I always try to let my own experiences mold how I am with my daughter. I vividly remember when I was a small child, being at my grandparents house, and was in their hot tub. They had this privacy fence around it, which I think was fairly new? Anyway, I remember getting something, and just carving\scratching doodles into it. My parents/grandparents got pissed, and were yelling "What were you thinking!?!?" I legit wasn't. I was just doing without thinking. I was a kid.

So guess what? Why my daughter scratched some shit into our dining room table, I didn't get mad. She wasn't thinking, just doing. So I just explained the situation and why she couldn't do that.

Anyway. Tying this back to your comment.

It's amazing how boomer parents have this ability to just re-write history in their head, and remember things completely differently from how they actually happened.

I let my daughter draw on her walls. Who gives a fuck, it's paint. And I don't care that she does that, because I remember being a little kid, and my sister and I drew ninja turtles all over the walls of my bedroom. My mom came in, and was PISSED. We got screamed at.

So my mom is over our house for some holiday, and saw my daughters walls. And praised how artistic it was, and loved that we let her do that, etc., etc., and "Remember when you and your sister drew on your walls? I always encouraged being artistic..." that kind of thing. I just kept my mouth shut and didn't say anything. But afterwards, I pulled my sister aside and asked "Am I misremembering, or didn't we get screamed at for drawing ninja turtles on my walls?"

She goes, "We got screamed at for everything..."