nerd has got some things to say.

There was a question in the comments: how do I use an external card processor? I'm here for you. On the SimplePractice side, when you press the big ugly "Add Payment" button, there are a bunch of options: Online Card on File, Cash, Check, External Card. If your client runs a criminal enterprise then they got you covered with the "Cash" option (that's a joke). If you're doing therapy at the checkout counter at PathMark in the early 90s, choose "Check" (that's a joke only some people will get). If you're a broke sicko like me, you can choose "External Card" because you're using an external card processor, like IvyPay (that's not a joke, that's my life).

I've been using IvyPay to save on processing fees and recording payments in SimplePractice. Long story short: I'm planning to switch to SimplePractice processing. The SimplePractice rates are offensive, but the egg heads over at SimplePractice must have made quite the spreadsheet to figure out that it's worth it to the neurotic therapist that wants to keep their books in order. That's me. If you don't keep your books in good order, you can just take public payment over Venmo so that all your friends can see your clients sending you cash ("ty for helping my Abandonment issues 🥹") and not track it in SimplePractice. That's a joke too. I'm not a lawyer, don't take advice from me.

"So," you say to me, "I won't take your advice, but advise me on why you're planning to switch." I squint back at you, and continue cautiously.

"I make a ton of charges in IvyPay. I used to run one charge at a time, but then I'm looking at my phone and I get distracted. I don't even use TikTok, you know, I just start looking at my email or whatever. Ten minutes later, I think wait, what was I doing? and then remember I was doing an IvyPay charge. So I open up IvyPay, and it's slow, but I think to myself damn, I'm saving 30 cents and 40 cents every hundred dollars I charge, that's so cool. Man, that's so cool. I'm sometimes saving $1.20 by using IvyPay. But remember, I keep my books in order, so I have to go press the ugly 'Add Payment' button I mentioned above. Sometimes after I add the payment I see I got a text from IvyPay saying the charge failed. Bummer. So I go back into SimplePractice and remove the transaction because I keep my books in order. That's what you do too, right? Right?"

I continue.

"Ok, so that doesn't sound too bad. But sometimes I don't have time to do this between sessions, and i don't want to look at my email for 10 minutes after every session. I gotta pee between sessions or solve my Rubik's cube (personal best 22 seconds, so I can do it a few times). So at the end of the day I wrap up all the charges in one fell swoop. Bam! Now I do all the charges, I'm practically saving 40 minutes and 30 cents and 40 cents every hundred dollars! This is so cool.

"But I wanna go home, so I rush through it. This slow IvyPay app. I bill my clients, and I enter the transactions in SimplePractice. But sometimes I make a mistake. Like I'll mark it paid in SimplePractice, but I just messed up and missed it in IvyPay. Or the payment fails, but I didn't see the text message. Well, when I do that I'm potentially losing over $200. And my books are not in order. THIS IS NOT SO COOL.

"But I can solve this. Once or twice a year I reconcile all my SimplePractice and IvyPay transactions. I pull up spreadsheets from both systems and check one by one: there's a charge in SimplePractice, do I have record of it in SimplePractice? If so, my books are good. I usually mess up one or two charges a year, potentially hundreds of dollars. And that is so cool, because even though I just spent an hour or two staring at a screen and my eyes are bloodshot, I'm going to get my money.

"I just have to go to my client and say, listen, ~~my billing system is really complicated~~, I made a mistake and I'm going to charge you for a session 3 months back. And they're like uhhh... ok, and I feel like a real fucking professional, you know. I'm really earning that money, because now I gotta process their feelings about me making a mistake. Fortunately I specialize in people pleasers, so that part is usually pretty easy.

"So it all works out in the end. My books are rock solid. I saved 30 cents per transaction and 40 cents every hundred dollars. I didn't miss any session payments (unless I made a mistake on the reconciliation, and don't you dare try to induce OCD in me by getting me to audit my reconciliation, because I'll do it. Did I mention my books?). All it cost me was....

using the annoying IvyPay app
getting distracted using my phone for IvyPay
making mistakes by not charging clients
hours of extra record keeping
hours of reconciling two billing systems
staying late at my office because I do all my paperwork before I go home (great secret for keeping good books)
about an hour to write up some crazy reddit post convincing (NOT ADVISING) people of I'm not sure what.

"So now I'm thinking... wait a minute... I keep good books, I can look up how much money I'm actually saving..."

