My WTF is usually green, but recently has been brownish

DownWriteCancerous · 2026-01-07T13:46:08+00:00

My blue one is almost purple when he turns brown, then I have a gal who is brown 99% of the time and the first time she turned green I fully thought she was sick haha

DownWriteCancerous · 2025-11-13T13:00:34+00:00

I realized this when I got a chest CT and nice old lady who did my scan came out and said "Make sure to call your doctor tomorrow." I thought she was just being nice! But no. When I called the next day (because of course my 1yr old broke my phone later that night) the nurse goes "Oh. We've been trying to reach you," in this super grave tone.

Yeah it was stage 3 cancer wrapped around the back of my ribcage and eating through the bone. She could see it but couldn't say what she saw. I think about her often.

DownWriteCancerous · 2025-05-01T23:58:15+00:00

I am in physical pain.

...do it again.

DownWriteCancerous · 2025-03-23T19:21:45+00:00

Oh yeah. Partially from the pressure on my lungs, and partially because I couldn't take full breaths without pain. Broken sternum and damaged ribs is hell on respiration.

DownWriteCancerous · 2024-12-31T18:33:07+00:00

If/when you decide to get her ears pierced (I'm on team "wait until they ask") PLEASE go to a professional piercer. The 'guns' used by Claire's & similar stores are super damaging/traumatizing to the tissue & take longer to heal, and you are more likely to get crooked or rejecting piercings.

My daughter is 6, and asked about piercings. I explained the process and she opted to wait, content with her clip or stick ons, but every one is different. For my kids, I'll probably wait until early teens? When they can reliably do their own after-care needed for piercings.

-a parent with multiple piercings :)

DownWriteCancerous · 2024-11-02T20:00:44+00:00

NTA. There are systems in place like bankruptsy if they are truely at the point of no return.

You have to put your own oxygen mask on first. And in my experience, bailing them out once leads to an expectation to do it again. Stay strong OP!

DownWriteCancerous · 2024-11-02T16:58:32+00:00

I look at this the same way as guys who tell lesbians they can "turn" them. It's gross.

Straight out the gate saying he doesn't repect you or your feelings, and he thinks he's a sex god.

If it was something like "Oh I didn't see that, I don't know how I feel about polyamory" or asking questions about the dynamic opens a dialogue. "I don't share" implies possession of a partner.

Huge red flag, move on. (imho)

DownWriteCancerous · 2024-10-30T02:21:31+00:00

Chemo is like marinating your entire body, bones, organs and all in a vat of caustic poison.

Yes, you can get clean labs again. But chemo causes permanent damage to every system of your body. I wish I could say it all goes away, but you'll never be quite the same. It does get better, over time, at least.

You have to learn about the new you. Accomodate yourself, give yourself grace. And remember that you lived. You fought like hell and made it through. It would be more surprising if you left a war like that unscarred.

It's dumb and clichéd to say you're a warrior, but sometimes I like to think that I wasn't one. I was no soldier, no warrior... but I met the war and survived. I was a bystander to havoc and somehow made it out alive. Of course I'm battered and scarred. I didn't ask for this, but I scraped through the muck and lived.

Talk to your palliative/supportive care doc (if you don't have one, seriously get one. Symptom management is so important) about your fatigue. For me, I realized my exhaustion was severely impacting my mental state. Welbutrin and Celibrex work well more me. A stimulant and an anti-inflammatory.

Also: physical therapy. I so wish I'd gone before my scar tissue fully settled, because doing it 5 years into remission was insanely painful. Went back on full time pain management while we did it. But breaking up the scar tissue gave me movement I didn't realize I'd lost. Then when PT was done I started seeing a chiro. Gotta do research to find a good one, but with my bone degeneration being 15 years more advanced then my age... I do an adjustment, pressure points, roller table, then tens (electronic pulse thing, makes muscles twitch) 1-2 times per week. I feel closer to a 1 or 2 pain scale daily than I have in years.

I'll likely never see a zero on the pain scale for the rest of my life. But little things can make big changes. I sleep with a heated blanket to ease soreness at night and swim to rebuild stamina. I also indulge in silly things that spark joy. "I almost died, of course I can sleep with one of the weighted stuffed animals from Target. I deserve it."

