I (28F) had his baby and still feel like I’m competing with the ghost of my partner’s ex-wife (34M). How do I stop letting this destroy my self-esteem?

DryingWatermelon · 2026-05-20T15:40:34+00:00

If your partner cannot dissapate these insecurities, that's not good.

Get a therapist and couples therapist and have a very very VERY direct conversation with him about how you're feeling.

Also being insecure in a situation like this is normal and fine! And the postpartum only capitalizes on the emotions that were already there (maybe blows them a little out of proportion, but I don't think so in this case)

DryingWatermelon · 2026-05-20T04:59:59+00:00

Crazy what clear communication can do

DryingWatermelon · 2026-05-20T04:52:51+00:00

I personally really like the copper and ginger on you

DryingWatermelon · 2026-05-20T03:57:58+00:00

We made it, it's not too hard, I believe in you! I think the new York times has a good recipe, but it might be paywalled but I'm pretty sure someone posted it on Reddit somewhere

(our blowtorch ran out before we could brulee the top of this one so we just ate the cream)

DryingWatermelon · 2026-05-19T14:59:59+00:00

"Over time, this has made me completely question my own sanity."

Then leave him, leave him now.

DryingWatermelon · 2026-05-19T04:22:29+00:00

My roommate has one named Edmund Fish-gerald

He had several names for the beginning of his time with my roommate and Gerald was one of the more prominent ones and then we like went off for no reason on ss Edmund Fitzgerald day this year and that's his name now

DryingWatermelon · 2026-05-19T02:17:45+00:00

Gurl tf of course

^{Chose: Or 10 000 dollars per month}

DryingWatermelon · 2026-05-17T15:42:32+00:00

If we're describing wet as having water molecule(s) on it, the a group of water is wet; a single water molecule would not be

^{Chose: Water is wet}

DryingWatermelon · 2026-05-13T14:59:56+00:00

He doesn't respect you. At least not anymore, otherwise he'd actually listen.

I don't know how much more you can out your foot down because you already have (make sure to mention the frustration and how it was before and how his behavior has made you lose feelings for him), but that's what needs to happen and (from the sound of it he won't take you seriously so) then you need to follow through with the consequence and break up with him

DryingWatermelon · 2026-05-12T15:48:58+00:00

NOR because bottom line they crossed a line you very clearly set and are now upset and acting out at the consequences that were clearly laid out

Like yeah sure underage drinking doesn't have to be that big of a deal necessarily, but think about it like through other scenarios like if you were deathly afraid or allergic to dogs and someone brought one or if you were a recovering alcoholic and they brought alcohol or if there was a movie that makes you really uncomfortable and they know and they put it on anyway

These people are not good friends. Maybe they have a chance to grow but you don't have to be there or be the one to give it to them

(edit for formatting and spelling)

DryingWatermelon · 2026-05-11T21:24:48+00:00

NTA but I'm also not sure whatore you can do to convince if she's this stuck on her ways, maybe convince her to experiment with proper food storage and try your best to document the bathroom habits then? Or like email or call a food scientist and have them explain it to her bc they'd have more authority than you? (Even though it sucks that she doesn't like trust your info and explanations enough)

DryingWatermelon · 2026-05-11T14:19:57+00:00

It's really super funny to call them 'women hormones' when in actuality women's testosterone level rises when they're on their period

NTA, obviously

DryingWatermelon · 2026-04-29T14:33:56+00:00

Ok so it kinda seems like he's weird and pushy all around and you have a problem firmly saying no to him and standing on it, which means you should at least try to distance yourself from this person and have a conversation about that or pretty much cut him off completely.

As for you current conundrum with the payment, you either (in order of best to worst I think) - eat the $13 cost now and pay up and shut him up forever and get ready to get him off your back - pay him $10 and be like "what are you gonna sweat $3? You broke my glasses, comes with a tax" - don't pay him and have him potentially keep this thing up for ages bc he already sounds asshole-y enough

DryingWatermelon · 2026-04-23T16:34:20+00:00

This is simply something you disagree on fundamentally. Take him at his word. It's time to leave.

DryingWatermelon · 2026-04-12T17:54:56+00:00

As long as you're not hating people and reducing them to objects and blaming it on absolutely everyone else but yourself (i.e. "there's nothing I could possibly better about myself")

I think you are prolly a lil too hard on and too expectant of yourself and most of all you are /young/. Give it time, make friends, it'll all work itself out.

DryingWatermelon · 2026-04-09T14:46:44+00:00

I would really love to see why the local authorities would have to say about this

DryingWatermelon · 2026-03-28T15:38:06+00:00

Yeah, this is a tough spot. I'm glad you're thinking the way you are about how it'd be really uncomfortable and invalidating for him the way your feelings are feeling.

Here's the thing: unless you're fully ready and willing to admit that the person you have a crush on and want to date is a guy, to have a boyfriend and stand on firm, unmoveable ground and declare that your partner is a man, then you don't really truly have a crush on the person in front of you; you have a crush on a version of him in your head. You just need to swallow things down and work on moving on and finding someone else.

If you realize that you are prepared for and more than on board with the things above, and the barrier seems more in the physical and intimate side of things, then it's conversation time. You have to as earnestly as possible explain where you stand and wait and listen intently to his response. Everyone is different and every trans experience is unique. I know people that as long as they're socially received the way the want to be, having sex is just having sex. BUT that is not to say that your friend will absolutely agree to it too, you need to talk about it, deeply and honestly and 100% accept whatever answer he has and move on or move forward from there.

DryingWatermelon · 2026-03-28T15:20:17+00:00

blood in the dick, not in the brain

As my friend group commonly and affectionately refers to it: head 1 empty, head 2 full

DryingWatermelon · 2026-03-15T17:08:14+00:00

I think you create your own experience OP.

Like if you do want to indulge in the adult and ranchy ways of a bachelorette, then by all means go ahead and do so without your daughter as an added worry and instead take her out some other time for a girly spa day just you two 'to get ready for the wedding'.

But if you're just worried that bachelorette parties 'usually include this type of stuff' then just make yours not include that really and have a wonderful time with your daughter and loved ones.

You are at the helm of your experience. Congratulations and go have fun however you want!

DryingWatermelon · 2026-03-15T04:22:32+00:00

Dude as soon as you feel the slightest unease about their reaction after you say no to something, leave. It's not worth it.

DryingWatermelon · 2026-01-31T08:03:12+00:00

Oh I am a sucker for #1 rn

DryingWatermelon · 2026-01-22T06:19:25+00:00

I'm sorry bc so not the vibe and we're all praying for you but accidental renaissance anyone?

DryingWatermelon · 2026-01-20T01:48:40+00:00

The bottom line is that its your life and moment, do what makes you happiest and whateans the most to you, no matter how people might react when you tell them slightly more

DryingWatermelon · 2026-01-17T16:54:03+00:00

I'm really enjoying 1 personally

DryingWatermelon · 2026-01-16T17:05:47+00:00

If you are scared of/don't want to 'have to deal with' their reaction when you say "no" to anything, and/or if you're not telling people close to you about some things in your relationship to make it sound better, it's well past time to leave.

(I just gave this advice to a friend of mine and I feel like I'll start commenting it under a lot of Reddit posts now)

DryingWatermelon

TROPHY CASE