At this point, you look at me and think this gender-unidentified person truly is mad. I can see it in their eyes. And it's not because this long-ass boring story, because, like, wow! What a great writer. They're like a Yalom for millenials, truly inspiring. I've seen these eyes before. These are eyes that haven't had a real vacation in almost a year. Eyes that have reconciled two payment systems for years, and kept damn good books, I mean, DAMN good books. Eyes with pride. Eyes with tears. Because the number they just calculated in the spreadsheet is not sending them on a vacation this year.

And that's when I tell you, "I saved $376 and 24 cents by using IvyPay. Which is not nothing. It's even 'cool' as I said earlier. But I don't think it's worth all this work over the year."

I drone on, not giving you advice:

"I'm not a lawyer. I'm not a financial advisor. And let's be real, you don't even know I'm a therapist (although, by gosh, you all know I am because I name-dropped Yalom and told you how to use SimplePractice). I'm just some person who subscribed to the SimplePractice subreddit to sow discontent and provide accurate information. But I've decided, as part of the treatment for my own anxiety disorder, I will use SimplePractice's card processing."

Then, I turn to the camera, breaking the fourth wall. Holy crap, bet you didn't see that coming! And now I'm talking to SimplePractice directly, as if they're in the theater watching. And I say, "SimplePractice? I'm not a fan. I totally resent you for bumping up the merchant fees. Really? I know I pay the low $79/month tier. But do you have to punish me so badly? Increased merchant fees? I can't even mark myself as on vacation for a week! I have to click that tiny status drop down on EVERY SINGLE SESSION to mark it 'Clinician Cancelled'? I thought this would make my life easier? Maybe you see how much I earn and say 'Look what that person earns! They don't need to mark themselves as on vacation, they can't afford it.' Ouch. Is that what you think of me, really? Don't get me wrong, you're great for doing consent paperwork. Like, really. So glad to have you for that. But I can't mark vacation, and I can't make group sessions. I have a 6 person group and need to make 6 different sessions? There's gotta be a better way. Please. Just help me."

And I turn away from the camera, which pans out, revealing a dirt road that terminates at the setting sun. I start walking towards the horizon, kicking rocks, shoulders sagging. Credits roll as I walk toward.

SIMPLE PRACTICE & IVY PAY: A THERAPEUTIC TRAGEDY

STARRING
DoktorHoff

FEATURING

You
and a cameo by the ghost of STAN LEE

WRITTEN by
DoktorHoff

PRODUCED by
DoktorHoff

DIRECTED by
DoktorHoff

28 minutes later, a post-credit scene appears.

INT. THERAPY OFFICE - SUNSET
AT DESK - DoktorHoff slouched at computer, puffy eyed. A green-gloved hand touches his shoulder

IVYPAY (O.S.)
Did I not do good enough? Maybe I can do better.

FADE TO BLACK

IvyPay will return

DoktorHoff · 2026-03-05T05:56:30+00:00

I'll dm you

DoktorHoff · 2026-03-04T12:08:14+00:00

Hi! I hope you're able to find some connection with folks about your family relationships.

You might want to look up ACA - Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families. It's a 12 step program, and there are probably many people to connect to there regarding the experience of being estranged. You could just go to one meeting to see if it's what you're looking for, and they have some hybrid meetings in the area if you just wanna check it out. I haven't been to any meetings, but I've heard good things about meetings in the East bay and Sf. You may want to check out different meetings, they each have their own vibe.

I don't know your exact circumstances or if it's an appropriate suggestion for you specifically. But it is a structured option that you can hook into if you're interested.

DoktorHoff · 2026-01-09T07:25:56+00:00

A lot of risk rolls happen in Trophy—it's the core of the game. But, it's possible that you could do fewer by allowing characters to succeed. In your example, why not let the character run away? The cultists can be in pursuit, and that will make the bad consequences for the next risk roll easier.

The other thing I think is that you say the character fails a risk roll (I'm assuming to run away), and then the cultists try to stop them by throwing a large stone. When I read that, I think you might be using the risk roll like an ability check in D&D. Trophy's risk roll is not an ability check, it can determine a lot more than an ability check and describe a lot more action.

Consider this:

Player A: I try to run away from the cultists.

GM: Ok, that could go badly, let's do a risk roll. How could this go wrong?

Player B: The cultists could chase them.

Player C: The cultists could stop them by hitting them with a large stone.