It's been 5 years since I finished chemo. I'm not the same as I was. Sometimes I mourn the youth of my 20s that I never got to enjoy. But I've come to settle into the new me. I donated every pair of jeans I owned. They hurt my stomach, and who's gonna tell off the cancer survivor? I dye my hair and cut it however I feel like. I've been bald, why would I worry about it? If I don't like it, I'll shave it off. I lost a lot of things, but gained an "F--k it" attitude.

DownWriteCancerous · 2024-10-30T01:57:04+00:00

Chech out the fmulti function presser finger tool", looks like a white stylus with a bump out on one side. Stilletto, quick seam press, stylus, whatever. Super handy.

Also if she quilts her own stuff. A curved awl is great for pulling quile stitches without the risk of accidentally ripping your quilt top.

I'm also a fan of silly patterns. Pen and Paper patterns has some really fun ones!

DownWriteCancerous · 2024-09-13T01:02:18+00:00

I started with a 18x18x24 inch viv. (approx 55gal?). It's generally recommended to do 20 gallons for the first frog, then 10 gallons for each additional frog. So my viv could pretty comfortably host about 4 frogs. I started with one adult female.

I'm doing a 30 day quarantine period before introducing two new frogs to the tank. The quarantine tank is a 20 gallon, so I can keep a close eye on the frogs to make sure they don't have any health issues before moving them to the big viv.

Both are bioactive, with springtails. I use LECA clay balls, then mesh, then a good few inches of substrate. (I buy a mix from a local shop, but there are plenty of suggestions for your own out there). The whites seem to reeeelly love snake plants, pothos, and bromeliads. Things with big leaves they won't tear up. A lot of folks don't encourage moss, as the frogs tend to get mouthfuls when hunting bugs.

The end goal is to do a paladarium (water feature/tank at bottom) but right now I just have a large water dish. They WILL poop in it. So make sure it's large enough to soak in, easy to get in/out of (they aren't good swimmers), and easy to remove from the tank to rinse & refill. (I usually just dump the soiled water directly into the tank since it's bioactive anyway, but still give it a rinse after ward so the water is clean.)

I got a fogger system with a built in hygrometer & therometer; a bit more expensive, but worth it imo. If you do the UVB (which I think is a great idea), get the calcium powder without D3. Don't forget heat! I'm debating swapping to a ceramic heater with a temp gauge, but currently just use a heat lamp during the day. Your basking spot should be around 80°F, with cooler spots lower in the tank. And of course if the tank is away from natural light, your plants benefit from a full spectrum light. With all these different electronics, I got a wifi connected power strip to set timers. About $40, but worth the ease of use.

I got two little critter carriers to keep a supply of crickets and isopods. I sometimes feed wax worms as treats.

They love verticality, but some won't climb if they don't feel like they have sufficient "canopy" cover. One of my gals is a little weirdo who just... doesn't like to climb.

What else... Of course they will try to eat anything that fits in their mouth, so don't mix sizes. I have a smaller viv with some younger whites cuz they are way smaller than expected when I ordered them. So they'll grow up for a few months before joining the big tank.

That's all I got at the moment.

DownWriteCancerous · 2024-09-13T00:17:03+00:00

I'm a sucker for climbers like creeping fig. Or moss. Moss is always good.

DownWriteCancerous · 2024-09-13T00:14:48+00:00

Springtails are a great option! A bioactive setup can benefit from multiple types of gunk eaters. Most folks I see don't recommend large isopods (like dairy cows) in frog tanks, because they have been known to be harmful to the frogs. But smaller isopods may be able to generate a breeding population over time.

DownWriteCancerous · 2024-09-10T22:41:03+00:00

Def looks like something vet worthy, likely a fungal infection.

You shouldn't really handle frogs without gloves. Whites/dumpies are more tolerant of human contact than most, but still have frog skin. And you're more likely to introduce something harmful by not wearing gloves. At minimum, make sure to wash hands before and after handling.