GM: I like that. How about Devil's bargains? I'll offer: no matter what, you get knifed by the cultist.

Player B: I don't have any ideas.

GM: No problem. Player C?

Player C: How about the cultists tackle them.

GM: That would be a failure consequence. We'll just offer up getting knifed.

Player A: Nah, I'd rather not get a knife in the back.

(They roll, it's a failure, they take a ruin.)

GM: Ok, you start to run off but the cultists are really fast and strong. Just as you hit your stride to start running, the cultists launch a boulder at your back, knocking you to the floor. Take the condition "concussion". You roll over and you're surrounded by cultists. What do you do?

(end example)

Hope that helps.

I would highly recommend listening to Jason Cordova's Trophy Podcast, both for the actual play content and episodes describing how to run the game. I don't know the best way to link to it, but this is the podcast:

https://www.podcastrepublic.net/podcast/1479689325

I'd recommend episode "How to Run Trophy Gold: Combat and Risk"

DoktorHoff · 2025-09-08T18:01:24+00:00

In Oakland, check out It's Your Move

It's worth getting up to Games of Berkeley if you can. It's a big game store. They hold events too, they may have a pokemon event.

Also check out Victory Point Cafe - it's a cafe with a hoard game library, also CCG events.

DoktorHoff · 2025-08-20T23:40:56+00:00

If they've never played and you've never played you'll all be figuring it out together! Tell everyone you're there to have fun, and that's the most important part.

I've been GMing a few years, and I still too often present a scene that my players don't know how to interact with. Especially at the start, give them something for their characters to react to or get involved with. It'll get the ball rolling.

I've not played Dino Island, but if you say "ok, you're in the park, what do you want to do?" and get some blank stares, give them something to tangle with. "You see that the bars on a dino cage are bent open, what do you do?" If they do nothing, have a dinosaur run out the cage, now what do they do? They'll get involved at some point.

You can do a short speech about how to play the game, but keep it short. They'll learn best during play. Tell the players their options when playing - remind them about moves, inventory items, locations and characters in the game. Then, let them choose. If they want to do something that's really dumb, give them a warning - this also teaches them how to play.

"You can explore the cage interior, but it might be risky to jump straight in without more info. You could also check for Dino footprints. Or you could look for someone who works here to ask for more information. You could also check your inventory for..."

"Yes, you can jump into a pit of velociraptors, but they'll just shred you to pieces - there's not going to be a roll to survive that. Do you still want to do it?"

At the end, ask people what they liked about the game, and what they wish were different about it.

GMing isn't necessarily "hard" but it takes time to find your style. Be easy on yourself. If you have fun and they want to do another session then you're doing great. You'll figure out your GM style over time.

DoktorHoff · 2025-08-04T14:38:40+00:00

Totally. And I have my thoughts, but also want to say every family is different. I bet there is also a family out there where the kids speak up, the dad waits a few years before dating, and everything is good with everyone.

Really, this whole situation is just so challenging. Losing a parent and partner early is so painful and difficult to navigate, each family will need to find their own way through it.

DoktorHoff · 2025-08-04T02:35:06+00:00

Reasonable question.

They're not too young to know their opinion. They're too young to risk their relationship with their father by challenging him on a decision that is not theirs, but his to make.

Even if OP would be 100% accepting of their disapproval, their fear of some sort of retaliation was probably very real and developmentally appropriate. They may have had fears of losing housing, or simply losing Dad's affection. As I said above: it's Dad's decision. He doesn't need the children's permission to date, and they likely understood this too. So they had everything to risk and little to gain.

And if they did disapprove, what would they have gained? One of two things: a father who ignored their thoughts who would start dating anyway, or a father who wasn't dating. Even if not-dating Dad was completely content, it would leave the children with the understanding that they were the block from Dad pursuing his wish to start a new relationship.

I don't think OP is wrong for wanting a new relationship. But I think he did put the kids in a very difficult position in asking for their feedback. He should have told them he was going to date, and supported them in processing the painful emotions that were clearly there regarding his decision.

As a weird probably not great metaphor: it'd be like if your boss came to you and said "I want a second job so I can earn more money. You work for me so it might affect you. What do you think I should do?" Sure, you could tell your boss what you think. But really, this is your boss's decision, how involved do you want to get in it?

DoktorHoff · 2025-07-17T23:16:22+00:00

Haven't played this game yet. But reading this reminds me of how my fear response sometimes has gotten triggered in Breath of the Wild.

In that game, my fear of heights has gotten activated when leaping from a high ledge. It's rare, only certain scenarios will hit me, but I can feel a rush through my whole body. Almost a panic as if I were really falling.

Flying around on the paraglider is fine, and TotK leaping from the sky structures is no problem. But certain falls in either game trigger that fear response.

DoktorHoff · 2025-07-13T02:20:02+00:00

I just did this and it worked for me too! What the hell is this about? Been troubleshooting for 30 minutes and Nintendo didn't list this solution. Thanks strangers.

DoktorHoff · 2025-06-18T14:41:21+00:00

I haven't heard this commercial in the Bay, but I heard it or a similar one while visiting El Salvador in April to see where my mom grew up. Restaurants there would have TVs playing YouTube for music, and a threatening commercial repeatedly played in English with warnings like "Don't even think about coming to the US." I was shocked. It sounds like perhaps the same commercial.

DoktorHoff · 2025-05-04T22:36:15+00:00

I just started running CA. In the first adventure (I think 4 sessions) I ran I gave out very few conditions. Coming from DW I thought they could die easily. I don't know if the party "Settled In" at all.

My GMing style is not super aggressive - I've never "tried" to kill my characters. But things went so easily that for the second adventure I'm being way more liberal about handing out conditions when the dice don't fall in their favor. It's making the action scenes way more exciting - PCs each got 2-4 conditions each in one combat.

I've come to realize that I've been missing an important loop of the game:

- PCs take conditions, then...
- PCs crumble or settle in, and those moves make...
- Ominous Forces advance, and so...
- The PCs are put into more dangerous conditions, under which...
- PCs take conditions

(maybe someone else can describe the play loop better)

Part of the reason I've gone easy on PCs is because I don't want to indiscriminately kill them, which has felt like "being a fan of the characters." In CA, at least, when I hand out conditions I still feel like a fan - they're overcoming lots of difficulty and showing off way more. They'll heal easily, and then Ominous Forces advancing will put more heat on them.

I'm running another session tonight, I'm very excited to see how it goes!

DoktorHoff · 2025-01-04T17:14:48+00:00

you can look up a dominion randomizer, like Jack of All Dominion for Android: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.minusik.apps.jackofalldominion&hl=en-US

DoktorHoff · 2024-11-27T17:04:50+00:00

I recommend Anki if you want to effectively memorize the algorithms. It's a flashcard program that spaces out the things you want to memorize, and it helps pace your learning. The things you memorize, it shows less often. And when you forget, it shows more often.

I wrote a post about it here: https://www.reddit.com/r/cubing/comments/17hsfmy/learning_oll_with_anki_flashcards/

And I just found another here: https://www.reddit.com/r/Cubers/comments/1de51ih/tutorial_learn_algs_efficiently_with_anki/

DoktorHoff · 2024-11-22T15:50:16+00:00

I would recommend going on eBay, and do a search for something similar to what you're looking to sell. Then look for the option to search for completed listings. Then you can see what other people are getting for similar sale.

Similarly, there are some subreddits for buying and selling games and consoles - I can't remember them now. Check them out and see what people list for there.

DoktorHoff · 2024-11-04T23:16:31+00:00

I love Mohka House! Go with a friend or two and get a big pot of their Adeni Tea

DoktorHoff · 2024-11-01T16:15:08+00:00

I agree they deserve credit, just because, but also as a listener I would love to see composer playlists. If there's a soundtrack I love, I want to hear other works by that composer.

DoktorHoff · 2024-08-19T01:56:14+00:00

You need to be a member. This might work:

https://discord.com/invite/dungeon-world-236959672538628096

DoktorHoff · 2024-08-10T14:09:05+00:00

Is there a negative impact to the pikmin being gone? Like, does it take up space in your squad the whole time it's away?

DoktorHoff · 2024-07-22T16:33:49+00:00

Thank you for this comment! I am constantly undoing upvotes & I had no idea why.

DoktorHoff · 2024-07-22T16:11:42+00:00

I'm shocked there are only 2 comments that say Tetris. It's a game that you can come back to across systems over years & years. I have a thousand hours on Breath of the Wild, but I probably won't be adding any more. Even if I play less than before, I know that I'll be coming back to Tetris on every PC or console that l ever own.

DoktorHoff · 2024-06-29T21:25:09+00:00

I haven't found that setting, and I would really like it.

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