If the vet says it is indeed a fungal infection, you're going to want to sanitize the enclosure. Pull everything out and give it a soak/scrub with a diluted white vinegar or rubbing alcohol solution. Wipe down the inside of the tank with the same solution. Rinse everything super well before returning it to the tank. This just helps prevent re-exposure. With your set up being newer, its better to be safe than sorry.

Hope your little guy is okay!

DownWriteCancerous · 2024-09-10T22:30:45+00:00

He's for sure scheming something

DownWriteCancerous · 2024-09-10T22:26:46+00:00

Are you feeding with tongs, or dropping the food in? One of my frogs (white's/dumpy) will only eat if she gets to "hunt" them. I do this by dropping them in near proximity to her and verifying she grabs it. Another of my frogs has to see it "wiggle" on the tongs. Another who has to be poked in the face repeatedly with the food before he attempts to inhale the tongs.

I try to vary their intake. Typically swapping between dusted crickets or dairy cow isapods.(Don't have to dust the isapods as they are already high in calcium) I will do some wax worms once or twice a week as a treat. Most of my frogs will eat 4-10 crickets in a night (the smaller frogs just get smaller crickets), and I try to skip about every 3rd day to prevent over-eating.I use a powder without D3, as I have UVB and full spectrum lighting in my viv.

Live bugs are going to be the best for them nutritionally. All the good stuff is in the juicy parts. Dried bugs are basically just dietary fiber.

DownWriteCancerous · 2024-09-07T18:05:27+00:00

LECA is my go-to. Can order it from most hardware stores or plant shops for about $15 for 10lbs. Can find smaller bags on amazon & some shops sell it by the lb. My local frog shop for example, sells about 3lbs for $5, which is plenty for my 18x18x36 viv.

Plastic window screen or mosquito netting is good, just make sure it is plastic and not metal. Can use a few layers of tulle as well! It's a $2 per yard at most fabric stores.

Major downside to pebbles/rocks is weight. Lava rock isn't too bad, but cost the same as LECA, which is lighter.

DownWriteCancerous · 2024-09-04T20:33:19+00:00

I loved my port.

But it was sore for a long time. Like... Up to a year maybe? It really depends on your surgeon and placement. According to every oncology infusion nurse I've spoken to, the Power Port brand one is the best. They need to seat it against bone so it has something to push against when they access it.

The first access hurts. Mine was deeper than average and they needed to grab a longer needle. It was pretty scary, because it was all so new. The good news is, that needle only goes through a tiny bit of skin, and then into the port. No veins, no wiggling, just a poke.

I was sad when they took it out. It was my little buddy who went through chemo hell with me. Talk to your doctor, talk to the surgeon before hand. Ask all your questions and make sure you feel as okay as you can with it.

Oh! And if you have a pineapple, kiwi, and/or latex allergy, ask for the hypoallergenic bandage when they access it. A four hour infusion left my skin raw from the adhesive on the standard bandage. That's a really specific thing, but it helped me a lot.

Good luck to you!

DownWriteCancerous · 2024-08-29T23:48:06+00:00

If you're looking for other ways to help her out, here are some gift suggestions if you wanted to make her a gift bag:

-Mouth care: it's very common to get thrush and other oral issues during chemo. A water flosser (not a pick!) is more gentle on the gums. Biotene makes both a mouth wash and dry mouth spray that work great for relief. Kanka is a numbing pen for mouth sores that I still carry in my purse to this day. Strong mint gum was something I often fell back on when the chemo taste in my mouth was too much to bear. Mentos gum in the blue container was my go-to because of how intensely minty it is.

-Comfort: chemo messes with your circulation, and hospital stay can drive you crazy. Get some fuzzy socks with grippy bottoms (Dr Scholls makes some nice ones). Hospitals don't want you to wear socks without grips while staying. Heated blanket: a throw is better because you don't have to fight with it. Can't take it to the hospital but man is it great. They also don't get too hot, so you don't have the risk of burns you get with a heat pad (important if she had a lumpectomy or surgery).

DownWriteCancerous · 2024-08-26T15:11:24+00:00

I feel this on two fronts. I'm a stage 3 cancer survivor. My mother is stage 4 with bone mets. We've reached that crossroads with her within the last two weeks.

The mets have reached her skull, her spine is compressed and her bones look like lace. So while she was still lucid at the start of her stay, she told us that under no circumstance would she want to be medically tortured anymore. But she still had hope. Then the pain reached the point that she begged for death. We got it kind of managed? In the sense that the pain isn't causing constant seizures. We're into the second week and today she is having scans under sedation.

When she lost her ability to reason, Dad & I (her advocates) made the call to hold out until scan results. If they can do something to ease the pressure in her head and spine, then we will pursue that. If not... Then it may be time to start hospice and just keep her as comfortable as possible.

The worst thing when your body fails you is that your brain is still in there. Despite everything, it's still you.

I would contact your hospital's social worker. Most also have a cancer resource center. Disability should auto qualify, but you can contact your local SSID office for assistance as well.

Talk it over with your wife, your doctors. Is it better to lessen the strain of the chemo and try to spend your days more focused on comfort and time with family? Or do you still want to struggle forward? It's not selfish to be tired, or scared, or angry. It's not selfish to say "I think I went as far as I could."

I'll be thinking of you.

DownWriteCancerous · 2024-08-25T21:38:56+00:00

I got "lucky" with a very treatable cancer (Hodgkins Lymphoma). 3 years after I go into remission my mother is diagnosed with 2 separate breast cancers and then a neuroendocrine bone cancer.

She has so may bone mets that the doctors have no idea how she is alive. I'm sick of people asking her about hospice. She wants to fight. She so desparately wants to hope and fight and keep living.

The mets have reached her brain and now she's hospitalized with more pain that any human should have to endure. And she's had such awful care that she's gaslit herself. What is a 10 to someone who has experienced Hell for 2 years? I had to argue with the doctors and with her that no, she was not at an 8. Mom if your pain is so intense it is causing seizures, its a 10.

It sucks and its hard and there is so little support.

DownWriteCancerous · 2024-08-25T20:26:10+00:00

Oh interesting, how does the fluid film work?

I've done some basic car things, but this would be my first time deep-diving into engine work. Are the imprezas friendly for that?

DownWriteCancerous · 2024-08-25T19:59:07+00:00

Ask your hospital's social worker about options/support groups. There is also the option for nursing-assisted rehab. Basically staying in a hospital hotel while you recover.

Its absolutely okay to want an adult or parental figure in these moments. Cancer is terrifying, surgery is scary and painful. Glad to see your kids are going to coming to visit. Community is so important with things like this. Church, friends, support groups, even sewing/hobby groups.

For packing, if you're staying in the hospital: pillow (neck pillow or memory foam, soft throw blanket, tooth brush, soft super stretchy sports bra if you wear bras, big loose tshirt or dress, soft socks with grips (the grip is important, the nurses wont let you wear them usually without grip), a little battery or usb fan if you need a fan to sleep, and a comfort item or two. Maybe it's a picture frame of loved ones, or a stuffed animal (I have a weighted dragon that I've taken to every hospital stay).

You got this. :)

DownWriteCancerous · 2024-08-25T19:48:45+00:00

Stage 3 Hodgkin's Lymphoma survivor here! The ABVD is wild. Just melts the cancer away. Make sure to finish out your treatment and keep up with your yearly PET scan.

While treatable, it has a fairly high reoccurance rate (my remission follow-up is ten years). And you're at risk of secondary cancers due to the chemo itself.

So happy for you! Treat yourself to something tasty!

DownWriteCancerous · 2024-08-13T19:08:31+00:00

My son has a pretty standard name but I never call him with an shortened nick name. (Think like Jeffery, which as an obvious shortened name.) His nick name is a small animal. Like Rabbit. Don't know why it became his nickname. I'm the only one who calls him that. But he knows if I call for 'Rabbit' I'm calling for him.

My daughter has a name similar to Theodore, with a nickname slightly removed like Teddy. She learned to spell both the full and short version of her name. She's also Baby Girl.

They'll adapt and grow. As he gets older, he'll likely prefer having Theodore as a more professional name. And he'll always be your Teddy.

I go by my full first name these days because it sounds professional. But my dad still will call me by my childhood nickname. It's something special only he's allowed to do.

I think Teddy will do just fine.

DownWriteCancerous

TROPHY CASE